Officially Fenner Robin and Rudy Fenner

Ever wonder how life's decisions impact our family dynamics? In our latest series, 'It's a Wonderful Life,' we unravel this, exploring the ripple effects of our decisions on multiple lives. From our own journey of relocating within the DMV area (Washington, D.C. /Maryalnd / Virginia), to our guests, David and Kelly's experiences of shifting homes - we tread on this  journey of discovery together.

David, our son-in-law and part of our multi-generational household, shares his unique insights on acclimating to new neighborhoods and cultural landscapes. He candidly discusses the profound effect these changes can have on one's sense of identity and humor. Kelly, our daughter, sheds light on her experiences of adjusting to new environments. As we talk about our own experiences of adjusting to fresh surroundings, we delve into the ways they shape our parenting styles and decisions on moving with our own families. 

We  also reflect on the cultural adjustments when moving from a diverse "salad bowl" community to one that was more of a "melting pot" and the effects of that on our family. While we as parents wanted a different neighborhood and easier commute, we also found challenges in advocating for our children in an unfamiliar school system. The kids had to navigate  friendships as they tried to form their new community.

Lastly, we emphasize understanding the value of a different place and how it can enrich our lives.  We also look at the balancing act of agreement and disagreement within the parent-child relationship, and the importance of providing a nurturing environment where kids can express their thoughts and feelings without fear. So, tune in as we navigate through our lives' transitions and comprehend the impact they can have on  family dynamics.
Thank you so much for spending time with us today! We hope you enjoyed our conversation, related to something we said, and laughed along the way.

Please give us a like and subscribe to our podcast, so you don't miss ANYTHING!

Follow us on all of our social media via linktr.ee/officiallyfenner!

A special thanks goes to @yancylott for producing, editing, and creating the music for our podcasts!
xo,
Robin & Rudy

Calling fans of Netflix's  'Bridgerton' and specifically those of 'Queen Charlotte, a Bridgerton Story', you won't want to miss this. On this podcast, we explore this fictional story based on the real King George III and his wife,  Queen Charlotte, and the similarities between the show and what we've been talking about in terms of modern relationships and how to successfully build lives together. 

We found a number of similarities between what we've covered in previous episodes, and what was portrayed in "Queen Charlotte", and thought it worthy of a conversation: 
How did their introduction affect their relationship? Was Charlotte a "trench girl" (a term Rudy uses refers to the partner who is always in the trenches with you, even in the toughest times)? How did her choices impact their marriage and how can her actions be applied to modern relationships?We also cover the the ebb and flow of leadership in relationships.  Witness Queen Charlotte's unwavering assertiveness with her mother-in-law and her dynamic with King George, highlighting the unpredictable nature of life's seasons. Can one be both a leader and a follower? Can you thrive in your current role? 
The scene where George gives Charlotte the choice to go over the wall was powerfully sets the stage for their relationship. Suppose he had forced her to do what he said? Here we uncover the importance of choice and its profound impact on relationship dynamics.
Finally, we take a look at the closing scene - where Queen Charlotte sits beside King George, a visual tapestry of their enduring bond - and uncover the nuances it reveals about their relationship, and the depths of their connection.

Shonda Rhimes' telling of this story as both a Bridgerton prequel and sequel, is genius.




Thank you so much for spending time with us today! We hope you enjoyed our conversation, related to something we said, and laughed along the way.

Please give us a like and subscribe to our podcast, so you don't miss ANYTHING!

Follow us on all of our social media via linktr.ee/officiallyfenner!

A special thanks goes to @yancylott for producing, editing, and creating the music for our podcasts!
xo,
Robin & Rudy

Join us as Rudy and I reflect on how we got married at 21 and have survived 43 years of marriage!

One of the things we talked about before was the influence that our family and friends had on our relationship! We didn't realize it then but the people who know you best can see the qualities each of you have that either mesh or don't. Ours wasn't an arranged marriage per se, some of the people who were closest to us saw things  that they thought would make us a good match. 

What can also happen is that as a couple grows closer, time with friends is reduced. As we spent time together we found that there were experiences in each of our lives that the other hadn't experienced. When you're merging lifestyles you have to figure out what part of you are you willing to sacrifice or expand to accommodate the other person.  

Ideally, in the dynamics of a relationship that you're building together, you get to know someone and then respond to what you know. This includes observing and then  responding to what you observe. Rudy shares a story about giving Robin a radio for her office (back in the day of course!) so she could listen to her favorite soap opera which at the time was "All My Children".  Last year, after he completed treatment for cancer, their kids banded together and planned a family trip to Disney World for one of Rudy's favorite events, to celebrate that milestone.  Know what people like and then act on it. You'll also be setting an example for your kids. Rudy says that "Observe and be quiet long enough to understand what that person likes. Then incorporate that into what you're going to do to communicate your love and affection for them.

As our relationship we grew, other relationships took a back seat for a while and some people didn't like that. It wasn't so much that they didn't like one of us for the other' they thought we were two young for such a serious commitment. We later learned that at our wedding some people bet that we wouldn't last three years!

There may have been some truth to that when you consider who and what you're really called to be. Rudy had a dream to be a singing superstar, and encountered and worked with names you know - Lionel Richie (when he was with the Commodores), Michael Jackson, Casablanca Records, and more. Robin envisioned living in Malibu in a white mansion by the ocean. In this podcast, they dissect letting go of a dream in THAT business, and realizing that people have to have a purpose that involves love, affection, and caring, not celebration and worship. Even though Rudy had a burning desire to pursue a career in music, there are things that you give up of yourself as you take on new roles.

As we reflect (we call it therapy while you listen :), we realize the value of taking that time for our relationship. We figured out what we had in common and navigated our way.  We know that had we embarked on a music trajectory at that time, we probably would not have stayed together and would not have had the family that we have. We are where we're supposed to be.




Thank you so much for spending time with us today! We hope you enjoyed our conversation, related to something we said, and laughed along the way.

Please give us a like and subscribe to our podcast, so you don't miss ANYTHING!

Follow us on all of our social media via linktr.ee/officiallyfenner!

A special thanks goes to @yancylott for producing, editing, and creating the music for our podcasts!
xo,
Robin & Rudy

When we got married, we were so young we didn't think about these key building blocks!  We WERE best friends, loved spending time together, and were very attracted to each other. We just ASSUMED we would last forever. 
But staying together for 43 years takes a lot more than that. So, we're breaking down some of the things that we figured out and can now better articulate for others to focus on...things like trust. 
How do you build trust? It's not just what you say, it's what you do. How do you communicate? (Hint: it's not just talking, but also listening.) How intentional are you about your relationship? Listen in as we dissect how we figured some of this out. 
Talking about this is therapy for us, lol,  but you get to benefit!
Thank you so much for spending time with us today! We hope you enjoyed our conversation, related to something we said, and laughed along the way.

Please give us a like and subscribe to our podcast, so you don't miss ANYTHING!

Follow us on all of our social media via linktr.ee/officiallyfenner!

A special thanks goes to @yancylott for producing, editing, and creating the music for our podcasts!
xo,
Robin & Rudy

We celebrated our 43rd wedding anniversary last summer. We have a lot of fun but no one has a roadmap for marriage that's absolute. Each relationship is totally unique. We don't know how we got here. We think there are some common threads so this is
part one of a series called "A Marriage That Lasts". 
Starting with how do you find the right person, in this episode we talk about how we met and what made for interesting challenges in their relationship. We realized the qualities that we liked in each other - things like how mindful someone is of who you are. What are the things that we found in common that we enjoy doing? What are his/her values? 

Throw in what we call "The Rock n' Roll Era", when Rudy emceed for concerts with artists like Bill Withers, Michael Jackson, The Commodores (with Lionel Richie), Smokey Robinson and so many others....and our dates weren't the same as going to McDonald's on Friday nights. They're fun stories but lead us to what we learned about loyalty and dependability. 

And then consider what's important. It's not what someone says but what they actually do that tells you what someone believes in. Do you inspire each other? Do you free each other? Do you balance each other? How do you help each other through tough times? 

Get ready to laugh along with us in this episode, (but take a few notes just in case you're trying to figure out if he or she is "the one"!).






Thank you so much for spending time with us today! We hope you enjoyed our conversation, related to something we said, and laughed along the way.

Please give us a like and subscribe to our podcast, so you don't miss ANYTHING!

Follow us on all of our social media via linktr.ee/officiallyfenner!

A special thanks goes to @yancylott for producing, editing, and creating the music for our podcasts!
xo,
Robin & Rudy

We tried to eat well in the past and thought we were doing okay. But there were major challenges with what Rudy could digest. After his cancer diagnosis earlier this year, we committed to being more intentional about eating in a healthier way, AND we found a way around Rudy’s challenges! 

Our daughter Courtney led the charge by creating new recipes, many of which included more plant-based ingredients. On the road to eating more plant based, there are three things that we learned to get started: 
1. Meet people where they are 
2. Each person’s plan will be different 
3. Experiment with different foods and new ways of prepared them 
There is a debate about whether sugar leads to cancer or its growth. We’re not medical professionals and can’t answer that question. But what we HAVE learned, and makes sense to us, is that too much sugar CAN lead to other conditions that in turn, may lead to cancer. 
Reduce Sugar 
One of the first things that we did was to start counting the grams of sugar in each serving of our food, and limited it to 36g a day for Rudy, and 24g a day for Robin. We found that adding seasonings and spices really helped to replace some of the flavors that we associate with the sweetness of sugar. 
Reduce Processed Foods 
We also further reduced processed foods, including processed meats! Yes, we kept some things like canned beans, but in general we made a conscious effort to reduce food that can stay on the shelf for months. As our doctor says, if you can’t pronounce all of the ingredients, it’s probably not good for us to eat it. 
Eat More Fresh
Okay, THIS had been the hitch for more than 40 years. As a child, Rudy ate some bad watermelon and since then, he was unable to digest any fresh fruits and vegetables. Even many that were cooked to some degree, caused problems for him. These foods – many of them known to have cancer-fighting nutrients – were a non-starter and he really wanted to eat them! This was so unusual that it was a mystery to his doctors. 
Rudy says that as people we need to be in community, and learn about each other’s experiences. Once his sister really understood his issues, she suggested that he might have an enzyme deficiency that was preventing my digestion of these foods. He found a plant-based enzyme that has been life-changing. And today he can eat ANY fruit or vegetable that he wants. 
Other Changes We’re Making 
We rarely have fried, grilled and roasted foods anyway, but learned that those should be minimized. And we’re looking at the Mediterranean diet and learning more about Blue Zones – areas of the world where people typically live longer and healthier lives, much of which is due to the way that they eat. 
The Results so Far 
We’ve both lost weight and are in healthy BMI ranges. People often think that when you work out, you should have a lot of bulk. However, a body mass calculator may tell you differently. Your BMI is calculated based on your age, gender, height, and weight. Here's a link to a BMI calculator but there are also others - https://www.calculator.net/bmi-calculator.html. It's helpful for setting a baseline and following your progress!
Thank you so much for spending time with us today! We hope you enjoyed our conversation, related to something we said, and laughed along the way.

Please give us a like and subscribe to our podcast, so you don't miss ANYTHING!

Follow us on all of our social media via linktr.ee/officiallyfenner!

A special thanks goes to @yancylott for producing, editing, and creating the music for our podcasts!
xo,
Robin & Rudy