Positive Discipline is a program designed to teach young people to become responsible, respectful and resourceful members of their communities. Based on the best selling Positive Discipline books by Dr. Jane Nelsen, Lynn Lott, Cheryl Erwin, Kate Ortolano, Mary Hughes, Mike Brock, Lisa Larson and others, it teaches important social and life skills in a manner that is deeply respectful and encouraging for both children and adults (including parents, teachers, childcare providers, youth workers, and others).
SCHEDULE SPECIAL TIME FOR CONNECTION
One of the most encouraging things parents can do for their children is to spend regularly scheduled special time with them. You may already spend lots of time with your children. However there is a difference between have to time, casual time, and scheduled special time.
Try a silent (secret) signal. (Kids love the secret part—especially when they have helped create it.) Creating silent signals can be part of “taking time for training” (another great tool card).
Control Your Behavior
The Positive Discipline Tool Card of "Control Your Behavior" is sometimes easier said than done. Have you ever lost control of your behavior with your children? Listen to the following audio excerpt from Building Self-Esteem Through Positive Discipline as I discuss a time when I completely lost control with my daughter.
Imagine you are an employee who has made a mistake, and your boss comes to you and says, “You go to time-out and think about what you have done. And don’t come out until I say you can.” Or, if you are married, imagine your spouse coming to you and saying, “I don’t like your behavior. You are grounded for a week.” In either of these scenario’s what would you be thinking, feeling, and deciding. Is there any chance that you would say, “Oh, thank you so much. This is so helpful. I’m feeling so encouraged and empowered and can hardly wait to do better.” Not likely.
Have you ever tried talking with your children only to be frustrated by one word, unenthusiastic, totally bored responses? Many parents become discouraged when they ask their children, “How was your day?” and their children say, “Fine.” Then they ask, “What did you do today?” The response is, “Nothing.” Try closet listening.
Another Hug Story - Podcast
Some of you may know that a Hug is one of my favorite Positive Discipline Tools. During this podcast you will understand why as I interview Beth Whitehead after she sent me the following success story.
Focusing on Solutions?
This topic is very important, and Jane's books and ideas are wonderful, every parent should read her book, but to go through these podcasts is hard, they are filled with promotions, of another book, and another book, on CD, paper, download... oh. Actual solution would be a 2-5 min part. At least half of each podcast is blah blah about another wonderful speaker and another wonderful book. I guess, it's her livelihood, so why should she give it away for free, just feels, sometimes less might be more. It's a bit out of focus.
It sounds like a bunch of theories that will never will work in reality but I tried it out on my teenager! To my amazement we couldn't be closer now. I still have the books on hand, I still have to go back to reaffirm & re-read & I use it with my other two children also. It just makes sense.