Mo asks Dr. Ivan Misner: How do we develop more and deeper relationships?
BNI now has over 276,000 members and over the course of 2020, those members generated over $16 billion in business. A one-to-one conversation with people periodically is the best way to develop a relationship with them. The Gains exchange is a great way to deepen a relationship with someone you know. Write down your goals, accomplishments, interests, networks, and skills, and find out what you have in common. Ivan tells the story of two BNI members that were initially skeptical of the Gains exchange and discovered something they had in common that became the basis for a great relationship. People are usually open to the Gains exchange. You don’t have to frame the one-to-one beforehand if you approach it the right way. The perfect way to ask the Gains questions is to model it. Start with your goals, accomplishments, interests, networks, and skills, and show them what you want to know about them. The modeling provides the example instead of a perfectly designed question. Near the end of the conversation reiterate what you learned about them and open the idea of having another conversation in the future to connect on things that are important to them. If the other person has a need that you can help with by sharing a resource, that becomes the perfect reason to follow up. Before you ask for something, you should invest in the relationship with them first.
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