Recapture Your Life is about taking control of your life and living a life you design. This isn't about hustle culture or getting rich quick, it's about finding success on your terms. So whether you're just starting out in life, or you woke up to find your ladder of success leaning against the wrong wall, the Recapture Your Life podcast is for you.
Do Hard Things That Matter EP12
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Simplifying Life Domains For Growth EP11
Welcome back. This week we’re going to be talking about life domains, what they are and how they can help us live on purpose. This has been an eye-opener for me. In doing this research, I found that there are 5 basic life domains. However, you can track as many as you need to help you. There is freedom to choose how many or how few areas you want to focus on because it’s your life. What I want to do is share some of the life domains and then you can pick up which ones you feel you need to focus on. I also want to take it from the extreme and hopefully make it simple.
Why Are Life Domains Important?
Knowing and understanding what our life domains are helps us understand how we are doing in certain areas of life. If we are honest, they can show us where we are being super successful and where we need to work.
I went through exercise in 2018 and found that I was floundering in most areas of my life. In fact, according to that survey, out of the 9 areas it focused on, I was at the bottom in five and just above the bottom in two. I was only doing superb in two areas of my life. Spirituality and relationship. The funny thing is, those were the areas I had decided to work on at the start of that year. So I knew before I ever took it, there were things I could fix. And you probably know that too. You know there are things in your life that can use some work.
Deciding on what life domains we want to focus on and sticking to them can help us grow in those areas. I would love to tell you I didn’t jump in and try to fix all of my life’s domains right away. But, that’s not true. I tried to fix them all at once and failed, so I started over and developed a set of life domains that fit me and my lifestyle. Because when we try to be something we’re not, we usually end up not being successful.
Another thing I learned while doing the exercise is life domains are a lot like values. When we know them, we can focus on them and adjust them so that we can grow. Knowing what we value and where our values fit our life domains will add another level to our growth.
The brilliant engineer and inventor Douglas Engelbart said, The better we get at getting better, the faster we will get better. He knew that the more we know and understand ourselves, the more we can grow and become our true selves.
What Life Domains Should I Focus On?
The one more or less scientific study I found said there are five basic life domains: health, relationships, community, career, and spirituality. The list grows exponentially from here. Health becomes diet and exercise, personal growth and Mental Health. Relationships become spouse, significant other, children, extended family. Community. becomes volunteering, religious organizations, kids’ sports, and friends. Career becomes vocation, job, avocation, hobbies and leisure. Spirituality becomes faith and religion. Then each of those can have their own area. And you can add money as well money becomes retirement, finances and charitable giving.
HealthRelationshipsCommunityCareerSpiritualityMoneyDietSpouse/Significant OtherVolunteeringVocationFaithFinancesExerciseChildrenReligious OrganizationAvocationReligionCharitable GivingPersonal GrowthFriendsKids SportsHobbiesRetirementMental HealthExtended FamilyLeisure
So you can see how it gets confusing pretty quick. There are 26 things that I’ve just listed. If we try to focus every day or every week on each of those things, we’re going to drive ourselves mad.
Let’s try to keep it simple. Not use these things to beat ourselves up. God knows we get enough of that from the constant barrage of negative self-talk.
Learning To Believe In Yourself EP10
This week’s episode is about believing in yourself. If you don’t believe in yourself and the ability you have, you’re not alone. They paid me to be a public speaker, and I didn’t like the sound of my voice, so I shied away from speaking. I didn’t believe that I had the ability to write and develop ideas, so I didn’t do that either. Most people that you look at when you walk into your office or down the street or into the grocery store don’t believe in the abilities that they have.
Maybe you were told that you aren’t supposed to believe in yourself. I’ll get into this later, but maybe your religious institution said that you can’t trust your abilities. They told you, you have to rely only on God. I’ll get into this later because that was me. I am a person who spent a lot of my life not believing in the abilities that I had because I was told not to. I want today to be the first step in trying to change that for you.
Stop Saying I Can’t
I can’t is the most limiting thing you can say to yourself. Thinking you can’t do something steals joy from your life. Even saying something like well I tried before and I wasn’t any good at it will rob you of doing something you love. As long as you tell yourself you can’t do something, you won’t do it. You may not even try to do it. if you think you can’t, you’re not going.
Even if you don’t think you’re going to be good at a subject, just trying something new can open you up to other opportunities. If you’ve always wanted to paint but knew you were no good at it, going to and taking a class will open you up to what is possible. The more classes you take, the better you’re going to become regardless of the talent level.
The next level is, do you want to paint for a living? Let me ask it this way: do you want to do something besides what you’re doing now for a living that’s creative? If you don’t think you can, you will not try. I’m not saying quit your job tomorrow and start doing something creative for a living if you’ve never done it before. What I’m saying is until you believe you can, you’re not going to take the classes you need and learn what you need to learn to start selling your stuff.
Here’s the best advice I’ve ever heard: write what you want to read, paint what you want to see, create what you want to create. Whether you make money at it or not, you’ve done what you love and it will fulfil you.
Stop Focusing On The Past
If you’ve listened to this podcast before, you probably heard me say that I believe our purpose is to use the skills we were created with. Whether your skill is empathy, love, singing, riding, driving, engineering, salesmanship, or whatever else lies inside of you. BUT,. For most of us, a parent, a teacher, friends, addiction, or any other number of things that crop up in our life have squashed these things. The problem is all those things happened in the past, which is where many of us like to spend our time. Your past got you to where you are today, but your future depends on you deciding to move forward.
You are special because there’s no one else like you. You’re also part of humanity which needs you to be who you are created to be. One of my favorite authors, Brene Brown, wrote this. “Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.”
Who wants to own their story when most of our stories are so messed up? Once we can get out of using our past and o hold us back, we can start loving ourselves and moving forward. Today,
Technology, Dopamine and Procrastination EP09
I wanted to do this podcast for a little while because I’m interested in the effects dopamine and our technology has on procrastination. For me, my go to isn’t my cell phone but watching YouTube videos through Fire TV. Which is where I found a lot of the information I’m going to share in this podcast.
If you don’t know, dopamine is a chemical found in the brain that, when activated, gives us a micro High. It is the chemical that is released every time your phone rings or dings and also whenever you snort cocaine and do other drugs. When you use drugs, the high is giga-times greater, but the repetition is the problem with technology. What neuroscientists have found is humans can become just as addicted to behavior as they can to drugs, food, gambling, and sex.
Dopamine is also known as the chemical of drive. It can drive us to do things like complete a project or email. However, It can also drive us to procrastinate and get stuck on projects. Dr. Daniel Z. Lieberman talks about dopamine as the chemical of Desire. It can drive us to accomplish things and receive the reward that seemed to be just beyond our reach. But once we have the thing that is just beyond our reach, the dopamine level drops off and that desire is gone.
Dopamine Over Stimulation
Think about slot machines. People love to play slot machines because of the intermittent rewards they give out. Your phone is like a portable slot machine because it gives you intermittent rewards, not in the form of money but of dings and beeps. Each time your phone dings and you look at it your brain releases dopamine and you feel rewarded.
Dopamine can drive us forward and give us the Boost to start a new business or change jobs or go after the person we believe we desire. We can also become over-saturated. When we’re always living at that peak and always looking for something more, we can become addicts with other substances like drugs and alcohol. When dopamine stops giving us the high that we want, we can seek something else to give us that high.
This is when we lose motivation. When we become overstimulated and dopamine turns off, we can sit on the couch, binge Netflix, scroll Facebook or TikTok, and answer the dings on our phone. We can overeat to our heart’s desire and still not experienced any pleasure. Think about a time when you realized you’ve been scrolling Facebook for 30 minutes or an hour and it just wasn’t fun anymore. When we’re over stimulated and our dopamine levels drop, we can become lethargic and procrastinate. We separate ourselves from other human beings and we can not care.
What it’s Like
For me, it goes like this. I’ve gotten up in the morning with a plan for the day only to have that plan slip away. I start watching YouTube or 1970s cop shows and end up playing video games. That’s dopamine. All I wanted to do was catch up on a couple of YouTube videos while I ate my oatmeal. The next thing I know it’s 3PM and my wife is getting home from work. YouTube’s recommended videos are there to get me to click on them. I don’t know what the reward system is behind the 1970s cop shows, but I watch those as much as I watch YouTube. Video games are the same way. It’s the micro rewards you get every time you kill an enemy upgrade an ability micro hits of dopamine.
What it all adds up to in the end is a wasted day and not getting the things done that I wanted to get done. No podcast has been written, edited, or uploaded for that day. The house isn’t clean, the laundry hasn’t been done, and dinner will not be ready. So how can we fix this procrastination and lack of motivation instead of binging Facebook,
Three Things You Can Take Responsibility For EP08
Taking responsibility isn’t easy. We all have things in our past and in our lives that we want to point to and say, “well look at this, if you had this you would be this way.” “If you were born into the family I was born in, or if you had this tragedy in your life, you would be this way.” Here’s my statement on that, if you are over 25 years of age you are responsible for your actions in the life that you’re living now. I say 25 years old because you do most of your maturing between 18 and 25.
For us to take charge of ourselves, we have to stop believing the false arguments that everything is tied to something else in our life or in our past. And while our past culminates in who we are today, it does not determine what we will be tomorrow. You have the ability to choose what you will do and what you will say starting right now. You have the ability to choose what you will think and what you will believe starting right now. It is up to you to make the choice to be who you choose to be and not be who you think other people want you to be.
Dr Wayne Dyer, in his book Your Erroneous Zones, says this,
Learning to take total charge of yourself will involve a whole new thinking process, one which may prove difficult because too many forces in our society conspire against individual responsibility. You must trust in your own ability to feel emotionally whatever you choose to feel at any time in your life.
Take Responsibility For Your Thoughts
When we begin to understand that everything we listen to, every episode we watch on television, and everything we read, influences the way we think about ourselves and about the world. If you think back to your childhood, to the songs you listened to as a teenager, you probably still remember those songs. I remember songs from when I was a child standing in the little Methodist Church I was brought up in, but I also remember the lyrics to every song on a Metallica Black Album.
And when we repeat these things in our head, they begin to take hold. Think about when you watch the news and you see what those people are doing. By those people, I mean anyone you disagree with. Think about how you feel, how anger rises and how you become because you can’t believe what those people are doing. Because, what you are feeling cements those beliefs in your head. It’s not necessarily the news that’s bad, it’s what you think or feel about the news the changes you as a person.
When you begin to take responsibility for what you read, watch, and listen to, you understand why the adage is so true.
Garbage In, Garbage Out!
Whatever we put into our heads is what controls our thoughts and our thoughts come out in our feelings in our talk and. So if you want to have better thoughts and think better about yourself and others, take control of what you put in.
Take Responsibility For Your Success
You know if you’ve listened to this podcast at all that I’m not talking about monetary success. I hope you understand, the success I want you to have is life success. Do what you love. Be the person you want to be. Find what you love to do and do it and you will have success. It’s never about the monetary reward for me. But that is for you to decide. The level of your achievements, how much you make, what relationships you have. Are all yours to decide.
In her wonderful book, do what you love the money will follow Marsha Sinetar writes,
Our personal “injunctions”—as psychiatrist Eric Berne termed those internalized commands that run our daily...
Defining Your Purpose EP07
When you are able to listen to your inner voice, Grab a sheet of paper or a notebook and start asking yourself some questions. Do I like what I’m doing now? If you like what you’re doing now, then what can you do to make what you’re doing now better for you? If you don’t like what you’re doing now, what do you like to do? What is something you did in the past or have always wanted to try that you believe you can do and make money at?
Your Values and Your Purpose?
What you value most drives what you are called to do. If you don’t know what your values are, I did a whole podcast a few weeks ago on finding your values. Defining our values will help us discover our purpose. If we are doing something that doesn’t align with our values, it’s going to drive us crazy as much as having the wrong job is.
My number one value is freedom, so if I’m in a job that has me tied down to a desk for 8 to 10 hours a day, I would go crazy. Which I’ve done before. So knowing your values can help you discover your purpose.
Where can you add value to others? Who needs what you offer? On this giant planet, with 7 billion other people, there has to be a group that fits your passion. We’re not in this just for ourselves. My coach reminds me often that what I have is a gift for others. If I really want to keep it, I have to give it away. And like Zig Ziglar said,
The more people you help get what they want, the more you will get what you want.Zig Ziglar
Set Up a Time Frame.
When do you want to be doing this part time? Full time? If you’re looking to do something and make money at it, what is the time frame that you want to do it in? Do you want to leave your current job? Having a specific goal of when you’re going to make the transition will motivate you to move forward. It will help drive you toward doing your passion. Set it up like any other goal and break it down into manageable time frames. What do you need to have accomplished in a month? What do you need to have accomplished in 6 months or a year?
When I went to school to be a coach, there were three types of people in my class. One’s who we’re full-time employees. There were people who were part-time employees and there were people like me who had been coaches for a while and were just getting certified. Everyone has a different time frame. Don’t overestimate what you can do in the short term and underestimate what you can do in the long-term. If you have a family that relies on your paycheck, you can’t just jump ship one day. Make a plan and stick to the plan.
Don’t Waste Today
No matter what you always have today. You have your health, you may or may not have a job, you have your abilities, so be grateful for what you have. Use what you have right now to move you towards your ultimate purpose. Today, you can be the person you want to become.
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If you’ve ever thought about coaching, we are accepting new clients and offering complimentary coaching sessions. You can read more HERE or sign up directly by clicking HERE.
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