Redemption Church Plano Texas Pastor Chris Fluitt
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- Religion & Spirituality
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A Jesus loving Non-Denominational Christian Church in Plano Tx
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The Promise – 3 – Partnership
https://youtu.be/BOXh5TaWoGM?si=0ZGiuRgvszTXEnDd
The Promise - 3 - Partnership
WelcomeGoal – Save future & current marriages… Bless your relationships with Godly wisdom.
Promise #1GOD is my ONE and MY SPOUSE is my TWO
Promise #2I Promise to always PURSUE my TWO.
Start with the prophetic word…
I take two steps forward, I take two steps back
We come together 'cause opposites attract
And you know it ain't fiction, just a natural fact
We come together 'cause opposites attract
-Paula Abdul
Opposites Attract - datingOpposites Attack - marriage
Differences EnhanceGod uses differences to DIVERSIFY.The enemy uses differences to DIVIDE.
Promise #3I promise our marriage will be about WE and not ME.
Genesis 2:24 (NIV) That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
‘echad (ekh-awd’); united, completely joined as one.
Not me and you – We! We not Me!
Sensitive about divorce… We do not judge you.Cannot change your past.Can change your future!
Jesus quotes Genesis 2:24 and reveals more truth.
Matthew 19:5-6 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
No longer 2, but 1.WE not ME.
WHAT GOD HAS JOINED TOGETHER… Do we believe this?
Get Abnormal – Normal is not working.-Divorce, adultery, open marriage, Living together unmarried
MARRIAGE is a COVENANT not a CONTRACT
A Contract is based on mutual DISTRUST.
Protect me from YOUR wrongdoing…
A Covenant is based on mutual COMMITMENT.
Contract mindset leads to divorce.
“Marriage is just a piece of paper.”
“Divorce settlement – what is mine and what is yours.”
This what Jesus taught?
6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
WE not ME!
Promise #3I promise our marriage will be about WE and not ME.
We are different.
Personalities
Temperaments
Strengths
Minds
Experiences
But God makes us 1.
A verse that some have used to abuse.
Ephesians 5:22-24 (NIV)
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.
Seems like a one way road.
I am the head… ME centered and not WE.
Add the previous verse.
Ephesians 5:21(NIV) Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Mutual Submission – WE.
Take advantage of your partner’s strengths. Submit to their wisdom.LISTEN TO EACHOTHER!
I submit to your choice. WE not ME.
What about headship?
Ephesians 5:22-24 (NIV)
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.
Husband is the head… Some have used that to…
Abuse
Control
Make every decision
Win every argument
Husband is the head… as what?
As Christ is the Head?
Is Christ abusive or controlling?
Christ is… loving, caring, serving, and submits to our needs. Christ is the best partner.
Husbands be like Christ!
Promise #3I promise our marriage will be about WE and not ME.
Contract is about mutual distrust…Covenant is about mutual commitment.
SO THANKFUL FOR SARAH.-I trust her.-She does not dominate our relationship.-She is so amazing – I want her to flourish – not dominate an... -
The Promise – 2 – Pursuit
https://youtu.be/VaOS7vaYopY?si=ul57gK5GRfAbCJrj
The Promise - 2 - Pursuit
WelcomeSave Marriages from Divorce.
Current & Future marriages.
Great relationship advice.
Promise #1 GOD is my ONE and MY SPOUSE is my TWO
We PURSUE what we don’t have.
Love is a pursuit.
Work hard to gain attention and affection.
-Saw each other every day and phone calls.-Stayed up all night talking.-Look your best. Be your best.-Special gifts.-Ask the big question.
We were pursuing one another. -hard work.
Can you be lazy and improve anything?
-House?-Job?-Fitness?-Relationship?
We cannot be lazy with our most important relationships.
Promise #2I Promise to always PURSUE my TWO.
This is going to be work, but it will save your marriage.
Marriages that are cold, distant, boring, lack spice & romance, bitter, angry, unhappy… STOPPED PURSUING EACH OTHER.
Everything is vying to be your priority.We must pursue our priority.
This is Biblical.
Genesis 2:24 (NIV) That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
dāḇaq - to cling, stick, stay close, cleave, keep close, stick to, stick with, follow closely, join to, overtake, catch
The word means to continually pursue with affection.
Do you dāḇaq? Continually pursue one another?
In Genesis 29, Jacob fell in love with Rachel. Her father, Laban, agreed to let Jacob marry Rachel if he worked 7 years.
Genesis 29:20 (NIV) So Jacob served seven years to get Rachel, but they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her.
Then it gets weird… Jacob goes in on his wedding night…
Gen 29:25 (NIV) When morning came, there was Leah! So Jacob said to Laban, “What is this you have done to me? I served you for Rachel, didn’t I? Why have you deceived me?”
Genesis 29:26-27 Laban replied, “It is not our custom here to give the younger daughter in marriage before the older one. 27 Finish this daughter’s bridal week; then we will give you the younger one also, in return for another seven years of work.”
Out of love for Rachel, Jacob continued to pursue her.
Jacob married Rachel and then worked 7 years for her.
BIG IDEA!
He worked for what he already had.
Not married – You are worth pursuing.
Dump whoever takes you for granted.
Avoid the relationship of convenience.
Be pursued and pursue.
The “I Do” and “I Should” Gap
Good intentions… but tired and busy.
#1 WHEN YOU THINK SOMETHING GOOD, SAY IT.
Say thank you – dinner, kindness, cleaning, mowing the lawn, picking up milk.
Pursue her with words of affection.Non-sexual affection.“I love you because…” You honor God, self-sacrificing, best friend.
Pursue him with word of affirmation.
He is becoming what you see in him!
Don’t tell him what’s he not. Tell him who you see him becoming.
YOUR WORDS BUILD HIM UP.Spiritually – took us to church, praying, worshipping, signing us up for CG, leading us.
She wants to know: Do you love me today?
He wants to know: Do you believe in me today?
#2 WHEN YOU THINK SOMETHING SPECIAL, DO IT.
…Come home early - go to the park - buy tickets - help with the kids - do the dishes – CREATE A MEMORY
Fill the car with gas, write a note, make the bed, watch their fave movie
DO SOMETHING YOUR SPOUSE LOVES.
#3 WHEN YOU WANT SOMETHING DIFFERENT, BE IT
Don’t gripe about what your spouse is not.
Continue to grow into who you are supposed to be.
You can’t change others.You can change yourself.
DO NOT control your spouse… pursue your spouse.
Promise #2I Promise to always PURSUE my TWO. -
The Promise – 1 – Priority
https://youtu.be/QQKMe-X4RvY?si=UBFRTWVk6LOX9_BY
The Promise - 1 - Priority
Welcome
Divorce
1st Marriage – 50%
2nd Marriage – 67%
3rd Marriage – 73%
40% of new marriages include a partner who is remarrying.
The divorce rate is going down?
No – the marriage rate is going down.
People are giving up on marriage and raising kids.
50%
Elevator 50% death – take the stairs.
Marriage is important.
-personal, culture
Marriage is possible.
Marriage is worth it.
Problem/Solution
Let’s save marriages. -Current & Future
Good for all Relationships The Promise
Marriage is a promiseAll relationships are built on trust.
4 Promises to save your marriage.
May 12 – PriorityMay 19 – PursuitMay 26 – PartnershipJune 2 – Purity
Priority
What does your priority list look like?
Spouse, kids, career, hobbies…
Phone, lifestyle, Netflix…
Friendships, Church, Work/Life balance
Everything is vying to be your priority.
You can only have 1 top priority.
All divorce = priority problem.
Who should be your priority?
Relationships need 4 thingsAcceptanceIdentitySecurityPurpose
How can you supply these 4 things?
You can’t.
God Can. God should be your top priority.
Promise - GOD is my ONE and MY SPOUSE is my TWO
Mark 12:30 (NIV) Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’
God gets ALL…
Transference - projecting your feelings, based on past experiences, onto someone else in the present.
Relationships need 4 thingsAcceptanceIdentitySecurityPurpose
Only God can provide these… we transfer the need to others who can’t provide.
DO NOT TRANSFER YOUR GOD NEEDS ON YOUR SPOUSE.
Promise - GOD is my ONE and MY SPOUSE is my TWO
Bold claim…God as #1 means… A better you.
Loving, forgiving, disciplined, brave..
Not ego driven… selfish
Anything else above your marriage destroys it…God as #1 saves your marriage.
Everything is vying to be your priority.
God is your 1. Spouse is your 2.
But if we aren’t careful
…kids.…job.…phone.
Promise - GOD is my ONE and MY SPOUSE is my TWO
Genesis 2 Adam had God but still needed something. We need each other.
Adam sees Eve… sees who he has been missing. Adam makes God & Eve the priority.
Genesis 2:24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
Protect your Priorities
Children are important—Not as important as marriage.
If you want to love your kids—Invest in your marriage.
Children are a temporary assignment.
Marriage is a lifetime commitment.
What priorities are your kids seeing in your life?
Want your children to succeed in marriage? Model it.
Promise - GOD is my ONE and MY SPOUSE is my TWO
What/who is your priority?
Make a move
Make God your ONE
-pray & worship now. Ask “how.”
-Make a plan. -read, pray, attend
Make your spouse TWO
-Forgive, new direction with God
-Make a plan -time, Intimacy, priority
TAKE IT SERIOUS – Come pray together -
Break Out – 5 – When You Are Carrying the Weight of the World – How to Exercise Power
https://youtu.be/on8QAaLRVEs?si=HIrtfSxUIZcYYTlb
Break Out 5 – When You are Carrying the Weight of the World – How to Exercise Power
Welcome
Break Out
Jesus broke out of a tomb… So can you.
There is a plan for freedom and a better life.
Week 1 – You need hope. Week 2 – You need to believe.Week 3 – You need a turn around called repentance.Week 4 – You need more than a new start – you need a new life. (Baptism)
Today – When You are Carrying the Weight of the World
Me – burdens & responsibility – feels too much.
-Multiple children almost died in my arms.-Kid in hospital 1 year.-Debt awakening. -At the table, people I love, bad decisions. -over 50% negative outcome -100% wrecks my heart
We know about carrying the weight of the world.
-$$$-Time and energy-Start business or career
-Relationship – “it’s over.”-Addiction fish-hooks.
God
Wouldn’t it be great if you could find a power source?
When You are Carrying the Weight of the World – How to exercise Power
Hands? - I need power.
We want an “Easy Fix” pill.
What we really need is to grow STRONGER.
Not an easier life – a stronger you.
-Your spouse.
-Drugs don’t become less enticing – You become disciplined, have mastery.
-Your job doesn’t easier (demotion) – You get BETTER.
Most of our prayers are about the external.Most of our actual needs are the internal.
Do not waste your breath praying that the external gets weaker.Pray and make the effort to grow stronger.
Isaiah 10:27 (KJV) …burden shall be taken away from off thy shoulder, and his yoke from off thy neck, and the yoke shall be destroyed because of the anointing.Seems like an external power…Isaiah 10:27 (NIV) burden will be lifted from your shoulders, their yoke from your neck; the yoke will be broken because you have grown so fat.
It is an internal power! Inward growth!
Outgrow the difficulty.
You have power.
-Time, Talent, Treasure
-Choice
Power in the natural…
God offers Supernatural Power
The movies… Journey to get power…External power: -The one ring to rule them all (LOTR) -The elder wand (HP) -6 Infinity stones (MCU)
Because the power is external:You can gain it… you can lose it.
God’s supernatural power does not work like this.
Ephesians 3:20 (NIV) Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us
A power beyond you, yet at work within you.
-Can’t buy this power.-No time, talent, treasure CAN GAIN IT.-No good deeds… scripture memory…
You can only RECEIVE this power from God.
How do you receive God’s power?
In Acts 2 – people realized they killed their only hope – Jesus.
They ask – WHAT CAN WE DO?
Acts 2:38 (NIV) Peter replied, “Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. 39 The promise is for you and your children and for all who are far off—for all whom the Lord our God will call.”
Receive the Holy Spirit!Promise – Repent, baptized, receive
Acts 1:8 (NIV) 8 But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”
Power to BE
Be my witness…Be a better dad…Be a stronger person…
Not an easy fix pill… A power to stand.A power that works internally – and changes externally.
Make a Move
I need power.
Choice – Time, Talent, Treasure
Pray - Decide
I need God’s power.
Repent, -
Break Out – 4 – When You Need a New Start – How to Live a New Life
https://youtu.be/W0_tIKXw_J0?si=Pc7Yu9yUhdHk_ecb
Break Out - 4 - When You Need a New Start – How to Live a New Life
Welcome
Break Out
Jesus broke out of a tomb… So can you.
There is a plan for freedom and a better life.
Week 1 – You need hope. Week 2 – You need to believe.Week 3 – You need to leave the dead end and TURN AROUND.
Today – When You Need a New Start
Me – I know what it is like to need a new start.Turn around moment – I am going to live different.
Healthy – something pulls me back to my unhealthy ways.
Better Dad/patient, loving – Angry/Serenity Now/Failure
We know what it is like to try and get a new start.
Discipline & Success – Get up early, read, productive… Stop broken habits - Start trusting - Spiritual growth -
My “New Starts” are getting old
Energy & Force…Brain power, Muscle power, will power…
We are surprised every time…
There are other forces at work
Natural forces – gravity, wind resistance, mass, weight, tension
It is not enough to hope, believe, and start again… There is a force at work that does not want change.
Sir Issac Newton's Third Law of Motion - for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.
Paul talks about this equal and opposite force… Romans 7:15.
15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.
23 but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. 24 What a wretched man I am!
There are other forces at work
This is important.To have the life you desire you must solve this problem.
Career
Education
Marriage
Health
Freedom
Faith
God has a lot to show us…When You Need a New Start – How to Live a New Life
We have tried enough new…
-diets-workout plans-self help books-life-hacks
We have had enough new starts…God offers a NEW LIFE.
2 Corinthians 5:17 (NIV) 17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!
Not a…
new start
turning over a new leaf
being slightly better
BUT A NEW CREATION
The Old Must Go
Old relationships
Old habits
Old thoughts
Old places
They must go… They are the force that is at work against the new.
They are the gravity pulling you back.
How do we Embrace the New?
Acts 2 review
“You killed Jesus.” - Peter
What do we do? – people
Acts 2:38 Peter replied, “Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins…
A Natural & Supernatural lesson.
Romans 6:4 4 We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.
Baptism is the burial of the OLD and the embrace of the NEW.
Natural & Supernatural lesson
#1 Bury the dead
-You don’t touch dead bodies. Don’t touch dead habits. Bury them!
#2 Go Public
-Tell people you trust.
-Embrace accountability.
-Makes it harder to go back.
#3 Name it!
-Baptism applies the name!
-Identity – Name it!
-Vision – Define and Articulate
-The vision does not belong to you.
-You belong to the vision.
#4 Rise (Next Week)
As long as the old and new are on stage in your life you will always pendulum back and forth.
Uninstall the pendulum. Give yourself to NEW.
Imagine climbing that ladder… -
Break Out – 3 – When There’s No Way Forward – How to Turn Around
https://youtu.be/uYQ7-GEMhIQ?si=8TBJz-yhjrBbNTTH
Break Out - 3 - When there’s No Way Forward – How to Turn Around
Welcome
Break Out
Jesus broke out of a tomb… So can you.
There is a plan for freedom.
Week 1 - When your hope dies.. how to have hope again. Week 2 - When your faith croaked – How to believe again
Today – When there’s no way forward – How to Turn Around
Dead End
Me
I know what it is like to come face to face with a dead end.
Career & Education -Job that I enjoyed… no promotion, raise, Relationships -No future.Myself -Make the same mistakes – no growth
Staring at the dead end does not progress your life.
We know dead ends that go nowhere…
Habits – Food, drugs, social mediaThoughtsLifestyle - $$, timeRelationships – No commitment, growthReligion – just a tradition – leads nowhere
People spend too long…
staring at their dead end.
Committed to their dead end.
trying to press through a dead end.
We sink money, time, energy into something that will never work.
Stop…
spending energy on what is not working.
Relationships
pouring life into dead things.
Choosing job over family - fired
Wasting time at the dead end.
Time is precious.
Be in the right place. (no cemeteries)Do the right thing.
Sometimes things get worse… Why God?…”Because you are not supposed to be here.”
…”You are supposed to learn something here.”
…”Watch me.” (miracle – red sea)
When there’s no way forward – How to Turn Around
Imagine – Bad place. Ruined everything.
You caused the dead end.
You did it…
Divorce
Debt – car repossessed
Relationship destroyed
Dead end job – never applied yourself
Far from God
Dead End Bible story… Turn to Acts 2
-Holy Spirit power…
-People notice. Ask questions.
-Peter tell them about Jesus.
Then Peter told them…
Acts 2:36 (NIV) “Therefore let all Israel be assured of this: God has made this Jesus, whom you crucified, both Lord and Messiah.”
YOU DID IT! Dead End.
Acts 2:37 (NIV) When the people heard this, they were cut to the heart and said to Peter and the other apostles, “Brothers, what shall we do?”
Dead End Moment – No Hope.
Acts 2:38 (NIV) Peter replied, “Repent…
Peter tells people who are caught at the dead end to do one thing first…
Repent (metanoeō) – CHANGE your mind, TURN from sin and toward God
The hope for dead end people is CHANGE.Change mind…Change action…Change direction…Change your heart…
The only way out of a dead end is to change.
Hate change? I get it…I hate dead ends enough to change.
The people in Acts 2 were thankful…3000 people changed that day.
“But I don’t have a dead end?”
O really…FearSadnessAngerLonelyWhy isn’t there LIFE flowing in every part of your life?
Call to action
What is your dead end?
STOP
spending energy on what is not working.
pouring life into dead things.
Wasting time at the dead end.
START
New thoughts
New Direction
New Actions
Repent. Need help? Come to the front.