Rhyme and Reason Tony Funderburk

He built a small log cabin on the bank of a small creek, in Kansas, in the early 1830s. Then, the U.S. government built some other lodges in the area. And one of those lodges was for Tonganoxie.

But who in the world was Tonganoxie? And why does it matter?

Well, I’ll answer both those questions. But you should know ahead of time that you might not be satisfied with my answers. If you’re OK with that, read on.

Tonganoxie was an Indian (not the kind from India) from the Delaware tribe. His real name was more like Tonqua-Oxie. But you know how white folks are. They just can’t leave out their privilege and supremacy. So, Tonqua-Oxie transformed into Tonganoxie. And I gotta say, that rolls off the tongue much more easily.

Anyway…

Tonga man was a member of the Turkey Clan. And from what I’ve learned about him, he seemed to be a pretty good guy. He lived at that lodge the U.S. government built. And he operated it as a stage stop and inn. Evidently U.S. Mail arrived and passed through the lodge. And apparently he was given the title of first Postmaster.

Mr. Noxie was also married. And he and his wife had his sister and his sister’s children live with them.

I read a short account of how Tonganoxie was known as a peaceful and kind man. The story goes that he “sheltered JWH Golden, who with two friends was chased from Leavenworth by Border Ruffians. All three were shot less than a half-mile north of Tonganoxie’s lodge. One died and two played dead long enough for the Ruffians to leave. Mr. Golden lived for several years and told how he was aided by Tonganoxie.

And Tonganoxie left that area in 1863.

According to the short article I read, he went to live with a nephew (on allotted land) in the Bonner Springs area. And the area Tonganoxie left was named after him. And, later, Tonganoxie died in southern Kansas while traveling to Oklahoma.

OK, there’s the answer to who in the world he was. Now, as to why it matters.

Well, you might’ve heard that Kansas is one of those states with more than its fair share of tornadoes. But you might not have heard of the “Tonganoxie Split.” It’s supposedly “a phenomenon where storms and tornadoes coming across Kansas split north and south or dissipate as they reach Tonganoxie.” And that tends to ensure that the Kansas City area is saved from the worst effects of that extreme weather.

Now, would you believe that National Weather Service meteorologists don’t believe the Tonganoxie Split is a real thing? I know. It’s crazy to think. But at least a couple of them don’t. In fact, one of them was quoted as saying, “It’s not been seen scientifically to have any real impact, and there are storms that go over there all the time.”

And the other one explained that people believe cities are less likely to be hit by tornadoes. But he said this is “because cities just take up less land than rural areas.” Yeah, again, more crazy talk. So, I guess when it comes down to it, you just have to pick what you’re gonna believe. So-called “urban legends and myths?” Or so-called “science?”

And sometimes towns and people just get caught in the middle.

A Lot In Store

When you’re really in the middle

And you’re feeling like a riddle,

And you start to get a little bit down…

Take your eyes off all your troubles.

Let ’em float away like bubbles.

When they pop, then I bet you can’t frown.

When you think your life is rotten…

All the good things have been gotten,

And the world’s takin’ more than it gives…

Start to laugh and start to winkin’.

You can stop that stinkin’ thinkin’.

That’s the way that a happy kid lives.

Yeah, your face might get all flappy

When I was a kid, I’d almost always be the first one to get up. And I’d sneak into the kitchen and pour myself a bowl of cereal. Not every day was a cereal day. Because moms knew growing kids need a variety of nutrients. But a bowl (or two) of that tasty goodness could take you all the way to lunch. Of course, that was back before cereal (and just about all other food) was so manipulated with additives and preservatives. But that’s a whole ‘nother rabbit hole.

Anyway…

Even as a kid I’d savor my cereal day alone time.

And there only the sound of my own crunching on Cheerios, or corn flakes, or whatever was available. And I’d stare out the window. Because I loved to watch the birds and squirrels as they gathered up and ate their food. There was so much hustle and bustle right out in the front yard. But it was also so peaceful and quiet.

Back then, kids weren’t allowed to have coffee. At least not in our household. But  I didn’t mind. Because that “grownup” beverage tasted awful to me. And I never needed that caffeine boost to wake up.

These days the first thing I do, in the morning, is get a drink of water from my ProPur (now Pro One) gravity filter. Then, I pour some more of that wonderful water (with fluoride filtered out and minerals left in) for my coffee. And I enjoy the aroma as the brewing begins. That first cup, with a bit of honey and cream or butter, wakes up the first layer of brain cells where my imagination lives. And as those cells roam around freely inside my head, groups of words start to form.

And on a Saturday morning, 11 years ago, this group of words formed.

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

Saturday morning breakfast cereal

Floating in a big, blue bowl…

Oaty oat circles spinning in spoonfuls

Milk dripping out of control.

Saturday morning sunshine prisms

Sparkle on a glass of juice,

Bouncing like BB’s clicking on concrete

Luminous lights let loose.

Saturday morning cartoon silliness

Playing on the TV screen…

Bozos and birdbrains, rockets and robots

Every week the same routine.

Saturday morning breakfast cereal

Wakin’ up a sleepyhead…

Saturday morning breakfast cereal

The reason to get out of bed.

© 2013

And that’s just one of about 110 pages of rhymes and drawings you’ll find in my book:  “Ginormous Humongous Tremendous Book of Poems and Short Bedtime Stories For Kids“

But I have to warn you, it might be the most expensive coloring and drawing book of poems and short stories you’ve ever seen. Because there’s more delight packed into this one book than you’re likely to see in another book anywhere. Well, at least until my next one comes out. Anyway…here’s your link, if you dare…

(https://www.amazon.com/Ginormous-Humongous-Tremendous-Bedtime-Stories/dp/1661314422)

Stay tuned,

Most of us humans go on our merry way, every day. And most of us never give a second thought to what happens next. But I don’t mean in the next minute or hour. And not even the next day, week, or month.

Nope. Think much further ahead.

We’re on our merry way to somewhere else after this life.

So, get out the roadmap, plot out a destination, and work out how you’ll get there. Thankfully you have access to incredible devices and apps to almost hold your hand and get you there safely. Except for that small three-word phrase at the end of the previous subhead. “After this life.”

No paper or digital roadmap or device or app can help you reach that destination. Well, I guess, in a way, your devices and other distractions can be part of the reason you don’t enjoy the stop at the end of your journey. But where you end up, after your body expires, is based on a couple of questions you could ask yourself.

Is everything there is, in this universe, everything there is?

And…

Do I know all there is to know about everything there is?

Those are important questions because they can help you take the focus off you and put it on origin options. And those are crucial to consider because, according to a lot of documented, reliable data, Heaven and hell appear to be real.

Now, I know, with all the so-called “AI-assisted graphics” and so-called “deep fake” media, it might be tempting to believe you can never truly know what’s real anymore. But I urge you not to give in to that temptation. Because the aforementioned documented, reliable data has been tested for thousands of years. And it holds up under strict scrutiny.

So, I’ll just leave you with those couple of questions to ponder. And you can decide whether or not to ask and answer them. Because, after all, you ARE a person with your own will. Every one of us is as we go on…

Our Merry Way

I want you to come with me

Down in the deep, blue sea

Where a sea horse grins and spins its fins

And says we can swim for free.

We won’t have to stop for air

The whole time we’re under there.

We can breathe like fish if we make a wish.

It’s a make-believe we’ll share.

So tell me, what do you say?

Would you like to go today?

We can tell our tales, how we swam with whales

And then we went our merry way.

© 2017

For some goodies that aren’t a figment of your imagination, Jump on the Rhyme and Reason Bandwagon today.

Stay tuned,

Hey, hey, it’s May and May Day. So, what do you say? I say hey! Let’s talk about the May birthstone. And in case you didn’t already know, it’s the beautiful emerald.

Emerald for a May birthstone makes sense when you learn more about it.

Because the emerald is considered a symbol of rebirth. And superstitious people believe it has the power to grant the owner foresight, good fortune, and youth. Side note: Elizabeth Taylor owned an emerald pendant that sold for $6.5 million in 2011. So, it apparently was quite the specimen. But Liz still got old and died. Weird, right?

Anyway…

Let’s get back to more practical reasons why an emerald makes a great May birthstone. First, I read how the word emerald comes from the Greek word “smaragdus.” And that translates into green. So, it makes sense that a green gem would be appropriate for the time of year when everything blooms and leaves turn to green.

And second, a polished emerald sparkles like dew on a verdant grass lawn. And while I’m waxing poetic, a couple of years ago I wrote this rhyme that fits nicely into this time of year:

Emerald Embrace

I sat upon an emerald.

The green glow glazed my eyes.

And I beheld the art of God,

His brushstrokes in the skies.

The neon shone through bright chartreuse,

And pine and malachite,

And all the way into my heart

That still and liquid night.

I know, for God, the painting was

A glimpse of what will be,

In Heaven’s emerald embrace,

With Him eternally.   © 2022

So, Happy May to you. And Happy May birthday. Oh, and if your kid’s birthday is this month, you should get them the Kiddin’ Around collection of songs. I don’t recall any references to emeralds. But one of the songs is called “Green Monkey.” The color green comes up quite a bit in the lyrics, and it’s a fun, springy tune.

See and listen to a video demo of the songs in the collection here: (https://youtu.be/dTZTtsyZQdk)

And download all 10 songs for $10 at this link: https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=L6MAH2QKHU5J8

Stay tuned,

Being a parent, especially one with a baby or young child, can be isolating.

That was a headline that caught my eye this morning. And maybe it’s just me (I doubt it), but that kind of parent seems like the selfish type.

But the article included some reasons why being a parent can be isolating.

Now, hold on to your hat. Because there are some terrifying things parents do that bring on this problem:



be sure bills are paid

feed the kids

navigate nap times and illnesses

jam-packed extracurricular schedules and homework

clean the house



And the article said a survey showed how, due to the demands of parenthood, 66% of the respondents feel isolated, lonely, and “burned out by their responsibilities as a parent.” And “38% of respondents said they don’t have anyone to support them in their parenting role.”

The survey reveals a lot of wimpy parents.

Now, my wife and I didn’t experience the blessing of kids. So, on one level, I’m disqualified to pass judgment on parents who DID have kids. But here’s the thing. Stats, from all kinds of sources, say the average American household, in recent years, has about three people. So, for households with kids that means either 2 parents and a kid or 2 kids and a parent.

Any way you look at it, that’s not a lot. So, why all the “overwhelming feeling of exhaustion,” as described by an associate clinical professor at The Ohio State University College of Nursing. She said it like this:

“In this specific role of being a parent, it’s that ability to never really feel like you’re above water. And then that causes other things to start happening. Like feeling more detached from your children and less like you’re a good parent. Loneliness can really exacerbate a lot of those feelings.”

When I was a kid, WAY back in the 20th century, lots of households included more than one kid. In fact, many kids I grew up with came from families with 4 or 5 kids. And that was the case in both households I grew up in.

And even after I flew the coop I never heard my parents mention how burned out and isolated they felt during their full-time parenting years. It wasn’t because they never dealt with any serious issues. Every family has those. No, I believe selfishness has increased exponentially in recent years. Especially since “things” are easy and relationships aren’t.

I hope you’re not a parent who’s feeling detached from your kids.

Because kids need parents (and grandparents, aunts, and uncles) who will help them transition into confident, responsible adults. So, my recommendation is to take the focus off self and put it on serving others. Just as the Navy commercials used to say, “It’s not just a job. It’s an adventure.”

And the best gift you give kids is the knowledge of what it takes to live forever. That’s when you store up your treasures in Heaven where no bank, no foreign power, and no tyrannical government can ever take the away from you.

One of the next best gifts you can give kids is a world of imagination they can find in words and music. And it just so happens I know where you can get some mighty fun words and music. In my “Kiddin’ Around” Collection. See and listen to a video demo of the songs here: (https://youtu.be/dTZTtsyZQdk)

And download all 10 songs for $10 at this link: https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=L6MAH2QKHU5J8

Stay tuned,

Slim and None. Those are the probable answers to the question. But, naturally, that begs the question. And at least one version of the question would be, “What are the odds that everything happens for a reason?” And I’d say chances are also slim and none that people who believe everything happens for a reason would agree with Jesus on that.

Uh-oh. I done went and done it that time. So, before I move on, I’d like to know if you agree with this:

Chances are slim and/or none that God didn’t author the Bible.

My option, on that statement, is NONE. But I’ll play the Lord’s advocate (because I prefer never to advocate for the devil) and assume not everyone agrees with me.

If that’s you, bear with me as I blast out some info that maybe you haven’t considered before. And this doesn’t come from some marketer. It’s not from a metaphysicalized so-called “pastor” or “minister.” This word, that affirms accidental circumstances, comes right out of the Bible in at least three different places. Actually four places. And maybe even five. But I don’t want you to start with the first place it’s found in case you’re the type who’s easily confused.

So. Are you ready for the affirmation word? Are you sure? Because this gets kinda complicated and it triggers people.

OK, if you’re still reading, it means your mind is fortified and you’re ready to hear some truth.

So, here’s the word. Chance.

Bam! Oh yeah, that word IS in the Bible. Four times when you do a search in the New King James version. And are you ready for the high octane Spirit chaser? One of the times the word “chance” is used, it’s in RED. Bam again! (for the initiated, red letters mean those words were spoken by Jesus)

Anyway…

The reason I brought it up is because I see, literally every day, Christians debating whether or not everything happens because God ordained everything. And anyone who says He does has NOT yet comprehended the book He wrote. Because He’s infinitely creative (meaning His creative abilities have no end). And He’s infinitely brilliant (meaning He knows how to create worlds and beings that don’t require Him for day-to-day operations.

So, that means God designed you to be able to think for yourself. And decide for yourself.

But THAT is why there is so much evil and horror in the world.

Because there seems to be no depth of depravity that human beings aren’t willing to go. People have done things to each other so horribly wicked that it never entered God’s mind they would do them.

Sure, God knows everything knowable. And everything He wants to know. But do you think for a moment, that God, for eternity past, had any thoughts of burning children on altars to sacrifice them to Baal? No, that’s not His nature. It’s ours.

OK, I just had to get that out there for your consideration. And I know chances are slim that everyone will agree with me. But I also know there’s a chance somebody’s mind could be changed. And that notion motivates me to share the info. Here’s a little outro rhyme of chance…

Maybe. Maybe not.

Will the sun rise in the morning?

Will the temperature be hot?

And will skies be blue and sunny?

Well, maybe…maybe not.

Will the songbirds all be singing?

Will the breezes blow a lot?

And will leaves lift up their laughter?

Well, maybe…maybe not.

Will some words of wisdom visit?

Will the books all have a plot?

And will we read some happy stories?

Well, maybe…maybe not.

Will the world go on forever?

Will the getting all be got?

And will we all be nice to others?