Spooning with Spoonies

Noa Porten
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Noa is a 20 something Spoonie trying to make sense of life with chronic illness, especially the daunting world of dating & relationships. When Google failed to answer questions about dating with chronic illness, Noa turned to the amazing chronic illness community to hear their stories. Each episode, Noa chats with other Spoonies and relationship experts about communication, vulnerability, caregiving, self love, and more! Spooning with Spoonies is a community space aimed at normalizing and changing the narrative around dating and relationships with chronic illness.

  1. 04/27/2021

    14. Writing & Portraying Chronically Ill Love Stories in Theatre | Ali Hardy

    What’s a chronic illness storyline you wish was shown more in the arts or on TV? The confident chronically ill teen who’s dating? The nurse who just happens to have a picc line and a chronic illness? In this episode Noa chats with Ali Hardy, the co founder of Reckless Theatrics, a theatre collective made up of chronically ill artists with a mission of inclusion, intersectionality, and using art for social justice. Noa and Ali discuss Reckless Theatrics upcoming play “Fail Risk”, about a couple finding their way when one partner is sick, writing and portraying authentic chronically ill love stories, what it means to create an inclusive theatre space, and storylines they’d like to see more of in theatre and the media. This episode wraps up season 1 of Spooning with Spoonies!!! Thank you so much for your support and for coming on this journey! Quote: “I also want to see someone with a picc line. or a port, or a feeding tube or something like that, let's normalize it. Lets start showing this because there are people who really do have that stuff and are out running businesses and being parents and everything else. And I want to see those brought into the arts.” - Ali Transcript: https://otter.ai/u/x5KHqIPia4hCZQfmpdW6hiIElhE Links: Spooning with Spoonies IG: https://www.instagram.com/spooningwithspooniespod/ Reckless Theatrics IG: https://www.instagram.com/recklessthtr/ Reckless Theatrics Website: http://recklesstheatrics.com/

    23 min

  2. 04/13/2021

    13. Closing the Communication Gap with LCSW Kristine Hoestermann

    People are not mind readers... today’s episode explores communication between partners throughout the chronic illness journey and is full of tips on ways to reconnect when your normal shifts. Kristine Hoestermann is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, and the CEO of RARE, a clothing brand raising awareness for rare diseases. Kristine, who lives with EDS , POTS, and Autoimmune Small Fiber Neuropathy Secondary to Unknown Connective Tissue Disease, first became ill towards the beginning of her relationship. Kristine shares what it was like to come out at the same time as becoming ill, the communication workbook that brought her and her wife back together, the importance of making space for reflection before response, and her and her wife’s “bachelor style” intentional date nights! Quote: “Both of our lives are now different. We're both different people. And it's not a matter of love or anything like that. It was a matter of us finding a way to communicate what we were trying to say” - Kristine. Episode Transcript: https://otter.ai/u/Jy-FKS10mCwlwLX9NGDmxkNBriA Links: Spooning with Spoonies IG: https://www.instagram.com/spooningwithspooniespod/ Rare IG: https://www.instagram.com/findyourrare/ Shop Rare: www.findyourrare.com Because We Are Strong Podcast: www.bwspod.com

    27 min

  3. 03/30/2021

    12. Pregnancy, Motherhood, & Marriage with IBD | Melodie N Blackwell

    What would parenthood with chronic illness look like? For Melodie N. Blackwell, wife to a cancer fighter, mom of 2, serial entrepreneur, health advocate, & founder of Color of Crohn's and Chronic Illness Inc, parenthood with Crohn's disease looks like: playing action figures from bed, navigating pregnancy and miscarriage, including the kids in the conversation about chronic illness, teaching acceptance, disability pride and compassion through leading by example, and finding kid free, pain lowering ways to connect as a couple. Throughout it all, Melodie emphasizes that being a parent is hard with or without chronic illness and chronically ill parents or people wanting to be parents are no lesser and no less equipped! “If you really feel like you would like to be a parent. Don’t disqualify yourself. Just because you’re battling some challenges that might not present for others”- Melodie N. Blackwell Episode Transcript: https://otter.ai/u/j5_39W7nn-I2jFg9Hq_MywlR4CM Links: Pod IG: @spooningwithspooniespod Melodie’s IG: @melodienblackwell COCCI IG: @colorofcci COCCI:https://www.cocci.org/?fbclid=IwAR3BA42MscfqLrlY_QE4p-YikROFycBefwElPfWIstaEOafiBZ6gp9w2Zu4 Flex: Reinventing Work for A Smarter Happier Life by Annie Aurbach (mentioned at the beginning of the episode): https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/flex-annie-auerbach/1137264351

    41 min

  4. 03/16/2021

    11. Asking for What you Need Amidst Mold & Lyme Disease | Lauren Keller

    “All you can do is ask for what you need , and if the response isn’t what you had hoped for, that’s fine too because you still get information from it”- Lauren Keller In this episode Noa chats with Lauren Keller, a chronic illness and detox expert NP who was diagnosed with chronic neurological Lyme Disease and Mold Toxicity, among other chronic illnesses, around 8 years ago, and is now on a quest to help patients find their way to wellness in her clinic Two Purple Carrots. This episode was recorded a year ago and Noa asks Lauren some of the deep questions that made her want to start this podcast in the first place like how do you ask for what you need, can millennials meet anywhere other than dating apps, what do you do when you’re living with your partner and you find mold in your apartment! Lauren shares her journey from heartbreak to love and most importantly, self acceptance through chronic illness. From getting diagnosed with Lyme disease whilst in a serious relationship, to healing from heartbreak, to entering a new serious relationship after an unexpected Tinder date, and then navigating mold and moving as a couple, Lauren emphasizes the most important lesson she learned was how to communicate and ask for what she needed. *This episode was recorded in March of 2020 Transcript: https://otter.ai/u/qK2vj81FcPXiG_XHDcN8scJbw5U Links: Pod IG: @spooningwithspooniespod Lauren’s Insta: @twopurplecarrots Two Purple Carrot’s Website: http://www.twopurplecarrots.com/

    44 min

  5. 03/02/2021

    10. Redefining Masculinity in Relationships | Ijmal Haider

    “Being a man is just being comfortable in exactly who you are.” -Ijmal Haider What does being a man really mean? Today Ijmal Haider, a man living with Ulcerative Colitis, wears his heart on his sleeve proving that there doesn't have to be a defined answer to this question. Every person gets to decide for themselves what or who they like, how deeply they connect and communicate with their partner and how much pain they outwardly display, even if this strays from traditional societal prescribed gender behaviors. Ijmal an IBD + mental health blogger and advocate, and the founder and host of Hidden Spoons, shares how he has used vulnerability to break down toxic masculinity in his own life and in his relationships, making him able to communicate openly with his partner about his mental health and chronic illness. Ijmal and Noa chat about gender, sexuality, relationship roles, vulnerability, therapy, and of course a funny IBD dating story! Episode Transcript: https://otter.ai/u/6-SitIi2k2x7XuY_JFi4EHZXCFA  Links: Pod IG: @spooningwithspooniespod Ijmal IG: @raziblog Hidden Spoons IG: @hidden.spoons Listen to Hidden Spoons: https://open.spotify.com/show/3P0bwsPdwOc8c8BXLhnC5B?si=OfAe_JniTdeDDML6SxjrbA The Mask you Live In: http://therepresentationproject.org/film/the-mask-you-live-in-film/

    39 min

  6. 02/16/2021

    9. Helpful Humor for Dating w/ Chronic Illness | Caroline Rock

    “That lightning the mood can be so so valuable when you’re dealing with this really heavy depressing life long incurable illness that you’re carrying around with you”- Caroline Rock Laughter is the best medicine right? From explaining your pills and sporadic food allergies on dates, to navigating poop anxiety during intimate moments, to keeping the romance alive without “traditional” spontaneity, humor can be a great way to diffuse the tension of chronic illness especially when dating! In this episode Noa Interviews Caroline Rock, a University of Texas School of Design grad working at Nokia software and living with Ulcerative Colitis and OCD, who is passionate about bringing awareness to chronic illness on her IG and Youtube Channel “Caroline Rock”. This episode is full of laughs as Caroline shares her experiences dating casually with a chronic illness, funny dating stories, and the joys and challenges of being in a committed relationship.  *This episode was recorded in the summer of 2020 Transcript coming soon! Links: Pod IG: @spooningwithspooniespod Caroline IG: @hi_caroline_rock Caroline’s Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLf9A1hVelTDV8znv8JpRqg

    49 min

  7. 02/02/2021

    8. The Intimacy of Caregiving Relationships | Jessi Smith

    “Relationships that involve caregiving, require a type of intimacy that a lot of relationships between able bodied people don’t ever have”-Jessi Smith  You don’t often see relationships between disabled/chronically ill and able bodied people portrayed positively or even shown at all in the media. You don’t see the intimacy that comes with caregiving, the teamwork, the fun and silly moments, the strength of the bond between two people facing challenges together, and, what may surprise some, the normalcy!  In today’s episode Jessi Smith a disabled, queer, non-binary, writer, activist, musician, composer, performer and the advocate behind @disablednotdefeated on IG, shares their love story with their husband Elliot. From the not so subtle way their husband asked them out, teaching Noa the art of picking someone up at a coffee shop, to saving spoons to create intentional moments during their wedding, to finding moments of joy together today, and to how Jessi and their partner Elliott see chronic illness and the subsequent challenges as growth opportunities for their relationship.  Jessi chats with Noa about the fun and funny aspects of caregiving like leg shaving and chair transfers, what a typical date night looks like for them, and their attitude and approach towards intimacy with chronic illness. Most importantly, Jessi and Noa talk about the importance of being loved with, not despite chronic illness and shifting/fighting ableist mindsets and narratives telling chronically ill people that they are burdensome and are “lucky” to be in a relationship and be loved.  **CW: This episode contains mention of sex trafficking and abuse**  Transcript coming soon! Links:  -Pod IG: @spooningwithspooniespod  -Jessi’s IG: @disablednotdefeated  -John Gottman reference: https://armchairexpertpod.com/pods/john-gottman

    1 hr

  8. 01/19/2021

    7. First Date Fashion & Other Statements w/ Disability Fashion Designer | Keisha Greaves

    You’re using your carefully allotted spoons to get ready for a first date. You survey your closet. Jeans or bloatproof joggers, which do you go for? In today’s episode, Keisha Greaves, a disability fashion designer, podcaster, motivational speaker, and founder of Girls Chronically Rock, an inspired, and soon to be adaptive, fashion line celebrating Muscular Dystrophy and other chronic illnesses, answers the hard hitting questions. How do your clothes affect how you feel on first dates? Why is adaptive fashion important? And what statements should your shirts be making other than advertising bands you’ve never heard of? Tune in to hear Keisha & Noa discuss GCR's black disabled lives matter line and the importance of intersectionality within the disability community. Listen as Keisha, who lives with Limb Girdle Muscular Dystrophy, shares how she has navigated dating with a progressive disease: from finding adaptive shirts that give her independence, to her feelings about having personal care attendants come to dates with her, to making asking for help on dates flirty.  Transcript: https://otter.ai/u/3WEEqXoG-SrVzMnrE3tjpKBno3k  Links:  Pod IG: @spooningwithspooniespod  Keisha’s IG: @girlschronically_rock  Shop Girls Chronically Rock: https://girlschronicallyrock.com/collections  Key Quotes from Keisha:   “we just want to look fashionable and of course fabulous. But we just want to have certain functions on our clothing that make us get dressed easier and not make us feel like we just finished running the Boston marathon”  “Take your time, feel them out, feel the energy”

    41 min
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Trailer

4.6
out of 5
18 Ratings

About

Noa is a 20 something Spoonie trying to make sense of life with chronic illness, especially the daunting world of dating & relationships. When Google failed to answer questions about dating with chronic illness, Noa turned to the amazing chronic illness community to hear their stories. Each episode, Noa chats with other Spoonies and relationship experts about communication, vulnerability, caregiving, self love, and more! Spooning with Spoonies is a community space aimed at normalizing and changing the narrative around dating and relationships with chronic illness.

Information

  • Creator
    Noa Porten
  • Years Active
    2020 - 2021
  • Episodes
    16
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Noa Porten
  • Show Website
    Spooning with Spoonies