58. The 2nd Pillar of a Thriving Man ~ INTIMACY ~ w/ Silvy Khoucasian (My Intimate Partner‪)‬ Men, This Way

What is intimacy … really?

Can you experience intimacy without another person actually present? (hint: yes!)

Why do so many men (women, too!) struggle with sustaining intimacy?



In this episode, my very special guest and I dive into these questions and more for useful insights to make a meaningful difference in your life … my very special guest is … Silvy Khoucasian! … my first lady guest ever! … 

Why did I invite Silvy onto this podcast that has heretofore been exclusively and intentionally a conversation amongst men seeking wisdom? Well, first reason, she’s brilliant and she’s bad-ass … and I’ll share more about that in a moment, but first I’ll share the second reason, she is also MY LADY. My intimate life partner of 5 years.

For this episode, I’m diving into my 2nd Pillar of a Thriving Man: Intimacy … recall from the last episode when I introduced my 5 Pillars of a Thriving Man: Purpose. Intimacy. Family. Brotherhood. Spirit. … Who better to invite on to talk about the pillar of Intimacy than the very exquisite woman I am in intimate relationship with now and for the last 5 years.

One of the key distinctions we’ll talk about is the difference between intimacy with self, and intimacy with another. Because this pillar, intimacy, is not something you need a partner to help you fulfill and live fully. Absolutely not! I say Intimacy begins with know thyself. In other words, learn to be intimate with self first as a foundation for intimacy with another.

This idea of “know thyself” was the basis of so much of my personal programming from a very young age, particularly given the hyper-individualistic, self-improvement spirituality culture I was immersed in throughout my youth and well into my late 30s. A culture largely responsible for me learning how to create my best life and all that … but it also made intimate relationship with another human being difficult. And when I met Silvy the limitations of my hyper-individualism came crashing down on top of me.

For Silvy came from a more traditional non-western family culture in which relational intimacy with the members of your family and community was primary, and intimacy with self, knowing thyself and living thy truth, was hardly a concept encouraged or even talked about. And our two cultures clashed at the beginning of our relationship, and even still today sometimes clash. But that is exactly what we both needed and continue to need. But we fought hard against this difference between us for a while, and it almost cost us our relationship.

So, we talk about all that and more as we invite you into our love story, and our adventure in intimacy both with ourselves and each other … and it’s my hope that by the end of this episode you’ll understand more why INTIMACY is the 2nd pillar of a thriving man. 

Back to her being a bad-ass … Silvy in her own right has been one of the early leaders of the Instagram therapist community. Though she is still working towards her full therapist licensure, Silvy is already a world renowned and highly sought after expert on the subject of healthy relationships and how to create and maintain them. 

She’s been interviewed by Vogue Magazine, Playboy Magazine, Allure Magazine, and featured by Buzzfeed and countless other worldwide media.

And I’m really excited for our first conversation together on Men, This Way. 

But before we dive in. 

Men, remember, I’m offering just 10 men the opportunity to join me for the adventure of a lifetime throughout all of 2021. I’ve already had 2 men claim their spots for ELEVATE 2021, which means only 8 remain as of the time of this recording – end November 2020. 

ELEVATE 2021: a year-long coaching adventure for men committed to thriving.

I invite you on this year-long journey with me to make 2021 extraordinary.