Manhood, Purpose, Masculinity, Intimacy … Love? Join Bryan Reeves, Air Force Captain turned renowned Life Coach, on the search for wise, powerful, heart-connected men who can show us the essentials for living a truly masterful life as Men.
Don’t Take Sides (Do Take a Position) (056)
Are you struggling with the growing divisions in our current world?
Are you afraid things might get worse before they get better?
Did you know that a descent into darkness, a terrifying uncertainty, is essential for human transformation?
In this episode, I explore how our current ego-centric model of society almost guarantees the kinds of divisions and even increasing violence we’re seeing more and more of at the moment. I’ll share with you my own struggles around a conversation with a close friend who’s been leaning in the direction of supporting Trump for another term of presidency. If you’re a Trump supporter, I implore you to continue listening, because although I don’t support Trump for president, I am not against him, or against you. I’m not on any side that is not also ultimately on your side, too. What I mean is, just because I’m taking a position doesn’t mean I’m taking a side.
I think this is a critical distinction for our world right now, and in this episode I’ll explore how it is possible to take a position without taking sides. And if we’re going to bridge our differences without violence, which only intends to eradicate threats, not bridge differences, well, then we need to learn how to take different positions on things without taking opposite sides.
I’m excited for this episode, and it’s a vulnerable one for me, as I’m taking you to the edge of my own practice and understanding around what’s happening in the world today, and how I’m consciously choosing to show up in it. I’ll also share with you what my own confrontation with the seeming darkness that is now encroaching upon humanity looks like.
So, take a deep breath, and stay present with me, all the way through to the end of this episode of Men, This Way …
Let’s dive …
RECOMMENDED BOOK ~ Nature & The Human Soul by Bill Plotkin
Why Men Need Personal Growth Work (With Other Men) w/ Sascha Lewis (055)
Do you genuinely trust other men?
Do you hesitate to trust your own emotions?
Why do we men need to hit bottom before we’re (truly) ready to change?
In this episode, my guest is Sascha Lewis, co-founder of the international men’s group organization, Evryman (with no second “e”).
Sascha and I were recently reconnected by a mutual friend, Fabian Alsultany. I’d met Sascha briefly at (what was probably) a Grammy Awards party at Fabian’s house in Los Angeles years ago, and when Fabian reconnected us just a few weeks ago, I was surprised to learn that Sascha had co-founded Evryman. Because one of my men’s groups, which I’ve been meeting with weekly for damn near the last 2 years, was based on the Evryman meeting format.
Sascha, a lifelong New Yorker, has been holed up with his pregnant wife in Brooklyn, New York, throughout the pandemic. We spoke just as New York is beginning to open back up. And although he shares some of his experience of the pandemic at the beginning of the episode, our conversation is more a deep dive into the transformative power of men’s work, of learning to trust other men – even men who on the surface seem to hold completely different values than yours, of the resistance we men often experience when it comes to changing our lives, even when we’re suffering, doing the emotional literacy work required to live fulfilling lives, and have fulfilling relationships, not just with another person, but with yourself.
We explore all that and more.
In addition to co-founding Evryman, Sascha is a lifelong entrepreneur and consultant with extensive experience in starting and developing businesses focused on the intersection of personal growth, progressive culture and digital media. His work has been featured in the New York Times, TODAY, Good Morning America, CNN, GQ, Vice, the Financial Times and The Economist.
I really enjoyed this conversation with Sascha, and if you have any interest in – or resistance to – personal growth work specifically for men, definitely stay tuned all the way through to Sascha’s 5 Key Takeaway’s at the end of this episode of Men, This Way …
Let’s dive …
Your Divine Appointment (When The Worst Thing Becomes The Best Thing) w/ Rev James Trapp (054)
What is your divine appointment (what you’re uniquely here to do)?
What is your “essential necessity” (that keeps you going when things get tough)?
How can we contribute to the world in ways that don’t create more upset & division?
My guest today, the honorable and inspired and inspiring Rev James Trapp, and I mine these questions and more to make a meaningful difference in your life.
Rev. Trapp is an incredible man. A graduate of the Ivy League Princeton University, His list of accolades, accomplishments, and honors are numerous and impressive, and besides being awarded the Key to wondrous city of Miami, FL, for his contributions to that city, I’m not going to name them here because none of that is why I invited him on.
I invited Rev James Trapp onto “Men, This Way” because the man looms large in the inspired unfolding of my own personal life story. I first encountered him at Unity on the Bay, a spiritual church in Miami, FL, back in … probably 2003-ish … The day before I first walked into his Church, I had no intention of ever setting foot in anything called Church ever again. Although I considered myself a deeply spiritual man, with a deep faith in God, Life, Love, Universe, whatever you wanna call the source energy that permeates and binds and animates all things together, I had long before lost my taste for organized religion. But the day I walked into Rev Trapp’s Unity Church, I didn’t just walk into church, I walked into my destiny. For I was straightaway enraptured by what I found there … and before I continue, I want to ensure you this is NOT a religious podcast. Whatever religious or spiritual views you’re bringing into this conversation, they are welcome, and I am not gonna try and convince you to think or believe anything different. I simply want you to know that Rev Trapp’s Unity Church soon became the spiritual home I didn’t even know I needed. On just my 2nd visit there, I saw a band perform, then called Inner Voice, who would change my life forever, when about 2 years later they asked me to manage them, because I said yes (without hesitation, despite knowing nothing about managing artists), and that choice put me on a trajectory to where I am today, doing the inspired work I do and love, and living the life in California with my bride that I live and love.
So I am deeply honored to feature Rev James Trapp on Men, This Way. We talk about his journey from highly successful Princeton University grad – criminal defense lawyer with money and prestige, through personal breakdown of substance abuse and emotional turmoil, to becoming CEO of Unity Worldwide Ministries, and now Senior Minister at The Spiritual Life Center in Sacramento.
We talk about the power of the mind to create your reality, and the most important things we, as men, can do, to meaningfully participate in and truly serve in helpful ways, today’s increasingly fragmenting and chaotic world.
We talk about all that, and more. So definitely stay tuned all the way through to Rev James Trapp’s 5 Key Takeaway’s at the end of this episode of Men, This Way …
Let’s dive …
“Spiritual Life Center Sacramento” on FACEBOOK
“Spiritual Life Center Sacramento” on YOUTUBE
The New Alpha Male (Feels Everything) w/ Lance Allred (053)
Have you (finally!) discovered the power of questioning your conclusions?
Have you ever successfully climbed the mountains of your aspirations … only to find utter disappointment there?
In this episode, my guest is, Lance Allred, the first deaf NBA basketball player in history.
Lance just released a new book, The New Alpha Male, with Sounds True Publishers, and is also the TEDx Star of “What is Your Polygamy?” a video which currently has over 4.6 Million Views.
… but neither of those reasons are why I invited Lance on to Men This Way. There’s plenty of men with popular books and huge video stats who don’t live their message.
What most fascinated me about Lance is that he grew up in a strict, fundamentalist Mormom polygamist commune in rural Montana, before his family left at the age of 13.
Some of the stories he shared about his upbringing, and more importantly how he broke away mentally from his upbringing, really spoke to me – because I too grew up with some wildly prophetic, even conspiratorial viewpoints in one of the primary families which I grew up in, which came with massive expectations about the special role I was supposed to play in saving the world from itself. So I wanted to hear more from Lance about his life journey, from grandson of Rulon Allred, leader of the Apostolic United Brethren, a breakaway sect of polygamous Mormon fundamentalists in Utah, Colorado, and Arizona, often called “The Allred Group.” – who by the way was assassinated by the head of a rival polygamous sect … from that, to NBA basketball player, author, and an international corporate speaker.
We cover a lot of ground in this episode, from the challenges and pressures of growing up in a polygamist sect, or any conspiratorial family system that puts the weight of saving the world on your shoulders – as happened to me – to the futility of trying to keep an intimate partner happy, to the importance of questioning the stories we live in (in our own heads), to the fear and disappointment that often awaits us when we finally achieve our dreams – all that and more – in this episode of “Men, This Way” …
So definitely stay tuned for Lance Allred’s 5 Key Takeaway’s at the end of this episode of Men, This Way …
Finally, if you want to share feedback or share what this conversation inspired in you, email me directly at firstname.lastname@example.org … I’d love to hear your thoughts …
Let’s dive …
SHOW NOTES + RESOURCES
LANCE’S BOOK: “The New Alpha Male”
A Man Without A Father’s Praise (Never Feels Successful Enough) (052)
Have you struggled to feel successful (enough)?
Have you struggled in relationship when you were professionally unfulfilled?
Did you know that a dad’s essential gift to a child is to instill both the drive to succeed, and the understanding that you’re already (always) successful?
My father’s in town.
Now I love my dad, but like most men, particularly those who grew up with their father mostly not present, and even many who grew up WITH their father present, we have a complicated relationship as adults.
As I said, I love the man, but I also harbor a deep-seated resentment, even rage, that really I know now just covers over a profound sadness that may never be healed. In fact, I believe the way I have lived my entire life, particularly as an adult, has been shaped by my roller coaster relationship with my overwhelmingly absent father, and in some ways that surely have served me well, such as my endless drive to accomplish whatever I set my mind to because I know no one else is gonna step in and do it for me, and yet in other ways that have been just utterly debilitating, such as my endless pursuit of some measure of success that has eluded me, and I know will continue to elude me, forever.
Today I’m diving into one of my recent popular blogs, A Man Without A Father’s Praise (Never Feels Successful Enough)
My dad is a brilliant man, a man who’s spent the last 40 years of his life working alongside my step-mother to make energy medicine technologies into real and viable products we can use today to help the human body heal. These technologies aren’t too far off from the kind of thing you’d see in a sci-fi TV show like Star Trek. I worked with them back in 2003 to help grow one of their signature products into a 50 million dollar company.
Oprah Winfrey loved that product, and featured it twice on her famous favorite-things audience giveaway shows in both 2003 and 2005. She even invited us on her show to talk about this technology, and when our Public Relations spokesperson completely miffed on one of Oprah’s questions in front of a live audience, I immediately stepped in and spent the next few minutes talking to Oprah about mind-body energy science, how our thoughts and feelings can affect the rhythm and beat of the hearts in our chests, and how we are all connected to our environments, and to each other, through invisible electromagnetic fields that have real impact on us – and I know this all may sound a bit woo-woo to you, and to some degree the science of it all still is, but I’ll tell you, in the words of our vice president who was sitting next to me that day on the Oprah Show, and whose primary character trait was shrewd observer of everything … I had Oprah enraptured.
After the show, I spent another few minutes back stage talking with Oprah – you can see the picture of us taken that day on my website on my story page. On our way back to the hotel that cold day in Chicago, our Vice President told me she was going to make me the International Spokesperson for our company.
Something I had no training for, because up until that point I’d mostly spent working on other aspects of the business. As the technology research the director for the company, I worked with the Miami Dolphins football team for a year. They had agreed to let us study how our product impacted the performance of their players.
I also served as the head of customer service, building up our customer service department essentially from nothing. Oprah featured our product just 6 months after we launched it. Especially in those days, when Oprah featured your product on her show before you were ready for big sales numbers, and before you had a customer service department, well, it was too late to get ready. Building that customer service department even as Oprah promoted it...
Don’t Let Ambition Ruin Your Happiness w/ Brenden (Bam!) Durell (051)
Can you tell a better story about your greatest disappointments?
Could ambition be getting in the way of you (actually) enjoying your life?
Did you know cacao – REAL cacao – can help you connect with an intimate partner, and with yourself?
Brendan Durell aka BAM! is a new friend of mine whom I first met at a meeting of a small private men’s group called MAN CAVE ELITE, brought together by our mutual friend, Preston Smiles.
A former professional baseball player, who’s still got that big burly athletic physique, Bam is ALL heart.
You’ll find out why he’s nicknamed Bam in this episode, but the work he’s up to in the world today is essentially all about helping Humanity awaken to a new understanding of the distinction between cultural masculinity and sacred masculinity.
He regularly collaborates and works alongside transformational figures and organizations such as the Conscious Man Brotherhood, Sacred Sons, Preston Smiles, Prince Ea, and others…
In this episode, Bam and I talk about our cross-cultural experiences of happiness, how ambition often gets in the way; we talk about the gift of disappointment, about the healing power of cacao – not that Nestle or Hershey crap only pretending to be chocolate so those company’s can make more profit – no, we’re talking about direct-trade from the source cacao complete with enriching cocoa-butter solids, consuming THAT intoxicating elixir for richer, deeper connections to yourself and others … hmmm??? … we talk about all that and more in this episode of “Men, This Way” …
So definitely stay tuned for Brendan Durell aka BAM!’s 5 Key Takeaway’s at the end.
Let’s dive …
Bam on Instagram: innerlightwarrior
Official Website: https://brendendurell.com/
Order Keith’s Cacao
Customer ReviewsSee All
Much needed tools to deal with real issues....
The podcast deals with issues men contend with and how the effect our relationships. It’s has helped as a tool to identify some of my blind spots and help in the journey of reaching my potential.
Don’t take sides but do take a position
What a great and hopeful summary I read in the episode notes. This will be my first listen to this show and the host seems to have managed to walk that fine line of being inclusive and caring, even when we differ.
I don’t know anything more about the host yet, other than those episode notes, so I’m hoping this will be a podcast I’ll be able to subscribe to after listening. Thanks for the good and thoughtful advice...
—-NEVERMIND. Just listened. He blew it.
Repeatedly mentioning the President alongside words like tyranny and Hitler, is clearly NOT “taking a side” right? What a shame. I thought this would be a way to help opposing views try to come to together and find views in common, but instead he just couldn’t resist the Trump bashing. Of course he’s entitled to his position and obviously it’s his podcast, but the episode notes were extremely misleading in my opinion. Sorry just very disappointed.
Everything about this podcast is right on point!
I subscribed to this podcast a while back because I’ve always liked what Bryan had to share in the things he’s written, but only recently gotten around to actually listening to them. Man, do I wish I’d been listening to them all along! I can really relate to so many things he talks about, his experiences, and it’s quickly become one of the most valuable things I listen to. His insights are wonderfully helpful and have changed a lot about the way I see myself as a man, and the way I’m consciously choosing to show up as a man in my relationship with my partner.
As for the podcast itself, I’ve listened to a lot of them in my day and I mean it when I say this one is excellent! The audio quality is great, and Bryan has a voice that’s soothing and easy to listen to. I’ve heard plenty of recordings, podcasts, and audiobooks where the narrator’s voice or background noises just get in the way and makes it hard listen to no matter how good the information is. Everything about Men This Way is right on point.
Thanks Bryan for everything you share and for choosing to do what you can to help serve us all, as men, and as human beings trying to orient ourselves in the direction our hearts feel is most resonant! 🙏🏻💚🌀