The Alli Worthington Show Alli Worthington

Hey friend! Does it ever feel like you’re living in survival mode? You know that feeling where you find yourself constantly saying, “if I can just get through one more day, things will be better”? I know I have!
But what does it really take to move out of survival mode? How do we find a place a safety and compassion for ourselves (and others) as we process and move past what we’ve been through?
Trauma-informed therapist Aundi Kolber joins me on the show today to tackle those questions and more! 
Aundi is a licensed professional counselor, and while we can’t all be her clients, we can all access the wisdom she shares in her two books, Try Softer and Strong Like Water. 
This is a rich conversation about emotional health, and I’m so excited to share it with you. 
Join in as we talk about: 
How the last three years have affected all of us (and why it makes sense if you’re not “over it”)
Steps we can take to build safety in ourselves, with each other, and in our spaces like churches and schools
The surprising way compassion impacts our nervous system
The different styles of attachment, and why “good enough” parenting really is good enough 
Aundi Kolber is a licensed professional counselor and author of two books, including her most recent, Strong Like Water: Finding the Freedom, Safety, and Compassion to Move through Hard Things–and Experience True Flourishing. Aundi lives with her family in Castle Rock, CO. 
Favorite quotes:
~“Trauma is anything that overwhelms our nervous system's capacity to cope.”
~“How we experience is something at least as important as the event itself.”
~“Getting yourself outside is a great place to do grounding. Nature is so soothing to us and really regulating to our nervous system.”
~“We are designed for more. Both our fierceness and softness are God-given.”
~“Our relationship with ourselves is influenced by our attachment style.”
~“Secure relationships have an internal sense of predictability that when you have needs others around who care for you will do their best to meet their needs to the extent they are able.”
~“One way to begin is to become aware of our attachment style.”
Coaching this week: 
1. Bundling Friend Time: Getting enough friend time, especially during busy seasons. (38:15)
Links to great things we discussed: 
Aundi Kolber Website 
Strong Like Water: Finding the Freedom, Safety, and Compassion to Move through Hard Things–and Experience True Flourishing
Aundi Kolber Instagram
Aundi Kolber Twitter
Slow - JOHNNYSWIM
Ted Lasso
How to Keep House While Drowning - KC Davis
Creed 3
Benefit Fluff Up Brow Wax
Order your copy of Remaining You While Raising Them here.
Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :)
xo,
Alli

Hey hey! Have you been overwhelmed with all there is to do or wondered how to make it all happen? Maybe you’ve wondered how to prioritize better what is most important to you?
Me too, and today’s guest is here to help us with that!
Crystal Paine is one of the wisest women I know, and she (literally) wrote the book on time management: The Time-Saving Mom. We had a great conversation about how to make the most of our days and spend them well, and I think you’ll find some practical help and encouragement here!
Listen in as Crystal and I discuss: 
Crystal’s 4-step system for feeling less frazzled in the midst of a busy life
The most challenging piece of managing our time (and why our mindset is so important!)
Two foundational questions you can ask to reduce decision fatigue
One thing to keep in mind to help you focus on what really matters
When Crystal visited with us last year, we dove into love-centered parenting, mom guilt, and what happens when we let our kids make mistakes. She shared the emotional journey with one of her children, who was experiencing depression and suicidal thoughts. If you are experiencing a difficult season, you can find practical wisdom and hope here.
Crystal Paine is an entrepreneur and New York Times Bestselling author of multiple books, including her newest, The Time-Saving Mom: How to Juggle a Lot, Enjoy Your Life, and Accomplish What Matters Most. Crystal and her husband, Jesse, live in Nashville, TN, with their six children (three teens and three under three!). 
Favorite quotes:
~“You need to know where you are going with your day.”
~“A Time Blocked To-Do list gives you freedom because you can be fully present where you are.”
~“We can change our life by making little choices every day that add up to a big change over time.”
~“Change your mindset and you are going to change your life.”
~“There are very few things that are actually going to matter in 25 years and it allows me to let a lot of things go and focus on what really matters.” 
Coaching this week: 
Our kids may make life meaningful, but relationships make life happy. (39:17)
Links to great things we discussed: 
Crystal Paine Website 
The Time-Saving Mom: How to Juggle a Lot, Enjoy Your Life, and Accomplish What Matters Most
Crystal Paine Instagram
24 TV Series
Raising Emotionally Strong Boys: Tools Your Son Can Build On for Life - David Thomas
Google Calendar
Clean Angel Cleaning Products
Poker Face TV Series
1 Second Everyday
Order your copy of Remaining You While Raising Them here.
Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :)
xo,
Alli
 

Hey friend! Our emotional health is crucial to our well-being, but sometimes it’s hard to know exactly how to get there or even what to do. What does it look like for us to move toward healing from the inside out?
I invited my friend Debra Fileta on the show to walk us through those questions and talk about the practical side of emotional health. Debra is a licensed professional counselor and has written a new book called RESET, which is all about healing from the inside out.
Listen in as we talk about: 
Why self-care really is soul care (and not made up or selfish!)
What triggers can tell us and how we can welcome them instead of avoid them
How children learn about emotional health
One exercise you can do in the next 24 hours to start to identify your thought patterns
Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor, speaker, and host of the Love + Relationships podcast. She is the author of six books, including her latest, RESET: Powerful Habits to Own Your Thoughts, Understand Your Feelings, and Change Your Life. Debra and her husband, John, live with their four children in Lancaster, PA.
Favorite quotes:
~~“Just because it hasn’t happened yet doesn’t mean it never will. Your mindset is 90% of the battle.”
~~“Our thoughts lead to our feelings which then lead to our behaviors. So when you are thinking negative thoughts and are hopeless, the truth is your life is going to follow suit.”
~~“It is hard work to get healthy, but it is harder work to stay unhealthy.”
~~“We need to understand the underlying thoughts that are leading to the underlying feelings that are impacting our behavior. We can't just expect to change from the external.”
~~The spirit can give us what we need to not continue to do things in an unhealthy way and live an abundant life the way Jesus calls us to here and now.”
Links to great things we discussed: 
Debra Fileta Website 
RESET: Powerful Habits to Own Your Thoughts, Understand Your Feelings, and Change Your Life
Debra Fileta Instagram
Goodness of God
The Chosen
Magnetic Bookmarks
Order your copy of Remaining You While Raising Them here.
Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :)
xo,
Alli
 

Hey friend! Have you seen so many people- on social media, in your own life, or both- walking through deconstructing their faith? Why is that happening? Is there anything we can do to help our kids build a faith they won’t have to tear down? 
I brought in a friend to talk through these things with me. David Kinnaman, the CEO of the leading research company, Barna Group, did years of research to try to answer those questions, and he’s here to share some of his insights with us. 
David spent many years researching why people leave the Church, and then he and his team asked, “What can we learn from those who stay?” The results were fascinating! 
Listen in as David and I talk about: 
5 practices of young people who have a resilient faith
What the story of Daniel in Scripture teaches us as we navigate a digital world
Why is oversimplification an enemy of faith?
One profound question we have to ask ourselves as Christian parents raising children of faith 
The importance of work and how our work and faith are connected.
David Kinnaman is the CEO of Barna Group and author of multiple bestselling books, including Faith for Exiles: 5 Ways for a New Generation to Follow Jesus in a Digital Babylon. David has three children and lives in Fort Worth, Texas. 
Favorite quotes:
~“Things have sped up so much that the ability of our families and churches to stay up with what it means to live a fully human and fully Christian life is really changing.”
~“Being ready and prepared and having deep roots into what God says about us, those are the things that are most important.”
~“We’re doing dial-up ministry in a WiFi world.”
~“Young people really want to learn and I think a lot of churches do a disservice by oversimplifying the message of the Christianity.”
~“We have a more American vision of what it means to be a young adult than we have a Christian vision of what it means to be a young adult.”
~“Let’s give away the fear and instead focus on what God has for us.”
Links to great things we discussed: 
Barna Group
Faith for Exiles
Awake - Hillsong
My Blood - Twenty One Pilots
The Mandalorian
1917
The Tech-Wise Family
The Lord of the Rings 
Tolkien
Shrinking
So Close - Brandon Lake and Amanda Cook
The Lives We Actually Have
Order your copy of Remaining You While Raising Them here.
Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :)
xo,
Alli

Hey hey! I’m so glad you’re here, friend. I’m delighted to have Beth Moore with me today, as we discuss mental illness–a tender topic that many of us have experienced either ourselves or alongside someone we love.  
In this fantastic conversation, Beth and I talk about the stories she shares in her new memoir, All My Knotted-Up Life, many of which she’s sharing publicly for the first time.
Join Beth and I as we unpack: 
The prevalence of mental illness, how it affects people we love, and why it is worth it to Beth and her family to share their story. 
What she would say to the woman who struggles with the calling on her life and the reasons she can’t or shouldn’t do it.
Why  authenticity is so important in our daily lives.
The most tender part of the audiobook for Beth to record. 
Talking with Beth is always a blessing. On her last visit to the show, she shared how to know if you are actually called or if it’s your own desires. And why I almost killed a man on Mount Olympus in her honor. You can catch that episode here.
Beth Moore is the founder and visionary of Living Proof Ministries, an international Bible teacher, and bestselling author of numerous Bible studies and books. Her newest book, a memoir titled All My Knotted-Up Life, is a must-read for anyone who needs to be encouraged by a woman’s resilience and God’s faithfulness. Beth and her husband, Keith, have two grown daughters and three grandchildren and live outside of Houston, Texas.
Favorite quotes:
~“Do the next thing that God puts on your heart that is a benefit to someone in his name.”
~“God is training you as you do it. He is even training you through what you learn you are not called to.”
~“Real life baggage and real life complications do not disqualify us from ministry.”
~“There are so many people dealing with mental illnesses in their homes and hiding in it as if it is a shame of some kind.”
Links to great things we discussed: 
Living Proof Ministries Website 
Beth Moore Instagram 
All My Knotted-Up Life: A Memoir
Beth Moore Twitter
I Speak Jesus
Endless Praise
Promises
The Crown
All Creatures Great and Small
Order your copy of Remaining You While Raising Them here.
Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :)
xo,
Alli
 

Hey friend! What if you could get some of the best marriage advice from multiple experts all in one place? That would be a game-changer, right?! 
In celebration of Valentine’s Day tomorrow, that’s exactly what we’re doing today!
I have pulled together some of my favorite marriage advice we’ve gotten here on the show over the last year to give you the best of love.  
These marriage tips come from three experts with different perspectives and wisdom we could all use when it comes to our marriage (and our relationships!). 
No marriage is perfect, but these tips will help you build that connection and strengthen the most important relationship in your life. 
Listen in as we talk about : 
The two buckets we carry into every conflict, and the importance of one of those buckets in building a marriage with Kevin Myers
Four red flags in relationships and what we can do about them with Toni Nieuwhof
Tips for staying connected in your marriage and the worst choice you can make when you feel disconnected from your spouse with Gary Thomas
Kevin Myers has been married to his wife and co-author, Marcia, for nearly forty years. The Myers have four grown children and two grandchildren, and live in Georgia, where Kevin is senior pastor at 12Stone Church. 
Toni Nieuwhof has worked as a divorce attorney and knows what it’s like to wish your marriage was better. She and her husband, Carey, have weathered the ups and downs to have a great marriage, and now Toni helps others do the same through books, courses, and podcasts. 
Gary Thomas is an international speaker and best-selling author of over fifteen books, including Sacred Marriage, which has sold over one million copies. Gary and his wife, Lisa, have been married for nearly forty years. They have three grown children and two grandchildren. 
Favorite quotes:
~“You need to be in the life of prayer to accomplish only what God can accomplish and make possible in a marriage relationship.”    - Kevin Myers
~“We tend to use marriage rather than build it.””  - Kevin Myers
~“A much healthier approach to marriage is to recognize what you really want is to elevate your bond and marriage connection higher than your own individual interests.”   - Toni Nieuwhof
~“One of the best ways you can give security to your kids and give them that solid loving foundation is to love your spouse really well and make your marriage a priority.”    - Toni Nieuwhof
~“An emotionally connected marriage makes the difficulties easier to bear and the fun times that much more delicious to enjoy.”   - Gary Thomas
~“Intimacy is dependent on security. You can’t be intimate with somebody that you don’t feel secure with.”   - Gary Thomas
Links to great things we discussed: 
Kevin Myers Website
Kevin Myers Episode
The Second Happy: Seven Practices to Make Your Marriage Better than Your Honeymoon
Toni Nieuwhof Website
Toni Nieuwhof Episode
Before You Split: Find What You Really Want for the Future of Your Marriage
Gary Thomas Website
Gary Thomas Episode
Making Your Marriage a Fortress: Strengthening Your Marriage to Withstand Life’s Storms
Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania
Firm Foundation
The Coach School
Join the Confident Motherhood Community here.
Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :)
xo,
Alli