The Club No One Wants To Be A Member Of Jada Johnson-Dutfield

With special guest @katgriefcoach

Kat is also a member of “the club no one wants to be a member of”, has her own podcast and is a grief coach. It was great talking and laughing when I couldn’t see how that would even be possible at this time... but there is the old adage, “if you don’t laugh you’ll cry...”

Conversing, laughing, reminiscing, sharing, all wrapped up with a little cheekiness. Talking death and all that seems to come with it.

In this episode we are discussing how other people can try to dictate how you should grieve. We speak on how it’s different for everyone and no one has the right to tell you how to try and change you because they feel uncomfortable with your grief.

Just two women having a frank discussion over the waters....Apologies for the sound quality but that’s what can happen when you’re in transit from one place to the next and a toddler to attend to. It’s more about reaching out to find others in various stages of this “new normal”. Kat is 6 years along and I’m 7 months in, but all that happens I think is you learn to sit better with your grief and some of those jagged edges smooth out.

Working my way through my mothers first posthumous birthday since her death 5 months ago. How it feels to have a day meant for celebrating another year shout so loudly that there is not another year to be had. How it feels when others around you, even close family, just don’t get the affect that this day can have. How you acknowledge, or honour the day for you. It wasn’t easy, but harder still was the days that followed as it sunk in that time was marching on without her ...

This is about making memories, taking pictures, capturing those moments to come back to later. Pictures to show your children, to give you something tangible alongside the memory that is emblazoned in your minds eye....

When you seem to gravitate to others who have lost and share your stories. It also touches on the need to be mothered and how deep that pain is knowing you have lost this....

What helps you “push through”? What takes the edge off the overwhelming grief? For me it’s film and escapism and so talking about the power of a good movie and about movies that are intrinsically about life, loss and seizing the day.

When that song, that smell, that taste, takes you back and how you handle it. When someone passes they don’t take all the memories with them if anything they are stronger and more fragrant and full of colour. You choose how they affect you, you decide how to take that song or that meal although it can sucker punch you and leave you reeling.