24 episodes

The most entertaining news stories aren't always on page one, and there's a good chance you missed the best of the best. The Liquored Up Low Down collects the finest obscure news stories, steeps them in alcohol, and passes them on to you, so you can stay informed and up to date on the most useless current events of the week.The cocktails are mixed and the Low Down is about to begin!

The Liquored Up Low Down: A Bizarre News Podcast The Liquored Up Low Down

    • News

The most entertaining news stories aren't always on page one, and there's a good chance you missed the best of the best. The Liquored Up Low Down collects the finest obscure news stories, steeps them in alcohol, and passes them on to you, so you can stay informed and up to date on the most useless current events of the week.The cocktails are mixed and the Low Down is about to begin!

    Death of a Fart Commander, Axes and Alcohol, and Rover the Alligator

    Death of a Fart Commander, Axes and Alcohol, and Rover the Alligator

    Perhaps there really was an Israeli Mossad Commander whose name translates to "Made A Fart" and he got into military operations because high school was so terribly, terribly hard for him.
    https://www.jpost.com/middle-east/article-709031
    Axes! Coming to a bar near you!
    https://www.kiro7.com/news/local/state-votes-allow-axe-throwing-businesses-with-liquor-licenses/YKWBQXOD7FG3RLH2YXHFZUNW6Q/
    Be careful. My dog bites because my dog is an alligator.
    https://www.fieldandstream.com/survival/florida-man-bitten-alligator-mistook-dog/
    Does your auto insurance cover you for poor sexual decisions?
    https://www.npr.org/2022/06/10/1104134521/geico-lawsuit-std-hpv-insurance-car
    Penis Man. The voice of the people with very little to say.
    https://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/ny-arrested-arizona-penis-man-claims-there-are-more-penis-men-20200128-uet57r6egrhfhiaontvnllwv3m-story.html
    You know there's a driving school out there somewhere that will teach you how to safely have sex in a moving vehicle.
    https://jalopnik.com/naked-florida-couple-crashes-into-fedex-truck-while-doi-1849023272
    If you have to rob ATMs, you're probably not a very successful rapper.
    https://nypost.com/2022/06/10/texas-rapper-ladesion-riley-arrested-for-robbing-atm-in-nashville/

    Contact Info:

    Hate-mail, questions or topic ideas for the show, hit us up on twitter at @LiquoredUpLD or email us at liquoreduplowdown@gmail.com. Bryan can be reached on twitter @RussianLitGuy.  Tom can be reached on twitter @Intelligiant2.

    Find more of Bryan at:
    https://thinkingoutcloud.org/

    Find Tom as Donnie Kruger at:
    https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_oaVG9YC-lZ9Lao50t-hzw

    • 30 min
    Unsafe Babies, Mutant Rage Hamsters, and Bear Wrassling

    Unsafe Babies, Mutant Rage Hamsters, and Bear Wrassling

    In this week's episode, learn about one practically perfect safety product for infants and toddlers, flawless with the exception of one small design flaw:

    https://www.pennlive.com/life/2022/05/federal-safety-agency-issues-warning-about-babyrescue-rapid-evacuation-devices.html#:~:text=Published%3A%20May.,the%20child%20inside%20the%20bag.%E2%80%9D

    Already working on the cover art for Mutant Rage Hamsters 2: This Time It's Personal. Whatever happened to Mutant Rage Hamsters 1? Let's just skip it and get to the good stuff.

    https://metro.co.uk/2022/05/27/gene-editing-turns-fluffy-hamsters-into-aggressive-rage-monsters-16721041/

    In this corner: small weakling human with baseball cap on backwards with a body tempered by Fritos and charcoal grilled hot dogs. And in this corner: a 1700 pound grizzly bear who's pretty pissed that his natural environment is rapidly disappearing.
    Let's get ready to rumble!
    *interesting fact: my impression of an individual who thinks he can beat a grizzly bear in hand to hand combat sounds remarkably like Bill Cosby.

    https://www.fox13now.com/news/national-news/poll-shows-which-animals-americans-think-they-could-beat-in-a-fight

    Do you really want to live in a place that needs to pay you to live there?

    https://news.yahoo.com/this-virginia-town-will-give-you-a-20000-incentive-to-move-in-140532587.html#:~:text=Some%20cities%20like%20Lewisburg%2C%20W,to%20relocate%20with%20similar%20offers.

    I wonder if the brochures at the Bank of Zambia include any copies of the dick pics they send to ransomware gangs:

    https://www.bleepingcomputer.com/news/security/national-bank-hit-by-ransomware-trolls-hackers-with-dick-pics/

    Contact Info:

    Hate-mail, questions or topic ideas for the show, hit us up on twitter at @LiquoredUpLD or email us at liquoreduplowdown@gmail.com. Bryan can be reached on twitter @RussianLitGuy.  Tom can be reached on twitter @Intelligiant2.

    Find more of Bryan at:
    https://thinkingoutcloud.org/

    Find Tom as Donnie Kruger at:
    https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_oaVG9YC-lZ9Lao50t-hzw

    • 26 min
    Criminal Cats, Penis Plants, and Fake Snakes

    Criminal Cats, Penis Plants, and Fake Snakes

    Cats are being locked down in a town in Germany because they like to eat endangered birds. At last, we have located the species responsible for environmental problems. Good thing we know where the fault lies! 
    https://boingboing.net/2022/05/23/cats-put-on-lockdown-in-germany.html

     Child abductors beware, you may be exposed to salty language during the commission of your crimes.
    https://nypost.com/2022/05/13/the-ultimate-kids-safety-hack-involves-a-lot-of-curse-words/

    Penis Plant Plucking Poor Proposition
    https://www.livescience.com/carnivorous-penis-pitcher-plant-picked

    Shocking new compelling Bigfoot photos! He's posting selfies on Twitter and his duck face is Amazing!
    https://www.cbsnews.com/video/experts-analyze-new-bigfoot-footage/

    Florida Woman Uses Diabolical "Fake Snake" Escape Plan
    https://fox59.com/news/national-world/florida-woman-arrested-accused-of-throwing-rubber-snake-at-deputy-following-chase/

    Kiss a Catfish in Virtual Reality
    https://interestingengineering.com/virtual-reality-kissing-haptics

    Did Arianna Grande make out with Osama Bin Laden?
    https://www.newsweek.com/fact-check-does-photo-show-ariana-grande-kissing-osama-bin-laden-1706884

    • 25 min
    Killing People Can Be Fatal, Cheese Fraud Protection, and Bald C*nts

    Killing People Can Be Fatal, Cheese Fraud Protection, and Bald C*nts

    In case you didn't know, killing people can be bad for you. The process of body disposal can be quite exerting, so be sure to check with your doctor and ensure you're healthy enough to bury someone before you murder. In other news, you'll be able to rest easy knowing your Parmesan cheese is legit. No more sleepless nights! And listen as we enjoy the freedom of being able to say the c word multiple times because it's the news and that automatically makes it okay.

    Our Linktree: https://linktr.ee/liquoreduplowdown

    The drink: Margaritas.

    The Easily Winded Murderer:
    https://people.com/crime/man-dies-heart-attack-trying-bury-girlfriends-body-after-murdering-her/

    Cheese Tracking:
    https://www.foodandwine.com/news/parmigiano-reggiano-fraud-micro-transponder-rinds-digital-label

    Tribunal Determines the word Bald is Sexual Harassments But No Judgement on C%nt:
    https://www.theguardian.com/world/2022/may/13/calling-a-man-bald-is-sexual-harassment-employment-tribunal-rules

    Parents Sue for Grandchildren:
    https://www.npr.org/2022/05/14/1098958972/india-family-lawsuit-children

    Woman Gets Arrested for Bucket List:
    https://www.wfsb.com/2022/05/12/woman-says-getting-arrested-was-her-bucket-list-since-high-school-deputy-says/

    Plagiarism Article Removed for Plagiarism:
    https://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/wireStory/authors-plagiarism-essay-pulled-plagiarism-found-84601217

    This Week in Duh:
    https://www.carscoops.com/2022/05/704000-ford-gt-heritage-ruined-because-florida-man-cant-drive-stick/

    Contact Info:

    Hate-mail, questions or topic ideas for the show, hit us up on twitter at @LiquoredUpLD or email us at liquoreduplowdown@gmail.com. Bryan can be reached on twitter @RussianLitGuy.  Tom can be reached on twitter @Intelligiant2.

    Find more of Bryan at:
    https://thinkingoutcloud.org/

    Find Tom as Donnie Kruger at:
    https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_oaVG9YC-lZ9Lao50t-hzw

    • 22 min
    Open House Sexy Times, GPS + Alcohol + Stairs = Story, Florida Doesn't Like Poop or Butt Stuff on Vanity Plates, Inherit the Wind But With Cats

    Open House Sexy Times, GPS + Alcohol + Stairs = Story, Florida Doesn't Like Poop or Butt Stuff on Vanity Plates, Inherit the Wind But With Cats

    First we talk about two Real Estate Agents who have some sexy times during an alleged Open House. Then we move on to a woman who drove down stairs because her GPS told her to. Florida does not like Farts or Butt stuff on the Vanity plates. We talk about Miska the cat who was a victim of government over-reach. Canada is the first to prosecute crimes . . . on the moon.
    Our Linktree: https://linktr.ee/liquoreduplowdown

    The Drink:
    Scotch!
    News Stories from This Episode:

    Open House Sexy Times:
    https://therealdeal.com/tristate/2022/04/28/brown-harris-stevens-agents-sued-for-alleged-sex-capade-in-clients-home/

    GPS and Alcohol:
    https://www.miamiherald.com/news/nation-world/national/article260959062.html

    Florida Vanity Plates that were rejected:
    https://www.tampabay.com/news/florida/2022/05/07/personalized-florida-license-plates-that-were-approved-and-rejected/

    Inherit the Wind but for Cats:
    https://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/eastside/miska-bellevues-most-persecuted-tabby-cat-seeks-her-day-in-court/

    Canada and Crimes on the Moon:
    https://www.npr.org/2022/05/02/1095861510/canadian-lawmakers-pass-amendment-allowing-prosecution-of-crimes-on-the-moon

    Contact Info:

    Hate-mail, questions or topic ideas for the show, hit us up on twitter at @LiquoredUpLD or email us at liquoreduplowdown@gmail.com. Bryan can be reached on twitter @RussianLitGuy.  Tom can be reached on twitter @Intelligiant2.

    Find more of Bryan at:
    https://thinkingoutcloud.org/

    Find Tom as Donnie Kruger at:
    https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_oaVG9YC-lZ9Lao50t-hzw

    • 38 min
    Drinking Your Own Pee is Good for You, Parent-Teacher Conferences with a Carnie, Buy Some Invisible Art, Fictosexual Software Development, Shocker: Electricity Can Kill You

    Drinking Your Own Pee is Good for You, Parent-Teacher Conferences with a Carnie, Buy Some Invisible Art, Fictosexual Software Development, Shocker: Electricity Can Kill You

    We're drinking Martini's again, which succeeded in making Tom REALLY drunk. We first talk about a man who drinks his own pee. We then talk about the world's most terrifying teacher. An Art Collector buys a very expensive receipt from invisible art shows from the 50's. We did not know that "Fictosexuals" are really a thing. We close out the show with TWID: "Fractal Wood Burning" and its various dangers.
    Our Linktree: https://linktr.ee/liquoreduplowdown

    The Drink:

    Gin Martinis!
    News Stories from This Episode:

    Drinking Your Own Pee is Good for You:
    https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/man-says-drinking-your-urine-26824674

    The World's Most Terrifying Teacher:
    https://metro.co.uk/2020/09/28/teacher-loses-job-because-his-tattoos-and-black-eyes-scare-children-13339638/

    Art Collector Buys Receipt for Invisible Art:
    https://www.npr.org/2022/04/15/1093005984/in-paris-an-art-collector-paid-1-2-million-for-a-receipt

    Fictosexual Software Development:
    https://nypost.com/2022/04/26/fictosexual-man-married-hologram-bride-now-struggles-to-bond/

    This Week in Duh:
    https://abc7chicago.com/tiktok-fractal-wood-burning-art-wisconsin/11796197/

    Contact Info:

    Hate-mail, questions or topic ideas for the show, hit us up on twitter at @LiquoredUpLD or email us at liquoreduplowdown@gmail.com. Bryan can be reached on twitter @RussianLitGuy.  Tom can be reached on twitter @Intelligiant2.

    Find more of Bryan at:
    https://thinkingoutcloud.org/

    Find Tom as Donnie Kruger at:
    https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_oaVG9YC-lZ9Lao50t-hzw

    • 30 min

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