The Look & Sound of Leadership Essential Communications - Tom Henschel

Frustrated at not showing up the way she wants to, a leader, in conversation with her coach, explores ways to integrate her values into her behavior.

To show up as more of whatever you want to be, ask yourself: 


What would be different if I were a little braver right now?What would a brave person do right now?What would I think, or what would I feel, if I were my bravest self right now?How is my self-talk helping how I show up?How is my self-talk holding me back in how I show up?
(Substitute your own spine word for “brave.”)


Three books to build muscle around how you show up. 


Leadership & Self-Deception. Change Your Questions, Change Your Life.The Four Agreements.




The PDF “Six Books for Growth” is available here. Or email Tom and he’ll send it to you.

This episode connects to two previous episodes featuring Chin-Sun: How to Build Your Self-Awareness and How to Grow Your Self-Management.

On September 7, a new podcast featuring Tom goes live: “Unlocking Leadership – Ask the Coaches.” Available online, on your podcast app and YouTube.



Meet our fabulous facilitators and browse our catalogue of courses.



Courses currently open for registration are:

Dare to Lead – full course

Career Wellness – free mini-course

Improv for Leadership – free mini-course



Get 15% off your first course with the promo code: PODCAST



This episode is in the library under four filters:

For Women

Managing Yourself

Self-Talk



Five specific episodes you might listen to are:

71. Act As If

162. Acting on the Corporate Stage

174. Animating Your Persona

154.  Self-Limiting Beliefs

176.  The Executive Impostor



Gratitude, as always, to those who reach out to us and those who post reviews. Thanks!

From all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership, be healthy and safe. 

Thanks for listening.



See you next month!

In this episode, a leader feels she lacks courage. She engages her coach in a conversation about how to use self-awareness and self-management as tools to help her become a little bolder.
The self-talk scripts discussed in this episode, plus the four-box process Tom described, are available to you in a PDF. You can request it in an email to Tom here or you can download the PDF here.
Other resources mentioned in this episode:
Last month’s episode connects (like Pop Beads!) to this episode: How to Build Self-Awareness
E.Q. Applied by Justin Bariso – a helpful, friendly book chock-full of exercises.
Nathaniel Branden’s work on self-esteem – profound thoughts and powerful prompts.
Dan Harris’s podcast 10% Happier
Meet our fabulous facilitators and browse our catalogue of courses.

Courses currently open for registration are:
Dare to Lead – free mini-course and full course
Career Wellness – free mini-course 


Get 15% off your first course with the promo code: PODCAST


This episode is in the library under four filters:
Assertiveness
Developing New Behaviors
Managing Yourself
Self-Talk


Five specific episodes you might listen to are: 
162. Acting on the Corporate Stage
109. Building Emotional Intelligence
110. Creating New Behaviors
176. The Executive Impostor
25. How Behaviors Change


Plus a bonus episode:
103. Self-Awareness & Self-Management


Much gratitude to those of you who reach out to us and those who post reviews. Thank you!
From all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership, be healthy and safe. 
 Thanks for listening.
See you next month!

Self-awareness, like any muscle, can be built through discipline.In this episode, a leader learns two exercises to help build awareness of her thoughts and feelings.
The two exercises discussed in this episode are detailed in a PDF that we’d love to send you. Send us an email and we’ll send back the PDF. The PDF also contains the Feeling Words Grid.
Other resources mentioned in this episode:
 E.Q. Applied by Justin Bariso – a helpful, friendly book chock-full of exercises.
Sort the episode library using the filter Feedback. Good feedback will build your self-awareness, for sure!
Five episodes to listen to:
 #103 Self-Awareness & Self-Management
 #109 Building Emotional Intelligence
#25 How Behaviors Change
#142 The Mindful Executive
#190 Thinking Errors
Gratitude to those who are in touch and who post reviews.
From the entire team at The Look & Sound of Leadership, be well. And thanks for listening.
See you next month!

A new leader worries about having to become a dictator in order to meet her goals. She and her coach explore the challenges inherent in trying to be a truly democratic leader.
Core concepts in this episode:
When pressured, many leaders revert to giving orders.People need time to feel safe speaking up to a new leader.A democratic leader doesn’t have to give everyone their way, just give everyone their say.When listening to ideas, just listen. Don’t fix or tweak or improve.The Essential Communications website has many free resources for you.
The entire archive of episodes going back more than a decade is free and available to you.
Categories in the archive related to this episode are:
 Leading Teams
Leadership
Perception – How You’re Perceived
Related episodes are: 
How Teams Fight
Inviting Dialogue
Psychological Safety
Taming Meetings
The Conflict Conversation
If you’d like to be a tester for the new Essential Communications website, shoot Tom an email.
In this episode, Tom mentioned:
A progressive elementary school in Van Nuys, CA. The school is Children’s Community School.
Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office by Lois Frankel
Dare to Lead by Brené Brown 
Tom’s conversation with Ben Ritter on “The Live for Yourself Revolution.”
COACHES! Join Tom at the Executive Coaching Special Interest Group sponsored by the Los Angeles Chapter of ICF. Non-members pay $10 to attend. This month’s topic: Team & Group Coaching.
 

A leader, initially described to his coach as clueless, confronts a hard truth about himself. In the process, he gains a four-step tool to guide him through tough conversations.
Core Concepts in this episode:
To convey a tough message and maintain a positive relationship:
1. Start with a full-stop. Act, don’t RE-act. Identify why this conversation is important.
2. Express intention. Say why you’re having the conversation and what your concerns are.
3. Be clear. Be simple. Identify what you wish were different specifically.
4. Attend to the relationship. At every step, even in the conversation, consider the other person.

Related Archive Categories:
Communication Skills
Management Skills
Relationship Skills
Related Tips & Episodes:
Combating Emotional Hijacks
The Conflict Conversation
A Difficult Conversation
Short Sounds Confident
Smoothing Harsh Edges

Books to boost your skills in tough conversation:
Difficult Conversations


Crucial Conversations
 
The library of all the past episodes is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast
Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/
Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/
Thanks to all of you who are in touch and who post reviews. Much gratitude!
See you next month!

This month’s coaching conversation explores ways to make feedback more palatable. The secret: sort the feedback you receive into three distinct categories.
Many ideas in this episode and last month’s episode are explained more fully in the book: ‘Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well – even when it is off base, unfair, poorly delivered and, frankly, you’re not in the mood.’”
Related episodes are:
Unblocking Feedback (from last month)
Don’t Take Anything Personally
Getting Good Feedback
Handling Feedback Effectively
Perception is Reality
In the archive, this Tip is tagged in three categories
Feedback
Leadership
Managing Yourself

Tom has three leadership interviews that have gone live this month:
Coaching For Leaders: Episode 518
A deep 40-min dive into “Sorting & Labeling"


Fidelis Leadership Podcast: Episode 37
A wide-ranging 60-min exploration of leadership
Ultimate Leadership Podcast: 02/08/21
A fast-paced 25-min examination of your readiness for coaching

The archive of Executive Coaching Tips is available at:
http://essentialcomm.com/podcast/
Subscribe to the HTML version at:
https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/
Be in touch with Tom at:
info@essentialcomm.com
See you next month!
From all of us on “The Look & Sound of Leadership” team — thanks!