Total Elimination: Facts & Hacks for the Poop Life of Your Dreams The Naked Librarian

 

So let’s face it: talking about poop is awkward, private, embarrassing, some would even say bad manners. It’s one of those subjects that falls into the taboo category related to bodily functions and fluids like sex and menstruation. But here’s the thing: all of these, and others not mentioned here, are part of a healthy, normal, long life. And it’s not exactly a competition but if it was, poop arguably would top the list because if you don’t go, you won’t live very long. But it’s actually even bigger than that. Because the quality of your stool can tell you something about your health and being regular affects your quality of life on a daily basis. 

So in the last few editions of the Naked News, we’ve been talking about how gut health affects everything from your mental health to your immune system. And how often you go is definitely related to your gut health. So if you want to understand the vital role your gut microbiome plays in total elimination, check out the last two episodes entitled How Gut Health Affects Everything, Everywhere, All the Time. 

In this edition, called Total Elimination: Facts & Hacks for the Poop Life of Your Dreams, we’re focused on how to set yourself up for success when it comes to what I call your poop life. And while some of what you’re going to discover today is common sense, some of it falls into a category I call ‘the unbelievable shit nobody teaches you’ and another I’ve named poop hacks. Look, I believe you deserve to have the very best life and that includes rock star regularity. Ready, set? Let’s find out what it takes to go.

 

The Origins of Poop-xiety 
 

Earlier this summer, I went camping with my husband Kyle and his son Wyatt. We had a marvelous time staying three nights at a semi-remote lake in Oregon’s Willamette Forest, sleeping under the stars, hiking in the ancient forests with the dogs, and fishing from our inflatable pontoon boat. Something else that’s great about camping with Kyle is he completely embraces my need to eat in the way I want. And we even planned our meals this way. He and Wyatt had hot dogs and ribs and chips, and I had my own cooler of berries, yogurt, quinoa salad, and half a dozen vegetables. I ate great every day and got a reasonable amount of physical activity and rest. I had lots of down time for reading and ate only one s’more, which is about one more than I usually eat. S'mores taste delicious but generally make me feel gross so I’ve learned to avoid them. 

I did so many things right. Still, for the last 2 days and 2 nights, I struggled to have a decent poop. And over the course of my stay, this really affected my happiness. I was uncomfortable and bloated, and frankly, mystified. How could I eat all that fiber and probiotic foods and still miss my morning BM?

Despite all of my efforts, I was pretty sure I knew what was wrong. You see the campground where we stayed had pit toilets, which if you don’t camp very much, think of them as glorified porta-potties. When the company comes to clean them, they’re pumping from a hole way down in the ground versus a few feet from your bum, so that part is better. But the part where people go there day/night for days and you catch the scent of waste on your short hike to the restrooms makes it a place where you want to get in and get out. I just couldn’t seem to relax and go as I crouched a foot from the commode and held my nose. 

When we got back, I started researching this topic in earnest because it’s not like this was a new problem for me. I have this issue sometimes whether it's a tent, cabin, or hotel. And from talking with my girlfriends I know I’m not alone. So one of the things I learned is something we’re going to cover in today’s episode. Because in addition to a high-fiber diet, hydration, exercise, and a few other things that help you go #2, your body can’t poop unless it’s literally in the ‘rest and digest' state. In other words,