TRC REMIX: Is Masturbation a Sin? Part II The Refined Collective Podcast

Thank you Newsstand Studio at 1 Rockefeller Plaza for providing a place for me to record this episode for y’all! No more Brooklyn closet recording!!!
 
Welcome to the TRC Remix Series Part II. If you’re not sure what this series is click here for more info!
 
Today is part TWO of a conversation on masturbation on the podcast. If you missed part one, check it out here before you listen to this episode. This week, I’ll be continuing a layered and nuanced conversation addressing the thing no one wants to say out loud, but everyone is dying to talk about: masturbation.
 
Is it a sin?
Does the Bible say anything about it?
 
Brokenness is the beginning of the gospel. —David Kim. 
 
Is Masturbation A Sin?
My honest answer is: yes, no, maybe. All the way from Genesis to Revelation there’s this rhythm we see of death to life, brokenness to restoration, renewal and redemption. [1]Clearly there is some real brokenness in how pleasure is approached, but if Jesus came to make all things new, is it possible that He could have a redemptive vision for this too? 1 Corinthians 6:12-13; 10:23 Paul says it twice: Everything is lawful, but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial.  
How Can Masturbation Be A Win?
5 Things to Consider
 
Pleasure 
God is for our pleasure. How do I know? Taste buds, sunsets, brownie sundaes, and the only purpose of the clitoris is pleasure.  
Practice Healthy Consent
Consent in sexual encounters whether it’s a hug or sex is VITAL. But if we don’t know what we want or what feels good we won’t have the tools to communicate our wants and needs. Masturbation can be a way to: Know your body. Know what feels good and doesn’t feel good. And have the ability to communicate that.   
Mutual Honor and Acceptance
We put on other people a tenth of what we put on ourselves. If I judge, shame, dismiss my sexual desire and in essence don’t accept it, how can I accept my partner’s?  
Connection and Innocence
To God: Mark 12:29-30— love God with all of you.  
To self and others:  Matthew 18:3— be like little children. If little children can m********e in innocence, can we not get back to that as well?   
Practice Being Present: Sensuality
Dr. Celeste Holbrook, the Christian sexologist, describes sensuality beautifully: it’s the act of being present. She talks about how toddlers are the most sensual beings because they’re in a constant state of discovery. Porn and masturbation are not mutually exclusive. Removes fear and shame around body, self, and sexual desire.  
5 Questions to Ask Yourself
 
Am I addicted to porn?
I am not here to shame you if this is your story. Masturbation for a person addicted to porn would be like a drunk living at a bar. Not a win for you right now. Phylicia Masonheimer has some amazing resources for you around this topic. Sexuality can be activated by abuse. If that is your story, I am so sorry and remember that it is never your fault. Your sexuality is not tainted and you have permission to work through this.  
Why am I feeling turned on right now? 
50 Shades of Grey, porn, or a normal Wednesday afternoon? What am I really looking for at this moment? Connection? Intimacy? Release?  
How can I honor myself, God, and my future in this moment?
Really take the time to answer this question for yourself.   
If shame weren’t a part of the conversation, how would I show up?
Shame and fear is not the heart of God— Ephesians 3— rooted and grounded in love. Jesus came for the abundant life— not a spirit of fear, but of power! Is it possible to m********e and stay present and not fantasize? Is it possible to remain in healthy community with myself, God and others and m********e? Is it possible to experience self-pleasure and remain outward focused? Yes! Grace Alone: In every other area of our lives we’re willing to fumble,