Why Struggle? Podcast w Barbara J. Faison Barbara J. Faison

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This is a podcast about trusting your Personal Guidance System.

Guess what y'all? It’s National Meditation Month… I get a little geeky about this because meditation has been such an important part of my life since the 90’s.

I started meditating because I was struggling and tired of the struggle. Back then there was no YouTube or podcasts or any of the really cool technology that we have now. I bought Shakti Gawain’s CASSETTE TAPE called Creative Visualization which was a 30 minute program. I thought I was going to EXPLODE. Trying to sit and visualize for me was very stressful. You see, when someone walks me through a beautiful visualization practice, I don’t see a thing, just the black behind my eyelids. Lol

Meditation is such a personal practice. Some people see images, others are really impacted by sounds and other people, like me, are more connected to feelings and sensations when they practice.

My meditation practice is one of the key steps I take daily as I walk that journey. My practice now is totally different than when I first started. One of my favorite quotes from Dr. Michael Beckwith, is meditation is paying undistracted attention to reality, to the eternal, and to that which is real. It is learning to have dominion over your attention, so that you can place your attention where you want it to be.

Science has now proven that what we focus on, our attention, and how we focus on it, our intention is what we manifest in our lives. If we focus on what we don’t have, what we want, will not show up.

I believe we all have what I call a PGS, Personal Guidance System. It is our own personal GPS, that navigates us around this earth. It is ALWAYS there even when we don’t believe it is. It is there even if we don’t listen to it.

Early on in my meditation journey after I finished meditating, I believe it was in 1995/96, my PGS was very clear that I didn’t need to go to work that day. There was nothing wrong with me, I was not sick. I had finished my 10 minutes a day practice and as I was walking around my apartment, I felt something in me that said… Don’t go to work today. I remember it being very clear. Stay home.

Guess what I did, I went to work. Just like the GPS will tell us something, and sometimes we ignore what the GPS says, the PGS will tell you something and it’s up to you to listen and act. Just because we know how to get somewhere doesn’t mean it is the best way to go at that moment.

The mind chatter I had about not going to work that day went something like this.

“ I can’t just call into work sick, I’m not sick.”

“ How can I call into work, or call out to work sick?”“ I don’t have a personal emergency.”

“ I need to go to work.”

I went back-and-forth in my head with my mind about calling in because I was not sick. There were no wellness days back then. I think I had so much chatter because I had a wonderful boss who would have been fine with me taking the day. And again, I didn’t trust my PGS.

I was stalling and I was late leaving for work. I worked in downtown Atlanta and drove to the train station to go into the city. I turned left out of my apartment complex to drive to the station that was about five minutes closer than the usual station I went to. All that mind chatter had me flustered. I wanted to get on the train earlier, so I turned left. It was a split second decision to make that left turn. When I turned left a car came from around the curve and T-boned me.

A little backstory. I was driving my 1990 silver Volkswagen Jetta, which I didn’t care for. My whole life I had owned Japanese cars, they were very quiet. I wanted to try something different so I tried a German car. The truth is I DID NOT like that car, it was very loud. Look at that attention thing rearing its head. This was before I even knew about the power of our thoughts.



Keep listening.

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2024 - Week 18 - Beach Day Trip

Destin FL is one of my favorite places to go to the beach. The blue water from the Gulf of Mexico can be mistaken for beaches from other countries. I remember when I had pictures of Puerto Rico and Destin in my camera roll and I couldn’t tell them apart.

2019 was the last time I was at the beach, we were in Panama City, FL. It had been wayyy toooo long. I missed hearing the waves of the ocean and feeling the wind caress my skin. When I found myself being irritated more than usual, I knew what it was. My body was calling me to the beach. I needed to be near the water. I suggested to my husband, TD, that we take a day trip to Savannah to go to Tybee Island. Bonus: We have never been, so we got to do something new, a twofer. lol

The drive from our house was less than four hours and it was a lovely Saturday to be on the road. I could feel my body getting ready to be near the water as we got closer to our destination. I have learned that my body gives me clues all th e time, when I’m paying attention. My shoulders started to relax as did my face. I was smiling for no reason at all. lol

When we arrived the wind was brisk and it was sunny. The temperature was too cool for me to get in the water. I was near the water and that was just right. Beach baby. Beach baby. We settled into our room then went to the beach to do what I call deep beach sitting. It's my version of just being with nothing to do but people watch and enjoy being on the beach. No book. No music. Just the beach chair and the wind and the sound of the waves.

Watching the families play and listening to the waves crashing helped me continue to relax. There was a family with a mom and three children near us. We chatted with them and enjoyed watching them bury one of the boys in the sand. Later for dinner we ate outside (it was very breezy and cold) at a local restaurant.

Sunday morning we walked to a local healthy restaurant across the street. The couple next to us was from Atlanta and we laughed as their waitress mentioned she was coming to Atlanta on vacation. TD asked if we lived on or near the beach would we go someplace like Atlanta on vacation? I said, yes, because to go on vacation is to go somewhere different.

We walked to the pier and watched people fish and take pictures. The group of birds flying in and out onto the roof of the pier was fascinating.

I recorded a breath break from the pier, you can find it on my YouTube channel under videos it’s called a Mindfulness Practice - https://youtu.be/bYYMbxoCXxE?si=AkubhCV9vLrbYSl4

Walking along the beach and being near the water was just what my body needed. I loved creating memories I can reflect on that make me smile. Our day trip to Tybee Island was what we both needed. When was the last time you took a day trip somewhere? Where did you go? 

Leave a comment where you are listening to this podcast, I'd love to know.

You can also email me at barbarafaisonllc@gmail.com. And if social media is better for you, LinkedIn, Facebook, and Instagram, are best.

Our Breathe with Barbara LIVE sessions start next week on Wednesday, 5/8. If you are interested in joining us, you can register on my website at barbarafaison.com/store/ live meditation, you can also use MONEY for 10% off your order as a promo code.






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2024 - Week 17 - Pinochle, Platelets and Resident Alien

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Doing new things is great for your brain. I am an LL- a lifelong learner and I’m grateful that for the most part I enjoy trying new things. I’ve been doing new things so long it really is second nature for me, most of the time. Watching a genre of a movie or a series you normally wouldn’t watch is doing something new. It can also be picking up something new when you go grocery shopping or turning down a different street on your way home. It doesn’t have to be major, just something “different” from the usual.

This week I did three new things: Pinochle, donated platelets and watched Resident Alien on Netflix.



Pinochle

Last weekend I went over to my friend Kym Kennedy's house for a birthday celebration. At these gatherings, we pretty much hang out for the day. It's always a lot of fun and people come and go based on their availability.



I arrived mid afternoon after a four hour shift working at the local library. We offer passport processing at our branch and Saturday is usually very busy. I was looking forward to it and relaxing. After greeting the ladies that were there, I grabbed a plate of food and sat down to join the festivities.



We laughed and talked, and then started to play cards. I grew up playing cards which included tonk, bid, whist, gin rummy, spades to name a few. The card game they started to play was pinochle. I don't recall ever playing pinochle. I was up for something new. Why not?



When the ladies started to explain the game and pulled out a piece of paper to write down how to score, I thought to myself this will take a lot of mental energy. Lol. Not quite what I expected and not very relaxing. I laughed with them that pinochle required a lot of thinking. These ladies are older than me and had been playing pinochle since they were in their teens or earlier. The birthday guest of honor, Elona and I were the ones learning how to play the game. I joked and complained a bit as they were explaining how to play, and I loved how they talked us through all the steps. It was a lot of fun after I got out of my head about all the thinking required.



Donating Blood Platelets

Yesterday I donated blood platelets for the first time after receiving a request from a friend who had a family member who needed them. I’ve donated blood numerous times, so this is definitely something new and different. The process was very streamlined with the application and forms being online, I was ready to go. I am a bit of a researcher so I did go to YouTube to know what to expect. I didn’t say doing new things didn’t mean you couldn’t research, did I? Lol. I was in an out a within few hours.

Resident Alien

The third recent new thing I did was start watching Resident Alien on Netflix. It's a science fiction series about an alien who comes to earth and takes on human form. Sci-fi is not a genre I watch much so I thought I would try this series out. I found it to be hilarious with quirky characters and great writing. it’s light hearted for the most part so I can watch it and get a good laugh.

Doing new things regularly is a great way to get out of your comfort zone and keep your mind engaged and active. Would I play pinochle again, yep! I would also donate platelets again. And I’m still watching Resident Alien, I’m almost done with season 2.

What’s something new you have tried recently? Leave a comment where you are listening to this podcast and share what you see, smell, hear, taste or touch in this moment.

You can also email me at barbarafaisonllc@gmail.com. And if social media is better for you, LinkedIn, Facebook, and Instagram, are best.










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2024 - Week 16 - Take a Breath

You can listen to this on my podcast - 8:13 mins or click the link above for the YouTube Channel version (audio only)

Wouldn't it be nice to have people do what we want them to do all day long? Good luck with that. We live in a society of free will. Every day we make choices. Each person takes a path that will be filled with learning experiences for that individual.

You can't make anyone do anything they don't want to do. The only behavior you can control is your own. A reminder of this is watching a two-year-old or any child have a tantrum. The child will stop when ready, no matter what anyone tries to say or do to him or her



We can't control anyone as much as we may think we can learn to accept people for who they are, not who you want them to be. Learn to manage your ability to respond to others and check in with yourself. Learn to step back and check your expectations.



Practice: before you ask anyone to change his or her behavior, think about your expectations. Is this change for your benefit because it would make you more comfortable? How would you feel if someone wanted you to change your behavior?



Affirmation: I accept people for who they are in my life.

That was an excerpt from my book/e-book/audiobook Why Struggle? life is too tight to wear tight shoes is the Deep Breathing Practice.



Suzanne is my oldest friend and we usually chat a few times a week. Whenever I get annoyed because "someone didn't do something I thought they should do," she reminds me that people have their own priorities that take up space in their head. And that is a very valid point. lolWhen I woke up this morning I had things on my mind that I wanted to do. I bet you did as well.  What I plan or need to do, where I want to go, who I plan to reach out to and so on. Unless you are working on something together, people may not be thinking about what you have on your mind. I know what's wrong with them right? Don't they know my priorities?

Expecting someone to make your thoughts a priority is futile. They are not in your head thinking your thoughts. I've gotten better about stopping my mind from creating stories which may or may not be true. What helps me is to take a few breaths. Hmmm, sounds like a great time to practice taking a breath.

Let's do it. What we'll do is take four breaths in through the nose and eight breaths out through the mouth. It's simple and easy and takes just over a minute. You can do a few rounds of this breathing while driving or walking, too.  It's a great way to relax your mind and your body. You can practice this a few times during the day as well.

I'll do the counting and you do the breathing.

Are you ready? Let's begin.

Breathe in 234 out 7654321

In 234 out 7654321

In 234 out 7654321

In 234 out 7654321

In 234 out 7654321

In 234 out 7654321

In 234 out 754321

Take a moment to notice how you feel right now in this present moment.

This breathing technique is very powerful. Whenever we breathe out longer than in, we're sending a signal to our brain to calm our body down.

Maybe the next time you find yourself moving into a state of annoyance because someone isn't reading your mind, try breathing out longer than you breathe in to keep yourself in a calm place. This was 4 in and out 8, you can do any number that works for you. As long as the exhale is longer than the inhale, you will feel the benefits of the breathing practice.

So how do you feel after taking a few intentional breaths? Let me know by leaving a comment wherever you are listening to this podcast.

You can also email me at barbarafaisonllc@gmail.com. And if social media is better for you, LinkedIn, Facebook, and Instagram, are best.




All the links - ⁠LINKTR.EE/BARBARAFAISON






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2024 - Week 15 - Celebrations!

This is a podcast about celebrating friendships and enjoying life.

My dear friend Bonnie is celebrating her birthday and a group of us will go salsa dancing on Friday. When I was chatting with her earlier this week, neither one of us could remember exactly when we met. Well, we remembered when we met, we just couldn’t remember the year. We’re pretty sure it was around 2000ish. Lol

At that time, I was dancing once or twice a week around various places in Atlanta. One Friday night while I was at the Duplex listening to music and dancing in place, Bonnie came over and struck up a conversation. That act started the beginning of our friendship.

Over the next 20+ years, we experienced a lot! Whenever I had a program and needed support, Bonnie was there. She would be there early, stay for the program, and help me clean up afterwards. In fact after I got married, my husband noticed whenever something was taking place whether it was people coming over to the house or an event that I was part of, Bonnie was there. I told him, we should all have a friend like Bonnie. If she can be there, she will be there from the beginning to the end.

We have had countless meals together and laughed until we couldn’t stop. We have traveled together and danced salsa in Miami and Puerto Rico until the wee hours of the morning. As we grew older, we would laugh the next day after we stayed out way too late and remind ourselves that we were not 25, 35, 45, or even 55.

I have lost count of all the times Bonnie was there. Whether it was helping get my mom to an event because I needed to be there early or I checking on her when she was in the rehab center. I’m so grateful my mother got a chance to meet her. After my mother passed and when it was time to go through her things, Bonnie’s support and presence was like a healing balm.



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2024 - Week 14 - Staying Grounded

This is a podcast about how I stay grounded.

Last week I mentioned using your phone to remind you during the day to stop and check in with yourself. 

Are you checking in with yourself? Are you noticing how you feel and paying attention to how you are moving through the day?



I notice when I’m rushing or moving fast I drop things. I might have too many things in my hand as I’m walking to the car and I drop something. Maybe if I put my water bottle down and make another trip that wouldn’t happen. Lol. So lately I have been noticing and stopping and putting my hand in the center of my chest and taking a few breaths and lovingly saying to myself, “Barbara, slow down.”



Spring brings a different energy than winter. When the weather is nice it makes me want to be outside more and do a lot.  New ideas and adventures are naturally a part of spring since we were more inside and closed off during the winter months.  I’ve learned it’s important to stay grounded during the day so I can be more focused on what I desire.



Here are a few ways I stay grounded with life during the spring.


I take a few minutes to sit outside and be with nature


I press my feet into the ground and remind myself that I am safe and grounded


I limit myself to no more than three major activities a day





I’ve recently released a five minute grounding meditation that also uses your voice. I hope you enjoy listening. 



Check in with your body and notice how you feel now. You can also find this meditation on my YouTube channel under videos.



I’d love to know how you felt after practicing the grounding meditation. Leave a comment where you are listening to this podcast. 

You can also email me at barbarafaisonllc@gmail.com. And if social media is better for you, LinkedIn, Facebook, and Instagram, are best.

Our Breathe with Barbara LIVE sessions start next week on 4/10. If you are interested in joining us, you can register on my website at barbarafaison.com/store/ live meditation, you can also use MONEY for 10% off your order as a promo

The card I pulled for us today from my Relax, Listen and Trust Your Inner Guidance Card Deck in this moment is:

#8 - LISTEN - My body TELLS ME what it NEEDS

It sure does. It might be movement, food, rest, water. Learning to listen to your body is a PRACTICE and Practice. Keep Practicing.


Linktr.ee/barbarafaison






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