Worst Kept Secret: A Painless & Effective Treatment for Hemorrhoids The Naked Librarian

Victoria: So I heard recently that the average person has roughly 13 secrets, and this came from a researcher who studies secrecy and the effects of keeping secrets. So it's got some science behind it, but still I thought that can't be true. I mean, not of me. I'm an honest person, I'm an open book. I even write and talk about topics that scare other people, but the whole idea really got under my skin. I thought maybe I do have secrets. Maybe I'm just so good at keeping them, I have kept them from myself. So I did what I always do when I get a little hung up. I consulted the dictionary. And here's how Webster defines the word secret: information you're keeping from people close to you. And that's when I remembered the secret I had recently revealed to my husband.

The truth was, for the entire time I was dating my husband and into the first year of our marriage, I had been seeing another man that Kyle knew nothing about.     I might say I had a doctor's appointment or that I needed to run an errand, but what I never said is that I am going to see Dr. Gardner.

I kept Dr. G a secret from Kyle, but my girlfriends knew all about him. That's because Dr. G had a very specific set of skills, and he brought a lot of comfort and meaning to my life. Dr. Gardner is a fabulous proctologist who started the Oregon Hemorrhoid Clinic, where he continues to practice with three other doctors. And Dr. G had come into my life after I had long ignored that I was very uncomfortable, well, back there.

Victoria: Hi friends. If you're new to the Naked Librarian, welcome. I'm Victoria Payne, and I created The Naked Librarian because I wanted a place to share health and happiness news with grown-ass women. In today's episode called “Worst Kept Secret: A Painless and Effective Treatment for Hemorrhoids, we're talking about that pain in your ass.

It's a very informative and practical show, and it's also the final episode in our first season. So if you're not caught up on all the Naked News, please have a ball binging on episodes about emotional first aid, women and self-sacrifice, how to stop hating your clothes, and more—not to mention the precursor to today's episode called Poop Hacks.

Alright, now back to Secrets and Health and why we can be so weird about it all. So I honestly never planned to tell Kyle about Dr. G. The problem was Kyle had been producing my podcast and I didn't want him to hear about Dr.G for the first time while he was editing.

And so on a Sunday morning, I handed him his coffee and brought up, as you do, that I wanted to do an episode on non-surgical hemorrhoid treatments because it is honestly one of the very few medical procedures that I have had done that has totally changed my life.

And that's how my husband learned of my long health secret. And it's funny how I feel better having told him, but I'm pretty sure Kyle's feels worse. Kyle was raised by Midwestern parents who mostly communicate through code language. So this conversation really felt like daring him to love me. And as fate would have it, after I told him the truth about the other man, I also decided to start producing the podcast myself. So in the end, I gave up a secret I could have kept forever, but what's a little personal growth without a few awkward displays of courage?

Victoria: Butt health—it seems almost too personal to talk about. But let me ask you this. How is it that nature dictates that women must bleed in order to be fertile, engage in sexual intercourse, to make babies, then push humans out of our vagina? And yet all of these topics are considered impolite conversation. And those babies, well, they change our bodies and stuff can get a little inside outwards, if you know what I mean.

But because it's private, a lot of women, and I was one of them, literally grin and bear it for years. And here's another confession for you. I may have created the entire Naked Librarian platform just so I could tell you about Dr. Gardner and the amazi