The Writers' Haven Podcast Christine Wolf

In March of 2022, I discovered through 23andme that I have an older half-sister I never knew existed. I was 53 years old when I made this discovery, and the news came out of the blue for both of us. We’ve spent the past year building and tending to our brand-new sisterhood, and it’s been an eye-opening, loving, and fascinating journey.
When I first learned the news, I didn’t know where to turn, let alone how to describe my circumstances. I was desperate to understand what was happening, and started frantically Googling words that described my circumstances, like “sudden family,” “unexpected family,” “sister I didn’t know I had,” “genetic discovery,” “sudden half-sibling,” “unexpected half-sibling.” It was only when I put the letters “DNA” into a podcast search engine that a door finally opened.
When I landed on the DNA Surprises Podcast, hosted by Alexis Hourselt, I began to fully appreciate this new world we’d stepped into — and how multi-layered and complicated it actually is. I found a community that “gets it”, and I began to breathe a bit easier knowing we were hardly alone.
For this past year, I’ve been learning new terms like NPE (non-paternity event or not parent expected), MPE (misattributed parentage experience), and many more. And though my circumstances don’t fit into ANY of those categories, as the brand new sibling of someone whose circumstances do, I’ve been absorbing everything I can about the dynamics of DNA surprises: watching YouTube videos and webinars; following podcasts; reading books and articles and columns and personal essays; and speaking to others about their DNA experiences.
While my half-sister’s experience is hers to tell (or not), I’ll briefly explain how our DNA surprise has impacted me.
Oftentimes, NPEs and MPEs learn that their biological parent — typically their biological father — is someone other than who they believed or understood them to be. The discovery is stunning on multiple levels and has ripple effects that often leave NPEs and MPEs reeling with emotions and feelings that include shock, anger, confusion, betrayal, grief, and many more.
I am neither an NPE nor an MPE. My DNA surprise didn’t reveal a change or misattribution of my parentage. My DNA discovery was that my biological father had had a relationship with someone other than my mother before I was born, and that a child was conceived from that union, a child who is my (newly-discovered) half-sister.
Our biological father’s identity came as a massive surprise to my half-sister. Genetically speaking, my father is exactly who I always believed him to be. However, morally and behaviorally speaking, I’ve learned that he made choices long ago that were, for lack of a better term, completely “on brand” for a man from whom I’d been estranged for the last 20 years of his life.
Once I discovered the DNA Surprises Podcast, I devoured the episodes, hoping to hear the perspectives of others who identified with situations like mine — and I did. The podcast offers these excellent resources, and Alexis Hourselt shares an approach that’s compassionate, informative, and validating for NPEs AND their families. Here’s a compelling interview with Alexis about her own journey.
Since I’m a writing coach who offers a therapeutic approach to processing difficult memories AND I have an NPE sibling, I reached out to Alexis and offered to lead a workshop in expressive writing during her upcoming DNA Surprise Retreat. She and her cohost welcomed me to their team of facilitators, and I’m thrilled to announce I’ll lead a customized Write To Heal Workshop to support attendees as they continue processing their DNA discoveries.
Whether you’ve been touched by a DNA suprise or not, I hope you enjoy the podcast Alexis recorded of our recent conversation about expressive writing. It offers insight not only about the practice itself, but also about how it supports writers and no

I don’t know what the weather’s like for you today, but for me, the Chicago area’s been cool, cloudy, drizzly, and generally quiet.
As someone who loves being out in the sun, things feel a bit somber today — though I appreciate the gentle raindrops on my windows and the peace that seems to fill the (practically) empty streets and sidewalks.
I’ve been sitting here in my living room (where I usually work these days), reviewing memoir manuscripts as I sip coffee and water, trying not to let my mind wander away from my clients’ important stories.
But today, here in the quiet, I can’t help but think of…
…war.…gun violence.…ongoing racial inequity.…threats to women’s reproductive rights.…mental health, climate, and economic crises.
And it’s in this quiet that I finally understand what I think we’ve been doing all wrong.
I think we don’t get quiet enough.
In many ways, a quiet day like today pulls me back to those early, terrifying months of the pandemic, when uncertainty and fear loomed fierce and large … and when it felt like all we did was limp along and come together with a shared commitment of finding ways that might stop the chaos before it destroyed us first.
I don’t need to remind you that many of our efforts were messy and untested and unfamiliar and uncomfortable and unproven. Still, we tried and we sometimes failed and we always learned — and in so many ways, we found our way through.
I can’t help but wonder why we can’t seem to come together and find solutions for at least ONE of those issues above. It doesn’t just feel like we’re spinning harder and faster and closer to the edge of annhiliation. The truth is, we are.
But we’ve all become so adept at welcoming distractions and deflecting responsibility that we’ve lost sight of the deterioration all around us, impacting every aspect of humanity.
Look, I see you and I get it.
It’s hard to let ourselves get quiet.
It’s hard to tolerate the pain of knowing that these issues aren’t quick fixes…that each one will take a marathon of effort that certainly won’t end in our lifetime.
It’s so much easier to say, “What’s the point?” or “Not my problem!” or “I don’t know where to begin…” or “Others are better suited to deal with these things,” or “I’m not the one who created this mess,” or “It’s just too late.”
It’s so much easier to shame and blame others.
It’s easier to fill our days by scrolling and streaming and shouting and skimming headlines and saying, “Our leaders ought to be doing more!”
The truth is, they’re not doing what needs to be done.
It’s Up To All Of Us
At this point, who or what can possibly save us?
I think we need to get quiet. To sit with the facts. To think deeply about how bad things truly are. To stop waiting for someone to rescue us. To ask ourselves if we want things to continue this way.
And so, let the quiet wash over you now. Then, it’s time to get to work.
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During the pandemic, I received an invitation to appear as a guest on The Check Out Podcast.
Host Jill Schacter envisioned the platform as a way to hear from different voices in the community, discussing our unique lives and describing all the ways our public library fits into them. Launched during the pandemic, Jill created a unique approach to bringing our city together.
During the interview, Jill and I sat at opposite ends of my dining room table while producer Steven Johnson of SJ Connects managed the sound equipment. It felt exciting and scary to welcome someone into my home, especially after feeling so isolated for so long. If memory serves, our episode was one of the first that Jill hosted in-person after the pandemic began.
During our discussion, you won’t hear us mention how nervous we both were about having a face-to-face interview (versus Zoom), or how we spent a few weeks prior to the recording double-checking our safety protocols and logistics. We tried to keep the focus on the interview itself, even as we sat six feet apart wondering if virus particulates were floating around us.
What a pleasure to speak with Jill, and then, later, watch how brilliantly Steve edited everything together! I can only hope to work with someone as talented as Steve on my own podcast!
Here’s the episode description, followed by a transcript of our discussion:The Check OutAn Interview with Christine Wolf Hosted by Jill Schacter
Christine Wolf, a longtime Evanston resident, describes herself as an author and enterprise journalist. She wasn’t always a writer. She’s previously worked in advertising and spent years teaching. About 15 years ago, she decided to write and jumped in with both feet, often exhibiting a good deal of emotional bravery in the kinds of topics she tackles. In this episode, we talk about her writing path, stories that matter to her, and how she engages the community through a career that is now focused on storytelling and making connections that can make a difference. The Evanston Public Library has played an important role in her writing life. Learn more about Christine’s work at christinewolf.com.
TRANSCRIPT
Jill Schacter 0:08
Welcome to the checkout the podcast of Evanston Public Library. I'm Jill Schachter. So what exactly will we be checking out here? This is a podcast celebrating and educating on all things Evanston, including cool people doing amazing things across the diverse spectrum of the Evanston we love. Along the way, you just might learn a little something about the role the library plays in our community.
I'm here today with Christine Wolf, a 23 year Evanston resident. Christine describes herself as an author and enterprise journalist. But Christine wasn't always a writer. She's previously worked in advertising and spent years teaching. But about 15 years ago, she decided she wanted to be a writer and jumped in with both feet, often exhibiting a good dose of bravery in the kinds of topics she takes on. Today, we're going to talk about her writing path, the kinds of stories she likes to tackle, and how she engages the community through a career that is now about storytelling and making connections that can make a difference. Christine, welcome to the checkout.
Christine Wolf 1:23
Thanks, Jill.
Jill Schacter 1:24
So you, you are a bit of a shapeshifter, I would say, first, the ad exec and the preschool teacher and now a writer, can you tell me a little bit about the turning point where you decided, I'm going to be a writer, I'm going to do this?
Christine Wolf 1:42
Oh, absolutely. Thank you for having me. And for asking about my story. I, you know, I have always loved to write. And I started writing in my journal when I was seven, eight years old. And I always go back to that, and I tried on a lot of different types of hats, I suppose. You know, working in business, and then teaching I loved I loved the second one, I wasn't so good in the business world. But after 10 years of

Hi there, and WELCOME to The Writers’ Haven Podcast. I’m Christine Wolf.It’s January 31st, 2022, and this is my very first podcast episode on Substack. Whether you’re a writer, a subscriber, or just curious about what this is, I’m really glad you’re here.And, as you can hear, so far, this podcast is little more than skin and bones. In time, that’ll change, and as I’ve learned through writing — be it blogging, personal essays, magazine articles, newspaper columns, or books — we all start with absolutely nothing except the thoughts in our heads and the initial words to describe them.Therefore, I’m launching this podcast with nothing more than my thoughts and my words. For now, there’s no music. There’s no proprietary intro or outtro. There’s no script. There’s no podcast guest (although I can’t wait for you to hear who we have lined up, including new and established authors and publishing industry professionals). And, though you’re not hearing anything but my voice in this first episode, what I AM offering to you, by way of example, I hope, are the following three things:• 1. The COURAGE to start something absolutely from scratch.• 2. The INSPIRATION to step out of your comfort zone.• 3. My HOPE that you, too, will consider sharing yourself as a creative human being, even if things aren’t perfect, even if your ducks aren’t all in a row, and even if you feel like you don’t know what the hell you’re doing.
Think about this. NONE of us has a script for living life. NONE of our lives are perfect. NONE of us has all of our ducks in a row. And, especially as writers, if we allow ourselves some grace as we consider stepping into unfamiliar spaces, it’s absolutely remarkable what can happen. What happens is, we BEGIN.
And sure… We may falter. We will likely revise. We may even delete things entirely. But we may also surprise ourselves. We may build endurance. We may discover sides to ourselves we didn’t know existed. We may even unearth hidden gems that would have remained in the dark had we not tried.
And so, for this first episode of Writers’ Haven the Podcast, I invite you to consider taking one step today out of your comfort zone, and creating something completely from scratch. Is there a piece you’ve considered writing? Is there a project you’ve put away and want to dust off? Is there a publication you’ve dreamed of writing for, but don’t know where to begin? Do you have endless thoughts and insecurity swirling in your head about what you “might” write, but you don’t have a gameplan or the confidence to move forward? If so, I and many others, completely understand.Let me point to this podcast as a perfect example of how to do what you think you can’t.
I’ve wanted to podcast for a long time now, and I even tried my hand at one a few years ago, and recorded 5 episodes, all of which were poorly produced (by ME). They were really pretty awful. If you want a good laugh, Google The Christine Wolf Podcast and I’m sure you can find some of the episodes. My intentions were all there, but my skill level and experience with podcasting just absolutely sucked. It still does…but I’m trying.
And I’m here again, starting fresh, with a stronger focus on who my ideal audience is and what I’d like to talk about.
What I want to do with this podcast is build a community of writers of all levels of experience to gather, listen, share, commiserate, and ultimately lift each other up.
I want to understand how the best writers approach their work, and how they struggle.
I want to hear the questions new writers have, and reassure them that this journey is completely worth it.
I want to create a safe and welcoming space for writers everwhere, examining our real lives and sharing them through essays, interviews, tips, and always with raw vulnerability.And so, the best way I can think to kick off this first episode, is to read an essay I first wrote in October of 2016. I was