Your Hope-Filled Perspective with Dr. Michelle Bengtson podcast Dr. Michelle Bengtson

Episode Summary: 
Do you constantly compare yourself with others? On social media, in your neighborhood, at church, or in the school drop-off lane, do you push yourself to prove that you measure up . . . and then feel ashamed when you don’t? Measuring yourself against others isn’t healthy. And it isn’t God’s plan. In fact, the way of Jesus is completely upside down from this measure-up world. He invites us to follow him and be restored to freedom, confidence, and joy. Join me with Shannon Popkin as we address how to stop comparing yourself to others.

Quotables from the episode:
The constant effort to prove that I measure up (or try to hide when I don’t), does not lead to a life of freedom and joy. Here’s what does: learning to live me-free. At its root, comparison places value on our differences. Comparison is really a pride issue—it keeps us focused on ourselves. When we compare ourselves to others, we focus on how we measure up (or don’t) like lines on a measuring glass. But Jesus points out the spout—that place where we pour out on others. Comparison 1) distracts me from my purpose; 2) depletes my productivity, and 3) destroys our potential. When we fall prey to comparison, we need to ask ourselves “Is this something Jesus would say to me?” Comparison is a tactic of the enemy, whether we are comparing our appearance, our status, our sin, or even our ministry for Jesus to others’. Humility is a key to combatting comparison. Comparison is often bred because we don’t desire to be “less than” others, but in God’s economy those who are the least, are considered the greatest. There is NO exclusivity in the kingdom of God. Healthy comparison includes those times we are inspired and learn from others, and are then encouraged to be and do what I am uniquely called to do. Comparison divides us and causes us to back away, when God is calling us to move toward him! When tempted to compare yourself to others, ask yourself “who am I listening to?” Scripture says “my sheep know my voice,” so be sure you are listening for God’s voice.  
Scripture References:
Philippians 2:5-7 ESV Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus,[a] 6 who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped,[b] 7 but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant James 3:14-15 ESV But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. 15 This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. Matthew 20:26-27 ESV But whoever would be great among you must be your servant,[c] 27 and whoever would be first among you must be your slave,[d] 28 even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve,   
Recommended Resources: 
Comparison Girl: Lessons from Jesus on Me-Free Living in a Measure-Up World by Shannon Popkin Control Girl by Shannon Popkin The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out to God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms   Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals YouVersion 7-Day Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day YouVersion 7-Day Devotional, Today is Going to be Another Good Day Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free 7-Day YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, win

Episode Summary: 
This world is demanding, especially when we shoulder the burdens of our family, friends, and work—as well as the heaviness of world events. So we often feel overwhelmed, stuck, afraid, and believe we are never enough. If we aren’t careful, we can build walls that hinder us from thriving in who God created us to be.
In this episode, we discuss what is holding you back? I’m excited to talk to Krissy Nelson who shares from her own story and will help us identify some of the most common walls that hold us back. She draws from biblical stories and truth to give us spiritual and practical tools to bring those walls down, rediscover a vibrant life of joy and move forward from weary survival to daily revival through Jesus.

Quotables from the episode:
Questioning our identity in Christ is an attack from the enemy. He aims to bog us down in defeat, insecurity, perfectionism and shame so we cannot thrive in who God says we are. We are His revived, beautiful, vibrant children. We are full of life and hope and called to live joy-in-Jesus lives. We build walls around us that actually hold us back; walls like insecurity, fear of failure, doing too much. Insecurity allows us to see God move in our life. We need an encounter with our King Jesus in which our hearts are revived all over again and the walls boxing us in crumble to the ground. Faith is key to moving past what holds you back. You are valuable and are not alone in your struggle. Talking to Jesus and exposing the lies you’re fighting to your community and family—even starting with one person—starts a new pattern of freedom, community, and connection. Once we shatter the lies that hold us back, we have to keep from rebuilding them.  
Scripture References:
Romans 12:2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Philippians 4:6-7  Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.  
Recommended Resources: 
Say Goodbye to What Holds You Back: Shatter the Walls Surrounding You and Believe What God Says About You by Krissy Nelson  The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out to God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms   Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals YouVersion 7-Day Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day YouVersion 7-Day Devotional, Today is Going to be Another Good Day Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free 7-Day YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Trusting God Through Cancer 1 Trusting God Through Cancer 2 Revive & Thrive Women's Conference Subdue Stress and Anxiet

Episode Summary:
Grief and loss are hard. When we suffer loss, we enter the realm of “used to be.” We used to be married. Used to be employed. Used to be pregnant, secure, healthy, sober, or thin. We used to be a son or daughter, a brother or a sister, a mother or father, a wife or a husband. And in that used-to-be space there is deep emptiness, loneliness, and sorrow. It’s a place they dwell for a while. But it’s not a place we are meant to remain. Maybe you “used to be” something—but there is a future waiting when you “will be” once more. Join me on Thursday’s podcast with Chuck and Ashley Elliott as we talk about how to cope with loss.
 
Quotables from the episode:
"He [God] has given us His Word, and we can hold on to what it says, even when our emotions or our reality screams that God is absent. "  "We cannot completely control our world, but we can change our behavior. It’s amazing how much our behavior positively or negatively affects everything around us, especially our perception of the world."  “Where I am in my story is only temporary.” “In God’s silence, I grew in seeing God’s faithfulness.” “Faith is holding on when you want to give up.” “Grief lies to us and tells us that we are alone, that we need to isolate, and even that God is disappointed in us.” “Spiritual Dissonance is when you believe God is good, but then when something bad happens we wonder if he is good. “Anger is a common response in grief, because grief feels like your power has been stripped away, and anger makes us feel strong and powerful again.” “Underneath anger are often fear, loneliness, despair, and jealousy.” "Sometimes it feels easier to change our beliefs about God rather than do the emotional, spiritual, and physical work necessary to explore the dissonance."  "Grieving people need connection, especially to Jesus. And Jesus stood in our place and is now allowing us to stand in His place, representing Him to those who are hurting."  "Give yourself permission to grieve, even at work."  “We can thrive after loss, building mental stability. It’s normal to feel abnormal after loss! It’s what we do next that determines whether or not we leave a legacy!” “A relationship with God is more fulfilling than anything we lost.”  
Scripture References:
Psalm 84:6 (NLT) says, “When they walk through the Valley of Weeping, it will become a place of refreshing springs.” Psalm 84:6 (NLT) says, “When they walk through the Valley of Weeping, it will become a place of refreshing springs.”  
Recommended Resources: 
I Used to be___: How to Navigate Large and Small Losses in Life and Find Your Path Forward by Chuck and Ashley Elliott The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out to God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms   Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals YouVersion 7-Day Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day YouVersion 7-Day Devotional, Today is Going to be Another Good Day Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free 7-Day YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Trusting God Through Cancer 1 Trusting God Through Cancer 2 Revive & Thrive Women's Conference Subdue Stress and Anxiety: Fifteen Experts Offer Comprehensive Tools

Episode Summary:
In the past month or so, we’ve been focused on conversations around the types of pain that I wrote about in The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out to God When Pain Overwhelms. No conversation regarding the pain we experience in this life is complete without a discussion about grief and loss. Susan Duke and I talk about recovery from grief. Susan shares how she learned to grieve forward by taking small, practical steps to face and process her grief, while refusing to allow loss to keep her from embracing life. God does heal and restore. There is life and purpose beyond loss.
 
Quotables from the episode:
Grieving forward gives us the permission to continue living life while grieving. In grief, you never get to the point in grief that you fully arrive, but you move forward. You can grieve and embrace life simultaneously. You don’t ever truly get over grief—you get through it with God’s help. We are not human beings living in a spiritual world, we are spiritual beings living in a human world. Love is the invisible bridge between heaven and earth.  
Scripture References:
Matthew 5:4 “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” Revelation 21:4 “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” Recommended Resources: 
Grieving Forward: Embracing Life Beyond Loss by Susan Duke  The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out to God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms   Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals YouVersion 7-Day Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day YouVersion 7-Day Devotional, Today is Going to be Another Good Day Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free 7-Day YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Trusting God Through Cancer 1 Trusting God Through Cancer 2 Revive & Thrive Women's Conference Subdue Stress and Anxiety: Fifteen Experts Offer Comprehensive Tools in Ten Minutes a Day. Use my link plus discount code BENG99 to save $90 on course (course will be $99.) Free Download: How To Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win  
Social Media Links for Guest and Host:
Connect with Susan Duke:
Instagram / Facebook / Facebook Group
For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at:
Order Book Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails  /  Website  /  Blog  /  Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson)  /  LinkedIn  /  Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube
Guest:
When Susan Duke’s teenage son was tragically killed, she found herself staggering through the painfully dark and unfamiliar valley of grief. As she faced the most profound challenge of her life, there were moments Susan questioned everything she’d ever believed—even her faith. 
 
Through enormous struggle and determination, Susan eventually found the pathway out of the “valley of the shadow” of grief.  By GRIEVING FORWARD —taking small, practical steps to face and process her grief, and by refusing to allow loss to keep her from embracing life—Susan experienced God’s healing and restoration. As a survivor of unspeakable grief, her life is the evidence that there is life and purpose beyond loss.

Episode Summary: 
Everyone knows the sting of physical pain whether it’s a broken arm, a toothache, or a torn ligament. Recently we’ve discussed physical, emotional, relational, and spiritual pain. Perhaps less discussed is Secondary Pain: pain that comes from the words or actions of others, that makes us feel worse when we are already experiencing one of the other types of pain. Join me with my husband, Scott Bengtson, for a discussion on what to do when someone hurts you emotionally.

Quotables from the episode:
Secondary pain is that painful experience caused by the words or actions of others, either intentional or unintentional, that worsens the pain we already fight. Frequently secondary pain comes in the form of blame or criticism, even if well-intentioned. People often mean well and are well-intentioned and don’t realize how what they say or do will be received by the pain sufferer. Secondary pain often results from comments that minimize or shame the pain sufferer such as, “This too shall end,” “Others have it worse than you,” or “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” These suggestions that are offered as a panacea for our pain or as a glib dismissal are received in a way that makes the pain sufferer feel inept, incompetent, and guilty. Any consideration of secondary pain must include those instances where others say or do nothing, even if their heart is to avoid saying or doing the wrong thing, because that makes the one enduring pain feel unseen, unloved, and uncared for. We choose whether or not to pick up an offense. Especially since we’re talking about being hurt when we are already dealing with pain, forgiveness is crucial in order to avoid complicating our pain. Assume the best, but forgive nonetheless. God reminds us in Romans 12 to never avenge ourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, because vengeance is his. Scripture References:
Romans 12:17-18 Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Matthew 5:44 “But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” Romans 12:21 “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”  
Recommended Resources: 
The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out to God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms   Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals YouVersion 7-Day Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day YouVersion 7-Day Devotional, Today is Going to be Another Good Day Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free 7-Day YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Trusting God Through Cancer 1 Trusting God Through Cancer 2 Revive & Thrive Women's Conference Subdue Stress and Anxiety: Fifteen Experts Offer Comprehensive Tools in Ten Minutes a Day. Use my link plus discount code BENG99 to save $90 on course (course will be $99.) Free Download: How To Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win  
Social Media Links for Guest and Host:
For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at:
Order Book Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails  /  Website  /  Blog  /  Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson)  /  LinkedIn  /  Instagram / Pinteres

Episode Summary: 
Spiritual pain can be an emotionally distressing experience, however, it is often overlooked. Sometimes our belief systems and connection to God can be disrupted, causing anguish, and leaving us feeling abandoned or punished. Join me on the podcast with Aliene Thompson as we discuss what to do when God is silent and how to heal spiritual pain.
Most people can identify with physical pain. We’ve all been there…a broken leg, a cracked tooth, sunburn. But there are other less discussed types of pain that cause just as much or more damage in people’s lives. In my book The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out to God When Pain Overwhelms, I discuss physical pain, emotional pain, relational pain, spiritual pain, grief and loss, and even secondary pain caused by the words or actions of others that makes any of the other kinds of pain worse. Spiritual pain is discussed much less frequently than the other types of pain, but is important to discuss.

Quotables from the episode:
Spiritual pain is discussed much less frequently than the other types of pain, but is important to discuss. Spiritual pain is considered a disruption in one’s belief system or their sense of relationship to God. Spiritual pain, discomfort, or angst may accompany those times in our life when we feel like God has abandoned us, turned his back on us, punished us, or simply allowed instances into our life for which we see no redeeming quality. These perspectives cause us to feel uncomfortably distanced from God and distressed by that sense of distance. It is possible that someone may experience one of those other types first and then also spiritual pain, which is considered compounded pain. We live very ego-centric lives; it’s all about us. We want answers yesterday. We are very pain averse. When pain becomes our focus, it becomes very loud and distracting…making it harder to focus on God, so he seems silent. Maybe God uses these times of spiritual pain to teach us how dependent we are on him. God can handle our blame, questions, and emotions. In Scripture, when God says to “Be still and know I am God,” we tend to look at being still as being quiet. But the Hebrew meaning of that has a connotation of surrendering to God and recognizing that He is in control even when we can’t see what he’s doing. Scripture says to “draw near to me, and I will draw near to you.” God is a gentleman. He won’t force himself on us. But if God seems silent, and you want to heal spiritual pain, you get to take the first step.  
Scripture References:
Psalm 28:1 (A Psalm of David) “To You, O Lord, I call; My rock, do not be deaf to me, For if You are silent to me, I will become like those who go down to the pit.” Psalm 83:1 (A Psalm of Asaph) “O God, do not remain quiet; Do not be silent and, O God, do not be still.” Psalm 109:1 (Psalm of David) “O God of my praise, Do not be silent!” Isaiah 64:12 “Will You restrain Yourself at these things, O Lord? Will You keep silent and afflict us beyond measure?” Zephaniah 3:17 “The Lord your God is in your midst, A victorious warrior. He will exult over you with joy, He will be quiet in His love, He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy.  
Recommended Resources: 
The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out to God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms   Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals YouVersion 7-Day Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day YouVersion 7-Day Devotional, Today is Going to be Another Good Day Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free St