You're Welcome is a satirical improv comedy show whose goal is to find and share peoples stories, from all over the world.
Each episode is unique and can range from 5 minutes to an hour, and will feature a brand new topic usually with someone Zoe has just met. This podcast is not for the faint of heart, buckle up.
ABOUT YOU'RE WELCOME
Like most brilliant ideas, this show was started over a molotov concoction of alcohol and various illicit substances. Zoe had given up on her life long dream, of being the female Howard Stern years ago but finally set out armed with a folding table, a couple lawn chairs, and a foam board sign that read "Free Sex Advice." One by one strangers stopped what they were doing and sat down to talk to them about their lives.
We'd like to take this moment to thank you for coming to our site and leave you with the eternal words of Oscar Wilde:
"I was under the impression that inordinate joviality can atone for an entire lack of class"
This show is done for one reason only, to bring laughter and remind you that we are all the same.
ORAL FIXATION TV
Hey guys! After many many years in the podcasting game, 3 failed TV show pilots, one cancelled Audible Original series and 275 podcast episodes I am finally making my OWN DIY TV Series called ORAL FIXATION!
I'm in South Beach Miami shooting it, and let me tell you, it's some of the weirdest, wildest work I've ever done. This place is like instagram in 5D, sims city matrix pretend world and I've been out in the streets capturing all of it's literal insanity every day and I need YOUR help to fund it!
So go to patreon.com/oralfixation and you'll have access for 5 dollars a month or more to all my upcoming new content!! @oralfixation.tv on Instagram and Tik Tok, i'll be posting short teasers there for all the full content that will be available on Patreon! Help me, help my mother, by keeping my cervix off the internet, I've embarrassed her enough already.
Lets Go Smoke Psychedelic Toad!
Have you heard of psychedelic toad? NO? Where the deviled egg have you been? Comparable to the likes of ayahuasca, psilocybin mushrooms, and mescaline, this natural medicine comes from a rare species of toad native to the Sonoran Desert, Bufo Alvarius. They produce a venom known as 5-MeO-DMT: an extremely potent natural psychedelic. 5-MeO-DMT is about six times more powerful than its better-known cousin DMT (dimethyltryptamine).
The 5 MeO is extracted by catching these slow fat giant toads and squeezing them like a stress ball until the toad’s toxic venom glands burst like high school pimple and then dehydrating the pus into a crumbly dry paste. You then smoke this in what would usually be referred to as a crack pipe with what looks like a mini blow torch and are then blasted off to the candy store of the universe.
Shamans throughout Mexico and the southwestern US have been harvesting and smoking the substance for decades, but has recently become as popular as Tickle Me Elmo in December of 1996.
Individuals that have taken the toad venom described their trips as being one with the universe and feeling “reborn," and a unique connection to god and collective consciousness.
Users experience prismatic colors, euphoria, sacred geometry, and recursive patterns. After inhalation the medicine often leaves users as mobile as roadkill and as responsive to questions as a tween on their iphone.
While I was in Oaxaca City, I found a woman who was administering Buffo ceremonies and decided to bring my two besties Dr. Zandra Palma and Jordan Lejuwaan to see just how far this rabbit hole goes.
What followed was completely insane and this episode was recorded during the ceremony.
These medicines should not be taken lightly, taking them requires users to go into it with the intention to heal. It's not a drug, it's a religious experience.
So, without further ado, I present to you Zoe vs. Toad, round 1.
RIP Party Monster
It makes sense to me that Michael Alig, the notorious Party Monster, King of the Club Kids has passed away on Christmas. When I woke up to this news a million different feelings washed over my body...but mostly it was deep sadness. Addiction is a thing that claims lives every second and something that has blackened many parts of my life. Goodbye MIchael. I will never forget you.
This is a re-post of a live show I did with him in 2017.
I met Michael shortly after he was released from Prison for his 1996 murder of Angel Melendez. For some background, this is the same man whose life that the 2003 movie Party Monster was based off of. He was a brilliant Pied Piper who was able to create a social movement that swept over the nation calling small town rejects and societal misfits to join he's legion of worshipers called the "Club Kids."
Reviled by some, worshiped by others, he's like the trump of 90's. As someone who intimately knows the New York Party scene, let me tell you the kind of charisma and raw unique creative chutzpah this takes. It can only happen with a brilliant, ruthless visionary with a calculator brain. Every single person I know whose above 35 got their party flippers wet at Limelight, or Tunnel. HE wasn't a to start monster, he was a God, for years.
Then he fell, like Icarus, into the abyss not be be seen or heard for 17 years. He was in solitary confinement for years, and managed to stay on heroin, due to the prison guards slipping him heroin into his sell with his food.
So in 2017, I was able to host a live show at the Marcy North and interview him about his life, speak with his family and friends, and provide some light into what a world soaked in heroin and solitary confinement would be like.
We spoke endlessly, about life, prison, addiction, redemption, his art, he's dreams and his nightmares.
Michael is a rainbow of colors. He has a kind of brutal honesty through his humor that can be sharp and cutting, while being dull and blunt. He reminded me constantly of the Cheshire cat from Alice and Wonderland, both hands pointed in opposite directions whenever I would try to ask him about difficult subjects.
We are all chasing a different white rabbit that is represented in our different addictions, whether helpful or harmful. We are all playing hide and seek with the ultimately elusive meta concept of "happiness." We are all constantly scraping up and crashing against each other, harming ourselves and others to varying degrees.
The question becomes not if we will harm others it's merely when? Subsequently, how can you ever atone, when the repercussions of your mistakes leave lasting scars on the ones your love, your community, and the world. Furthermore what's really tricky is even if you’re absolved judicially, how do you forgive yourself?
I don't claim to answer any of these questions. All i can do is ask them, and when I make mistakes try to put one foot in front of the other, find news ways to live my life, as my mother always says, with gentle loving kindness.
Throughout this journey I kept two quotes in mind:
From My Neck So Free The Albatross fell off, and Sank Like Lead Into The Sea
Dorthy: OZ we're you frightened?
Oz: Frightened? Child you're talking to a man who's laughed in the face of death, sneered at doom, and chuckled at catastrophe, I was petrified
Thank you to Zev and Gadi for allowing me to do the live show at their beautiful Marcy North Hotel in Williamsburg.
Thank you to David Herman, and Emily Brodtman who helped me weave this story together.
Songs: Neil Diamond: Damage Done
Is A Pearl Necklace - The Perfect Holiday Gift?
Happy Holidays everyone!
I would be merry, but I am Hebrew... just kidding..! I long ago got over my anger about being a lonely Jewess on Christmas and have embraced a happier outlook on what always seemed to me to be the most superficial gift based pagan nonsense imaginable...so in that spirit....
I have a holiday treat for you right in time to slide into your Christmas trees DM's. It's a compilation of my favorite, most uncomfortable moments that I recorded (mostly secretly) of my parents.
My parents were both born in 1944, and grew up in very proper, Super Jew families. My mother to me always seemed like a person who got transported directly from a sock hop and never quite fit into modern times.
She never said bad words, never talked about sex, never talked about anything remotely off color...and I was born...hmm how do I put this, a red eyed, spikey tailed devil creature...it's taken me a long time to become more like my mother and whats weird is the more I become like her, the more she seems to become like me! Apple vs. Tree...boy, mother daughter relationships are tricky!
But my parents weren't as innocent as I imagined, and over the years the let slip that they too had a bit of a sordid past...good thing I was always recording them and was able to catch these moments and preserve them in little amber audio clips...hurray!
So, I have literally 100's of hours of us teaching each other over the years..and yes, I will be making more of them because let's face it, they are the best of me, and they make me laugh so hard I can barely breathe.
Wherever you are in the world, I know this is a very bad, no good, terrible time for families...and I send you the biggest hug and the advice my mother always gives me when I'm feeling blue... just put one foot in front of the other, take a deep breath, and continue to act with gentle loving kindness to the world around you.
This too shall pass.
I LOVE YOU MOM AND DAD THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING - I am sorry I am/was so obnoxious, thank you for loving me despite me.
Music - I'm a Lonely Jew on Christmas Instrumental - Matt Stone and Trey Parker
More photos and videos will be posted in my website of me and my family struggling to find reasons to like each other over the years!
The Panty Dropping Pediatrician
Introducing, Usama Siddiquee! A gloriously raunchy, bright eyed and extremely bushy-tailed comedy superstar - who was born in Canada and raised in a part of Texas that probably could very well have inspired scenes from Deliverance, and raised a Muslim - so you can imagine he has a particular view point on what it takes to make it out alive of middle school and succeed it in this racial utopia we call the United States.
I met him when he was doing stand up at a socially distant comedy show at Cooper Park in 30 degree weather, and I thought his particular brand of comedy and crowd control was so impressive I decided to invite him to my home and find out just exactly how far his rabbit hole goes down.
AND DOWN WE WENT. Off like a herd of mentally challenged sea turtles trying to lay their eggs on particularly steep sand dune, we tackled many topics such as rubber gloved, direct eye contact handies in public, not having literally a pot to piss in/crashing in crack homes in the tuchus hole of Brooklyn to save money....barking like a rabid chihuahua for comedy shows, where the payment for your thankless work mirrors Spanish inquisition torture...making your father have slow fat tears run down his cheeks/having your mother throw pots at you, and all the bloody sweat and long nights that come with go after the world's most unforgiving profession.
I adored him, and you will too! Enjoy!
You can follow him at
Check out all his youtube clips of his stint on AGT here:
And listen to his podcast, Mango Bae here:
As always you can follow me
My website: www.zoenightingale.com
Happy Holidays errrrybody!
Music: Noah Lampert - check out all his work at www.syncpod.net
America, F**K YEAH!
Greeting and salutations my fair weather friends, apologies for my absence, but I needed to take a break from my own brain and reorient my north star. However, I'm back!
This is my first humble offering, coverage of the best day of all time, the day that Joe Biden officially won the presidency, and NYC erupted into actual flames of celebration.
In my life, I have never seen this kind of joy. The moment he won, I swear to you, squeals, shrieks, honks, pots and pans clanging, laughter, screams, sirens all instantaneously rolled through NYC like a thunderous cloud blanketing every ear drum in jubliant glee.
So, I bought 8 mid priced champagnes, put on a red white and blue outfit, painted stars in my face, put on my F**K TRUMP NO LUBE camouflage trucker hat that I made in times square in 2016, powered up my recorders and hit the streets.
I must have gone to every bourough in the city. I was completely wasted by 12 pm. Like first day of freshman year, keg stand, girls gone wild blatto blasted. So, please expect the timber of my voice to be, how do I put it nicely...like a phone sex operator who smokes newport 100's back to back while verberally jerking off married men from Kansas.
I'm not proud of it, but I yam what I yam, and unfortunetly for you, this is not my best work. What's worse is that I did like 100 more interviews only to realize that my card had been full the whole time. Just sloppy journalism all around. BUT, this was just the most beautiful day.
The dancing, the joy, the tears of relief made the air electric and the day finalized in a burning man like mega rave in McCarren park where we danced until the sun came up. It was magic baby.
Anyway, the goal is not to go to brunch. The goal is to continue to fight for the world we want to live in and cleanse ourselves of the last four years, try to eek out a little dignity and restore our country to some semblance of the dream it is supposed to represent.
Keep fighting, stay vigilant everyone. All eyes on our you Georgia, make us proud.
PS: Shout out to my loves Sean and Cass from the Very Ape podcast who are featured on this episode. I LOVE YOU TO THE MOON AND BACK. Check out all their awesome work at www.veryape.tv
@drznightingale = insta
@genuinelyfalse = twitter
www.zoenightingale.com = website
Artwork by @danadrewdles
America, Team World Police - Matt Stone/Trey Parker
Sync 84 - Noah Lampert - check out his amazing podcast at www.syncpod.com
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Couldn’t stop listening
This is simply the best. Addictive amazing inspiring
A rare talent. Zoe's an inspired observer of the world around us. Don't be afraid to binge. Her early episodes are gripping.
Nobody does it like Zoe
There isn’t anyone making a show like this—a balm for all of us freaks. Smart, sexy and funny af, exploring the edges. Love you, Z!