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When author and podcast host Nora McInerny found herself forming a blended family with a new partner not long after the death of her first husband, she had to leave behind any plans she thought she had.

As a young actor in Hollywood, Jenifer Lewis never planned on starting a family. But since then she’s played some of the most influential mother roles on TV and in movies. Along the way she’s found many different ways to mother.

In many ways, Drag Superstar Sasha Velour’s Drag Mothers were her grandmas, who encouraged her exploration of drag at a young age. The lessons she learned from them inform her approach to mentoring other drag queens today.

ESPN host Elle Duncan planned her two pregnancies meticulously, just like she planned her career as a sports anchor. But, health complications with her second child forced her to confront the inescapable uncertainty of parenting.

When the desire to have kids never kicked in, sociologist Dr. Amy Blackstone thought there was something wrong with her. When she turned to her profession for answers, she learned that “maternal instinct” is largely a myth.

Comedian Negin Farsad’s parents never pressured her to have kids. But when her dad told a story about her own birth that she’d never heard before, she felt a surprising sense of duty to continue her family’s line in America.