I was a Teenage Fundamentalist. An Exvangelical podcast.

Brian McDowell, Troy Waller
  • 4.7 (117)
  • RELIGION
  • UPDATED FORTNIGHTLY
I was a Teenage Fundamentalist. An Exvangelical podcast.

Brian and Troy used to be loyal Christian megachurch leaders. They’re not anymore. This podcast explores life in and after fundamentalism.

  1. 22 HRS AGO

    125 - Let's Go to Hillsong!

    In this episode, we visit Hillsong's mothership in Baulkham Hills so you don't have to! We unpack the atmosphere, the music, the offering, the supposed miracles, the sermon and the continued exploitation of volunteers. Join us as we reflect on the evolving, yet somehow still familiar landscape of the 'new' Hillsong and its diminishing impact on those of us who have left the faith. Key takeaways: Atmosphere and Scale: Hillsong's grand scale and corporate feel can be both impressive and overwhelming, reflecting its status as a mega church.Volunteer Involvement: The church relies heavily on volunteers, highlighting the importance of community involvement in its operations.Sermon Analysis: Pastor Robert Ferguson's sermon emphasized movement and miracles, but raised questions about interpretation and relevance for exvangelicals.Cultural Diversity: The diverse congregation at Hillsong showcases the church's broad appeal and the changing demographics of modern Christianity.Community Connection: Despite the large scale, the sense of community and belonging remains a strong draw for attendees.Comparative Reflections: The visit prompted reflections on past church experiences and the evolution of evangelical practices.Emotional Responses: The service evoked a range of emotions, from nostalgia to skepticism, among those familiar with evangelical culture.Impact on Exvangelicals: The experience highlighted the ongoing influence of mega churches and their role in the faith journeys of those who have left.  --- We're now on video on YouTube here. Want more? Check out our exclusive Patreon episodes here. Our blog is here. Join the conversation and connect with others here. The transcript of this episode is here. All our other links are here.  Doubting your beliefs? Have questions about changing or leaving your faith? You are not alone, and Recovering from Religion is here to help.

    1h 30m

  2. 27 JUNE

    124 - Amy Semple McPherson, the First Evangelical Megastar with Claire Hoffman

    Troy and Brian chat with journalist and author Claire Hoffman about her book Sister Sinner, which explores the life and mysterious disappearance of Aimee Semple McPherson, a pioneering figure in American evangelicalism and Pentecostalism. The discussion covers Claire's own upbringing in a transcendental meditation community and then explores the complexities of McPherson's life, her scandalous disappearance, and the impact of fame on religious figures. The conversation also reflects on the nature of celebrity, the challenges of historical narratives in religion, and the importance of embracing the complexities of human experience. Links: Claire Hoffman – Author & JournalistSister, SinnerGreetings from Utopia ParkTakeaways Claire Hoffman grew up in a transcendental meditation community.Amy Semple McPherson was a pioneer of modern evangelicalism.The scandal surrounding McPherson's disappearance was unprecedented.McPherson's life reflects the complexities of fame and faith.The podcast discusses the importance of historical narratives in religion.Outrage against public figures often overshadows their contributions.Celebrity culture in religion has deep historical roots.Hoffman's book aims to present a balanced view of McPherson's life.The conversation highlights the role of community in shaping religious leaders.Hoffman is working on a novel about a yoga sex cult. --- We're now on video on YouTube here. Want more? Check out our exclusive Patreon episodes here. Our blog is here. Join the conversation and connect with others here. The transcript of this episode is here. All our other links are here.  Doubting your beliefs? Have questions about changing or leaving your faith? You are not alone, and Recovering from Religion is here to help.

    1h 11m
  3. 2025 Trailer: I was a Teenage Fundamentalist

    14 JUNE

    2025 Trailer: I was a Teenage Fundamentalist

    Brian & Troy used to be loyal megachurch leaders. They’re not anymore. This podcast explores life in and after Christian Fundamentalism. --- We're now on video on YouTube here. Want more? Check out our exclusive Patreon episodes here. Our blog is here. Join the conversation and connect with others here. The transcript of this episode is here. All our other links are here.  Doubting your beliefs? Have questions about changing or leaving your faith? You are not alone, and Recovering from Religion is here to help.

    1 min

  4. 13 JUNE

    123 - Shame Sex Attraction with Dr Luke Wilson

    We engage in a deep conversation with Luke Wilson, a Canadian scholar, about his experiences growing up in a fundamentalist environment and the impact of conversion therapy on LGBTQ+ individuals. Luke shares his journey from being a teenage fundamentalist to confronting his sexuality, his time at Liberty University, and the harrowing experiences of conversion therapy. The discussion highlights the psychological and emotional toll of these practices, the importance of community support, and the need for awareness and advocacy against conversion therapy. Luke's book, 'Shame Sex Attraction: Survivor Stories of Conversion Therapy,' serves as a powerful testament to the resilience of survivors and the continuing but urgent need for change in church attitudes towards LGBTQ+ individuals. Where to get Shame-Sex Attraction In AustraliaIn the U.S.In the U.K. Luke on social media: Instagram: @lukeslamdunkwilsonThreads: @lukeslamdunkwilsonBluesky: @lukeslamdunkwilson.bsky.socialTwitter/X: @wilson_fwLinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/lucas-wilson-2a0753b1/Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/luke.wilson.96List of Books/Resources Brandan Robertson's Queer & Christian: Reclaiming the Bible, Our Faith, and Our Place at the TableMatthew Vines' God and the Gay Christian: The Biblical Case in Support of Same-Sex RelationshipsJustin Lee's Torn: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays-vs.-Christians DebateLinks:Takeaways Luke was raised in a Fellowship Evangelical Baptist environment.He became involved in the church during high school.His family had a mix of religious beliefs, influencing his journey.Luke's youth group experience was shaped by his desire for acceptance.He felt pressure to conform to religious expectations regarding his sexuality.Luke attended Liberty University, a prominent evangelical institution.He was heavily involved in campus activities and leadership roles.The church provided a way for Luke to mask his sexuality.He reflects on the challenges of reconciling faith and identity.Luke's academic work focuses on the harms of conversion therapy. Luke studied English, French, and history at Liberty University.Liberty University is heavily involved in conservative politics.Conversion therapy is framed as pastoral counseling at Liberty.Luke's plan was to pray the gay away through conversion therapy.He felt he had one foot in and one foot out of the church.Luke experienced a flirty advance from his spiritual life director.He wrote poetry to cope with his feelings of shame.Conversion therapy aimed to change sexual orientation and gender identity.The aftermath of conversion therapy led to self-hatred and shame.Deprogramming from conversion therapy takes significant mental energy. Showering became a sign of anxiety for many in conversion therapy.Shame is a common consequence of conversion therapy experiences.There are diverse yet unifying factors in conversion therapy stories.Some stories from conversion therapy are shocking and visceral.Conversion practices are often motivated by genocidal intentions.The impact of conversion therapy extends to identity and community.Community support is crucial for those affected by conversion therapy.The book aims to affirm survivors and raise awareness about conversion practices.Intervening against conversion therapy involves unconditional love and support.Finding community as ex-Christians can be a healing process. --- We're now on video on YouTube here. Want more? Check out our exclusive Patreon episodes here. Our blog is here. Join the conversation and connect with others here. The transcript of this episode is here. All our other links are here.  Doubting your beliefs? Have questions about changing or leaving your faith? You are not alone, and Recovering from Religion is here to help.

    1h 25m

  5. 30 MAY

    122 - The Continuing Story of Jonas James

    In this episode, Troy welcomes Ryan James, and together they tell the story of his brother Jonas James and his struggles with identity, music, drugs and Christianity. They explore the complexities of family dynamics, childhood trauma, and the impact of mental health on Jonas' journey. The conversation explores a complex individual who navigated various phases of spirituality, community, and personal struggles. Ultimately, it reflects on Jonas, his journey, the lessons learned, and the legacy he almost left behind. Links: Jonas James on YouTubePhotos of Jonas  --- We're now on video on YouTube here. Want more? Check out our exclusive Patreon episodes here. Our blog is here. Join the conversation and connect with others here. The transcript of this episode is here. All our other links are here.  Doubting your beliefs? Have questions about changing or leaving your faith? You are not alone, and Recovering from Religion is here to help.

    2h 5m

  6. 16 MAY

    121 - Gutsy Girls with Josie McSkimming

    In this episode, Troy and Brian welcome Josie McSkimming, and discuss her new memoir, 'Gutsy Girls: Love, Poetry and Sisterhood.' The conversation delves into Josie's experiences growing up in a volatile family environment, her journey through fundamentalism, and the influence of her sister, renowned poet Dorothy Porter. They explore themes of resistance, creativity, and the complexities of family dynamics, particularly in the context of trauma and fundamentalist Christianity. Josie shares insights on the importance of self-acceptance and offers advice for women navigating their own paths after leaving fundamentalist backgrounds. Links: Gutsy Girls | UQPGutsy Girls | AmazonLeaving Christian Fundamentalism and the Reconstruction of IdentityJosie McSkimming | Sydney Eastern Suburbs Counselling ServicesJosie on Ep 25 of this podcast in 2021Josie on a Patreon Live call in 2023The Fiery Maze - Album by Tim Finn | Spotify  --- We're now on video on YouTube here. Want more? Check out our exclusive Patreon episodes here. Our blog is here. Join the conversation and connect with others here. The transcript of this episode is here. All our other links are here.  Doubting your beliefs? Have questions about changing or leaving your faith? You are not alone, and Recovering from Religion is here to help.

    1h 21m

  7. 2 MAY

    120 - Apostate with Sarah Bacaller

    In this episode, Troy and Brian engage with Sarah Bacaller, editor of the book, 'Apostate: Stories of Deconversion'. They explore Sarah's background in fundamentalism, her academic pursuits in philosophy, and her reflections on the ethical implications of church authority. The discussion delves into personal narratives of deconversion, the impact of evangelical theology on mental health, and the importance of critical thinking in faith contexts. Sarah shares her complex relationship with faith, shaped by her upbringing in a minister's family and the trauma associated with it. She reflects on her journey through academia, transitioning to a secular environment, and the motivations behind her book 'Apostate,' which collects diverse stories of deconversion.  Links Sarah Bacaller's websiteApostate: Stories of Deconversion - Apocryphile Press --- We're now on video on YouTube here. Want more? Check out our exclusive Patreon episodes here. Our blog is here. Join the conversation and connect with others here. The transcript of this episode is here. All our other links are here.  Doubting your beliefs? Have questions about changing or leaving your faith? You are not alone, and Recovering from Religion is here to help.

    1h 20m

  8. 18 APR

    119 - Called a Witch & Kicked Out! with Cath McKinney

    Dr. Cath McKinney is the Professional Supervision Program Director at the University of Divinity in Australia. Her background includes extensive experience as a group relations consultant, a prison chaplain and inner-city minister. In this episode, Cath shares her journey from a complex religious upbringing to her experiences in church leadership, motherhood, and academia. She discusses the challenges her expulsion from a church community aligned with the God Squad Christian Motorcycle Club due to her advocacy for inclusivity. Through her experiences, she highlights the need for compassion and understanding in the face of religious trauma and the ongoing struggle for social justice within faith communities. --- We're now on video on YouTube here. Want more? Check out our exclusive Patreon episodes here. Our blog is here. Join the conversation and connect with others here. The transcript of this episode is here. All our other links are here.  Doubting your beliefs? Have questions about changing or leaving your faith? You are not alone, and Recovering from Religion is here to help.

    1h 24m
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Brian and Troy used to be loyal Christian megachurch leaders. They’re not anymore. This podcast explores life in and after fundamentalism.

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