Repairing the recent rupture with my bonus daughter

In this episode, I share about a recent rupture between Mia, my bonus daughter, and me. It wasn’t a blow-up or anything dramatic, but it was one of those subtle disconnects that can quietly erode a relationship if left unchecked. She’d been popping in every day before and after school when she was with her mum, and while I love her , I found myself withdrawing—not because I didn’t want her around, but because I wasn’t voicing my own needs. The energy I was shutting down felt wrong, felt inauthentic, and I knew I had to address it.

So, we went for a walk. Walking often helps open up the conversation in a way sitting across a table can’t. I asked her why she pops in every day, and she explained how much those moments mean to her, because she misses us. I shared honestly how those pop-ins impact me—when I’m in the middle of something important with work or needing quiet time. That conversation opened up something in both of us. We weren’t trying to defend ourselves; we were just hearing each other out.

What came next was so simple yet so powerful. By acknowledging each other’s feelings and needs, we were able to agree on something that worked for both of us. It wasn’t about compromise in a way where someone had to lose. It was about meeting in the middle from a place of mutual respect and care. That repair felt real, grounded, and authentic, and it goes to show every damn time that facing these ruptures—no matter how uncomfortable—is what keeps relationships healthy and alive.

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