The Fawn Response: People Pleasing, Self-Abandonment, and Standing Up for Yourself

Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

Dr. Rick and Forrest finish their series on the stress responses with the fawn response: an appeasement strategy where we manage stressful situations by giving others what they want. Rick and Forrest start by discussing common symptoms, including people pleasing, self-abandonment, difficulty saying no, weak boundaries, and chronic self-sacrifice. They talk about the roots of the fawn response and its connection to complex PTSD before exploring people pleasing in detail. In the second half of the episode they focus on practical tools for developing healthy boundaries, self-acceptance, and a stronger sense of self.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics: 

0:00: Introduction

2:15: What the fawn response looks like

9:05: Power imbalances, shame, and contempt

11:35: What personal history tends to lead to fawning?

20:00: How to work on the tendency to fawn

36:30: Shame, self-acceptance, and opening up to self-expression

41:25: The fawn response in relationship

46:40: Becoming your own source of safety

52:20: Making equitable arrangements, and acknowledging your best efforts

1:01:50: Recap

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