97 - Why Resilience is More Important than Intelligence for Kids w/ Lynne Kendall
This week on the Marina Perry Podcast, Marina is joined by Lynn Kendall to discuss resilience in children and what we can do to bolster and amplify it. Lynn has over 35 years in the education system inside of Australia's schools and studied psychology. She created her own program called the Resilience Tutor built on the idea that resilience trumps intellect when it comes to what we need to instil in our children. Statistics and studies show our children are in desperate need of support systems, due in part to social media and the current cultural climate of the world. Lynn got started in resilience after witnessing so many kids struggle with everything from academic work to social skills in schools. In an effort to get to the route of the problem, she went into the field of psychology and worked as a school psychologist. However, helping kids as a psychologist required waiting for something bad to happen first. So, she was still seeing kids struggle and felt like her current path wasn’t able to help them. This led her to focus on a preemptive program based on teaching skills to navigate the world in terms of their emotions, thoughts, energy, and how it links to every experience that kids have in life. It comes from a proactive space that allows children to understand who they are within their space. They are able to take these skills out into life and have tools to help them perform better. A large part of this approach is picking about the mistakes and beliefs we think are fueling our behaviours because behaviour is the outcome. Behaviour is what we see. So when we see a tantrum or meltdown, or we’re seeing anger and frustration because when we actually unpack what behaviour is, we realise it’s all emotion. What Lynn does differently in her programs is teach emotion from an energy perspective. Emotions can be very complex for kids, and they can’t always work out what’s happening because they don’t yet understand life or where they fit in society. If we are not used to being present with ourselves, we cannot hear ourselves. We cannot feel ourselves. We are literally absent and outside of ourselves. Self-mastery is the foundation of self resilience. With higher levels, kids get the opportunity to modify their identity. So if we go back to the “behaviourally challenged” children, or ones identifying as “dumb” or “slow” or “problem children,” they have the chance to reclaim their self-identity and transform. However, not all weaknesses are bad or even need to be changed. Helping kids know their uniqueness, strengths, and knowing what they want to achieve in this lifetime, can work toward achievement. We're not all academic and we weren't all born to be academic. The system is one-fit-all, and that doesn't work in the way that enhances the diversity of the world that we live in because our world is becoming more and more diverse. If they are capable of connecting to themselves emotionally first, and then socially, with resilience, compassion, and curiosity, we start seeing happier, healthier, and more confident children who grow into happier, healthier, and more confident adults. What You Will Learn: What led Lynn to studying psychology and developing her Resilience program, the Resilience Tutor. The foundational values of her program. How the Resilience Tutor helps kids become happier, healthier, and more confident in themselves, their life, and their place in society.
