🩱 “85% off Ozempic” — Ozempic’s weight-loss dupe. Burger King’s free-tuition strategy. Red Lobster’s shrimp bankrupt-sea.

Coca-Cola, Lockheed Martin, & Burger King are all pursuing the same marketing strategy: Pay your tuition — Companies are dishing out scholarships because brands are the new institutions.

Ozempic is facing its first ever dupe, a version that costs 85% less — Hims & Hers found a loophole, and are launching a weight-loss business line off it.

And The Red Lobster filed for bankruptcy yesterday, so we’re comparing the seafood chain to The Olive Garden — One gave away carbs (and thrived), while the other gave away protein (and died).

Plus, Costco is officially hosting birthday parties in aisle 6 — So we want to know which retail chain you’d hit up to host a party.

$KO $HIMS $NVO $DRI

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