The Place We Find Ourselves

Adam Young | LCSW, MDiv
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The Place We Find Ourselves

The Place We Find Ourselves podcast features private practice therapist Adam Young (LCSW, MDiv) and interview guests as they discuss all things related to story, trauma, attachment, and interpersonal neurobiology. Listen in as Adam unpacks how trauma and abuse impact the heart and mind, as well as how to navigate the path toward healing, wholeness, and restoration. Interview episodes give you a sacred glimpse into the real-life stories of guests who have engaged their own experiences of trauma and abuse. Drawing from the work of neuroscientists such as Allan Schore, Dan Siegel, and Bessel van der Kolk, as well as psychologist Dan Allender, this podcast will equip and inspire you to engage your own stories of harm in deep, transformative ways.

  1. 162 Triangulation: What It Is and Why It Matters

    14 OCT

    162 Triangulation: What It Is and Why It Matters

    Triangulation occurs when a parent requires a child to function as an emotional adult by meeting the parent’s adult needs and wants. Were you required to give, give, give to your parent, or was your parent continually giving, giving, giving emotionally to you? In a healthy parent-child relationship, there is plenty of connection—but the parent never imposes their emotional needs on the child. Triangulation results in two deadly dynamics. First, your goodness is consumed by one parent. Second, as a result of being consumed by one parent, you are setup to be envied by the other parent. When triangulation is present in a family, it is common (though not inevitable) for the triangulated relationship to become sexualized. By sexualized, I mean that there is erotic energy between Mom and the chosen son or Dad and the chosen daughter.

    40 min
  2. 161 Exploring Your Sexual Story With Curiosity and Kindness

    30 SEPT

    161 Exploring Your Sexual Story With Curiosity and Kindness

    Sexuality is an emotionally charged topic. Period. But when you are talking about sexuality for people with a history of trauma, you are stepping into terrain where angels fear to tread. However, if God intends for you to experience overflowing sexual pleasure and lavish sexual freedom, then exploring your sexual story is more than worth it. Human beings are aroused by particular things in the present because of our experiences of being aroused in the past. Your past story can help you understand why you are turned on by the things that turn you on. Your sexual preferences and sexual fantasies are not random. There is a connection between your painful experiences growing up and your present sexual struggles. Sexual harm in the past becomes reenacted in the present. This is because you have neurons... and that's how neurons operate.

    36 min
  3. 160 The Weight of Religious and Spiritual Expectations with Reid Zeller

    29 JUL

    160 The Weight of Religious and Spiritual Expectations with Reid Zeller

    I am joined today by therapist and friend Reid Zeller who shares a story about egging cars when he was 16. Behind every story is a backstory. The backstory includes the nature of the environment we grew up in. When religious or spiritual expectations are placed on the shoulders of a child, pressure builds within that child. And when that pressure inevitably leads to a bursting, what results is always a mixture of dignity and depravity. Both. If the podcast has been helpful to you, please consider supporting it financially.

    41 min
  4. 159 Revisiting the Big Six: What You Needed from Your Parents

    15 JUL

    159 Revisiting the Big Six: What You Needed from Your Parents

    When you were a child, you were deeply dependent on your primary caretakers. This means that the development of your brain was contingent upon the level of care and kindness in your family environment. Today I identify the six things you needed from your parents, and give examples of each. The “Big Six” things you needed from your parents include (1) attunement, (2) responsiveness, (3) engagement, (4) ability to regulate your affect, (5) ability to handle your big emotions and (6) willingness to repair harm. To download a free document that explains the Big Six, click here.

    42 min
  5. 158 The Critical Relationship Between Attachment and Affect Regulation

    1 JUL

    158 The Critical Relationship Between Attachment and Affect Regulation

    If you have difficulty regulating your emotion, there is a reason for that! No one comes out of the womb with the ability to regulate their affect. The way you develop the neurobiological structures to regulate your own emotions is by having your affect interactively regulated by another. This is the main gift that a primary caregiver gives to a child. Another name for this gift is “secure attachment.” The essence of secure attachment in adulthood is that you have the ability to both self-regulate and reach for help (that is, receive regulation from another). If the podcast has been helpful to you, please consider supporting it financially by clicking here.

    30 min
  6. 157 What If My Story Isn’t That Bad? Why We All Tend to Minimize Our Wounds

    17 JUN

    157 What If My Story Isn’t That Bad? Why We All Tend to Minimize Our Wounds

    This episode is for people who experience emotional pain but feel like “nothing that bad happened to me growing up. I had a pretty good childhood.” As it says in Jeremiah 6, it is very common to dress our wounds as though they are not serious. One way we tend to minimize our wounds is by comparing our story to someone else who “had it worse.” Another way we minimize our wounds is by spiritualizing away the harmful experiences we endured with sentences like, “God used that terrible experience to shape my character.” What is keeping you from having compassion for the harm you experienced as a boy or a girl? If the podcast has been helpful to you, please consider supporting it financially here.

    29 min
  7. 156 Five Objections to Engaging Your Story: A Response

    3 JUN

    156 Five Objections to Engaging Your Story: A Response

    When I began exploring my story, five objections kept coming up for me. These objections kept me stuck. In today’s episode, I respond to each of the five objections. Objection 1: I should focus on the present and the future, not "dwell on the past.” Objection 2: Looking at my story is self-indulgent, introspective navel gazing; I should be focused on God and others rather than focused on myself. Objection 3: Who am I to judge my parents? Jesus says "do not judge.” Besides, I don't want to blame my parents. Objection 4: There's no point in looking at how my parents hurt me because they did the best they could. Objection 5: I can't change what's already happened, so what's the point of looking at the past?

    41 min
  8. 155 Why Engaging Your Story Heals Your Brain

    20 MAY

    155 Why Engaging Your Story Heals Your Brain

    My invitation to you today is simple: to take your story seriously. Engaging your story is the single most important thing you can do to experience healing. When I say "your story," I'm talking more about the individual scenes than the overarching narrative of your life. Your stories—particularly your stories of heartache or harm—have shaped your brain more than anything else. Which means that your past stories are shaping your present life more than you may realize. To support the podcast financially, click here.

    40 min
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Hosts & Guests

About

The Place We Find Ourselves podcast features private practice therapist Adam Young (LCSW, MDiv) and interview guests as they discuss all things related to story, trauma, attachment, and interpersonal neurobiology. Listen in as Adam unpacks how trauma and abuse impact the heart and mind, as well as how to navigate the path toward healing, wholeness, and restoration. Interview episodes give you a sacred glimpse into the real-life stories of guests who have engaged their own experiences of trauma and abuse. Drawing from the work of neuroscientists such as Allan Schore, Dan Siegel, and Bessel van der Kolk, as well as psychologist Dan Allender, this podcast will equip and inspire you to engage your own stories of harm in deep, transformative ways.

Information

  • Creator
    Adam Young | LCSW, MDiv
  • Years Active
    2018 - 2024
  • Episodes
    159
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Adam Young 2023
  • Show Website
    The Place We Find Ourselves

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