Pardon the Mess with Courtney DeFeo

Christian Parenting
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Pardon the Mess with Courtney DeFeo

As parents, we know raising kids is the opposite of neat and tidy. Each day brings wins, losses and valuable lessons. Pardon the Mess is a place where we discuss parenting and faith in a biblical, approachable and relatable way. We may cry and laugh while we learn and grow together in our beautiful mess. Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. To find practical and spiritual advice to help you grow into the parent you want to be visit www.ChristianParenting.org

  1. Why serving as a family matters with Chris and Jan Woodruff

    6 HR AGO

    Why serving as a family matters with Chris and Jan Woodruff

    I am so fired up about this episode with Chris and Jan Woodruff. I believe serving together is one of the very best things you can do as a family. As I look back over 18 years as a mom, I can truthfully say that the times we have served together has deeply impacted each of us. We always see the best version of our family. Many times, the service opportunities are only available for teens and older. When we discovered Lighthouse, we found a way for our kids to serve as young as 4 years old. In this episode, we talk about the benefit of serving and putting others before yourself. My goal for today’s episode is that it unlocks the power of serving together and motivates many to find unique ways to serve as a family.  My favorite part of the episode is when we talk about the benefits of serving together. We have both seen unique benefits on each of our kids. They have practiced and prioritized serving others and we can now see how it has helped develop their character and passions and gifts.  Challenge today: Go on a date with your spouse or grab some girlfriends and brainstorm: “What are the top values we want to instill in our home? In our family culture? And then how can we be intentional to live out those values?” Enjoy! Courtney Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Family Background 03:02 The Importance of Service and Generosity 05:57 Building a Family Culture of Service 08:52 Transitioning from Volunteers to Staff 11:49 The Impact of Serving on Children 15:12 Finding Individual Strengths in Service 18:00 Creating Community Through Service 20:12 The Joy of Serving Together 22:25 Empathy and Growth Through Service 24:36 Building Community and Communication Skills 26:46 The Impact of Small Acts of Kindness 28:04 Finding Your Family's Serving Style 30:39 Navigating Overwhelm in Family Service 33:45 Encouragement for Busy Families 37:04 Getting Involved with Lighthouse Connect with Pardon The Mess: Christian Parenting Pardon The Mess  Courtney DeFeo Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith Resources from today’s show: Lighthouse Family Retreat Light ‘Em Up - 100 simple ideas and random acts of kindness In This House, We Will Giggle - Courtney’s book Under shorts for women - you’re welcome Christian Parenting store Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    45 min
  2. BONUS: How to Abide in Christ

    3 DAYS AGO

    BONUS: How to Abide in Christ

    “So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, ‘If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free’” (John 8:31–32 ESV) To abide in Christ is to remain, continue, or stay in Christ. It means taking what we know about who God is, who we are in Christ, and what the Bible says, and using those things to grow in a permanent relationship with the Lord. It means trusting him for all things—trusting we are loved, trusting his word is true, and trusting in his promises. Truly knowing and following Jesus means continuing to grow our relationship with him. It’s a relationship worth investing in because it is the one relationship that matters: a relationship with Jesus gives us eternal life, peace in this lifetime, and allows us to bear good fruit and do good works.  This week let's pray that our kids will know and abide with Christ their entire lives and commit to deepening their relationship with him every day. Jesus, I pray that ____________ would abide in you. That they would remain in your love and choose that every day of their lives. May they read scripture and learn about you in a way that lasts. Help them to keep your truth in their mind so that they may choose your ways over the world’s ways, and let it sink into their heart so that they become more and more like you. Amen. Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    8 min
  3. Boys vs Girls (Part 2): The Dating Years

    7 NOV

    Boys vs Girls (Part 2): The Dating Years

    My friend, Heather MacFayden, is a mom of four boys and I am a mom of two girls. We have two very different (but equally enjoyable) parenting experiences. We are both podcasters, but we are also real life friends. We have had many conversations over the last 10 years about the unique differences between raising boys and girls.  We decided to take our offline conversations online for you! Part 1 is over at her podcast, Don’t Mom Alone - Boys vs Girls (Part 1): The Early Years. And today, you will hear Part 2 which is all about the dating years. We even get into the anxiety that comes with dances like homecoming and prom.  I learned several things from Heather about how boys are feeling during these dating years. After our chat, I immediately went and talked to the girls about how the guys may feel used at times. They are more than a prop in a photo. I was encouraged to hear that her boys want deep conversations and interesting girls.  My goal for this conversation was to grow our understanding and empathy of the opposite gender - especially if you only have 1 gender of children in your home. Let us know what you think! What do you wish moms of girls knew about boys? What do you wish moms of boys knew about girls? Send me a DM! In this episode, we discuss: -Dating challenges for teens today -Ideas on how to help boys and girls interact when curiosity begins -How social media and phones are impacting the dating process -Seeing behind the homecoming drama - what is going on with each gender Enjoy! Courtney  (02:00) Empathy in Parenting: Boys vs. Girls (04:04) The Challenges of Modern Dating (10:05) Navigating Social Events and Relationships (18:08) The Impact of Social Media on Dating Dynamics (20:21) The Pressure of Appearances in Relationships (21:06) Navigating Modesty and Self-Confidence (22:38) The Emotional Impact of Rejection (23:52) Social Media's Role in Self-Perception (24:40) Understanding Boys' Perspectives on Relationships (25:45) The Importance of Communication and Planning (27:39) The Dynamics of Dating and Social Expectations (29:52) Boys' Leadership in Social Situations (32:11) The Cost of Social Events and Expectations (33:34) Teaching Boys About Respect and Kindness (35:27) Building Confidence in Girls (37:53) Encouraging Individuality in a Conformist Culture (39:55) A Prayer for Our Children Connect with Pardon The Mess: Christian Parenting Pardon The Mess  Courtney DeFeo Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith Christian Parenting Christmas Gift Guide Resources from today’s show: HeatherMacFadyen.com Don’t Mom Alone Podcast The Best Christmas Pageant Ever Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    43 min
  4. BONUS: Faithful Friends

    4 NOV

    BONUS: Faithful Friends

    “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend” (Proverbs 27:17 NLT) Godly friends make us better, not out of shame or peer pressure, but out of a desire to see us faithful to God and pursuing his will for our lives. Godly friends know that God wants more for us than what the world has to offer, and so they will push us in that direction when we start to veer from the path. Who our kids hang out with is important, iron sharpens iron and bad company corrupts character (1 Corinthians 15:33). Godly friends will help our kids grow in their faith and keep them accountable. Ungodly friends will bring them further and further from God’s truth. So this week, let’s pray that our kids will be surrounded by true, godly friends and be a light to the friends around them who don’t know Jesus. Jesus, I pray that ______________ surrounds  themselves with friends who know and love you. I pray they would encourage each other in faith, hold each other accountable, and that their friendships would draw them closer to you. Where there is conflict, may they be quick to show forgiveness, just as you forgave us. May _____________ be a light to those around them, always showing what a godly friend is. Amen. Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    8 min
  5. Discipline, Consequences and trust in parenting with Dr. David and Amanda Erickson (Part 2)

    31 OCT

    Discipline, Consequences and trust in parenting with Dr. David and Amanda Erickson (Part 2)

    These two episodes with Dr. David and Amanda Erickson are packed with practical ideas for the little years. Truthfully, it can be overwhelming to determine how to discipline, redirect, manage chaos while not breaking the spirit of your child. I see a cultural shift from one extreme (punishing behavior out of kids and using fear) to another extreme - letting the kids run the house with no rules.  This couple has an approach that I really believe in - they combine child development with scriptural truth. I wish I had had them when my kids were younger. They focus on “what to do” vs “what not to do” which puts an upfront emphasis on your family’s values and expectations.  My favorite part is when they talk about how to take a biblical value like “trustworthiness” and live it out in the home. As you listen to this episode, I am praying you feel equipped and not discouraged. Their way isn’t a prescribed formula - it’s a parenting philosophy that has many benefits and ideas attached to it. When my kids were little, it was so chaotic at times and I would get so overwhelmed at my lack of parenting principles and felt like I kept messing it up. You are not alone. Don’t give up! This work and effort will pay off. In this episode, we chat about: Cultural shifts in parenting stylesHow to build trust and honesty in parenting How to redirect behavior and manage chaosIdeas for discipline and consequences Enjoy! Courtney Part 1 (03:03) Parenting Principles and Practical Application (05:55) Cultural Shifts in Parenting Styles (09:04) The Importance of Early Emotional Development (11:53) Building Trust and Honesty in Parenting (15:11) Consequences and Discipline Strategies (17:53) Redirecting Behavior and Managing Chaos Part 2  (2:30) Understanding the Impact of Fear on Parenting  (6:33) The Importance of Separation in Conflict Resolution  (9:10) Timeouts: Purposeful or Punitive? (12:10) Channeling Physical Energy in Children (16:20) Teaching Control Over Emotions and Actions 5 (22:00) The Role of Respect in Parenting 2 (23:48) Assuming the Best: Navigating Disrespect 3 (27:20) Affirming Positive Behavior in Children 4 Connect with Pardon The Mess: Christian Parenting Pardon The Mess  Courtney DeFeo Resources from today’s show: The Flourishing Family - new book Identity Simplified The Best Christmas Pageant Ever Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    30 min
  6. Discipline, Consequences and trust in parenting with Dr. David and Amanda Erickson (Part 1)

    31 OCT

    Discipline, Consequences and trust in parenting with Dr. David and Amanda Erickson (Part 1)

    These two episodes with Dr. David and Amanda Erickson are packed with practical ideas for the little years. Truthfully, it can be overwhelming to determine how to discipline, redirect, manage chaos while not breaking the spirit of your child. I see a cultural shift from one extreme (punishing behavior out of kids and using fear) to another extreme - letting the kids run the house with no rules.  This couple has an approach that I really believe in - they combine child development with scriptural truth. I wish I had had them when my kids were younger. They focus on “what to do” vs “what not to do” which puts an upfront emphasis on your family’s values and expectations.  My favorite part is when they talk about how to take a biblical value like “trustworthiness” and live it out in the home. As you listen to this episode, I am praying you feel equipped and not discouraged. Their way isn’t a prescribed formula - it’s a parenting philosophy that has many benefits and ideas attached to it. When my kids were little, it was so chaotic at times and I would get so overwhelmed at my lack of parenting principles and felt like I kept messing it up. You are not alone. Don’t give up! This work and effort will pay off. In this episode, we chat about: Cultural shifts in parenting stylesHow to build trust and honesty in parenting How to redirect behavior and manage chaosIdeas for discipline and consequences Enjoy! Courtney Part 1 (03:03) Parenting Principles and Practical Application (05:55) Cultural Shifts in Parenting Styles (09:04) The Importance of Early Emotional Development (11:53) Building Trust and Honesty in Parenting (15:11) Consequences and Discipline Strategies (17:53) Redirecting Behavior and Managing Chaos Part 2  (2:30) Understanding the Impact of Fear on Parenting  (6:33) The Importance of Separation in Conflict Resolution  (9:10) Timeouts: Purposeful or Punitive? (12:10) Channeling Physical Energy in Children (16:20) Teaching Control Over Emotions and Actions 5 (22:00) The Role of Respect in Parenting 2 (23:48) Assuming the Best: Navigating Disrespect 3 (27:20) Affirming Positive Behavior in Children 4 Connect with Pardon The Mess: Christian Parenting Pardon The Mess  Courtney DeFeo Resources from today’s show: The Flourishing Family - new book Identity Simplified The Best Christmas Pageant Ever Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    28 min
  7. BONUS: The Value of Church

    28 OCT

    BONUS: The Value of Church

    “Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near” (Hebrews 10:23–25 ESV) Getting our kids to church can be a real struggle. They may fight you about it at any age (toddler to teen), it’s early in the morning and everyone wants to sleep in, and it can be hard to find a church community that meets the needs of everyone in your family. You may have been hurt by the church and find it difficult to trust a faith community again. If you identify with any of that, you are not alone in these struggles! But we are not meant to do life alone and church is where we can find our best community. Attending church is also one of the ways we can get to know and experience God more. The discipleship that happens in church is about relationship. There is a reason people often refer to their congregation as their “church family.” It is a place of encouragement where brothers and sisters in Christ can build each other up in love and spur each other on in faith. So this week, let’s pray that our kids know and understand the value of church. Let’s pray that they will love the church and have a desire to serve with God’s family. Let’s ask God to help them love going to church and to feel loved, known, and safe there. God, thank you for the gift of church. I pray that _____________ would love going to church, that it would not be something we convince them to do, but something they participate in out of love for you and your family. May they use their gifts to expand your kingdom and serve your church. Amen. Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    13 min
  8. Creative storytelling in parenting with Dallas Jenkins

    24 OCT

    Creative storytelling in parenting with Dallas Jenkins

    I couldn’t wait to have a chat with the founder, producer and director of The Chosen, Dallas Jenkins. Although that’s super cool - I also wanted it to be practical for us as parents. He was fantastic! My kids are very visual learners and I am sure many of your children are as well, so I wanted to hear his thoughts on creative storytelling. Some kids cannot read the Bible and get what they need right away. They don’t understand the context around the stories. Dallas is a master at providing context to scriptural truth through his TV series and films.  This conversation challenged me to keep thinking creatively about how we infuse virtues, values and faith in the lives of my kids. It encouraged me to keep living faith more than I lecture about it. We know that much of life’s most valuable lessons are “caught not taught.” It reminded me to relax if my kids are more into movies, books, music vs reading. My favorite part is the amazing God story behind his newest movie for kids, The Best Christmas Pageant Ever. It is truly extraordinary how it came about. I can't wait to take my kids to see it (with all of their friends) and kick off the season that is all about the birth of our Savior. In this episode, we chat about: How The Chosen series changed my neighbor’s lifeHow to use creative storytelling in your parenting How Dallas’ latest movie came about and how it can benefit your family Enjoy! Courtney (00:00) The Power of Friendship and Faith (02:53) Transformative Impact of 'The Chosen' (06:05) Family Dynamics and Sacrifices (09:01) Creative Storytelling in Parenting (12:00) The New Movie: The Best Christmas Pageant Ever (14:55) Behind the Scenes of the Movie Production (17:51) The Journey of Faith and Persistence (21:00) Encouragement for Families and Communities Connect with Pardon The Mess: Christian Parenting Pardon The Mess  Courtney DeFeo Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith Resources from today’s show: The Chosen The Best Christmas Pageant Ever Christian Parenting Christmas Gift Guide Carpool Conversations  Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    32 min
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As parents, we know raising kids is the opposite of neat and tidy. Each day brings wins, losses and valuable lessons. Pardon the Mess is a place where we discuss parenting and faith in a biblical, approachable and relatable way. We may cry and laugh while we learn and grow together in our beautiful mess. Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. To find practical and spiritual advice to help you grow into the parent you want to be visit www.ChristianParenting.org

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