Aging in Style with Lori Williams

Lori Williams Senior Services
Aging in Style with Lori Williams

Aging in Style with Lori Williams is about finding the silver lining no matter what life throws at you. Whether you're a caregiver or an older adult, you can count on author and multi-award-winning senior living expert Lori Williams to provide you with education and resources on all aspects of aging. The podcast will introduce you to aging experts and inspirational seniors. Lori pulls from her experience as the caregiver for her husband Mark who is a stroke survivor, and shares how to pay for care, navigate senior housing options, advocate for your loved one's care, and most importantly, learn to thrive not just survive as you age. loriwilliams-seniorservices.com

  1. 1 DAY AGO

    217. Listen to this before heading home for the holidays: red flags to look out for to keep seniors safe

    As the holiday season approaches, it's time filled with joy, celebration, and family gatherings. However, it’s also crucial for us to be vigilant when visiting our older family members. With concern from my listeners growing every year post-Thanksgiving, I felt the need to emphasize the importance of spotting the “red flags” when it comes to the well-being of our loved ones. Why Don’t They Tell Us? It’s perplexing why older family members often don’t share their struggles. The fear of losing independence is a significant factor. Many seniors fear the idea of losing their autonomy or being a burden on their children. Denial also plays a role, especially in cases of dementia, where they might genuinely believe everything is fine. The fear of the unknown and preconceived notions about “nursing homes” often add to their reticence. Chapters: 00:00 Introduction: Navigating Conversations with Aging Parents00:29 Welcome to Aging in Style01:08 Holiday Visits and Red Flags02:16 Understanding Why Seniors Hide Their Struggles05:30 Identifying Physical and Environmental Red Flags09:45 Mental and Emotional Health Red Flags13:21 Creating a Safe Environment for Seniors14:35 Preventing Falls: Key Strategies25:25 Leveraging Technology and Gadgets for Safety30:11 Conclusion: Enjoy the Holidays and Stay Vigilant What to Look For? When visiting aging family members, we shouldn't bombard them with a checklist, but there are subtle signs we should casually observe: Physical Appearance and Hygiene: Noticeable changes in weight, grooming habits, and cleanliness can be warning signs.Home Environment: Look for piles of unopened mail, expired food, or unusual clutter which might indicate an inability to maintain their usual standards.Safety Concerns: Are there signs of a fall, such as unexplained bruises, or are grab bars needed in the bathroom? Simple additions can increase safety.Cognitive and Emotional Health: Observe for disorientation, memory lapses, or mood changes. Withdrawal from social activities is also a red flag.Health and Medication: Missing doctor appointments or mishandling medication could signal bigger issues. Creating a Safe Environment Most seniors wish to age in place, in their homes, as long as possible. While immediate relocation might sometimes be necessary, there are numerous ways to ensure their home remains a safe haven. Falls are one of the most significant threats to seniors' independence, often leading to sudden life changes. To prevent falls, consider the following: Regular Health Check-Ups: Ensure medications are reviewed and eyes and feet are checked regularly.Physical Exercise: Encourage exercises focusing on balance and strength.Home Modifications: Install grab bars, improve lighting, and remove tripping hazards like throw rugs or clutter. Technology and Tools for Independence The use of technology and gadgets has brought numerous advantages to senior care. From medical alert systems resembling Fitbits to medication dispensers, there are countless innovations designed to enhance safety and independence. Tools like Alexa can serve as emergency assistants, as illustrated by the story of a neighbor who successfully called for help after a fall. Staying Connected While Staying Safe Socialization is vital for mental health, but it's crucial to manage it safely. Pets, while providing companionship and encouraging activity, can also be fall risks. Simple measures like nightlights can prevent accidents like my husband’s memorable...

    31 min
  2. 8 NOV

    216. The Power of Communication in Caregiving: Seven Essential Strategies

    Being a caregiver is a demanding role, one that requires not just physical and emotional strength but also strong communication skills. It's about ensuring clear understanding, providing comfort, and facilitating coordination among everyone involved in the caregiving journey. Today, I want to delve into the seven ways that being a good communicator can significantly enhance the caregiving experience for everyone involved. 1. Establish Clear Expectations From the outset, it's crucial to set clear expectations with all parties involved. Whether you're coordinating with healthcare professionals, family members, or the person you're caring for, clarity helps avoid misunderstandings. This involves discussing care routines, medical instructions, and emotional needs openly and honestly. 2. Listen Actively Active listening is a cornerstone of effective communication. It’s not just about hearing words but understanding the emotions and intentions behind them. By giving your undivided attention and responding thoughtfully, you can build trust and ensure that the needs of the person you're caring for are truly understood. 3. Provide Regular Updates Keeping all stakeholders informed is essential. Regular updates about the health and well-being of the person you're caring for can help everyone stay aligned. Tools like group chats or shared online documents can be invaluable for keeping track of appointments, medications, and other crucial information. 4. Encourage Open Dialogue Foster an environment where everyone feels comfortable expressing their thoughts and concerns. This includes the person receiving care, who should feel empowered to communicate their needs and preferences. Open dialogue helps to identify potential issues early, preventing small problems from escalating into bigger ones. 5. Use Positive Reinforcement Encouragement and positive reinforcement can do wonders for morale. Use affirming language to recognize the efforts and progress of both the person you're caring for and any supporting family members or healthcare professionals. Positive communication can enhance cooperation and foster a supportive atmosphere. 6. Be Empathetic and Patient Empathetic communication involves acknowledging feelings and showing understanding. When conversations become challenging, patience helps to defuse tension and allows for more constructive exchanges. Genuinely empathizing with others' experiences can strengthen relationships and improve overall caregiving outcomes. 7. Leverage Technology In today’s digital age, technology can greatly aid communication. From telehealth appointments to apps that track medication schedules, technology ensures that information is readily accessible and easily shared with relevant parties. Embracing these tools can streamline caregiving tasks and enhance coordination. Episode Takeaways: Effective communication is the glue that holds the caregiving process together. It mitigates stress, reduces the likelihood of errors, and enriches the caregiving experience for everyone involved. By honing these communication skills, caregivers can create a positive environment where everyone feels informed, valued, and supported.Embracing clear, compassionate, and consistent communication can transform the caregiving journey into a more manageable and fulfilling experience. By focusing on these strategies, caregivers can not only improve their capability to provide care but also enhance the quality of life for everyone involved. Chapters:00:00 Introduction to Aging in Style 00:44 Personal Caregiving Journey 02:53 The Importance of Communication in Caregiving 11:41 Building a Support System 15:32 Adapting to Changing...

    24 min
  3. 1 NOV

    215. Silver Squatters: The Financial Challenges Facing Generation X

    Have you heard about the term "Silver Squatters"? This interesting concept came to my attention when a friend texted me about it after hearing it on the Today Show. So, naturally, I did what anyone would do—I Googled it to learn more. When we hear "squatters," our minds typically jump to individuals taking over properties without paying rent. However, the term "Silver Squatters" refers to something quite different. It describes older adults, particularly those from Generation X—individuals born between 1965 and 1980—approaching retirement age without sufficient financial resources to support themselves fully during retirement. Consequently, they often rely on financial and housing support from family members. Silver Squatters: the outcome of a complex situation This phenomenon has started gaining attention due to the unique challenges facing Generation X. Many in this group have experienced economic downturns, the impact of the pandemic, and the disappearance of traditional pensions once provided to older generations. Alongside the ever-rising cost of living, these factors have left this generation in a difficult financial situation as they approach retirement. What the data says: One study by Prudential Financial found that nearly a quarter of 55-year-olds expect to need financial support from family in retirement—a percentage that's twice as high as for those aged 65 to 75. Additionally, 21% of Gen Xers anticipated requiring housing support. This demonstrates how significant and concerning these financial challenges have become. Another notable issue facing this generation is their membership in the "sandwich generation." This group finds themselves supporting both aging parents and their own children, making it incredibly challenging to save adequately for retirement. Alarmingly, a study revealed that 35% of 55-year-olds would struggle to assemble $400 in an emergency. That's a stark contrast to the 19% of those aged 65 and older who share this difficulty. What is happening in Real Estate To better understand the impact of this phenomenon, I spoke with some industry friends. A realtor friend, and previous guest of the podcast, Trisha Spurrier, has noticed an increase in multigenerational housing demand—people looking for homes with in-law suites or additional living spaces as families move parents in to live with them. Similarly, a friend who works at a home care agency is witnessing younger generations assisting their grandparents because they lack the financial means to do so independently. From a senior living perspective, the rise of Silver Squatters could influence the demand for multigenerational housing and alternative senior living arrangements. Families might consider cohabitating to manage costs, similar to how families lived when I was growing up. On a personal note, my own family provides an example of this modern phenomenon. Although I'm not a Gen Xer, my son currently lives with us to help care for my husband, who had four strokes nearly two years ago. This highlights how adult children can play a crucial role in supporting aging parents and managing household needs. So, what can we do from a financial perspective? Well, first and foremost, it's never too early to start planning. Financial advisors emphasize the importance of proactive retirement planning, urging those approaching retirement to maximize contributions to retirement accounts and consider additional income streams. Open discussions between family members can also be key to planning for the future. Ultimately, the development of Silver Squatters underlines the critical need for effective retirement planning for everyone. With the potential rise in family-centered living arrangements, adapting to financial challenges will require cooperation and strategic planning. Despite the challenges, there are ways to...

    13 min
  4. 25 OCT

    214. Replay: Adapting our home to be wheelchair accessible - what worked and what didn't

    How can you adapt your home and life to caregiving? Ever since my husband Mark had a stroke over Christmas, life has been one big learning experience. I knew about common caregiving struggles secondhand from my clients, but living it has been more impactful than I could ever imagine. My podcast producer, Ana Xavier, joins me to discuss life since Mark returned home this summer after spending months in rehab - and we answer my most common questions about our journey. Mark has continued rehab and is working to become stronger over time, but our home needed many adjustments. An occupational therapist visited our home in March to make suggestions on ways to make our home accessible - long before he came home in July. Our bathroom layout was an issue, as the toilet was in its own separate room with a narrow door. As a result, we had to update our other downstairs bathroom. The second issue was getting Mark up and down: from the bed to his wheelchair, and from the wheelchair to the toilet. Thankfully grab bars have been our best friend, and Mark and I have our system for getting him out of our sleep number bed. A contractor also helped us reconfigure the sink to become wheelchair friendly, and we added a heating lamp to keep Mark warm while showering without a curtain or door. A great shower chair is a must, as is a detachable showerhead. Wheelchair-proofing the rest of the house has also been a journey. I never realized how beat up our baseboards and walls would become. We’ve also had to move everything against the wall and remove rugs and any clutter so Mark can easily get around. Outside, we’ve also had to add a ramp to the front door. We don’t have any stairs, so a $99 ramp from Amazon has worked great. Other adjustments were to find a dinner situation where the table would be just the right height, and making sure he has snacks and water within reach during the day. I also got a new van to accommodate Mark’s wheelchair, and we named her “Large Marge.” The important thing to remember is that everyone’s situation is different. What works for one caregiver may not work for another. Maybe there are other solutions or even workarounds. Find what works best for you. Also, it’s okay to feel sad about your home changing when you make it accessible - I know I hated removing my favorite rug. However, it’s important that Mark is safe as he regains his strength. That’s the priority. Topics discussed: -Making your home accessible -Bathroom renovations for wheelchairs -Caregiving -Occupational therapy -Home wheelchair ramps Takeaways from this episode: -Beware of grab bars that attach to your wall via suction cups. If they become loose and detach, you can become seriously injured. -An easy way to make your bathroom sink wheelchair friendly is by removing the cabinet doors. -As you come up with new habits and routines, you’ll learn what works and what doesn’t – and it’s okay to adjust. -The Texas Ramp Project helps build ramps for homebound individuals. Check if your area has a similar nonprofit, or check for volunteer opportunities at your local church for help with your home. Resources mentioned in this episode:Get my new book, 'Surrounded by Love: One's Family Journey Through Stroke Recovery': https://loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/book To suggest a topic, be a guest or support the podcast, please email Lori@Loriwilliams-seniorservices.com For more senior resources and to sign up for the newsletter, please visit: a...

    32 min
  5. 18 OCT

    213. Finding Faith and Joy in Caregiving: How My Faith Played A Pivotal Role Through My Husband's Stroke Journey

    Grappling with Faith When you're faced with a loved one's health crisis—be it a spouse, child, or parent—it's natural to question and confront every emotion you feel, including those tied to faith. Experiences like this can push some to lose faith, while others find their faith strengthened. Personally, during the two years since my husband Mark suffered four strokes, I've found my faith not just intact but growing. Of course, I've had moments of profound anger and even directed harsh words at God, questioning why this would happen to us. Questioning Why It's very human to ask why catastrophic illnesses affect our loved ones. Watching someone you cherish suffer is excruciating, and it's common to feel helpless and angry at the situation—and even at God. You're left wondering why such a wonderful person, who has only shown kindness, has to endure such hardship. But I've learned to turn to my faith for strength. This is not to say everyone will resonate with this path, but for me, prayer and my relationship with God have been pivotal. It's important to find a purpose amidst the struggle. Finding a Purpose Through this challenging journey, I discovered a new purpose—to educate others about strokes. By sharing our story, I've been able to help many, whether through my podcast, my book, or the Stroke Smart series I developed. Educating others about preventing strokes, navigating medical systems, and being a caregiver has been a pathway I never expected but one I now embrace. Embracing Joy in Caregiving At first, becoming a caregiver was the one thing I never wanted to do. But I learned to find joy in the role. Little things, like funny moments shared with Mark, have brought laughter and light. It's okay to find humor in unexpected places, like when our beloved dog Sadie ended up with chicken pot pie on her head due to a caregiving "mishap!" Sustaining Faith If your loved one is a person of faith, it's important to help them maintain their spiritual practices. Whether it's attending mass or having someone pray with them, these moments can be profoundly comforting. Navigating the emotions tied to faith—from sadness and anger to peace and growth—is okay. We must remember to seek support, whether from therapists, support groups, or spiritual leaders. Miracles in Everyday Life Even amidst trials, I've witnessed miracles. There are moments when seemingly small blessings, like a stranger’s kind word or someone paying for a coffee at Starbucks, remind me of the goodness in the world. My experience with a kind driver who stayed with me during a tense hospital visit was such a moment of grace. Timestamps: 00:00 Introduction and Personal Testimony01:11 The Role of Faith in Caregiving02:29 Struggling with Faith During Health Crises04:16 Finding Strength in Faith06:44 Purpose and Growth Through Adversity07:50 Finding Joy in Small Moments08:40 Finding Joy in Caregiving09:08 A Funny Story About Mark and Sadie11:18 The Importance of Faith in Dementia Care11:56 Navigating Emotions and Seeking Support12:50 Little Miracles and Acts of Kindness16:13 Concluding Thoughts and Encouragement Takeaways:Faith in the Face of Crisis: When caring for a loved one with a severe illness, your faith can be challenged. However, it can also become a source of strength and growth during difficult times.Finding Purpose Through Struggles: Difficult experiences can unexpectedly lead to discovering new purposes, such as sharing knowledge and educating others about specific health issues.Embracing Joy and Humor: Even in trying...

    18 min
  6. 11 OCT

    212. 10 Tips for Caregivers: Navigating Recovery with Hope and Realism

    What are the top 10 most frequent expectations of caregivers? Caregiving is a profound and often challenging experience and in this episode,I want to explore the intricacies of managing expectations when caring for a loved one recovering from a serious health condition. Drawing from my own journey as a caregiver for my husband, Mark, a stroke survivor, I'll be sharing ten insightful tips that provide a roadmap for others in similar situations. It's important to approach the experience with both compassion and realism so that as a caregiver, we're able to embrace the non-linear nature of recovery, where progress is often interspersed with setbacks. When I reflect on my caregiving journey, the emotional rollercoaster I went through stands out clearly. There were moments of intense turmoil, but also deep learning, which is why I wanted to share my story in this episode. One of the biggest lessons I learned was the importance of education in the caregiving process. I can't stress enough how critical it is to ask questions and seek out knowledge about your loved one’s condition. I made it a point to gather as much information as I could about my husband's situation, and that empowered me to advocate for him throughout his recovery. When I understood what was happening medically, it made decision-making easier, and I felt more equipped to offer meaningful support. Celebrating small milestones became part of the process—whether it was him regaining some mobility or relearning communication skills. These moments became a beacon of hope, not just for him, but for me as his caregiver. But one thing I learned the hard way was the importance of self-care. I struggled with burnout, often thinking I had to do it all. Asking for help felt like admitting failure, but I’ve since realized it’s the opposite—it’s necessary. Building a strong support system, including both family and professional help, was key to my well-being. In this episode, I open up about these experiences in the hope that they resonate with others going through something similar. The caregiving journey is challenging, but with the right support and information, it’s possible to find balance. Resilience is built through community, and together, we can navigate the complexities of caring for a loved one in need. 00:43 Understanding Recovery Expectations01:46 Ten Tips for Caregivers04:00 Educate Yourself on Medical Conditions06:32 Celebrate Small Milestones14:02 Communicate Openly with Loved Ones14:44 Building a Support Network18:00 Managing Caregiver Burnout20:00 Conclusion and Resources Takeaways: Recovery from illness or injury is not linear; expect both progress and setbacks.Educate yourself about your loved one's condition and ask healthcare professionals questions.Celebrate small milestones in recovery to keep morale high and encourage progress.Encourage independence in your loved one to help them feel empowered and involved.Be prepared for plateaus in recovery and understand that they are a common part of the process.Take care of yourself as a caregiver to avoid burnout and maintain well-being. Resources mentioned in this episode:Get my new book, 'Surrounded by Love: One's Family Journey Through Stroke Recovery': https://loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/book To suggest a topic, be a guest or support the podcast, please email a href="mailto:Lori@Loriwilliams-seniorservices.com" rel="noopener

    22 min
  7. 4 OCT

    211. It's not about you: why you need to be there for your disabled friend

    The Importance of Visiting Loved Ones with Dementia or DisabilitiesVisiting friends who have dementia or disabilities can be challenging. My husband, Mark, had a stroke, and it's been a journey for us. Initially, everyone was supportive, but as time went on, visits dwindled. It’s sad to see him feeling isolated, especially when his friends have stopped checking in. People have their lives, and I understand that. But seeing someone you care about in a vulnerable state is hard. The changes can be frightening, and you may feel helpless watching them struggle. These feelings are valid, and I'm not here to judge anyone. The Importance of Showing Up When you don’t visit, it’s often because of the discomfort you feel or the guilt of not coming sooner. These feelings are natural, but it’s crucial to overcome them. Remember, it’s about your friend and how much your visit can mean to them. Mark's birthday party in June was a testament to this. His friends showed up, and it brought so much joy to him. Seeing him light up with excitement is a reminder of how important these connections are. Your Presence Matters For those with dementia or other progressive diseases, the presence of friends offers comfort, familiarity, and a sense of the past. Even if they don’t fully recognize you, your visit can bring a sense of peace and connection. Think about the caregiver too. As a caregiver myself, having friends visit Mark gives me relief and happiness. It reminds me that we’re not alone in this journey. Overcoming Emotional Hurdles Yes, visiting a friend who’s ill can be emotionally taxing. It might bring up feelings of grief or worries about your own health. But doing so is an act of love and empathy. It’s about making them feel valued and supported. Even a short visit can make a difference. Spend 15 minutes, hold their hand, and talk. It's not about the duration but the quality of the time spent. Supporting the Caregiver Support for the caregiver is equally important. When Mark’s friends visit, it lightens my load and spreads joy. It’s a relief to see him interact with those who care about him, sharing stories and laughing together. Kevin, Mark's best friend, was incredibly supportive until he tragically passed away in October 2023. His dedication meant the world to us, and his loss was devastating. It underscores the importance of those who remain, stepping up to show their care. Final Thoughts So, I urge you to overcome your discomfort and visit your friend. It’s not about you; it’s about offering love and connection to someone who needs it. Visiting a friend with dementia or a disability is an act of kindness with immeasurable value. Please, don’t let too much time pass thinking it's been too long. Just go. Episode Takeaways: Watching someone you love struggle with memory loss or a physical disability, it can make you feel powerless but it shouldn't be the reason why you don't visit them.Visiting friends who are suffering from a debilitating disease, Alzheimer's or any form of disability goes beyond that single person. Their caregiver also gets supported during those visits. Visiting friends struggling with disability or hardship can have a bigger personal impact than you think: it teaches you empathy patience and doing the right thing and showing up for someone that needs you the most, even when it's hard.Visiting a friend with a disability or dementia can make their day, combat isolation and seriously improve their mental health- even a quick 15-minute visit can be powerful and meaningful. Chapters: 00:00 Introduction to the Episode00:30 The Challenge of Visiting Friends with Disabilities01:27 Understanding the Emotional...

    15 min
  8. 27 SEPT

    210. 'He's doing WHAT at 96?'

    With a podcast called Aging in Style, it’s only fitting to welcome a guest who embodies the concept so fully. That’s why I'm welcoming Doug Brown: Great Depression baby, World War II veteran, and current refurbisher of computers … who is 99 years young. Though he’s nearly 100, Doug says he feels at least 20 years younger. His secret? Staying busy. Along with words of wisdom (such as “Volunteer or die”), he shares his tactics for longevity and the importance of living an active life - both mentally and physically. You’ll be fascinated as you hear about his life with his wife Claire, his typical schedule and how he stayed busy during quarantine. Takeaways from this episode: - Having a purpose in life keeps you alive and doing good things; staying busy is the key to happiness. - If you don’t volunteer or find some way to stay active, you’ll start to go downhill. Likewise, if you let your mind go, then your health follows. - Once you start doing something, it’s easy to keep doing it - it’s just the initial inertia that can be difficult to overcome. - You must have companionship where you’re exposed to new ideas, thoughts, and (polite!) disagreements. - Doing something physical may be difficult, but the minute you stop doing it completely, then it becomes impossible for you to do it anymore. Resources mentioned in this episode:Get my new book, 'Surrounded by Love: One's Family Journey Through Stroke Recovery': https://loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/book To suggest a topic, be a guest or support the podcast, please email Lori@Loriwilliams-seniorservices.com For more senior resources and to sign up for the newsletter, please visit: https://www.facebook.com/LoriWilliamsSeniorServices/ https://www.instagram.com/theloriwilliams/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/theloriwilliams/ https://loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/aging-in-style-podcast/ To locally donate computers and parts, please get in touch with: douglasabrown@verizon.net

    37 min

About

Aging in Style with Lori Williams is about finding the silver lining no matter what life throws at you. Whether you're a caregiver or an older adult, you can count on author and multi-award-winning senior living expert Lori Williams to provide you with education and resources on all aspects of aging. The podcast will introduce you to aging experts and inspirational seniors. Lori pulls from her experience as the caregiver for her husband Mark who is a stroke survivor, and shares how to pay for care, navigate senior housing options, advocate for your loved one's care, and most importantly, learn to thrive not just survive as you age. loriwilliams-seniorservices.com

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