Do I Really Hate Men‪?‬ Ang Allan-Burns

This week Ang is joined by Vanessa White, an accredited relationship and divorce master coach who specialises in domestic abuse. Vanessa thought she was happily married. But, when she came to the realisation that she was in fact in an abusive relationship her life fundamentally changed.  After finding the courage to leave the relationship and the strength to move on, Vanessa decided to become a relationship coach to help people that were experiencing what she herself had experienced. In this interview with Ang, Vanessa talks about types of abuse, how to spot it, how to safely leave a relationship and how life can go on once you are free.

KEY TAKEAWAYS


Vanessa, who herself has gone through a divorce, reflects on what she learned from the process, and details how learning to put yourself first can shape not only your future as an individual but as a partner in new relationships. 
The majority of people that are in abusive relationships don’t know they’re in abusive relationships. Through her own experience, Vanessa recounts how she finally realised her partner was abusive and the mental and emotional turmoil that resulted due to this revelation. 
Even after you leave your abusive partner the abuse can, and many times does, continue. Vanessa details the ways in which abusive behaviour can manifest post divorce, the warning signs to look out for and how to get the right help from the right people. 
If you have children then they too will suffer from the fallout of an abusive relationship. Vanessa, who has four children, discusses the approach she took to both protect her children and to make sure that their upbringing would be safe and healthy. 

BEST MOMENTS

“Don’t abandon your own needs. No strong, healthy relationship can be built on that foundation.”

“Find somebody that wants to be with you for you.”

“The tragedy of abuse is that the person that is supposed to be loving you the most is the one that is hurting you.”

 

EPISODE LINKS

www.vanessawhite.co.uk  

e-mail coaching@vanessawhite.co.uk    

www.linkedin.com/in/vanessawhite      

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100094770073631 

www.instagram.com/vanessawhitecoaching 

 

https://www.instagram.com/doireallyhatemen/

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558725612414

www.tiktok.com/@angallanburns

www.linkedin.com/in/angallanburns

e-mail ang@doireallyhatemen.com

ABOUT THE PODCAST

Do I Really Hate Men?

Interesting question and one I have asked myself many times. This is not an ‘I hate men’ podcast neither is it just an account of my divorce and the many awful events leading up to and during it. This podcast is a safe space to delve into what happens when relationships end, it provides guidance on how to carry on being a functioning adult and/or Single Mum when you feel broken inside. 

This podcast provides hope sprinkled with humour, at times its emotional at times inspiring and at times sad. I have a message to share with women around the world, come join me and your global sisters for a weekly dose of Superhero Mum inspiration and stories.

My mission -to help women and mothers globally to recover from relationship pain,  lead meaningful happy lives and inspire their children to succeed.

NOTE – I need you to know that I don’t hate men! It’s important that you know there are many great men out there. Many fantastic fathers and single fathers trying hard to do a great job. I know little about the struggles of single fathers; however, I presume they are numerous common issues we share with these amazing men who strive to do the right thing by their children. 

ABOUT THE HOST

Ang is first and foremost a very proud Mum. She is on a mission to share her experiences of both divorce and life as a single Mum. With a 25 year career in the corporate world, she has always been passionate about empowering women and those around her. She is a fully qualified life coach of 20 years and a self confessed s

Unfortunately, divorce and legal drama go hand in hand. Whilst some people manage to facilitate an amicable separation, it is incredibly rare. As for Ang, she found herself in a legal battle that raged on for almost 2 years. In this week's show Ang is recounting the beginning of her legal journey. After 2 years, 8 court hearings and hundreds of letters Ang became an expert, so much so, that she took the unusual, and brave, decision to represent herself. So, get your legal pad out and prepare to take notes, because this episode is packed with practical tips and advice for those who need it most. 

KEY TAKEAWAYS


Whilst Ang recommends trying to get through your divorce without entering the courtroom, she understands, as in her case, that this is just not possible sometimes. But, as she shares her turbulent experience, Ang looks back at the positives that came from it. 
What Ang wasn’t expecting during her legal ordeal was the lies, anger and callousness that came not just from her ex partner but his legal team. Understanding that this was just a tactic to intimidate her, ang developed strategies to overcome these attacks, which she explains here. 
As most people do when they find themselves in legal difficulties, Ang sought the help of a solicitor. However, she soon realised that this may not have been the right move for her. She details her experience and how you can learn from it.  
Ang’s first day in court was a shock to her system. She was expecting honesty, impartiality and mediation. But she was met with something very different. Something she wasn’t prepared for. She shares her experience here so that you will know exactly what to expect. 

BEST MOMENTS

“During a divorce you have to fight. For your children, your freedom, your future and to regain your power.”

“Be very careful who you entrust the outcome of your future with and be doubly careful when there are children involved.”

“Speak to people that have experienced this, learn from them, if you don’t, you’ll be setting yourself up for a longer, harder road than necessary.”

 

EPISODE LINKS

https://www.instagram.com/doireallyhatemen/

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558725612414

www.tiktok.com/@angallanburns

www.linkedin.com/in/angallanburns

e-mail ang@doireallyhatemen.com

ABOUT THE PODCAST

Do I Really Hate Men?

Interesting question and one I have asked myself many times. This is not an ‘I hate men’ podcast neither is it just an account of my divorce and the many awful events leading up to and during it. This podcast is a safe space to delve into what happens when relationships end, it provides guidance on how to carry on being a functioning adult and/or Single Mum when you feel broken inside. 

This podcast provides hope sprinkled with humour, at times its emotional at times inspiring and at times sad. I have a message to share with women around the world, come join me and your global sisters for a weekly dose of Superhero Mum inspiration and stories.

My mission -to help women and mothers globally to recover from relationship pain,  lead meaningful happy lives and inspire their children to succeed.

NOTE – I need you to know that I don’t hate men! It’s important that you know there are many great men out there. Many fantastic fathers and single fathers trying hard to do a great job. I know little about the struggles of single fathers; however, I presume they are numerous common issues we share with these amazing men who strive to do the right thing by their children. 

ABOUT THE HOST

Ang is first and foremost a very proud Mum. She is on a mission to share her experiences of both divorce and life as a single Mum. With a 25 year career in the corporate world, she has always been passionate about empowering women and those around her. She is a fully qualified life coach of 20 years and a self confessed self development junkie. 

Ang has written her first book called 'Do I Really Hate Men', due to be rel

This week on the show Ang is joined by Tze Ching Yeung, an award winning marketer, social entrepreneur and author. Tze is also a single mum that has experienced the heartbreak of divorce and has emerged from the other side. In this wide ranging interview with Ang, Tze discusses how she juggles all aspects of her incredibly busy life, whilst also being a single parent, and how she makes sure that her relationship with her children comes first and foremost. 

KEY TAKEAWAYS


With two children, Tze recognised that the decisions she made throughout her divorce had to be what was best for them, how this taught her to be vulnerable and the surprising benefits that came from that.  
Inevitably when going through a divorce, your mental health will suffer. Ang and Tze took different approaches to how they addressed their mental health needs during their divorces and, discuss here, the advantages and disadvantages of their approaches. 
Ang and Tze discuss their respective approaches to parenting, post divorce. The lessons they have learned and why it is important to make sure your children are involved in the decision making process.  
Having a work life balance is important at all times, but becomes harder to achieve when you find yourself in the role of a single parent. Tze explains the practices she has put in place to be more mindful of her time management and how this helps her well being and relationship with her children. 

BEST MOMENTS

“If you are prepared to be vulnerable and reach out to people, you’ll be surprised how much they will help you.”

“Sometimes your friends and family try to do what is best for you, but sometimes, they never ask you what is actually best for you. So make sure to communicate that to them.”

“Your time becomes precious when you are a single parent, so you really need to know why you’re doing what you’re doing.”

 

GUEST LINKS

www.wedisruptagency.com

www.makingsenseoffashion.com

https://uk-podcasts.co.uk/podcast/lead-with-purpose 

EPISODE LINKS

https://www.instagram.com/doireallyhatemen/

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558725612414

www.tiktok.com/@angallanburns

www.linkedin.com/in/angallanburns

e-mail ang@doireallyhatemen.com

ABOUT THE PODCAST

Do I Really Hate Men?

Interesting question and one I have asked myself many times. This is not an ‘I hate men’ podcast neither is it just an account of my divorce and the many awful events leading up to and during it. This podcast is a safe space to delve into what happens when relationships end, it provides guidance on how to carry on being a functioning adult and/or Single Mum when you feel broken inside. 

This podcast provides hope sprinkled with humour, at times its emotional at times inspiring and at times sad. I have a message to share with women around the world, come join me and your global sisters for a weekly dose of Superhero Mum inspiration and stories.

My mission -to help women and mothers globally to recover from relationship pain,  lead meaningful happy lives and inspire their children to succeed.

NOTE – I need you to know that I don’t hate men! It’s important that you know there are many great men out there. Many fantastic fathers and single fathers trying hard to do a great job. I know little about the struggles of single fathers; however, I presume they are numerous common issues we share with these amazing men who strive to do the right thing by their children. 

ABOUT THE HOST

Ang is first and foremost a very proud Mum. She is on a mission to share her experiences of both divorce and life as a single Mum. With a 25 year career in the corporate world, she has always been passionate about empowering women and those around her. She is a fully qualified life coach of 20 years and a self confessed self development junkie. 

Ang has written her first book called 'Do I Really Hate Men', due to be released later this year which NEEDS to be read by women worldwide. With a high le

After a divorce your life changes. In fact, if anything, that’s what a divorce is, a fundamental change in your life. But, even though your life has changed, life around continues to move forward. In this week's episode Ang looks back on key life events such as holidays and special occasions, how they come around no matter where you are, how they suddenly feel different, but most importantly, if you ‘get on with it’, how they will bring you a new kind of joy and happiness. 

KEY TAKEAWAYS


Behaving with dignity can sometimes be hard when you are going through divorce, especially if your ex partner is playing dirty. But, when there are children involved, it is essential to rise above it. Ang shares her learnings on this to help you act with grace.
Everything changes after a divorce, not just the things you expect to change. Ang had this realisation when it was time to book her first ‘post-divorce’ family holiday. She talks about the challenges this presented but also the rewards that came with it. 
Whilst your life changes after a divorce, the rest of the world seems to stay the same, especially with annual events such as mothers day. Ang discusses how events like mothers day can take on a whole new meaning after a divorce for both you and your children. 

BEST MOMENTS

“The only thing you can ever have control over in your life is your own thoughts, feelings and actions.”

“It's a natural human reaction to think “an eye for an eye”, but if you learn to rise above it, you will instantly see the benefits.”

“Children see more than we give them credit for, so don’t try and hide it from them, because they can see it anyway.”

 

EPISODE LINKS

https://www.instagram.com/doireallyhatemen/

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558725612414

www.tiktok.com/@angallanburns

www.linkedin.com/in/angallanburns

e-mail ang@doireallyhatemen.com

ABOUT THE PODCAST

Do I Really Hate Men?

Interesting question and one I have asked myself many times. This is not an ‘I hate men’ podcast neither is it just an account of my divorce and the many awful events leading up to and during it. This podcast is a safe space to delve into what happens when relationships end, it provides guidance on how to carry on being a functioning adult and/or Single Mum when you feel broken inside. 

This podcast provides hope sprinkled with humour, at times its emotional at times inspiring and at times sad. I have a message to share with women around the world, come join me and your global sisters for a weekly dose of Superhero Mum inspiration and stories.

My mission -to help women and mothers globally to recover from relationship pain,  lead meaningful happy lives and inspire their children to succeed.

NOTE – I need you to know that I don’t hate men! It’s important that you know there are many great men out there. Many fantastic fathers and single fathers trying hard to do a great job. I know little about the struggles of single fathers; however, I presume they are numerous common issues we share with these amazing men who strive to do the right thing by their children. 

ABOUT THE HOST

Ang is first and foremost a very proud Mum. She is on a mission to share her experiences of both divorce and life as a single Mum. With a 25 year career in the corporate world, she has always been passionate about empowering women and those around her. She is a fully qualified life coach of 20 years and a self confessed self development junkie. 

Ang has written her first book called 'Do I Really Hate Men', due to be released later this year which NEEDS to be read by women worldwide. With a high level of emotional intelligence she works tirelessly to improve the lives of womankind through her words, both digitally and at speaking events globally.

With a six year divorce behind her, Ang represented herself in court a total of 6 times. She has been a single parent of two boys for a total of 14 years. She has lived through the strug

Unfortunately divorce comes hand in hand with a barrage of negative emotions. And it is these emotions that linger with us, control us and, if not addressed, can influence who we become. Recovery from a divorce is, put simply, moving on from negative emotions. But, this is not as easy as it sounds. Ang has experienced all the negative emotions associated with divorce first hand, and, in this week's episode, she is here to guide you through her top 5 coping strategies to move past these emotions and begin the journey to being the best version of you. 

KEY TAKEAWAYS


It’s OK to not be OK. Negative emotions are all part of the human experience, we have all felt them in the past and will feel them in the future. Ang shares, from her experience, how to cope with these emotions so that they don’t end up controlling you.
Just after her divorce, Ang received some bad news that threatened to spoil her valentines day. She recounts how she overcame these negative emotions by learning to love herself. 
We often look to friends and family for help and support when we are experiencing hard times but, as Ang learnt and explains, only you have the power to change your world. 
Advice, strategies and plans are all great but, without action, they are meaningless. Ang shares her tips on how to move from the planning stage to the action stage and how to keep going once you get there.    

BEST MOMENTS

“When we fail to feel better, we beat ourselves up and end up spiralling, but if we fight back, we can feel better.”

“You need to learn to be good to yourself, to love yourself.”

“Stop trying to be the finished article, instead, continue to learn and move forward. Take every opportunity to grow.”

 

EPISODE LINKS

DIRHM Instagram

DIRHM Facebook

DIRHM TikTok

Ang’s Linkedin 

Ang@doireallyhatemen.com

ABOUT THE PODCAST

Do I Really Hate Men?

Interesting question and one I have asked myself many times. This is not an ‘I hate men’ podcast neither is it just an account of my divorce and the many awful events leading up to and during it. This podcast is a safe space to delve into what happens when relationships end, it provides guidance on how to carry on being a functioning adult and/or Single Mum when you feel broken inside. 

This podcast provides hope sprinkled with humour, at times its emotional at times inspiring and at times sad. I have a message to share with women around the world, come join me and your global sisters for a weekly dose of Superhero Mum inspiration and stories.

My mission -to help women and mothers globally to recover from relationship pain,  lead meaningful happy lives and inspire their children to succeed.

NOTE – I need you to know that I don’t hate men! It’s important that you know there are many great men out there. Many fantastic fathers and single fathers trying hard to do a great job. I know little about the struggles of single fathers; however, I presume they are numerous common issues we share with these amazing men who strive to do the right thing by their children. 

ABOUT THE HOST

Ang is first and foremost a very proud Mum. She is on a mission to share her experiences of both divorce and life as a single Mum. With a 25 year career in the corporate world, she has always been passionate about empowering women and those around her. She is a fully qualified life coach of 20 years and a self confessed self development junkie. 

Ang has written her first book called 'Do I Really Hate Men', due to be released later this year which NEEDS to be read by women worldwide. With a high level of emotional intelligence she works tirelessly to improve the lives of womankind through her words, both digitally and at speaking events globally. 

With a six year divorce behind her, Ang represented herself in court a total of 6 times. She has been a single parent of two boys for a total of 14 years. She has lived through the struggles and come out the other side. Her words, honesty and

This week, Ang is joined by Farhana Hussain, a divorce doula. Farhana is one of only a handful of divorce doula’s in the UK, but what exactly are they? Doula comes from the Greek term for a wise woman that traditionally helped other women through childbirth. Much the same, Farhana now helps women through the emotional and spiritual rebirth they experience as a part of divorce. Described by her clients as a real life fairy godmother, Farhana breaks down her methods, logic and how your life can be transformed when you work with a divorce doula

KEY TAKEAWAYS


What exactly is a divorce doula? Farhana explains not only what a divorce doula does, but how she discovered, through her own divorce, that that’s what she wanted to become. 
Farhana explains how the process of going through a divorce is a spiritual and emotional rebirth, and how, if approached in the correct way, can transform your life into something you never expected.
Divorce isn’t just hard on you and your partner, but is extremely hard for your children too. Recognising this, Farhana has developed a ‘child centric’ approach to her work, which she details here. 
Farhana explains how, in the early stages of your divorce, a doula can help you where a lawyer can’t, which can save you a lot of emotional and financial stress. 

BEST MOMENTS

“You have to move through your emotions, not just ignore them and hope they’ll go away, because they won’t.”

“As a doula I am rebirthing the new version of you.”

“Even though divorce is becoming more common, there is still a lot of stigma around it and guilt and shame attached to it.”

VALUABLE RESOURCES

https://www.instagram.com/doireallyhatemen/

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558725612414

www.tiktok.com/@angallanburns

www.linkedin.com/in/angallanburns

e-mail ang@doireallyhatemen.com

EPISODE LINKS

Farhana’s Website

Farhana’s Linkdin

Farhana’s Instagram

Unmasked Community

ABOUT THE PODCAST

Do I Really Hate Men?

Interesting question and one I have asked myself many times. This is not an ‘I hate men’ podcast neither is it just an account of my divorce and the many awful events leading up to and during it. This podcast is a safe space to delve into what happens when relationships end, it provides guidance on how to carry on being a functioning adult and/or Single Mum when you feel broken inside. 

This podcast provides hope sprinkled with humour, at times its emotional at times inspiring and at times sad. I have a message to share with women around the world, come join me and your global sisters for a weekly dose of Superhero Mum inspiration and stories.

My mission -to help women and mothers globally to recover from relationship pain,  lead meaningful happy lives and inspire their children to succeed.

NOTE – I need you to know that I don’t hate men! It’s important that you know there are many great men out there. Many fantastic fathers and single fathers trying hard to do a great job. I know little about the struggles of single fathers; however, I presume they are numerous common issues we share with these amazing men who strive to do the right thing by their children. 

ABOUT THE HOST

Ang is first and foremost a very proud Mum. She is on a mission to share her experiences of both divorce and life as a single Mum. With a 25 year career in the corporate world, she has always been passionate about empowering women and those around her. She is a fully qualified life coach of 20 years and a self confessed self development junkie. 

Ang has written her first book called 'Do I Really Hate Men', due to be released later this year which NEEDS to be read by women worldwide. With a high level of emotional intelligence she works tirelessly to improve the lives of womankind through her words, both digitally and at speaking events globally. 

With a six year divorce behind her, Ang represented herself in court a total of 6 times. She has been a single parent of two boy