Aging in Style with Lori Williams Lori Williams Senior Services

How can I cope when I’m grieving someone who is still alive?
You always hear about grief when someone has died – but what about if they’re still alive?
This is a scenario commonly experienced when a loved one suffers an accident or stroke, or has been given a life-changing diagnosis such as Parkinson’s or Alzheimer’s. You grieve who they were and the life you once had. The 5 stages of grief are the same as if someone died: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
For me, I was accustomed to counseling people whose loved one’s life changed – but living on the other side of it has been quite different. In this episode, I'll be sharing my experience with these stages in the months after my husband had a stroke on Christmas.
Instead of “checking” each stage off the list, I've cycled through some stages multiple times, with them lessening in intensity over time. I've even found myself missing the little things, like my husband’s quirks and “annoying” habits.
To manage grief, she suggests 3 tips:
1. Let it out: Talk to a therapist or trusted friend / family member. Scream in the car if you need to, or journal your feelings. Just don’t keep the feelings trapped inside.
2. Don’t get stuck: It’s okay to spend time in each stage of grief. The problem is when you can’t move past a stage and your body hangs on to the emotions. It’s not good for you. Life will look different moving forward, but you can’t dwell on the past and what “should have been.”
3. Find support: There are many support groups online, like on Facebook, along with resources such as the Alzheimer’s Association. Find what works best for you because you can’t do it alone. You’ll discover many people are living your same experiences.
It’s also important to remember you have to take care of yourself. Whether that’s a massage or taking a daily walk, find a way to give back to yourself and take a break. Plus, give yourself grace if you need additional support. You have to do what’s best and safest for all involved, and it’s okay to ask for help.
To manage grief, here are my 3 tips:
1. Let it out: Talk to a therapist or trusted friend / family member. Scream in the car if you need to, or journal your feelings. Just don’t keep the feelings trapped inside.
2. Don’t get stuck: It’s okay to spend time in each stage of grief. The problem is when you can’t move past a stage and your body hangs on to the emotions. It’s not good for you. Life will look different moving forward, but you can’t dwell on the past and what “should have been.”
3. Find support: There are many support groups online, like on Facebook, along with resources such as the Alzheimer’s Association. Find what works best for you because you can’t do it alone. You’ll discover many people are living your same experiences.
It’s also important to remember you have to take care of yourself. Whether that’s a massage or taking a daily walk, find a way to give back to yourself and take a break. Plus, give yourself grace if you need additional support. You have to do what’s best and safest for all involved, and it’s okay to ask for help.
Topics discussed:
The 5 stages of griefAlzheimer’sParkinson’sDementiaStrokesTraumatic brain injuriesCaregiver supportCoping with griefJournalingSelf-care
Takeaways from this episode:
It’s okay to grieve when a loved one’s life has changed for the worst. Give yourself time and grace to feel everything. Just make sure you’re processing those feelings so you don’t get stuck.You may not experience each stage of grief only

When talking to other caregivers, I found a striking similarity: Many of us felt ill-equipped after our loved ones were discharged from rehab. After my husband suffered a stroke on Christmas Day in 2022, I learned firsthand what many of my clients experience each day. Once he was released from rehab, I was given my husband’s medicine, told to install grab bars in the shower for safety, add a shower chair, and was sent on my way. My well-intentioned friends also advised me to make time for myself and to exercise. Easier said than done! When a loved one’s needs are significant, caregivers become overwhelmed and burnt out. Meeting our own needs feels less urgent and maybe even impossible.
The reality? I (and many caregivers) need a different type of support: realistic solutions for protecting our energy.
Here are my 6 tips for caregivers having a tough time:
Make sure you have knowledge of helpful resources to ease your burden. Examples include meal delivery services, tele-health visits, medication delivery, and more.Establish a routine. This helps you stay on target and keeps you organized. This is especially important when administering medication is involved.Get dependable help. Whether that’s a family member or a professional, it can better help you tend to your own needs (and those of your other family members).Find respite in an overnight (or longer) break. Maybe your loved one has a respite stay with an assisted living facility so you can get a full night’s rest. Maybe you take a weekend off while your other loved ones pitch in.Work out a flexible plan with your employer. They may allow you to work from home or offer employee assistance.Rely on your friends and family. Maybe it’s for venting or reinforcements, but you can’t do this alone. Let them be there for you.
Topics discussed:
Caregiver burnoutHow to support caregiversCaregiver resourcesSocial Security DisabilityRespiteEmployee assistanceProfessional caregivers
Takeaways from this episode:
- Burnout can look like many things. Maybe you’re exhausted, scatterbrained, stressed, or crying more than usual. This is a sign to find support.
- Allsup is a service that can help people get Social Security Disability (SSDI). When people file on their own, it can take years for approval. Using a service like this tends to have a higher success rate.
- Know your own limits. There’s no shame in hiring help, especially if it promotes safety for your loved one.
- There are many resources for the time-pressed caregiver: meal delivery, medication delivery, tele-health, home health and more.
Resources mentioned in this episode:To suggest a topic, be a guest or support the podcast, please email Lori@Loriwilliams-seniorservices.com
For more senior resources and to sign up for the newsletter, please visit:
https://www.facebook.com/LoriWilliamsSeniorServices/
https://www.instagram.com/theloriwilliams/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/theloriwilliams/
https://loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/aging-in-style-podcast/

Front Porch Pantry - healthy meals delivered to your door:
a...

Mother's Day is a special occasion to honor and celebrate the remarkable women in our lives who have lovingly served in the role of a mother figure. However, when your loved one is navigating the journey of dementia, finding the perfect gift that resonates with their unique needs and preferences becomes a heartfelt challenge.
In this episode of Aging in Style, you'll learn what to consider when selecting Mother's Day gifts tailored for moms, grandmothers, or any mother figure facing dementia.
These seven thoughtful categories of gifts are designed to bring joy, comfort, and meaningful connections to individuals with dementia:
Sensory gifts: From cozy blankets to scented lotions and fidget blankets, these gifts aim to provide tactile stimulation and comfort to your loved one. Digital Photo Albums: The idea of creating a personalized photo album or digital frame filled with cherished memories serves as a poignant gift that can evoke familiar emotions and spark conversations, offering a sense of connection and recognition for individuals with dementia. Nature-inspired gifts: nature walks and bird feeders, are meaningful ways to foster a connection to the natural world, providing a calming and therapeutic experience for individuals with dementia. Simple crafts and activities: adult coloring books, puzzles, and craft projects, offer engaging and creative outlets for self-expression and cognitive stimulation, fostering a sense of accomplishment and joy in the process. Music: creating a customized music playlist filled with familiar tunes that can evoke cherished memories and emotions, offers a profound way to connect with individuals with dementia through the universal language of music. Dementia therapy dolls: a unique and increasingly popular gift option, provides individuals with dementia a sense of purpose, comfort, and companionship, and create a significant positive impact on their emotional well-being and quality of life.
Ultimately, the most precious gift one can offer to a loved one with dementia is the gift of time. Whether engaging in shared activities, reminiscing about the past, or simply spending quality time together, the act of being present and creating meaningful memories holds immeasurable value and brings profound joy to both the caregiver and the individual with dementia.
As we approach Mother's Day, let us embrace the opportunity to celebrate and cherish the incredible women in our lives with thoughtful and meaningful gifts that cater to their unique needs and bring moments of joy, connection, and love.
Topics discussed:
Mother's Day gifts for loved ones with dementia Sensory gifts for dementia patients Personalized photo albums and digital frames for seniorsNature-inspired gifts for moms with dementia Crafting activities and puzzles for moms with dementia Dementia therapy dolls for emotional well-being Mother's Day gifts for grandmothers
Takeaways:
Just because a mother figure is experiencing dementia, it doesn't mean that you can't make Mother's Day special: intentional and safe gifts can still provide beautiful moments.Sensory gifts provide exceptional opportunities to engage and activate different sides of the brain.Digital or physical photo albums can provide hours of distraction and conversation with caregivers. More tech-advanced albums allow you to update the photo selection by simply uploading photos to proprietary apps on your phone. Walks in nature and taking time to bake together are intentional, experiential gifts that provide the most important gift of all: intentional time together.
Resources mentioned in this...

How can I avoid family drama when an elderly loved one needs care?Every family has its own conflicts and drama. This truth becomes more obvious when aging parents or loved ones need care due to dementia, Alzheimer’s, or other diagnoses where they require constant care. Old fights and hurt feelings resurface, siblings butt heads, and the stress of the situation can make it all worse!
Author Leah Stanley joins me to share her experiences with caregiving and how family dynamics can complicate the situation. She began caring for her grandparents when she was only 29 and wrote about the experience in Goodnight, Sweet: A Caregiver's Long Goodbye. She also shares 3 of her tips she wished she'd known to help avoid family conflict. They are:
Prepare and communicate: It’s best when a parent has a plan in place for their future care needs and to discuss this plan with their adult children. This includes decisions about financial matters, healthcare preferences, and end-of-life care. Having these conversations in advance can help reduce stress and confusion later on.Work together despite our differences: Family members need to be willing to set aside personal differences and work together for the well-being of their loved one who needs care. If they don’t get along, it only negatively impacts the parent.Seek family mediation: If family members find it challenging to come to an agreement, try using a family mediator. They can help everyone find common ground and work toward the best outcome.
Caregiving can unfortunately take a huge emotional toll, and the last thing anyone needs is fighting. The best thing we can do is discuss ahead of time and prevent fights before they arise, and a plan is essential to that. If fights arise, nip them in the bud or use any resources you can to minimize the damage.
 
Topics discussed:
Preparation and communication for caregivingWorking together with familyFamily mediationLegal documents and end-of-life planningSelf-care and caregiver stress
 
Takeaways from this episode:
-There’s no clear reason why families fight when an elderly loved one needs care. Sometimes it’s not about the situation at hand – childhood trauma or sibling rivalries may resurface.
-Make sure you know which family member is tasked with what if an emergency arises.
-Being proactive means having legal documents in place, such as wills, powers of attorney, and advance directives. This gives families clarity and guidance in caregiving situations.
-Caregiving is often emotionally and physically demanding, so prioritizing self-care is essential.
-If you’re having family conflicts, you’re not alone. Family mediators are available for a reason. Try having a neutral third-party help.
Resources mentioned in this episode:To suggest a topic, be a guest or support the podcast, please email Lori@Loriwilliams-seniorservices.com
For more senior resources and to sign up for the newsletter, please visit:
https://www.facebook.com/LoriWilliamsSeniorServices/
https://www.instagram.com/theloriwilliams/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/theloriwilliams/
a href="https://loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/aging-in-style-podcast/" rel="noopener noreferrer"...

How is CARFIT good for seniors?
It’s important for everyone to be as safe as possible on the road, and CARFIT helps ensure you're in the best position to stay safe in your vehicle. I had the pleasure of welcoming Amanda Mills, RN, Trauma Program Manager with Medical City Lewisville’s to learn all about CARFIT events and how they can help the senior population in particular.
In 2006 CARFIT was created in collaboration with AAA, AARP, and the American Occupational Therapy Association. CARFIT is a volunteer-driven initiative dedicated to ensuring driver safety on the road by conducting thorough car assessments. This is especially important for the older adult population as they undergo different changes with their vision and reflexes. These appointments are free of charge and last 20 minutes on average, with more complex visits taking 30 minutes.
One common issue is many people don’t wear their seatbelt correctly because it cuts into their neck. This results in the seatbelt not working properly to protect you when there's a crash. CARFIT volunteers help make sure the seatbelt aligns correctly on your shoulder so it’s safe and comfortable.
Another consideration for car safety is that airbags deploy at 100 – 200 miles per hour. As a result it's important to position the steering wheel at least 10 inches away and making sure it's pointed toward the chest for maximum safety.
The CARFIT program offers an important service that could help save your life. Go to carfit.org to find an event near you or learn more about education and training to bring this program to your community.
Topics discussed:
- The CARFIT program
- Vehicle safety for seniors
- Car safety tips
- Misconceptions about CARFIT
- Where to find CARFIT near you
Takeaways from this episode:
-CARFIT offers a 12-point inspection covering essential car safety such as seat positioning, steering wheel alignment, seatbelt placement, and airbag safety.
- Appointments are free and typically last 20 minutes.
- A common fear for seniors is that their car will be taken away. CARFIT is not a driving diagnostic, as focus is on the vehicle itself in relation to the passenger. Nothing is shared with the DMV.
- Seatbelt and steering wheel positioning are two easy ways to optimize safety in your car.
Resources mentioned in this episode:To suggest a topic, be a guest or support the podcast, please email Lori@Loriwilliams-seniorservices.com
For more senior resources and to sign up for the newsletter, please visit:
https://www.facebook.com/LoriWilliamsSeniorServices/
https://www.instagram.com/theloriwilliams/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/theloriwilliams/
https://loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/aging-in-style-podcast/

Contact Amanda Mills to register for the Lewisville event on May 2 at 9 a.m. - 12 p.m. CT: Email: Amanda.mills@medicalcity.com
Phone: 469-370-2023
Visit carfit.org to learn more

'What should I know to age well?' I just turned 60, and this has brought up a lot of thoughts. You might be surprised to hear none are negative, but that’s because I honestly feel blessed to be here. (Aging isn't a guarantee!) My life has been full of ups and downs, and many of my plans didn’t go exactly the way I wanted them to. Still, I can say it all worked out in the end.
As a senior living expert, I also interact with many amazing people in their 80s, 90s and even 100s every day. Many have a positive mindset around aging as well! The ones that seem happiest have quite a few things in common, and I’ve compiled the trends into a list of 5 ways to age well and maintain a good mindset in life. They are:
1. Stay physically active. Keep moving, whether you dance a few minutes each day, take walks, or play pickleball.
2. Find what fulfills you. Do you like to give back and volunteer? Keep doing that. Work a part-time job you enjoy. You still have something to give no matter your age.
3. Stay social. Whether it’s through church or a local senior center, find a place to connect with others. Even if you just have a neighbor you run errands with, that’s a great way to be social.
4. Learn a new skill. Some colleges offer courses specifically for seniors, but you can also teach yourself a new language with a phone app or try gardening.
5. Keep your brain healthy. Read a book, do crossword puzzles, or try something to keep firing those neural connections in your brain.
My personal addition is to also find ways to have fun. Getting older doesn’t mean you have to be serious! In fact, author Katharine Esty shared on an earlier episode of my podcast that people in their 80s tend to be happier than those in their 40s. In fact, many people begin an upward trajectory of happiness in their middle age.
Of course, bad things happen in life – loved ones get sick, we deal with different challenges with work – that’s inevitable. But it’s so important to stay positive. No matter how old you are, you have something to give. You can reinvent yourself and have fun. Just look at Iris Apfel, who became a model at 97!
Topics discussed:
- Tips for aging
- Ways to stay active as a senior
- Finding fulfillment
- The important of being social
- Learning at any age
- Positive / opportunity mindsets
- Happiness and aging
Takeaways from this episode:
- Staying social is a matter of longevity. We saw the impact of this during the pandemic - those who were isolated quickly declined both mentally and physically.
- Many older folks feel the freedom of not caring what others think. This doesn’t mean being mean to others, but they live authentic and true to who they are.
- No matter your age, you can still do amazing things. It’s all about your mindset.
- Find what you’re passionate about and engage wholeheartedly. Whether that’s gardening, learning something new, volunteering, or going to church.
Resources mentioned in this episode:To suggest a topic, be a guest or support the podcast, please email Lori@Loriwilliams-seniorservices.com
For more senior resources and to sign up for the newsletter, please visit:
https://www.facebook.com/LoriWilliamsSeniorServices/
https://www.instagram.com/theloriwilliams/
a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/theloriwilliams/" rel="noopener noreferrer"...