#SiblingsToo - Exploring the impacts of sibling sexual abuse Nancy Morris

In this powerful and thought-provoking episode of the #SiblingsToo podcast, Decca Aitkenhead and host Nancy Morris delve into the underreported and deeply complex issue of sibling sexual abuse (SSA). The conversation provides an insightful exploration into Decca's journey to write a major article for The Sunday Times in the UK, addressing a subject that often goes unnoticed by the public and media alike. With a commitment to shedding light on this taboo topic, Decca and Nancy discuss the obstacles and responsibilities that come with bringing such personal, intimate stories to a wider audience.
 
The episode reveals the troubling silence surrounding SSA in mainstream media and highlights the urgency of informing parents, families and, importantly, society about SSA and how it can impact all of our lives. Decca shares the emotionally charged process of listening to survivors' experiences, the challenges in reporting on a subject with significant legal and social implications, and the overarching goal of sparking a national dialogue that can no longer be ignored. Insightful, raw, and unwaveringly honest, these show notes invite readers to fully grasp the magnitude of the problem and the need for immediate attention and action.
 
About the Guest:
Decca Aitkenhead is an award-winning journalist known for her role as the chief interviewer of The Sunday Times in the UK. With a career spanning three decades, Aitkenhead has become one of the leading names in journalism, interviewing a diverse range of prominent figures from the fields of politics, sport, culture, media, and the arts. Her expertise and dedication to uncovering compelling human stories have positioned her as a respected voice in the British media landscape.
 
Key Takeaways:
The 'ick factor' and legal complexities contribute to the collective media silence on SSA. Parents and families must be aware of the dynamics within their household to prevent and address abuse. Survivors of SSA carry the emotional burden of their experiences, with disclosure often leading to a tumultuous yet liberating journey. The debate on terminology (perpetrator/victim versus child who harmed/child who was harmed) reflects the struggle to adequately frame and respond to SSA within society.  
Notable Quotes from Decca:
"Even more crucially, you could argue you want parents of children in their care today to read this article and think, 'Christ, I mean, there's no reason to think that couldn't happen in our family. I should be paying attention'." "It's the absolute ick factor journalists don't want to cover this story. It's kind of grim. People don't want to think about it." "The product of the school of thought, which feels that we must recognize that they were all children, and to some extent, they're all victims, is that they don't want to use the word perpetrator and victim." "If one parent reads this and pays attention and it means that it doesn't happen to their kids, then maybe that really is the ultimate change in this situation."  
Resources:
The Sunday Times article - www.thetimes.co.uhttps://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/revealed-the-hidden-crime-of-sibling-sexual-abuse-z05cf0l8r More on Decca - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Decca_Aitkenhead  
 
Tune in to this significant episode of #SiblingsToo featuring Decca Aitkenhead, for a deep dive into sibling sexual abuse's harsh realities. Do not miss the full discussion for a comprehensive understanding and join us as we continue to bring light to these critical and pressing matters in upcoming content.
 
Chapters: 
0:01:25
Decca's motivation to write about sibling sexual abuse
 
 
0:04:49
Legal implications and challenges of reporting on sibling sexual abuse
 
 
0:07:11
The silence surrounding sibling sexual abuse speaks to societal stigma
 
 
0:11:11
Challenges faced by victims in telling their stories without a criminal conviction
 
 
0:16:27
The awareness and resources on sibling se

In an eye-opening episode of the #SiblingsToo podcast, host Nancy Morris engages in an intense and revealing conversation with two guests: therapist Brad Watts and Adam, someone who has acknowledged causing sexual harm to a sibling. The discussion delves into Adam's personal reflections on his actions, the family dynamics, and the resulting implications within the justice system. The episode presents a juxtaposed narrative of regret and healing, secrecy and disclosure, challenging societal perceptions of sibling sexual abuse.
 
Initially, Adam recounts his childhood experiences, including how early exposure to pornography influenced his behavior. The conversation then progresses into Adam's acknowledgment of the harm caused to his sibling and the subsequent emotional and legal fallout. The episode also highlights the stigma associated with sibling sexual abuse and the varying paths of healing for both the harmed and the one causing harm. Therapist Brad Watts provides a professional lens, contextualizing Adam's experience within broader themes of treatment and recovery from sexual abuse.
 
About the Guests:
Adam admits to perpetrating sexual harm towards his sister. He is navigating both the therapeutic process and the juvenile justice system in the United States. Although specifics about his history and achievements are not disclosed to protect both his and his siblings' anonymity, Adam's participation in the podcast signifies his intention to contribute to the dialogue around sibling sexual abuse and his personal journey towards understanding and rehabilitation. His voice has also been altered.
 
Brad Watts, a long-standing friend of the #SiblingsToo podcast, is a therapist specializing in sibling sexual abuse. He is an author, having penned the book "Sibling Sexual Abuse: A Guide to Confronting America's Silent Epidemic". He regularly conducts training throughout the United States to educate and inform others on this issue. Brad provides his expertise to the discussion with Adam, offering insights into the therapeutic aspects surrounding such cases.
 
 

Key Takeaways:
•    Adam's early exposure to pornography planted the seeds leading to sibling sexual abuse, a common factor in such cases.
•    Exposure to media portraying the consequences of sexual abuse prompted Adam to cease the abusive behavior and reflect on the gravity of his actions.
•    Adam experienced significant legal repercussions and family upheaval, with a lasting impact on his future opportunities.
•    The podcast emphasizes the complexity of healing for both survivors and perpetrators, as well as the important role of therapy and family support.
•    The episode underscores the importance of open dialogue and the need for society to address sibling sexual abuse with compassion and understanding.
 

Notable Quotes:
•    "This is a secret I was going to keep to my grave, and I feel bad for that. That was really... I can't even describe how I feel about it. Just disgusted." - Adam
•    "And so I think it is important for it to come out so that there can healing begin." - Adam
•    "If you've got this big, huge wound, which is definitely SSA, just putting an ace bandage over it...eventually without disinfecting it... it's not going to be cleaned and healed, it's going to get gangrene, it's going to fester." - Adam
•    "My goal is to live a normal life, buy a house, get married, have some kids." - Adam
•    "Sometimes it's going to hurt a lot before the healing happens." - Adam
 

Resources:
Brad's book – Sibling Sexual Abuse: A Guide to Confronting America's Silent Epidemic" is available online at your favorite retailer.
 

We hope this episode provides you with insights into the rarely spoken-about issue of sibling sexual abuse and the multifaceted effects it has on the involved individuals and their families. Please join us for the full episode to understand the complete nar

In this remarkable episode, we are joined by the brilliant Teagan McLaren who brings a profound sense of connection through her music. The conversation revolves around the liberation that comes from expressing ourselves and the encouragement Teagan's latest song provides to those who are navigating their own challenging experiences. The exchange highlights the transformative power of sharing our stories and the emotional resonance that music, like Teagan's, can deliver.
 
From the rich conversations that led to the songwriting process to the meaningful interactions with fans, this episode dives into the making of Teagan's song "Breaking the Silence." Highlighting significant discussions around sibling sexual abuse (SSA) and the universal theme of overcoming trauma, the episode carries an inspiring message of hope and empowerment. Teagan's insights bring depth to the understanding of how music can be both a personal cathartic journey and a catalyst for broader societal awareness, encouraging us to voice our stories to enact change.
 
Key Takeaways:
- After meeting Teagan McLaren at a networking event in 2019, Nancy commissioned her to craft an uplifting song that would connect with and inspire listeners, especially those affected by sibling sexual abuse and other traumas. From that meeting came "Breaking the Silence" which captures personal narratives and the struggle to overcome silence.
- Despite not having experienced sibling sexual abuse personally, Teagan drew from her own life traumas and empathic understanding to create a song that resonates.
- The song's universal appeal lies in its ability to capture the essence of shared human experiences, encouraging listeners to break their silence and join a collective wave of awareness.
- Teagan hopes the song will empower individuals to speak out, move forward from their past traumas, and realize that they are not alone in their experiences.
 
In this episode:
0:00:00 Teagan wants people to feel connected and empowered by her song.
0:01:12 Nancy shares her first impression of Teagan's music and their initial meeting.
0:03:02 Nancy commissions Teagan to write a song for the #SiblingsToo podcast.
0:04:24 Teagan starts writing the song, focusing on the theme of breaking the silence.
0:09:33 The stop-start process of completing the song was beneficial for Teagan's songwriting.
0:11:47 Teagan's empathetic nature allows her to connect with the emotions of others' stories.
0:13:21 Teagan connects her personal experiences with trauma to Nancy's story
0:14:11 Nancy discusses the importance of breaking the silence and how it can help others
0:16:50 Teagan shares a story of a friend who opened up about their trauma after hearing the song
0:18:11 Nancy talks about the impact of the song and how it resonates with survivors of different traumas
0:20:06 Teagan expresses her struggle with performing the song live and finding the right delivery
0:23:32 Nancy praises the lyrics of the song, particularly verse three, and its message of letting go of self-blame
0:25:26 Teagan discusses the creative choices she made in the song to emphasize certain lyrics
0:26:04 Nancy discusses the commonality of trauma and the impact it has on individuals.
0:28:10 Nancy asks Teagan what she would like to see the song achieve.
0:29:07 Teagan hopes the song will encourage people to speak up about their experiences and seek support.
0:29:59 Nancy and Teagan discuss the importance of connecting with others through music and how it can help people feel less alone.
0:30:58 Teagan explains her approach to songwriting and how she aims to create songs that resonate with a wide audience.
0:32:33 Teagan shares a personal story about a song she wrote that had a different meaning for someone else, highlighting the power of interpretation.
0:35:10 Nancy expresses her appreciation for the song and how it helps her communicate her experiences to others, including her husband.
0:36:32 Teagan sha

Nancy Morris is the host and driving force behind the #SiblingsToo podcast and research project. With a dedicated focus on raising awareness about sibling sexual abuse (SSA), Nancy is not only a survivor but also an advocate and activist in this niche domain. Her work involves engaging with professionals, academics, and the society at large to advocate for factual discussions around SSA, aiming to dispel myths and bring about change in narratives concerning this sensitive topic.
 
Episode Summary:

In this compelling episode, Nancy doesn't hold back on what needs to happen next in the trajectory of sibling sexual abuse awareness and the practical steps forward in prevention efforts. She highlights the importance of societal discourse as a catalyst for change, much like the conversations which shaped public understanding of sexual abuse in other community segments like as the church and sports teams.
Nancy discusses the pitfalls of misinformation and dramatization in media while championing a shift towards more responsible journalism regarding SSA. The episode underlines the vital role of advocacy in maintaining momentum in the conversation around sibling sexual abuse and educates on the important differences between SSA and other forms of sexual abuse, insisting that understanding these can aid in prevention.
 
Key Takeaways:
Sibling relationship significance - The crucial role of fostering healthy, lifelong sibling relationships from an early age as a potential preventative measure against SSA.  
Reducing recidivism misconceptions - Understanding that sibling perpetrators often do not repeat behavior outside the home or later in life can help tailor prevention and intervention strategies.  
Stigma and reporting - Minimizing societal stigma is key to encouraging open discussions and effective reporting of SSA instances.  
Parental influence and strategies - Parents must be equipped with strategies and resources to create safe spaces for difficult conversations and minimize potentially harmful behaviors long before they happen.  
Society and policy influence - Among other things, changing society's perception from a criminal to a health-centric view of SSA can influence political will and lead to more supportive policies.  
Notable Quotes:
"We need the same attention on sibling sexual abuse, and I think we're right there right now." "The sibling relationship is the longest lasting relationship in our life." "The differences between sibling sexual abuse and other forms of child sexual abuse make sibling sexual abuse much more preventable." "Every day that we're not moving this conversation along is another day where children are impacted by SSA."  
Resources:
www.SiblingsToo.com
Join Nancy Morris as she eloquently unfolds the complexities and the urgently needed dialogues on the prevention of sibling sexual abuse in the latest SiblingsToo episode. Stay tuned for more episodes that promise to be just as enlightening, with discussions designed to foster a deeper understanding and provoke actionable change within families and the wider community.
 
 
TIMESTAMPS
0:00:00 - Introduction to the SiblingsToo podcast and research project
0:01:11 - Need for society to have conversations about sibling sexual abuse
0:02:53 - Raising awareness and dispelling myths about SSA
0:04:38 - Importance of preventing SSA and supporting survivors
0:09:23 - Key factors in SSA that make it preventable
0:14:09 - Perpetrators are less likely to repeat the behavior
0:15:11 - Example of a lack of coping strategies
0:15:50 - The impact of SSSA on perpetrators
0:16:44 - Stigmatization of survivors and the need for understanding
0:17:56 - Breaking down barriers to reporting and understanding the perpetrators
0:19:17 - The dual role of parents and the importance of open communication
0:20:29 - Creating a safe space for children to discuss difficult topics
0:21:31 - Prevention through educatin

In this revealing episode of SiblingsToo, Nancy Morris shines a light on the impacts of sibling sexual abuse on others in the family. Joined by Anais Van Vliet, a driven PhD candidate, they dissect the complexities surrounding non-abused, non-abuser siblings in environments marred by such trauma. Anais, blending her personal history and academic prowess, explores how these siblings navigate the tumultuous aftermath of abuse.
 
Anais reveals that siblings, while not direct victims or perpetrators, also endure profound psychological impacts from the abuse occurring within their family unit. With meticulous research on behalf of these often silent witnesses, Anais strives to advocate for more inclusive services that address their unique healing journeys. Their work emphasizes the critical nature of the sibling bond throughout life and its potential role in fostering early disclosure, supporting survivors, and facilitating healing.
 
Join us for the entirety of this powerful episode to uncover more about the unseen struggles and necessities of non-abused, non-abuser siblings in the wake of sexual abuse within families. Stay tuned to #SiblingsToo for more compelling discussions that bring to light crucial aspects of sibling sexual abuse and its impact on family dynamics.
 
Key Takeaways:
Sibling sexual abuse has far-reaching impacts, not only on the direct victims and perpetrators but also on other siblings within the family unit. Non-abused, non-abuser siblings may experience similar psychological outcomes to direct survivors, including guilt, shame, and trauma responses. These siblings exhibit unique support needs that are currently underserved by existing family-focused interventions in the wake of sexual abuse. The sibling relationship can play a protective role in the context of abuse, as siblings may contribute to early disclosure, interruption of abuse, or ongoing emotional support. There is a pressing need for research and advocacy to address the gaps in services for non-abused, non-abuser siblings and to ensure they are seen and heard within therapeutic environments.  
About Anais:
Anais Van Vliet is a dedicated PhD candidate at McGill University with a focus on social work. They have a substantial background in clinical support, providing assistance for various life challenges. Anais underscores their professional expertise with personal motivation, being a sibling of intrafamilial child sexual abuse survivors. Their research delves into the experiences of non-abused, non-abuser siblings within these households. Complementing their personal insight, Anais' professional journey includes advocacy for often overlooked communities impacted by sexual violence, policy-oriented research, and the provision of clinical support and services.
 
Professional bio and contact info
Anaïs Van Vliet is a PhD candidate in Social Work at McGill university. Their doctoral research focuses on siblings of child sexual abuse survivors; their experiences and support needs surrounding sexual abuse in their family. This research is funded by the SSHRC Doctoral scholarship. More broadly, Van Vliet's academic research and social work practice centers on the voices of often forgotten victims of sexual and gender-based violence.  They are currently looking for research and advocacy collaborations and can be reached at anais.cadieuxvanvliet@mcgill.ca.
 
References:
Link to Carmit Katz's bio
Prof. Carmit Katz | The Bob Shapell School of Social Work (tau.ac.il)  (https://en-socialwork.tau.ac.il/profile/carmitkatz)
 
 
Would you like to support the #SiblingsToo Podcast --> buymeacoffee.com/siblingstoo
 
🖥 To connect with #SiblingsToo go to: Siblingstoo.com
📲 Facebook: fb.com/siblingstoo
➡️ Would you like to anonymously share your story of Sibling Sexual Abuse? Click Here ---> Share My Story
 

In this episode, Nancy Morris expresses her gratitude to the individuals who have contributed their stories to the #SiblingsToo story database. She emphasizes the importance of these stories in conducting research, informing policymakers, and reducing the stigma surrounding sibling sexual abuse.
Nancy explains the process of compiling and analyzing the stories, highlighting the themes that emerge and the impact they have on professionals and society as a whole. She also discusses her ongoing collaborations and the upcoming book she is working on to share the realities of sibling sexual abuse with society.
 
The #SiblingsToo Project collects anonymous stories from survivors, perpetrators, and other family members affected by sibling sexual abuse. The stories are used for research, informing policymakers, and reducing the stigma surrounding sibling sexual abuse. Narrative analysis is conducted to identify themes and provide a deeper understanding of the experiences of those affected by sibling sexual abuse. Sharing stories can be a healing process for individuals and contributes to the broader conversation about sibling sexual abuse. The #SiblingsToo Project aims to ensure that the topic of sibling sexual abuse remains in the public consciousness and leads to meaningful changes in policies and societal attitudes.  
 
Would you like to support the #SiblingsToo Podcast --> buymeacoffee.com/siblingstoo
 
🖥 To connect with #SiblingsToo go to: Siblingstoo.com
📲 Facebook: fb.com/siblingstoo
➡️ Would you like to anonymously share your story of Sibling Sexual Abuse? Click Here ---> Share My Story