The Recovery Show » Finding serenity through 12 step recovery in Al-Anon – a podcast

The Recovery Show
The Recovery Show » Finding serenity through 12 step recovery in Al-Anon – a podcast

12-step recovery for those of us who love alcoholics or addicts. We share our experience, strength, and hope as we use the principles of the Al-Anon program in our lives. We talk openly and honestly about the problems and challenges as we face alcoholism and addiction in our friends and relatives. We share the tools and solutions we have found that let us live a life that is serene, happy, and free, even when the alcoholic or addict is still drinking or using.

  1. 17. JAN.

    Shortcomings and Self-Acceptance: Step 7 – 425

    In our ongoing journey through the 12 Steps of Al Anon, we arrive at Step 7, which encourages us to humbly ask our Higher Power to remove our shortcomings. While succinct in its wording, this step is profound in its demands and implications. It challenges us to embrace humility, not as humiliation, but as self-acceptance and the acknowledgment of our limitations. Spencer and Mary explore our understanding and experience with this Step. Understanding Humility Humility is often misunderstood as humiliation, which is far from its true meaning within the context of spiritual growth. Step 7 nudges us towards self-acceptance, understanding that while we recognize our limitations, our transformation is not solely in our hands. Accepting that a Higher Power can do for us what we cannot do for ourselves fosters the humility necessary for change. In Step 7, we explore the deeper aspects of relying on a Higher Power. True humility is about relinquishing self-will and placing our trust and futures in the hands of a Higher Power. This step is not about handing over a wishlist of changes, but about letting go of control and trusting that the right changes will emerge in due course. Taking Action While asking for help is crucial, Step 7 also involves action on our part. It's not merely about making a request but actively working to change our behaviors. As we ask for our shortcomings to be removed, we must be willing to practice new responses and habits, recognizing that our Higher Power provides us with opportunities to change. We share stories of overcoming fear and perfectionism, discovering that our need for control or our desire for perfection can both hinder and help us. It's about finding balance, realizing that some traits are both assets and shortcomings. Continuous Practice As with all the steps, Step 7 is not a one-time action but a continual process. Each meeting, connection with others, and daily challenge presents an opportunity to humbly seek guidance and change. The journey with our Higher Power is ongoing, and the transformation it leads to is gradual but deeply rewarding. Step 7 is an invitation to develop true humility and to embrace the continuous practice of seeking our Higher Power's guidance. By letting go of self-will and practicing faith and patience, we slowly shed our excess baggage, stepping further along our path of recovery and self-discovery. Through Step 7, we learn the vital lesson that by asking for help, and being open to change, we unlock the doors to personal growth. Readings and Links We read from How Al-Anon Works, Chapter 8 “The Twelve Steps”, section “Step 7”. Additional readings were taken from Paths to Recovery, pp 73-74 (Step 7). Upcoming topics We will be continuing our journey through the 12 Steps with Steps 8 – 12. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecovery.show with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.

    1 Std. 1 Min.
  2. 27.12.2024

    Addiction’s Little Sister – 424

    In the whirlwind of life's trials, how can we turn tragedy into comedy? This question is at the heart of Liz C's journey as she navigates her role as “Addiction's Little Sister.” Her story, a tapestry woven with laughter, resilience, and hope, offers a unique perspective on finding light amidst darkness. Liz's story begins in her childhood, witnessing her brother's struggle with chronic health issues that later spiraled into addiction. As the younger sibling, Liz coped by striving for perfection, adopting the nickname “Lizzy Sunshine,” given by her mom. Her role was clear: to be the beacon of positivity in her family's challenging times, especially as her brother's condition dominated their lives. Through these experiences, Liz developed unique skills. She became resilient, brave, and, most notably, incredibly positive. The chaos and unpredictability of her brother's addiction molded her into a master improviser, enabling her to find laughter and silver linings in the darkest of circumstances. Turning Pain into Art As Liz ventured into adulthood, her comedic talents took center stage. Her experiences as a sibling of an addict served as both challenge and inspiration, pushing her towards a career in comedy and performance. She channeled her life's narrative into her one-woman show, “Lizzy Sunshine,” a Vaudevillian journey where Liz plays both the clown and the hero, often stepping in for her “co-star”—her brother's addiction. The show is not merely a personal catharsis but a testament to the transformative power of art. Through humor and storytelling, Liz invites audiences into her world, revealing the hidden resilience of those supporting loved ones with addiction—a world where the show “never ends,” yet hope continually shines through. The Power of Hope Liz's journey is not just about surviving another day in the face of addiction but living with an undying hope. Her narrative is filled with moments of turning despair into laughter, whether performing improv in Chicago or connecting with others through her show. This spirit of positivity was ingrained in her by her parents, who always emphasized finding gratitude amid tribulations. Through her storytelling, Liz reminds us that the hardships faced by families affected by addiction do not diminish the good times nor the moments of joy. Instead, they can serve as a profound wellspring of resilience and creativity. A Beacon for Others In sharing her story, Liz becomes a beacon for others facing similar battles, showing that there is a way forward filled with laughter and light. Her show, “Lizzy Sunshine,” culminates with the audience singing “The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow,” symbolizing collective hope and the power of community support. Liz's story is one of embracing life's messiness while boldly shining a spotlight on the often-overlooked struggles of families affected by addiction. Her laughter, deeply intertwined with hope, becomes a universal anthem for resilience. Through her journey, we are reminded that even in the show that never ends, we have the power—and the choice—to find and create joy, to laugh amidst the tears, and to turn tragedy into a source of strength and inspiration. Readings and Links Liz read “The Twenty Four Hour Program” from the Nar-Anon Blue Booklet, p. 1. This is a version of a Sanskrit poem, Look to this Day.

    1 Std. 16 Min.
  3. 17.12.2024

    Transformation Begins in Step Six – 423

    In the journey of recovery, reaching Step Sixmarks a pivotal moment of transformation. This step, as we examine in our recent conversation between Spencer and Ufasaha Y, asks us to become “entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.” It holds a promise of change through surrender and faith, allowing us to let go of what no longer serves us. The Essence of Step Six Step Six does not demand immediate action from us to change ourselves but rather asks us to become willing to let go of our defects of character. We are reminded that we are in a partnership with a power greater than ourselves, and our role is to accept our flaws and let go of all that stands in the way of our health and growth. Insights from ‘Drop the Rock' Ufasaha brought insights from the book Drop the Rock, emphasizing the importance of willingness to let go. The central metaphor is of a person holding onto a rock while trying to swim to safety—the rock symbolizes our defects, and the willingness to let go is crucial for survival. This underscores the essence of Step Six: to be ready to drop these burdens. The Challenge of Powerlessness Powerlessness can be a challenging concept for many, implying a lack of self-determination. However, embracing it can be freeing. We learn to relax and have faith, trusting that our higher power holds these burdens, allowing us to feel a sense of relief and freedom. From Assets to Miracles While Step Six encourages us to address our defects, it also invites us to acknowledge our assets. Recovery isn't only about overcoming our flaws but also recognizing and nurturing our strengths. Miracles can happen when we least expect them—transformations that were once deemed impossible become achievable through faith and patience. Surrender, Not Submission Surrender is not the same as submission. Surrendering means we stop fighting reality and start cooperating with it, trusting that a higher power guides us. We let go of control, recognizing that we don't have to do everything alone. Embracing our limitations opens us to infinite possibilities. By letting go and letting God, we allow for transformation and experience moments of serenity. Conclusion As we journey through Step Six, we come to realize that transformation involves embracing who we are and our partnership with a higher power. It is a continuous process of growth and letting go, inviting miracles and serenity into our lives. Through this step, we learn to accept ourselves fully, welcoming change with open arms. Readings and Links We read from Drop the Rock, pp 1-2, and Courage to Change, p. 283 (Oct 9). Our discussion followed the description of Step 6 in chapter 8 of How Al-Anon Works. Upcoming topics We are continuing our study of the 12 Steps. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecovery.show with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.

    50 Min.
  4. 11.12.2024

    Embracing Self-Love: A Recovery Journey – 422

    Today, Shannon and Spencer dig deep into the question, how do we learn and grow to love ourselves? In the pursuit of learning to love ourselves, we may have faced emotional challenges and societal pressures that obscure our self-worth. We might begin by reflecting on childhood experiences that shaped our perceptions and beliefs about ourselves. Shannon recalled a memory from her childhood when a family member sang a birthday song with words meant in jest but felt as though they were aimed at her self-esteem. Such incidents, impressionable in our formative years, can anchor us into feelings of inadequacy. One of the fundamental lessons in recovery is differentiating between self-care and self-love. Self-care is often trivialized by social media trends that emphasize superficial activities rather than deeper self-respect and acceptance. Sometimes, achieving self-love feels like an impossible task, one that is too intimate and personal to tackle. We learn that self-love is not a natural consequence of self-care methods and that confidence in oneself does not always equate to positive self-dialogue. We realized that loving ourselves often contradicts our past behaviors of prioritizing others’ needs over our own. We have been conditioned to fix, to manage, and to nurture everyone around us, neglecting our own needs in the process. Transformative moments can come from simple realizations, like deciding to enjoy activities alone and finding contentment in moments without societal validation. This was a mind-blowing insight: we can embrace personal joys independent of others’ preferences, discovering joy in solitude. In recovery, embracing spirituality can also be an alien concept. The challenge is in handing over worries to a higher power—one that may not be tangible or understandable. Nevertheless, a breakthrough can come from surprising places, such as a yoga session where Shannon saw herself literally reaching out to herself. In that moment, she realized she could trust herself as a source of strength and guidance. Self-reflection is crucial in moments of doubt or negative self-talk. With support from understanding friends, family, or fellow program members, we can replace unkind thoughts with encouraging affirmations. This requires a conscious effort to listen to positivity and to absorb love and kindness directed toward us. It helps to recognize that anticipated catastrophes never manifested, showing us that fears are often unjustified. Through meditation and focusing on gratitude, we are guided to appreciate our circumstances. Shifting focus from potential problems to tangible comforts serves as an effective strategy to combat anxious spirals, especially during sleepless nights. Newcomers to recovery might find themselves overwhelmed by the structure and vocabulary of program meetings. It's important for us to remember that universally shared experiences and expressions, although initially intimidating, are part of the collective healing journey. Adopting the recovery program as a template for life underscores self-love as its heart. By maintaining commitments to meetings, readings, and step work, we gradually reveal the power of these teachings. Declaring and truly believing that we are worth it—worthy of love, forgiveness, and kindness—is perhaps the most revolutionary step toward self-acceptance. Ultimately, coming into a recovery program like Al-Anon introduces us to an invaluable community of understanding and compassion. The path to self-love is intricate, interwoven with our experiences, but its realization is deeply therapeutic, teaching us that this love is our inherent right. Readings and Links

    59 Min.
  5. 29.11.2024

    Step Five: A Journey Towards Personal Freedom – 421

    In our shared journey through the twelve steps, Step Five is an essential turning point towards self-awareness and personal freedom. This step—admitting to God, ourselves, and another human being the exact nature of our wrongs—offers us an opportunity to break free from the self-imposed chains of shame and secrecy. As we work this Step, we discover the transformative power of vulnerability, honesty, and acceptance. Understanding Step Five The journey through Step Five begins by acknowledging what we have learned about ourselves through our inventory in Step Four. We admit these insights not just to ourselves, but also to our higher power and another person. This can be an intimidating prospect; the prospect of revealing our darkest secrets to someone else can stir feelings of fear and shame. However, we find strength in the realization that releasing these inner thoughts connects us more intimately with our true selves and diminishes the power of shame. Overcoming Fear and Judgement As we prepared to take Step Five, many of us feared judgement—whether from others or ourselves. We feared that our wrongs were greater than anyone else's and that revealing them would confirm our worst suspicions about our character. By facing these fears with courage, we take significant strides toward personal freedom. Admitting our secrets to another person can feel daunting. Yet, this step provides an opportunity to break down mental barriers and experience unconditional acceptance. It's essential to choose someone who understands, supports, and listens to us without judgment, whether it's a sponsor, a fellow member of our recovery community, or a trusted friend. Looking Inward: A Revelation of Patterns Through the dialogue of Step Five, we can identify patterns and underlying issues that contribute to our actions. These revelations free us from the rigidity of past justifications, allowing us to embrace our shortcomings without judgement. We learn to see our past errors as symptoms of deeper issues—such as a lack of faith or self-worth—rather than inherent defects. This understanding profoundly impacts our recovery journey, igniting a desire for change and growth. The Importance of Acknowledging Our Assets An often-overlooked aspect of Step Five is recognizing and affirming our strengths and positive attributes. This step urges us to acknowledge our willingness to heal and pursue a path away from self-destruction. Celebrating these contributions to our recovery helps solidify them, making us less likely to dismiss our progress casually. Building a New Life Our journey through Step Five isn't merely about dismantling the old; it's about constructing something new. By identifying and letting go of outdated beliefs and behaviors, we clear space to cultivate a life founded on self-love and caring. The assets we've recognized—our talents and strengths—serve as the cornerstone for this transformation, which continues in Steps 6 and 7.. Conclusion While embarking on Step Five may be challenging, its rewards are profound. It is a step towards freedom, self-acceptance, and a life of integrity. If fear arises as you consider this step, know that it's a natural part of your journey. We encourage you to step into this challenge with trust and willingness, knowing it is a crucial part of your recovery and personal evolution. Through courage, mutual support, and open honesty, we move ever closer to the lives we are meant to live. Readings and Links We read from How Al-Anon Works,

    1 Std. 15 Min.
  6. 11.11.2024

    Path to Recovery: Embracing Step Four – 420

    Our recovery journey requires courage and self-reflection, especially when we encounter Step 4: “Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.” Eric and Spencer relate our experiences, insights, and the profound transformation that accompanies Step 4, as described in the reading from the book “How Al Anon Works.” Taking a moral inventory may seem daunting, but it serves a critical purpose in our recovery journey. To start, many of us might find it easy to list the admirable qualities of our friends and loved ones, yet struggle to identify the same about ourselves. Alcoholism's lasting impact on self-esteem often leaves us feeling inadequate. Step 4 provides an opportunity to uncover our fine qualities that are buried under self-doubt and fear. Facing Our Fears and Finding Strength Our fear of examining our shortcomings is natural. The inventory is not meant to be a free-for-all of self-criticism but a balanced assessment of who we are. Just as a toy store owner takes stock to balance inventory, we must assess what we have in abundance and what we lack in our character and behaviors. By beginning with our strengths, we lay a foundation that makes it easier to face and accept the less desirable aspects without judgment. It can be a Collaborative Effort We both found it invaluable to join a group when working Step 4. Facing such a comprehensive task alone can be overwhelming. Sharing in a supportive environment not only helps stay committed but also reinforces the understanding that we are not alone in our struggles. Hearing others share sheds light on our shared experiences and provides multiple perspectives. The First Three Steps Lay the Groundwork Steps 1, 2, and 3 lay essential groundwork for Step 4. Developing a strong spiritual foundation makes it easier to approach our inventory fearlessly and honestly. Without recognizing the presence of a loving higher power, the purpose of this inventory could easily become misguided and self-destructive. Positive Change Through Self-Reflection Each step we take is aimed at positive change. Step 4 encourages us to observe ourselves without illusions, addressing unresolved issues, and making conscious choices for growth. A searching moral inventory, when approached with the right mindset and preparation, offers incredible opportunities for personal development. The Path to Recovery and Wholeness Finally, Step 4 should not be rushed or overlooked. It provides the clarity needed for the path we choose to walk. As the Cheshire Cat said, “If you don't know where you're going, any road will take you there.” Thus, we see the importance of understanding our current state in order to choose our future path wisely. In summary, although initially intimidating, Step 4 emerges as one of the most enlightening parts of our recovery journey. Embracing it, preparing for it, and approaching it with a group can transform fear into freedom and self-doubt into self-love. Through our moral inventory, we lay the blueprint for progress towards a wholehearted, content, and balanced life. Readings and Links We read from How Al-Anon Works, Chapter 8, the section titled “Step 4”. We also talked about the books Paths to Recovery and Blueprint for Progress. Both of these Al-Anon CAL books provide a process for working Step 4.

    1 Std. 1 Min.
  7. 21.10.2024

    Secular Healing: Working Step Three – 419

    Approaching the Twelve Steps from a secular viewpoint can present challenges, particularly with Step Three, which traditionally involves turning one's will and life over to the care of God. Spencer and Marilyn explore how we have navigated these waters while remaining respectful to their own beliefs as atheists or agnostics. Founding a Secular Al Anon Meeting The conversation begins with Marilyn sharing her experience in founding a secular Al Anon meeting, named “Any Faith or None.” This group has grown rapidly, starting during the pandemic and expanding to multiple weekly meetings due to popular demand. The group welcomes those of any religious or spiritual belief or none, carefully avoiding religious language that can be triggering for individuals with a history of religious abuse. Interpreting Step Three Step Three traditionally reads, “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.” Both Spencer and Marilyn share how they have personally reinterpreted this step to fit their non-religious perspectives. For Marilyn, the concept of “care” rather than “control” was a pivotal revelation, allowing her to embrace the love and support found within her Al Anon community without assigning it a divine source. They relate how they have found language that works for them, such as using “Gift of Desperation” or “Group of Dear Ones” instead of referencing God. Emphasizing personal understanding allows members to navigate recovery while maintaining their own beliefs. The Power of Unconditional Love and Acceptance Marilyn highlights the transformative power of discovering unconditional love within Al Anon, which allowed her to develop self-acceptance and trust in the process of recovery. This understanding ties into the broader notion of making a decision to change—a central tenet of Step Three—and finding safety and support among fellow members. Navigating Religious Trauma and Acceptance The journey of interpreting Step Three extends beyond individual understanding to include navigating potential religious trauma or authority-related triggers. Marilyn shares her realization of separating her father from the concept of a higher power, which reinforces the importance of personal clarity and autonomy within the program. This clarity was crucial in Marilyn's decision to remain in Al Anon, as it allowed her to find meaning and healing without feeling restricted by traditional religious language. Conclusion Marilyn and Spencer's journey underscores the importance of respecting diverse beliefs within recovery spaces. By creating environments that embrace varied interpretations of the Twelve Steps, secular groups like “Any Faith or None” provide vital support for individuals seeking recovery from alcoholism's impact without compromising their personal beliefs. This evolving approach emphasizes inclusivity and personal understanding, allowing individuals to find healing in a manner that resonates with them. Their stories offer encouragement to others facing similar challenges, reaffirming that recovery is a dynamic and deeply personal path, where the language of spirituality can be adapted to support each individual's unique journey. Readings and Links Marilyn read from A Little Time for Myself (Al-Anon's newest daily reader), p. 66 (March 6). We also mentioned several other Al-Anon books: a href="https://therecoveryshow.

    1 Std. 11 Min.
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12-step recovery for those of us who love alcoholics or addicts. We share our experience, strength, and hope as we use the principles of the Al-Anon program in our lives. We talk openly and honestly about the problems and challenges as we face alcoholism and addiction in our friends and relatives. We share the tools and solutions we have found that let us live a life that is serene, happy, and free, even when the alcoholic or addict is still drinking or using.

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