WHYLD - Podcast for Bold Authentic People (And Those Who Wish They Were‪)‬ Tina Hewelt

Do you know who you are?

“You're not white enough for the white people. You're not brown enough for the brown people, and it's our own people judging us.”


Summary of what we talk about in the episode:


Cultural belonging, financial pressures & mental health - what is it like being a Latino in the US?Vulnerability is strength? From “machismo” to authenticity.What crucial conversations shouldn’t you avoid in a relationship?International development work (and beyond) – how can LISTENING be a game changer?Trailblazers – what qualities can first-generation immigrants tap into to make an impact?
In more words:
 
Dr. Paul Rivera was raised between worlds. Growing up in the US as the son of a Mexican mother and a Salvadorian father, he spoke English at school, and Spanish at home. And there were more dualities: Blue-collar background, white-collar aspirations. Public appearance, private struggles. Machismo versus vulnerability, people-pleasing versus authenticity.
The latter opposing forces became a fight that defined many years of his life. Limiting gender norms and lack of communication stood in the way of his authentic self-expression as well as a fulfilled marriage.
“I became a very inauthentic version of myself. I got to the point where I didn't recognise who I was.“
But Paul always knew there was more to life and more to himself. He learned to speak multiple languages, travelled to 115 countries, became a father, a professor, and a diplomat (to name just a few of his roles).
Today, Paul values authenticity more than people-pleasing and makes sure he has all the crucial conversations with Esther, his second wife. With their mutual business “Be. Act. Change”, Esther and Paul help individuals and organisations harness their full potential and achieve more.


Mentioned in this episode:
 
Book “Brown Enough” written by Christopher Rivas Own book, “Creating Your Limitless Life”, by Paul Rivera & Esther Zeledon: You can listen to the story of another person who grew up with dualities and became a bridge builder: Lobsterbird, WHYLD Episode 43  If you listen carefully to WHYLD Episode 7, you can hear Francesco’s Italian hand gestures...Dish of the Dominican Republic we spoke about: "Sancocho"One of Paul’s favourite books: “The Practice Effect” by David Brin
Do you want to connect with Paul (& Esther)?


Website: Be Act ChangeInstagram: @be.act.change & @riveraeconFacebook: Be Act ChangeYouTube: @be.act.changeDo you enjoy WHYLD? Then get in touch!
Quick one-stop-shop: www.linktr.ee/whyld.podcast Follow us on Instagram: @whyld.thepodcast Find us on Facebook: @whyld.one Or visit our website: www.whyld.one

How authentic do you allow yourself to be, truly?

“Given the big role working plays in our lives, it would be a big loss if we couldn’t be ourselves at work, wouldn’t it?”


In short, we talk about this in the episode:
How does your body let you know when you are in alignment – and when you are straying from your truth?In which situations or environments do you suppress your authenticity?How could you change that?If you made that change, how would your life be different? 

This episode is special. You are not going to meet a stranger and hear about their version of an authentic life. Instead, it is all about YOU. 

This episode is a guided visualization exercise, an invitation to reflect on your level of authenticity in important areas of your life, namely your relationships and your work life (no matter what you consider your work to be, e.g. employment, self-employment, volunteering, studying, homemaking, care work, studying etc.). 

You will be tuning into the language your body uses to signal that you are straying from your truth in unhealthy ways. And what it feels like when you are in alignment. 

You will be able to identify situations and environments in which you suppress your authentic self… and, thus, identify opportunities to change thanks to your heightened awareness. 


I will be guiding you to reflect on questions like:
Do you alter your appearance for work, and how does that make you feel?Who are the people in whose presence you feel tense and inhibited?Is it uncomfortable for you just to sit with yourself – exposed to your thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations – without a distraction?When do you feel most alive, and how can you tell? 
I invite you to give this episode - this guided journey - an honest try.

If you prefer READING the exercise instructions, you can find them in the corresponding blog article on www.whyld.one.

Let me know what you think of the exercise and this format of a guided visualization / reflection in general! 

Thank you & much love 

Tina




Do you enjoy WHYLD? Then get in touch!
Quick one-stop-shop: www.linktr.ee/whyld.podcast Follow us on Instagram: @whyld.thepodcast Find us on Facebook: @whyld.one Or visit our website: www.whyld.one

Can you imagine paying for a sexual service?

“My goal is that a client is not booking me again.” 


In short, we talk about this in the episode:
Why do women pay for sex? And is it a bad thing?How does one become a callboy… and why?Why does a sex worker say, “my aim is that no woman calls twice”?Is this even legal? Germany’s Prostitution Protection Act and what introducing the “Nordic Model” would mean for consumers.Why might it feel safer for someone to book an escort than to go on a dating site?
In more words:
If this question appals you, please don’t run away just yet. Sex work is an edgy topic and people tend to have strong opinions about it. As always with this podcast, you are invited to explore your (dis)comfort zone and respectfully meet perspectives different from your own.

In this episode, you’ll meet Ben Nordmann. Ben is passionate about creating positive, inclusive, and empowering spaces for people - in his job as a designer… and as a “supportive” escort. Typical job combination, right? The latter profession takes Ben on international travel to meet with his female “hosts” and explore their desires…

Why Ben chose this path, what the motives of his clients are, and how it all works - learn that and more from this rare and very open account of a male “callboy”.

Contrasting Ben’s happy and self-determined situation, we also spoke about the darker sides of sex work – and why the current political push in Germany to criminalize “consumers” in general might not solve the issues after all while punishing an entire industry.


Mentioned in this episode:
Ben is a member of the Germany-based Professional Association for Erotic and Sexual Services (BesD e.V.): www.berufsverband-sexarbeit.de (English translation available) Currently, the “Prostitute Protection Act” / “Prostituiertenschutzgesetz" is the legal foundation for sex work in Germany.There is a political push in Germany to introduce the „Nordic Model” which would penalize the clients of sex workers. Ben offers a “Trusted Guest Program” on his website www.justnotbed.com - potential clients can contact Ben's former hosts to learn what the experience was like.
Do you want to connect with Ben?
Platform (for himself & other professionals sharing the same values): www.justnotbed.comPersonal website: www.ben-nordmann.comIG (platform): @justnotbed_ IG (just Ben): @ben_nordmannTwitter: @justnotbed

Do you enjoy WHYLD? Then get in touch!
Quick one-stop-shop: www.linktr.ee/whyld.podcast Follow us on Instagram: @whyld.thepodcast Find us on Facebook: @whyld.one Or visit our website: www.whyld.one

What is a Lobsterbird?

“As the saying goes: A fish and a bird could fall in love. But where would they live?”


In short, we talk about this in the episode: 
White-Asian, male-female, arts-science - what is it like to be a builder of bridges between polarities? 88 temples in 24 days – why Lobsterbird completed Japan’s Shikoku pilgrimage in record time and what a rice field can teach you. Wormholes, wisdom, wonders – how Tina was challenged by Lobsterbird’s language but found: We are not that different after all.

In more words:

Imagine recording a whole podcast episode on the topic of your name, just so you don’t have to repeat the whole story to every new person you meet individually. Welcome to the world of Lobsterbird!

Like their name, Lobsterbird as a person defies a short, unidimensional description. Multiprismatic, neuroemergent, and non-binary are but a few descriptors they like to use for themself.

Born to “an Asian woman and a white dude”, Lobsterbird’s path as a social chameleon, a wanderer between worlds, was predestined. As an artist, a healer, a guide, Lobsterbird’s mission is to help people find their purpose and transcend their limitations, in order to help build a better world.

This episode was born out of hesitation, a tension between different universes. Instead of turning away from the initial insecurities with one another, host and guest instead decided to go for exposure, exploration, and radical honesty with each other. What a magical experience!

Enjoy the episode to learn more about barkeeping crustaceans, virtual pilgrimages, and the transformational powers of rice fields.


Mentioned in this episode: 


Lobsterbird’s Bridge to Being PodcastBridge to Being #43 “What the hell is a Lobsterbird?”Lobsterbird's Books: “Phase Out” and “Level Up”Tibetan Vajrayana BuddhismShikoku Pilgrimage 
Do you want to connect with Lobsterbird? 


Website: www.lobsterbird.comInstagram: @thelobsterbirdFacebook: @thelobsterbird

Do you enjoy WHYLD? Then get in touch!
Quick one-stop-shop: www.linktr.ee/whyld.podcast Follow us on Instagram: @whyld.thepodcast Find us on Facebook: @whyld.one Or visit our website: www.whyld.one

How long can you hold your breath?

“90% of the blackouts happen near the surface at the very end of the dive.”
 

In short, we talk about this in the episode: 
How dangerous is freediving really? Step by step, what happens during a vertical freedive?  What surprising reflexes help humans survive longer underwater? Who was Stephen Keenan to Lily and what happened on July 22nd, 2017?  
In more words:

Imagine walking 120 meters (131 yards) on one breath.
Think you can make it? 

And now imagine doing the same thing… diving.
Miscalculated, ran out of oxygen? Tough luck, no way to breathe before you reach the surface!

What sounds like a crazy, dangerous endeavour is Lily Crespy’s passion and the most peaceful activity she can imagine. Freediving. Upon discovering this niche sport, not even a broken leg could stop Lily from diving into a new life. Formerly a molecular biologist, Lily became an athlete, competing in the world championships, and working internationally as a freediving instructor.

In 2017, a tragic accident (“The Deepest Breath” movie, available on Netflix) involving Lily’s friends - world-renowned safety diver Stephen Keenan and record-breaking freediving champion Alessia Zecchini – changed the trajectory of Lily’s career. 

Let Lily take you on a deep dive and explain the intriguing physiological reflexes that help humans survive longer underwater. Listen to her personal account of Stephen Keenan’s fatal accident. And learn what she is up to now, writing a new chapter back home in Nice, France.


Mentioned in this episode: 
“The Deepest Breath” movie“The Big Blue” movieWim Hof breathing method (NOT to be used for freediving in the water; can be used for static apnea)Mammalian Dive Reflex (set of physiological responses to immersion in water)Laryngospasm (protective reflex against pulmonary aspiration)Blow-Tap-Talk (method to recover blacked-out diver)Alexey Molchanov  & Natalia Molchanova († 2nd August 2015)Dahab Freedivers (freediving school in Dahab, Egypt, founded by Pascal Berger, Miguel Lozano, and Stephen Keenan, later run by Lily Crespy as manager)Alessia ZecchiniStephen Keenan († 22nd July 2017)
Do you want to connect with Lily?
www.enki-coaching.comIG: @lilycrespyFB: @lily.crespy

Do you enjoy WHYLD? Then get in touch!
Quick one-stop-shop: www.linktr.ee/whyld.podcast Follow us on Instagram: @whyld.thepodcast Find us on Facebook: @whyld.one Or visit our website: www.whyld.one

Do I have to have kids?

“Moms reach out to me all the time and share their stories and say that they just weren't aware that they had the choice.”
 

In short, we talk about this in the episode:
How can you find out if you (don’t) want to have kids? Is being childfree different for men vs. women? Should “kids, yes or no” be a topic on your first date?  Why is this such a sensitive topic? 
In more words:
Veronica grew up in a very traditional Hispanic home where the father worked and the mom… worked, too. This came on top of taking care of the household and children, “of course”.
Being overworked and last on the to-care-for list was not a model young Veronica fancied for her future. Yet, for a long time, she didn’t know she had a choice.
Now 47 and confidently childfree, Veronica knows all about the pressure and the prejudice society applies to people for whom having children is not a given but an option - one that is considered very consciously.
Together with her partner Rick, the Austin-based woman with a captivating smile founded “The Childfree Connection” – a global membership community for like-minded individuals.
In the episode, we discuss the many stereotypes about childfree people, why many parents feel offended by this topic, what Veronica calls the “But Trap”, and how Veronica thinks about her old age without kids.


Resources mentioned in this episode:


Earth Overshoot Day – incorrectly addressed as “Earth Day” in the episode: The day of each year when humanity has used up the natural resources available in a year. The more people we become and the less sustainably we act, the earlier the date on which humanity passes this troublesome mark each passing year.“Is childfree for me?” - program + private community offered by Veronica
Do you want to connect with Veronica?


Website: www.thechildfreeconnection.comInstagram: @thechildfreeconnectionFacebook: @thechildfreeconnection

Do you enjoy WHYLD? Then get in touch!
Quick one-stop-shop: www.linktr.ee/whyld.podcast Follow us on Instagram: @whyld.thepodcast Find us on Facebook: @whyld.one Or visit our website: www.whyld.one