Burrito Quest

noreply@blogger.com (Daniel Lofton)
Podcast “Burrito Quest”

Burrito Quest is all about...stamina. We (Ben, Isaac, and Daniel) ate our way through the Specialty Burrito menu at Santa Fe Grill, a fast food eatery located inside Pic Quik convenience stores in Las Cruces, New Mexco. This list is a good 60 burritos long, and it took us all of 2009, and a quarter of 2010. Along the way we met and (we like to think) befriended a burristro who we named Salsa Bro. Toward the end of our quest, Salsa Bro was unceremoniously fired for, rumor has it, giving free burritos to pretty ladies. What man wouldn't, we ask you? And so, our primary quest finished, we push on, searching the Land of Burritos (Las Cruces, NM burrito-serving establishments) for our old friend. Join us, for Burrito Quest 2: The Search for Salsa Bro!

  1. 02/12/2012

    Taco Bell - Veggie Cantina Burrito

    Taco Bell, your bell has been rung for the last time. At least the last time during Veggie Trek. The previous excursion for this particular burro ended in failure, due to fowl incursion into what was supposed to be a strictly vegetarian affair.  This burrito rings 'veggie true' if not completely 'tasty true.'  A mushy melange of ingredients that taste like... well, Taco Bell in a rather indiscriminate manner. All in all positive, but only vaguely so. Recent realizations that Veggie Trek was on track for abject failure led Daniel to consider double-fisting episodes, in order to set a faster pace toward the end of the year. This sparked yet another realization, that such a thing had indeed been attempted, even achieved, in the misty past of BQ4. Given this, and recalculations of successfully eaten veggie burritos in the past year, it seems that things are not so dire for our intrepid heroes after all. After this last glutinous foray to the Bell, we are a mere two burritos from the first successful BQ foray since BQ Prime. The proximity of said success prompting the questions: "Then what?" and "Is Burrito Quest 5 likely?" Daniel forwards the notion of replacing one of the principles to ease the way for future Questing. Ben is less than enthused with the notion. Ingredients: "Experience our new cilantro rice, flavorful black beans, guacamole made from real Hass avocados, pico de gallo prepared fresh daily, roasted corn & pepper salsa and a creamy cilantro dressing, all wrapped in a warm flour tortilla." Ratings: Ben -Like whiskey that tastes like smoky wood, some people really like that, I thought it might be interesting but it tasted bad. Daniel -Burning pine wood in a fireplace, having a fire is nice and comforting, but that kind of wood is going to burn up fast so the comfort is fleeting. BQ4 - Episode Eleven "This Is The Best Burrito I've Ever Eaten" by Parry Gripp, used with permission.  http://parrygripp.com/

  2. 04/08/2012

    The Shed - Migas Burrito

    We get the band back together!  Isaac is in town (also, Jenni) for a busy weekend, so we opt for a brunch burrito.  The Shed (formerly Old Mesilla Pastry Cafe) is a breakfast/lunch place with a dish called Migas, basically a bunch of veggies mixed with egg.  They graciously threw the dish into a burrito for us, minus the cheese, but smothered in green chile.  Opinions on this burrito were split and we're all over the place on this episode: racism, cave men, Scientology, Tom Cruise, Michael Phelps, olympic meals, Baby Spice.  We bust on Sage some, like we do.  Daniel broaches the idea of Bizarro Trek as an idea for Burrito Quest 5.  Ben tries to issue a rating that we are sure he's used before.  We are right.  Isaac is apparently too busy/good to keep up with Burrito Quest from afar.  And we break our two-failure streak for Veggie Trek! Ingredients: "Two scrambled eggs, tomatoes, jalapenos, onions, cheddar and Jack cheese, crisp corn tortilla strips served with home potatoes or pinto beans." Ratings: Ben - Old Taco Bell sauce packet that you find in the back of your fridge.  Unexpected sauce packets. Daniel - A rock star's tour bus, it seems like a pretty cool way to travel.  Someone else drives for you, you've got a bed and all the stuff you want, just like this burrito. Isaac - The Fleshlight, it's a good idea when you think about it, there are great parts about it, but all in all it feels like kind of too much. Jenni - The thing that I thought was tin foil, but was actually something from the burrito.  It's the "What is This?" burrito. BQ4 - Episode Seven "This Is The Best Burrito I've Ever Eaten" by Parry Gripp, used with permission.  http://parrygripp.com/

  3. 21/07/2012

    Taco Bell - Chicken Cantina Burrito

    Those shits at Taco Bell screw us!  We order Veggie Cantina Burritos and they give us the chicken version.  We eat it anyway.  We are joined by Alex and Nathan for a Burrito foursome.  Ben searches his vegetarian soul and decides throwing the burro away is worse than eating it.  His concessions are legion this episode.  Nathan, long-time-fan-bq-virgin, holds his own with aplomb.  Turns out he is something of (read: not really) a Taco Bell expert.  Our apologies for not coming up with a better burrito for his visit to Cruces.  Alex is offended by this food.  Offended in the taste buds and the culture.  Right in the culture!  But he is surprised he didn't hate it.  His is a tortured soul.  Daniel surprises Nathan and Alex with extra Doritos Locos Tacos.  Alex's offendedness increases by volumes.  All in all a pretty mediocre burrito for something that's supposed to be Taco Bell's new freshmaker.  Also, this one, like the last is contaminated by meats and thus does not count toward the Veggie Trek total. Ingredients: "Experience our new citrus-herb marinated chicken, cilantro rice, flavorful black beans, guacamole made from real Hass avocados, pico de gallo prepared fresh daily, roasted corn & pepper salsa and a creamy cilantro dressing, all wrapped in a warm flour tortilla. Also available in Steak or Veggie." Crooked fuckers! Ratings: Ben - Pringles flavor cliff.  Eating a whole tube of Pringles in one sitting, and thinking that that was like 1000 calories of bullshit. Daniel - Dyson vacuum cleaner, it's neat and shiny but it's still just a vacuum cleaner, who gives a shit. Alex - Shame, for my enjoyment of this burrito.  It was a decent mixture of ingredients but I had low expectations so... Nathan - Alex's t-shirt, it says 'meh' which is exactly how I feel. BQ4 - Episode Six "This Is The Best Burrito I've Ever Eaten" by Parry Gripp, used with permission.  http://parrygripp.com/

Información

Burrito Quest is all about...stamina. We (Ben, Isaac, and Daniel) ate our way through the Specialty Burrito menu at Santa Fe Grill, a fast food eatery located inside Pic Quik convenience stores in Las Cruces, New Mexco. This list is a good 60 burritos long, and it took us all of 2009, and a quarter of 2010. Along the way we met and (we like to think) befriended a burristro who we named Salsa Bro. Toward the end of our quest, Salsa Bro was unceremoniously fired for, rumor has it, giving free burritos to pretty ladies. What man wouldn't, we ask you? And so, our primary quest finished, we push on, searching the Land of Burritos (Las Cruces, NM burrito-serving establishments) for our old friend. Join us, for Burrito Quest 2: The Search for Salsa Bro!

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