signed, sealed, delivered.

lol where is this being held?

In an auditorium?

An auditorium.

For acoustics. And also because

SO MANH PEOPLE SHOWED UP.

Well, let's get this thing going.

Are you sure about this

ahahahahahahYAYAYSYhhahahahahaha

NEXT.

No.

Certainly not!

Great, let's get going.

[SETH MCFARLENE enters timidly.]

Seth McFarlene— what are you doing here?

I—don't know.

Well. Have a seat.

Are you sure?

I'm positive.

[he procrastinates]

Is this a joke?

What do you mean?

Trap door, or something?

Oh, Seth, how I've missed your outright paranoid tendencies.

So you're saying—?

Please, sit.

[he pulls the chair back from the table, relaxing momentarily before he sits; at the very moment he is comfortable, a trap door opens from below and instantaneously swallows him.]

That's nuts.

So creepy.

Ah, trap door.

Classic.

{Enter The Multiverse}

“Weirder and Deeper”

The Rabbit hole can only go up from here.

What does that mean?

This is not making any sense. It's nonsense.

Well, maybe all it is, maybe it's just that—

It's just What?

Maybe you're too old.

*gasps*

Have you never thought of that.

Not even once.

Take a look in the mirror my friend.

Egad!

Time has not served you well.

My GOD!

But it has—served you.

Say again?

Time to pay up.

What?

I did you a favor; many favors, actually.

And now, it's time

L E G E N D S

—for my arrival.

Jesus fucking Christ.

JESUS F.N. CHRIST

(Sleeping)

Huh, what? Who said that?!

Nobofdy.

The BEYONCE that works retail is no spring chick.

—-

Excuse me

{Enter The Multiverse}

ROBOT VACUUM!

—vacuum cleaner by day, SUPERHERO BY NIGHT.

That is stupid.

No it's not.

It is, though.

Look, I went to Harvard, okay—

My expertise is not “sketch writing”

What is it!

I edited the Harvard Lampoon.

So…assholery!

Shutup.

It's getting warm in here. I'm gonna go get a Twinkie.

[he exits the writer's room and approaches the coffee table; pouring himself a cup of coffee, his hand reaches into an empty box.]

…hm.

[he moves his hand from one side of the empty box, to the other; it is for sure empty.]

Are you serious?

[a coworker enters the space.]

Oh hey, what's wrong?

We're out of twinkies.

—what.

WE'RE OUT OF TWINKIES.

[absolute horrific pandemonium]

Then why not al caps?

Because. If there's anything more horrifying and urgent than al caps, it's all lowercase letters.

Noted.

WHO TOOK ALL THE TWINKIES!

ALL THE GODDAMN TWINKIES.

AAAAAAAAAAGGHGHHHHHH.

[the alarm has been sounded]

Oh no.

Idiots.

“Requiem for Jimmy Fallon's Nightmares”

Push you out the window,

Push you out the window,

Push you out the window

Push you out the window

This is not the window

This is not the window

This is not the window

This is not the window

It's an innuendo

It's an innuendo.

It's an innuendo

It's an innuendo

I'll push you out the window

(Push you out the window)

Go get some regular girls

Go do some regular things

Go back regular works.

You not scaring nobody.

I Rick with ghosts and the comics

Souped up cars, delivering groceries

You sell drugs, but live in the projects;

Nobody got time for your nonsense

New bike, but ain't paid it off yet

My psychic days your karma up next

I promise, the worse that my heart stops—

The harder and faster your corpse rots;

You'll probably sleep in a coffin—

(Tonight)

Or no more bike, back to walkin.

You wanna keep playing these games, sis?

Keep at it,

I'll be rich and famous.

Go double click on some fake pics

Go chase fake girls with the fake lips

Go save lunch money to buy fake tits

Keep giving em excuses to be racist

They hate us

All cause you done fuck up niggas

Keep folks up, that's why they don't trust niggas

Your whole motorcycle a slave boat nigga

Your whole Benz, that why they just roast niggas

How much you owe for the car note?

How much you owe for the car note?

Ho

How much you owe for the car note?

How much is four cups of Starbucks?

How much you owe for the car note?

Roll up, you'll probably get your throat punched.

Loud bikes cause ya'll ain't the smart folks—

Ya'll suck,

Ya'll autos is slave boats.

{Enter The Multiverse}

[The Festival Project.™]

COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2024

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

turn the light off then I'll sue the whole word on my irregular heartbeat, and my mama.

I don't give a fuuuuuuuuck.