Intimacy with the world Durita Holm

A conversation with the former chief editor of Esquire magazine, who abandoned all that outer success to become a ful-time yogi. He is now a renovned meditation teacher and author.

This is some of what we speak about:


Phillip tells us how in his early life he was both a work aholic as an entrepreneur, but at the same time he never put aside his interest in his inner life, which back then was expressed in his yoga practice.
his big concern was always what gives meaning to life
Phillip tells us how he took over Esquire magazine and converted the failing magazine into a success. And how then... in the middle of a meeting, he had a revelation flow through him: he had to follow a different path.
These revelations that have come to Philip regularly, he calls intuition.
He says, we must trust our body, feel ourselves embodied, that will lead to intuition
How challenges are more fun than just managing success
How it is so easy to become complacent in your life, when you are successful and life is easy
We talk about how each of us needs to find our path of wellbeing, which means finding authenticity, meaning, continuity and coherence in our life - and how this is a continuous path... you never arrive... because of the radical impermanence
Phillip talks about the basic conditions of this human realm, and how it is not a mistake, that there is suffering in this realm, but also, that we can work with this suffering...
we speak about the causes of suffering...
living a values-based life, based on wise view and vise intention - in each step living your values.
having a life of integrity and dignity is a satisfaction in itself
The nature of this realm is difficult
when you don't accept the basic reality as it is, you are more likely to create more suffering and unskilful actions
staying positive doesn't mean that you don't deeply accept suffering
There are two types of suffering, neurotic suffering and necessary suffering.
When we are in that reactive state we have bad judgment, and can't see clearly, we can't even see the happiness that is possible in life
The nature of this realm is desire, so we do need to work skillfully with them - it is the grasping and attachment to the outcomes of those desires which can easily become unwholesome
If you have a desirous mind, it is always going to be in that kind of state, no matter how much it achieves and gets.
The jungian notion of the second half of life, where we move away from building up the ego, and start seeing more clearly the reality of how things really are
There is nothing wrong with ambition, but what are the motives behind that ambition?
Life is always dancing around us, and we can participate in that dance in a skillful and joyful way. We can learn to be a good dance partner... We always have some choice to realign, to adjust our course.
It is not skillful to collapse or become bitter under all the suffering in the world, then we just add to the suffering.
So much of living is an art, where information must become knowledge.
We add to the suffering of the world when we resist reality
Phillip explains the four noble truths and how they truly are ennobling
Mindfulness without intention doesn't have direction, and intention without mindfulness forgets itself...

Phillip Moffitt's websites: www.dharmawisdom.org & https://lifebalance.org/institute/

Link to my course, Rewilding the Soul - Restoring Lifeforce & connecting to aliveness through nature & mindfulness:  app.mastermind.com/masterminds/29462

My website : www.duritaholm.com

John Lockley is a South African Shaman or Sangoma. He is also the author of the book: Leopard Warrior. We start our conversation by talking about how the principles of shamanism are the same all over the world, even in cultures that haven't had any contact for millennia.


connecting to life-force, and how we are related to this life-force: through the breath, the bones and the blood.
The aim of shamanism is to give our ego away in ceremony, to the life-force that created us - and by these practices we become lighter, and we are blessed by grace.
Many of these practices are also inspiring humility, for us to let go of our ego. So in the Sangoma practices are very close to the ground.
We beseech the ancient ones and the nature spirits through gratitude and through humbling ourselves to the earth mother.
enlightenment in shamanism is not a stage you attain, it is rather a continuous giving yourself away through prayer, gratitude and ceremony.
the true centre of the human being is actually the foot. and the foot connects you to the hara. John Lockley talks about how the base of the feet in ceremonial trance dancing, gives you that deep connection to the earth, actually feeling the earth.
Animals are the true gurus of the world, because they live so close to nature.
We speak about how trance-dancing connects us to the mystery, with the elemental forces of nature, at through that connection we can receive the wisdom downloads from the great mystery.
John tells us how being in nature is part of his spiritual practice. Listening to the land, the wind, and his to his own body, the rhythm, heartbeat and breathing. And how the walking can even bring him into trance.
We need to feel our body touching the earth, and that can be such a joyful and intimate experience.
The only real answer to the environmental challenges, is through the deep listening to the earth itself.
We speak about what the soul is. To John, it is the immortal part of us, and through the shamanistic practices, including our dreams, we can connect to the soul.
We talk about how the people of the past who lived with that connection to the dreams and the life-force, telling them how to live and which plants to use for healing, didn't get ill, they only knew life and death, not illness. And that came down to their deep humility and listening to the earth.
The most important question is: what is sacred to you, and if nothing is sacred, then that is where your work lies
The purpose of life, is to find your purpose
The reason for someones struggles with soullesness, is due to a lack of magic in their life. A lack of wonder...
One of the questions to ask to enter into that kind of wonder, is to start with the question: "what brings you joy?"
Each person needs to find out what brings them in touch with the magic of life - find what is sacred for them.
We speak about feelings of aloneness and loneliness, and how becoming a shaman is a calling, it is not something you choose. And we speak about the western worlds glamourising of shamanism. Whereas it is actually pretty hard being a shaman, as they are so sensitive and feel everything.
A shaman is not part of the crowd, because if you are part of the crowd, you can't listen to the spirits.
We speak about all the gifts of learning and speaking another language. How you have to learn to really listen, become humble and childlike again.

John's website: www.johnlockley.com

Link to my course, Rewilding the Soul - Restoring Lifeforce & connecting to aliveness through nature & mindfulness: https://durita75.mastermind.com/masterminds/29462

My website :www.duritaholm.com

Anne Cushman tells us how she came to meditation when at university, because this world-religions class was the only class that would allow her to sleep in, as it started at 11 o'clock. Then, of course she found that she loved the class, and all its existential issues. And she ended up getting her major in religion, focusing particularly on Buddhism and Hinduism.

However, reading all these books about buddhism and Hinduism, it became clear to her, that this couldn't be just theoretical, that she would have to start practicing meditation and yoga to truly understand the texts.

We are compelled to continue practicing meditation because there is pain and suffering in our lives, and in meditation and yoga, we find a way through that pain and hardship - a learning to be with life as it is.

The overarching theme of Anne's book, The mama sutra, is the path to awakening through motherhood

I ask Anne if having children isn't an impediment to awakening?

Anne tells us how the teachings were mostly passed down through monastics, who didn't

In any case, practice happens where the intention of our wise heart meets the reality of our lives, and that is so whether you are in a monastery or rocking a baby

Motherhood also makes you meet your edges, motherhood can me very hard...

Motherhood is so good at showing us where we are stuck, where we need to grow

Thich nah Han when asked, said that monastic and lay practice is exactly the same, only that lay practice is harder and more challenging

What Anne really wants to do in the mama sutra is depict the reality of motherhood. At how hard it actually is...

When things are harmonious, its great to practice, but always knowing, that things will change...

The fundamental teaching of mindfulness is, that you always start right where you are, so you can never rely only on your past practice, it is always here and now.

Children are unpredictable, immediate and authentic, so they call forth those qualities in us.

I ask Anne about how her years of prior practice supported her through the loss of a child, and then a year later the birth of her second child, who was very demanding as a baby.

Anne tells us how one of the effects of her meditation practice going through all that was the tremendous softening of her heart and being, instead of a hardening, which is also a possibility when life gets really difficult.

We are attached to life as primal as the umbilical cord, thick and coiled and throbbing with blood

We talk about words like the observer in mindfulness, or witnessing, or meeting experience...

How we can train our capacity to hold our experience with more loving kindness

We speak about "who" or "what" this observer or witness in mindfulness is...

How you can connect deeper to your life through writing, and how sometimes new wisdom you didn't know you had, can emerge through your fingers.

Journaling gives us a place to put things, to put aspects of our lives and our character

when we are writing we are always connecting to the larger humanity, to something larger than just ourselves

We talk about the sacred feminine, or about how some experiences that women have can be qualitatively different. An honouring of the relational, the intuitive, the embodied, the connection to the earth...

Anne tells us how online retreats have been such a blessing for many women with children, and how real life reality can then be held in the support of a retreat.

If we are paying attention, one of the things we feel as we become a mother, is this intimate connection to the web of life, this cycle of life that sustains us all. Motherhood as a portal to loving all of life.

www.annecushman.com

www.duritaholm.com

Trudy Goodman tells us how she came to meditation because although she had done everything right in life, exactly as was expected of a young woman, she still felt that something wasn't quite right, and she didn't understand why.


She also tells us about some big spiritual openings that she didn't understand, and hoped that maybe some spiritual teacher might be able to put into context.
Just keeping life together was challenging as a young single parent
The world of psychedelics, why do I have to be stoned to see the sacredness of the world, and she sought out a spiritual teacher together with her friend Jon Kabat-Zinn.
When we sit down with ourselves, we encounter the whole of who we are, if we dare to sit with it.
She tells us about two of her spiritual openings, one at childbirth and one when her daughter was very ill.
How we have to be aware that, even if we all have the same human heart and capabilities, every persons experience is so different, and how trauma f.ex. will inform how we experience meditation, or dropping into the body.
The importance of deep listening to other's experiences, and then learning from that.
Being sensitive and respectful to all those different identities in the world.
Trudy tells us about her shift from Zen to vipassana.
The pain of her divorce from a zen teacher was the catalyst for her change into the insight tradition.
Trudy speaks about how she and her husband, Jack Kornfield teach in very different ways.
The difference between zen and insight is like poetry and prose.
Trudy and I jump in to some pithy short zen- teachings.
Do whatever you do fully and completely.
I ask Trudy how mindfulness grows in someone who has practised for so many years.
Nobody is mindful 24/7, not even the greatest teachers, but the ability increases as we practice.
Slowly there is a shift, where being present and aware is most of the time, and you notice when you are lost.
When we can't accept ourselves, we are in conflict with ourselves.
Awareness is a light, that can shine on anything, even the darkest thing.
IFS internal family systems talks about the exiled parts of ourselves, to also accept them.
We speak about the term Loving awareness, coined by Ram Das.
Trudy tells us about how to acquire wisdom even at a young age.
Gratitude is a big part of wisdom!
Our life has all the ingredients to be our biggest and truest teacher!
In mindfulness we don't change what is happening, but rather we develop a loving wise relationship to whatever is happening.
The importance of trust, the trust that everything that happens to you, has some kind of meaning.
How a painful divorce taught Trudy to expand her window of tolerance and her compassion.
A huge part of our meditation practice is developing a heart that is open enough to hold opposite experiences
Trudy tells us about her memoir writing - her dharmemoir!
Trudy's website: www.trudygoodman.com
My website: www.duritaholm.com

A conversation about meditation in different Buddhist traditions, especially the Theravada, where western mindfulness has its roots, and the quite different Tibetan vajrayana tradition.

These are some of the topics we speak about:


The power of having a lot of silent time in nature with your own heart and mind, how this connects you to yourself and how being with your own pain, opens your heart
She wrote her undergraduate thesis on meditation and ADHD
Why meditation has become so mainstream at this point in time, that it might also be because of all the scientific research shoving the benefits. This and all the challenges of our time, climate change, pandemics, anxiety, depression, insomnia.
We speak about what it means when we take the spirituality out of mindfulness, also with respect to cultural appropriation.
How Buddhism has always moved around into different cultures at different times, and it is interesting how it is adapting in our secularised cultures
What are the benefits of having a spiritual dimension to your meditation practice
The importance of becoming clear about our motivations for practising.
Buddha taught freedom from suffering - that is a radical promise!
How often unexpected things happen when you start meditating, and your practice and motivations might change
How going too deep too fast can be risky and even damaging
We speak about the differences between early Buddhism, the Theravada tradition and the Tibetan, vajrayana buddhist tradition.
The wildness of vajrayana buddhism
How the Theravada buddhism adapts better to a secular society.
How vajrayana buddhism is quite shamanic, mystical and magical, and actually takes some kind of devotion.
There is something in the human soul that longs for mysticism and devotion.
The sacredness of the world is missing today, and that might be at the root of our problems.
All indigenous traditions have this notion of the divine and the mystical
We speak about westerners teaching Tibetan, vajrayana buddhism
We speak about the progression from early buddhism to Mahayana and then vajrayana in Tibet
Devons thoughts about how we in the west have to be very respectful of the traditional and deeply culturally rooted practises of Tibetan buddhism, and how she is hesitant about our western way of appropriating these old practices, without perhaps always being ready for them.
I ask Devon if it is not a pulling back from life and society when she goes on these long retreats.
We speak about the danger of just wanting to escape from the world, when we go on long retreats
Retreat practice is such fertile ground for growing compassion, wisdom and equanimity, and when you come out of retreat you have so much energy and resourcefulness to engage with the communities, and how one also often develops much more creative responses to our challenges.
Does Devon think that deep meditative practice influence and contributes positively to the collective consciousness?
How intimacy with the world also means not turning away from the difficulty, for example climate change.
How retreat practice grows this feeling of deep belonging to nature, and how this intimacy fosters a different view, where we don't want to plunder natures resources.
Most things that are worth doing are difficult, and how sitting for long periods of time with your mind is messy and difficult, but its worth while to grow our hearts and minds.

Devon's website: https://devonandnicohase.com

My website: https://duritaholm.com

Home is not a stable concept, we are continually engaged in placemaking. Our perception of stability is just an illusion
We live in a processual, relational universe that is constantly emerging and open ended in its becoming
To solve the problems humanity is facing at the moment, we need to move beyond modernity and postmodernity, beyond just critiquing - we need something energetically different
Our work is not to contain this chaotic flow of reality, where everything radically interacts in ways beyond our understanding. Our work is to account for the ways we show up in the world, so that we might meet and engage with other spaces of power
How the world works, and where it goes, is not entirely up to us. Agency can not be seen as a matter of anthropocentric, human centred approaches. It is not just left to us to save the day, we need a broader understanding of what constitutes reality.
When we try to solve climate-change, we are still trying to solve it within a instrumentalist, hierarchical, patriarchal paradigm. As if we can in one phallic move fix the issues. This is extremely human framed.
Another move, is to notice, that we are climate-change - all of us, the whole world.
There is nothing that is old, that is not new, and there is nothing that is new that is not old.
It is not that all was fine and dandy in the past…
Is it even possible to correlate agency and power with skill?
It is interesting to behold, that the virus that is now upsetting the human world so greatly, that the sum of those covid-viruses that have inflicted havoc on us, would fit into a tea-spoon.
The invitation is to stay with the trouble and with the smallness, maybe that is all we need
It is not about not doing anything, it is about disturbing the assumptions in which we frame actions and solutions.
It seems that when we apply grand solutions to our problems, they mostly seem to create new problems.
Maybe we need to slow down, we need to dismantle our known ways, and let new ways come to us.
There is a lot more happening than we are able to detect. There is the molar and the molecular. The molecular is hardly perceivable, but it is happening, it is small but not insignificant in any way.
In these difficult times, It is a matter of shape shifting, and that doesn’t mean moving towards a harmonious, utopia. Its about opening ourselves to new problems, new critiques, all the different kinds of shadows as well as new ways of potentially being in the world.
Even when I come to an understanding, that not all that much is up to me, I will still find myself trying to control life and the world.
32:00 We are not individuals, we are all part of a larger flow of becomings… we are more spread out than we think we are - and this can be quite liberating
There is something emancipating about seeing agency as not human based, but ecological…
Maybe we humans aren’t as exceptional as we tend to think
This is about us noticing, that we are indebted with the world around us. An invitation to find new coalitions to act within.
There are cultures that have the capacity to engage with the remarkable complexities and paradoxes of the world.
The past is part of the thick now…
It is possible that there is a field of resonance, that feelings are volatile and atmospheric…
The pandemic can be seen as an opening, as a portal. What we need, is to get lost - not the salvation!
The difference between home-making and home-coming
Even place is a practice - it is not a static container

www.bayoakomolafe.net

www.duritaholm.com