Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship

Nina Badzin
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Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship

As seen in The Wall Street Journal, Washington Post, Time Magazine, The Guardian, and elsewhere, DEAR NINA helps you with the ups and downs of friendship. Why didn't your friend text you back? Why weren't you included in her birthday dinner? What if your friend's kid is picking on your kid? These questions come up no matter your age and background. Friendship is tricky, even for grownups. I'm your host, Nina Badzin. Since 2014 I've been fostering discussions about the nitty gritty of adult friendships with sensitivity and practicality in my friendship advice column. Friendship is an endless, timeless, fascinating topic, and the more anonymous letters I receive and consider, the more I personally learn about being a better friend and having better friends. I always love hearing from readers and listeners. My work on friendship is meant to be a conversation between us and between you and your friends. I hope you will share your thoughts with me and with each other. Instagram and Tiktok: @dearninafriendship Newsletter: dearnina.substack.com Website: dearninafriendship.com All links: linktr.ee/ninabadzin

  1. Grieving the End of a Friendship: Revisiting with Diamonde Williamson

    7 HR AGO

    Grieving the End of a Friendship: Revisiting with Diamonde Williamson

    Episode #122: Friendship breakups are an ageless, universal issue. In my 10 years of writing about friendship and receiving many anonymous letters, I've seen that it makes little difference in the grief process if there was a direct conversation with the friend, a fade out, or an abrupt ghosting. No matter the circumstances, we must take time to heel when a friend is no longer in our lives. Today's episode is a revisit of my conversation with Diamonde Williamson, who found a way to make art from a painful friendship breakup and help others face their feelings of grief, loss, rejection, and loneliness. Learn more about Diamonde's documentary, Best Friends Not Forever. And you must see her visual art on Instagram at @therealdiamonde. Links mentioned in the episode: The episode with one of my best friends about the years we stopped being friends and how we reconnected: "Reconnecting with an ex-friend." Recent anonymous question in my newsletter, "The Friends Who Rejected Us: Thank you" Meet Diamonde Williamson Diamonde Williamson is the Founder and CEO of Third and Wonder Production House, the go-to media and production company for Black women and Black culture, specializing in branded, documentary, and unscripted formats. She’s created hundreds of videos for notable clientele like: The Oprah Winfrey Network, Google, Warner Bros., Essence, and more. Learn more about her original documentary, Best Friends Not Forever, and her highly praised podcast Meet Me in the Deep. Her continued goal is to build community and produce entertaining, empowering and relatable art for Black women. You can also find Diamonde on Instagram @therealdiamonde.   Let's connect over all things friendship!  My Substack newsletter about friendship & moreA guide to pitching yourself as a guestInstagram , TikTok,  Twitter, Youtube, ThreadsJOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Ask an anonymous question  Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    26 min
  2. Rules For Making Plans With Friends: Letter Spotlight

    20 NOV

    Rules For Making Plans With Friends: Letter Spotlight

    Episode #121: Are there rules for making plans with friends? Who should be the one to suggest the day, time, and place? If you reach out for plans, should you also throw out some dates that might work? OR, do you wait for the other person to "prove" their interest by offering some dates on the calendar? The short answer: there are no rules. The longer answer (only 16 minutes), is this week's episode-- "Rules for Making Plans With Friends." It's the newest letter spotlight episode, which gave me the chance to answer two anonymous friendship dilemmas and talk about a long-held pet peeve of mine when making plans. I hope this episode helps you schedule time with friends!  Resources and links mentioned in the episode: Previous letter spotlight episode: "Friendships Between Sisters-in-Law"Previous letter spotlight episode: "Friends Who Never Ask About You"Episode 120 with Emma Nadler: "6 Ways to Be a More Generous Friend"The Joy of Connections by Ruth Westheimer and Allison GilbertEpisode 116 with Allison Gilbert: "Lose Track of Who Makes the Plans and 7 Other Friendship Tips From Dr. Ruth" Let's connect over all things friendship!  My Substack newsletter about friendship & moreA guide to pitching yourself as a guestInstagram , TikTok,  Twitter, Youtube, ThreadsJOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Ask an anonymous question  Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    17 min
  3. 6 Ways to be More Generous in Your Friendships (and why it’s worth trying), with Emma Nadler

    13 NOV

    6 Ways to be More Generous in Your Friendships (and why it’s worth trying), with Emma Nadler

    Being generous in our friendships makes us better friends and keeps solid friends in our lives. We're not talking about money here! To quote this week's guest, relationship-based therapist and author, Emma Nadler, "When we act more generously we feel better. So there's a lot in it for you, too." We discussed Emma's top five ways to be a more generous friend, and I added one of mine to the list. So yes, in 29 minutes you're getting SIX ways to be more generous in your friendships, which research links to a happier, more fulfilling life.  Emma Nadler is a psychotherapist, author, and speaker. Her memoir, The Unlikely Village of Eden, is about learning to adapt when life doesn’t go to plan, redefining community, and creating your own imperfect path. She has also written for The Washington Post, Salon, Huffington Post, and Newsweek, among others. In her private practice, she helps people build deeper relationships—including friendships—and cultivate more of what they want, even with life's inevitable challenges. Find Emma's newsletter on Substack: "Hope is the New Hot" and she's on Instagram @emmanadlerwrites. Resources and links mentioned in the episode:Emma's article in Next Avenue, "5 Ways to be a More Generous Friend"Emma's memoir, The Unlikely Village of EdenEmma's first episode on Dear Nina, "How to Support a Friend Facing an Ambiguous Loss""Most generous interpretation" -- a concept discussed often by Dr. Becky KennedyAnna Goldfarb's second episode on Dear Nina, "The 14-Day Friendship Cleanse"Anna Goldfarb's book, Modern FriendshipOlga Khazan's articles: "The Friendship Paradox" and "Stop Firing Your Friends"Our friend Debra's instagram: @fortheloveofcookbooksPrevious episode with Jill Smokler and battling cancer and how friends can show up in support PLEASE NOTE: Listening to this podcast in no way creates a client/therapist relationship with Emma Nadler. This is educational in nature. No legal, counseling, or other professional services are being rendered and nothing is intended to provide such services or advice of any kind. If you are having a mental health emergency, please contact 911 or go to your nearest emergency room. You can also text or call 988 for the National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. Let's connect over all things friendship! My Substack newsletter about friendship & moreA guide to pitching yourself as a guestInstagram , TikTok,  Twitter, Youtube, ThreadsJOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Ask an anonymous question Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    30 min
  4. Reviving Friendships That Drifted Apart (even decades later): Kay Paschal

    5 NOV

    Reviving Friendships That Drifted Apart (even decades later): Kay Paschal

    What if your next good friend is an old friend who drifted away from your life for reasons of circumstance and not personality or hurt feelings? If you're in a stage of life where you're lonely, you've moved, or you simply want to shake up your social life, your next solid friendship might be waiting for you in "the past." Yes, reviving old friendships could be the missing piece in your current friendships. Maybe you went to college with this friend, worked together, sat on the bleachers when the kids were young, or met from any number of ways we connect with others. Not all past friendships merit a revival, but some do! My guest is author Kay Paschal, who shares her story of having a really tight group of friends in her 20s who welcomed her back in after decades of little time together. Now retired, Kay is reflective on friendships in a way that inspired me. I think you'll enjoy what she has to say. Some other points discussed in the episode: This very natural fade is somewhat related to episode #109 with Dr. Miriam Kirmayer about "quiet quitting." Kay and I are discussing reviving those friendships when it might fill out your social world in a different stage of life.Friendships fade when "the third place" disappears. (Example: You're no longer on the bleachers together watching the kids play baseball.)The often quoted study about replacing friends every seven years. (Comes up in many episodes!)Avoid burning a bridge in relationships.Developing an "open-door policy" in your mindset about past friendshipsLook for a friend, not a group.Thank that friend who does so much of the planning and inviting! (Shout out to Kay's friend, Linda.)The natural feelings of wondering why you weren't invited when certain members of a group get together without you.Kay: "You can't invite 10 people to everything you do." Meet Kay Paschal: After founding and owning 2 private preschools for 25 years in Atlanta, Kay started a new career by writing a book and speaking to moms and women's organizations and participating in parenting conferences around the country. Kay's book, Insert Giggle Giggle: Laughing Your Way through Raising Kids and Running a Business was recognized by Zibby Owens Media as a Finalist, Best Book for the Parent. Kay also hosts a podcast on Spotify, Kay's Gigglecast, with short, 10-minute grabs on women issues that are easy to consume while multi-tasking through your day. Find Kay on her website and on Instagram.   Let's connect over all things friendship!  My Substack newsletter about friendship & moreA guide to pitching yourself as a guestInstagram , TikTok,  Twitter, Youtube, ThreadsJOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Ask an anonymous question Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    27 min
  5. Navigating Post-30s Friendship Struggles Through Social Prescribing

    30 OCT

    Navigating Post-30s Friendship Struggles Through Social Prescribing

    Episode #118: "Social" prescriptions from your doctor? Yes! What if for the sake of our mental and physical health doctors wrote prescriptions for cycling groups, fishing clubs, or volunteer positions on a farm? Those are real scenarios in Julia Hotz's THE CONNECTION CURE: The Prescriptive Power of Movement, Nature, Art, Service and Belonging, "the first book exploring the science, stories, and spread of social prescribing." In today's episode, a perfect follow-up to last week's episode on the importance of hobbies for the empty nest and retirement, Julia and I discussed these activity-based and creative "medical" solutions to the post-30s friendship struggles that are so commonplace nowadays as people live far from previous friends and family, work remotely, and spend more time than ever on screens. WHAT IS SOCIAL PRESCRIBING? In Julia's words, "Social, in the public health context, is about everything in a person's environment from where they live, to how they cope with stress, to what their job is like, and whether it fulfills them. All of these things boil down to what are called your social determinants of health. We have data showing that up to 80% of our health is determined by these social factors. What social prescribing then refers to is any non-medical community-based activity or resource that is prescribed to improve your health and well-being." MY FAVORITE QUOTE IN THE BOOK: “This book is guided by real patients' lived experiences, but everyone's lived experience is different. In fact, that's what social prescribing is all about. Instead of what's the matter with you, a fixed list of symptoms, it focuses on what matters to you." MEET JULIA HOTZJulia Hotz is a solutions journalist and author of THE CONNECTION CURE: The Prescriptive Power of Movement, Nature, Art, Service and Belonging (Simon & Schuster). The book has been featured in NBC, BBC, Scientific American, NPR, GOOP, The Good Life Project and more. Find Julia on socialprescribing.co and Instagram. LINKS MENTIONED IN THE EPISODEStudy showing we lose half of our friends every seven years.Skip the Small Talk events are grounded in psychology research that help strangers get to know each other and help with practicing vulnerability in conversation.Dear Nina: The (Facebook) Group where we have been compiling a great list of hobbies have started and groups people have joined. Let's connect over all things friendship! My Substack newsletter about friendship & moreDear Nina website with show notes and a guide to pitching yourself as a guestInstagram , TikTok, Twitter, Youtube, ThreadsJOIN the Dear Nina Facebook groupAsk an anonymous question Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    32 min
  6. Hobbies and Friendship: Preparing (early!) for the Empty Nest and Retirement: Dara Collins and Donna Kassman

    23 OCT

    Hobbies and Friendship: Preparing (early!) for the Empty Nest and Retirement: Dara Collins and Donna Kassman

    "Many friends are entering the empty nest phase of their lives and some are really dreading it. Celebrities like Brooke Shields share on social media how they aren't ready. Planning ahead by embracing new hobbies and friendships can help change the focus during this major life shift." Those words are from guests Dara Collins and Donna Kassman, queens of mahjong and canasta. Maybe a game is not your thing, that's okay. There is a new (or old!) passion out there waiting for you. I started ... Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    29 min
  7. Lose Track of Who Makes the Plans and 7 Other Friendship Tips from Dr. Ruth: with Allison Gilbert

    16 OCT

    Lose Track of Who Makes the Plans and 7 Other Friendship Tips from Dr. Ruth: with Allison Gilbert

    Episode #116: What a thrill to interview author and journalist Allison Gilbert, who met with Dr. Ruth Westheimer, of blessed memory, every week for a year during what would be the last year of Dr. Ruth's life. Together they worked on Dr. Ruth's final book, The Joy of Connections: 100 Ways to Beat Loneliness and Live a Happier and More Meaningful Life.Dr. Ruth was determined to help people suffering from loneliness and dysfunctional friendships, and I believe this book accomplishes that task. ... Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    33 min
  8. Quick Friendship Tip: Use the Freshmen Energy Trick to Make New Friends as an Adult

    8 OCT

    Quick Friendship Tip: Use the Freshmen Energy Trick to Make New Friends as an Adult

    Episode #115: Today's "Quick Friendship Tip" is about how to capture the attitude and spirit of that special "freshman energy" apparent on any college campus in the first three weeks of school when making new friends as an adult.There is something real happening in that freshman year, specifically the first three weeks, that is magical for friend making. I saw it while dropping off my son for his freshmen year of college in August, and I remember it from my own freshmen year. I'm gratef... Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    9 min
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As seen in The Wall Street Journal, Washington Post, Time Magazine, The Guardian, and elsewhere, DEAR NINA helps you with the ups and downs of friendship. Why didn't your friend text you back? Why weren't you included in her birthday dinner? What if your friend's kid is picking on your kid? These questions come up no matter your age and background. Friendship is tricky, even for grownups. I'm your host, Nina Badzin. Since 2014 I've been fostering discussions about the nitty gritty of adult friendships with sensitivity and practicality in my friendship advice column. Friendship is an endless, timeless, fascinating topic, and the more anonymous letters I receive and consider, the more I personally learn about being a better friend and having better friends. I always love hearing from readers and listeners. My work on friendship is meant to be a conversation between us and between you and your friends. I hope you will share your thoughts with me and with each other. Instagram and Tiktok: @dearninafriendship Newsletter: dearnina.substack.com Website: dearninafriendship.com All links: linktr.ee/ninabadzin

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