Come Chai with me Simmi Arora

Welcome to the new season 3 of Come chai with me, once again, hosted by Simmi Arora. On this episode her co-hosts are: Daksha Mistry and Manjusha Malhotra. This episode focuses on understanding and outlining what makes a good conversation.

How important is listening in a conversation?
Conversation is a mental link that connects humans, it’s an adventure and it gives us a whole new prospective. It can define who we are as humans and can help us make friends out of strangers. It can make peace but can also make war!

This podcast is inspired by Celeste Headlee’s Ted talk on 10 ways to have a better conversation: We Need to Talk - the talk gives listeners 10 simple tools to help facilitate better conversations, ranging from the errors we routinely make, for exampling putting down our smartphone when being face to face with someone, to the less obvious blind spots that can sabotage any conversation, including knowing when not to talk, being aware of our own bias and avoiding putting yourself at the centre of a discussion. When your job hinges on how well you talk to people, you learn a lot about how to have conversations and that most of us don't converse very well.

Celeste Headlee has worked as a radio host for decades and she knows the ingredients of a great conversation: Honesty, brevity, clarity and a healthy amount of listening. In her career as a National Public Radio host, journalist Celeste Headlee has interviewed hundreds of people from all walks of life, and if there's one thing she's learned, it's that it's hard to overestimate the power of conversation and its ability to both bridge gaps and deepen wounds. In her Ted talk she shares what she's learned on the job about how to have effective, meaningful and respectful conversations in every area of our lives. Now more than ever, Headlee argues, we must begin to talk to and, more importantly, listen to one another - including those with whom we disagree.

Conversation is like reading a book, an opportunity to learn from others. In Bill Nighy’s words, ‘Everyone you will ever meet will know something that you don’t.’

As Maya Angelou once said, ‘ I have learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.’

We hope that you find this episode interesting and useful.

Trying new experiences not only helps us vanquish some fears but it also allows us to expand our minds and learn. Your brain will thank you for trying. Unless you try new things you may never know your true passion, purpose or power. The more new and fun things you do, the more fulfilling and satisfying your life becomes.

Psychological research suggests that, in the long run, experiences make people happier than possessions. That's in part because the initial joy of acquiring a new object such as a car, fades over time. People become accustomed to seeing it all the time. Experts say experiences on the one hand, continue to provide happiness through memories. Another reason for increased happiness long after the event occurred. Another reason for increased happiness in experiences the researchers found was that people felt a a greater sense of vitality or 'being alive' during the experience and in reflection a researcher said, 'As nice as your new computer is, its not going to make you feel alive'.

After listening to a variety of podcasts, Manju, Kiki and Simmi discuss their own experiences. They share some ideas on activities both big and small that can be incorporated in everyone's lives.

Failure is part of trying something new but...'Life begins at the end of your comfort zone'!

We all love to hear the giggling, cackling and uninhibited screams of joy from children who are out and about playing. Seeing children playing is a joyous moment in itself. It can make us think back to simpler times in our own childhood, if we were lucky enough to have one that included a lot of fun, laughter and play.

Play in childhood leads to healthy adulthood. The list of benefits for children is endless from learning social interaction, figuring out how to solve problems without adult intervention, standing up for yourself and even making mistakes and apologising.

Research shows that children who are deprived of play can have long term impacts such as isolation, depression, reduced self-control and poor resilience. As adults we often give up play for more serious persuits such as careers, our relationships and our families; all of which are valid pursuits.

Play for adults is critical in our busy, stressful lives.  It has been shown to release endorphins and improve brain functionality. Playful characteristics can lead to lower blood pressure. One study found being ‘playful’ makes you more attractive and can help you feel more young and energetic.

Simmi, Kiki and Manju agree with a lot of what has been discussed in the associated podcasts and Ted Talks they have listened to about the benefits of play and having fun as an adult. They also talk 8 play personality types and uncover which particular one they fit into! Play isn’t something new that you have to do. It’s tapping back to something that is personal and fulfilling. They share their own thoughts and ideas of what play means and how to incorporate it into everyday life, even if it’s just finding micro-moments of play.

Experiment a bit and find out what works for you.  We could all use a bit more play in our responsible, adult lives. 'We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.’ - George Bernard Shaw

References:


Yolonda Tyler at TEDxBoggyCreek - The Importance of PLAY in adulthood and childhood.
Stuart Brown: Book - Play: How It Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul & his TED Talk - Play is more than fun
Commons Copyright observed.

Welcome to Part 2 of 2 where we continue to explore why 'Community’ is central to the human experience. Last month Kiki, Simi and Manju discussed how some communities come together to create phenomenal changes in their own and other's lives.

In Part 2 we're joined by our guest Harsha Burton. Harsha guides us through what impact she has had on her local community and her amazing work as run Director for Junior Park Run.

Part 1 of 2 explores why 'Community’ is central to the human experience. Essentially, a community is a social group whose members have something in common such as geographic location, culture, heritage or a shared passion or hobby.

Why are communities important?
Strong communities are critical because they are often an important source of social connection and a sense of belonging.
Participating in a community bonded by attitudes, values and goals is an essential ingredient to enjoying a fulfilling life.

Frances Moore Lappe , author of: 'You have the Power: Choosing Courage in a Culture of Fear’ says  'Community for me is nurturing, human connection is our survival. We humans wither outside of community. It isn’t a luxury, a nice thing; community is essential to our well being.’

After listening to podcasts from Johann Hari - Kiki, Simi and Manju discuss how some communities come together to create phenomenal changes in their own and other's lives.

A public health study done in Canada even ranked social isolation as a higher risk factor for premature death.
We are 'social beings’ so feeling disconnected from others can deeply affect our self-perception and emotional health.

In Part 2 we're joined by our guest Harsha Burton. Harsha guides us through what impact she has had on her local community and her amazing work as run Director for Junior Park Run. 

This month Simmi has 2 new guests Dr Savi Arora and Rohin Arora, whilst the regular co-hosts have hopped across the pond (UK to US) to research a future episode that incorporates the delights of Nashville and New Orleans! (Hint: A future episode will be dedicated to music! ).
The average human lifespan is absurdly, terrifyingly, insultingly short. But that isn't a reason for unremitting despair, or for living in an anxiety-fuelled panic about making the most of your limited time. It's a cause for relief. You get to give up on something that was always impossible - the quest to become an optimised, infinitely capable, emotionally invincible, fully independent person you're officially supposed to be. Then you get to roll up your sleeves and start work on what's gloriously possible instead.
The author Oliver Burkeman recognises that trying to cram more and more tasks into already overfilled adult lives is not effective, and that going in the opposite direction helps one to be truly productive. If you have ever felt that efficiency means that more gets poured into your cup simply because you found a way to drink faster, this could be a helpful manifesto for you.
This Podcast discusses if our lives will be truly fulfilled if are able to manage our 'to do' lists better. Can we say that it was purposeful Vs our desires? Should we not try to fulfil our dreams now than leaving it for later. 
In other words you cannot give your life more time, so give the time you have more life.

References:

Oliver Burkeman Ted talk
Dr Rangan Chatterjee Feel Better live more - Episode #260 - How to stop feeling overwhelmed with Oliver Burkeman