Don't Cut Your Own Bangs

Danielle Ireland
  • 5.0 (1)
  • SELF-IMPROVEMENT
  • EVERY TWO WEEKS

The space between where you are now and where you want to be can feel daunting and lonely. This podcast is the remedy to comparison and feeling like everyone else has it figured out but you. Each episode contains personal insights from her work as a therapist and taking a deeper look at the messy middle between before and after stories. Danielle wants to help you make big feelings feel less scary, easier to understand and approaching them possible. And, wherever possible - to laugh as much as possible.

  1. The Invisible Mental Load: Why You’re So Tired (Even When Nothing Big Happened)

    6 DAYS AGO

    The Invisible Mental Load: Why You’re So Tired (Even When Nothing Big Happened)

    Ever feel completely drained at the end of the day… but can’t point to one big thing that explains it? That’s the invisible mental load - at work, at home, in life. In this solo episode of Don’t Cut Your Own Bangs, Danielle Ireland unpacks the unseen weight of constant remembering, planning, and worrying—and how small, doable shifts can lighten that load. ✨ This is part of the Put the Panic Down mini-series, a kind guide to stress—because you deserve calm without having to earn it. 🔑 In this episode: What the invisible mental load is (and how it shows up in your day) Why “chasing your to-do list” drains you more than it helps How a one-minute pause can reset your whole system Listening to your body’s cues for when it’s time to stop, delegate, or ask for help Three gentle shifts you can start practicing today to ease stress 💬 Quotes to remember: “You don’t have to do more to deserve a break. You are worthy of rest right now.” “The root of exhaustion isn’t doing more—it’s noticing when the chasing is draining you.” 👉 If this episode resonates, share it with a friend who might also need this reminder. And don’t forget to subscribe so new episodes find you—no chasing required. 📚 Mentioned in this episode: Wrestling a Walrus: For Little People with Big Feelings – Danielle’s children’s book on emotions Wrestling a Walrus RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE TO “DON’T CUT YOUR OWN BANGS”  Like your favorite recipe or song, the best things in life are shared. When you rate, review, and subscribe to this podcast, your engagement helps me connect  with other listeners just like you. Plus, subscriptions just make life easier for everybody. It's one less thing for you to think about and you can easily keep up to date on everything that’s new. So, please rate, review, and subscribe today.    DANIELLE IRELAND, LCSW I greatly appreciate your support and engagement as part of the Don't Cut Your Own Bangs community. Feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or anything you'd like to share. You can connect with me at any of the links below.   Connect with Danielle: Watch the show on YouTube Instagram The Treasured Journal Wrestling a Walrus 00:00 Introduction and Series Overview 02:52 The Invisible Mental Load 06:59 Practical Tips for Mindfulness 12:36 Recognizing and Communicating Needs 23:10 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

    25 min
  2. Suck the Joy Out of Life: Lessons in Love, Loss, and Letting Go with Dr. Tasha Faruqui

    18 AUG

    Suck the Joy Out of Life: Lessons in Love, Loss, and Letting Go with Dr. Tasha Faruqui

    When life doesn’t go as planned, how do you keep going — and still find joy along the way? In this moving conversation, pediatrician, rare disease advocate, and author Dr. Tasha Faruki joins me to share her extraordinary journey as a mother navigating her daughter’s complex medical needs. From the first whispers that something was different, to the raw reality of “failure to thrive,” to redefining joy through Make-A-Wish surfboards in Hawaii, Dr. Tasha’s story is one of grit, surrender, and radical love. We talk about: Trusting your instincts when everyone says “don’t worry” Letting go of the plan you thought your life would follow Siblings, family repair, and the unspoken challenges behind the scenes The power of asking “Why not?” instead of “Why me?” Living by the family motto: Suck the joy out of life Some quotes from the episode: "Our children carry the medicine we need." "I had to stop waiting for joy to fall into my lap and start intentionally finding it." "It’s incredibly brutal and it’s incredibly beautiful — and both can be true." 📖 Pre-order Dr. Tasha’s memoir Keep Your Head Up — proceeds benefit children’s organizations. 📌 Follow Dr. Tasha’s work and connect through the links below. Whether you’re a parent, a caregiver, or simply someone learning to make space for big feelings, this episode will meet you in the messy middle — where it’s incredibly brutal and incredibly beautiful, often at the same time. Pre-order her book here: https://a.co/d/cDtfa8i Dr. Tasha Faruqui: https://www.tashafaruqui.com/about   RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE TO “DON’T CUT YOUR OWN BANGS”  Like your favorite recipe or song, the best things in life are shared. When you rate, review, and subscribe to this podcast, your engagement helps me connect  with other listeners just like you. Plus, subscriptions just make life easier for everybody. It's one less thing for you to think about and you can easily keep up to date on everything that’s new. So, please rate, review, and subscribe today.    DANIELLE IRELAND, LCSW I greatly appreciate your support and engagement as part of the Don't Cut Your Own Bangs community. Feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or anything you'd like to share. You can connect with me at any of the links below.   Connect with Danielle: Watch the show on YouTube Instagram The Treasured Journal Wrestling a Walrus   00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview 01:08 Introducing Dr. Tasha Fari 04:22 Dr. Tasha's Journey Begins 05:24 Early Signs and Medical Challenges 07:21 Navigating Medical Advice and Doubts 09:36 The Breaking Point and Advocacy 12:05 Diagnosis and Urgency 14:36 Facing the Unknown and Seeking Answers 16:12 The Emotional Toll and Medical System Challenges 18:44 A Mother's Intuition and Medical Advocacy 20:21 The Long Road Ahead 20:52 Military Life and Medical Support 23:23 Preparing for the Next Steps 36:36 Emotional Appointment and Medical Decisions 38:22 Surrendering to Uncertainty 41:44 The Role of Joy and Acceptance 44:14 Make-A-Wish and Family Transformation 46:24 Balancing Family and Medical Challenges 50:32 Parenting and Personal Growth 55:06 The Decision to Have a Third Child 01:00:26 Repairing Relationships with Children 01:05:34 Final Reflections and Lessons Learned 01:10:58 Don't Cut Your Own Bangs Moment

    1h 17m
  3. Tech Sweat & Relationship Spirals: Embracing the Learning Process.

    11 AUG

    Tech Sweat & Relationship Spirals: Embracing the Learning Process.

    Welcome to a solo cast episode of ‘Don't Cut Your Own Bangs'! In this episode, I dive into tackling my tech nightmares, facing limiting beliefs and how my experience connects to a client’s deeper understanding of their relationship patterns. I share relatable stories and actionable takeaways to help you navigate your own learning process: 1) The consistency of the learning process - a question or obstacle always initiates it. 2) The importance of compassionate curiosity - shifting 'Why' questions to 'How' and 'What' questions. 3) Embracing the spiral nature of progress - each iteration helps us move closer to our goals. Join me in making big feelings feel less scary and more approachable. As I say, 'The process of learning is always the same, and it often starts with discomfort.' Tune in and let's unlearn to relearn together! 00:00 Introduction and Podcast Intentions 03:36 The Learning Process: Personal Tech Challenges 14:45 Client Story: Relationship Patterns and Learning 19:13 Embracing Discomfort and Growth 21:19 Conclusion and Listener Engagement   RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE TO “DON’T CUT YOUR OWN BANGS”  Like your favorite recipe or song, the best things in life are shared. When you rate, review, and subscribe to this podcast, your engagement helps me connect  with other listeners just like you. Plus, subscriptions just make life easier for everybody. It's one less thing for you to think about and you can easily keep up to date on everything that’s new. So, please rate, review, and subscribe today.    DANIELLE IRELAND, LCSW I greatly appreciate your support and engagement as part of the Don't Cut Your Own Bangs community. Feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or anything you'd like to share. You can connect with me at any of the links below.   Connect with Danielle: Watch the show on YouTube Instagram The Treasured Journal Wrestling a Walrus Learning Process solocast [00:00:00] [00:00:08] ​ [00:00:08] Hello. Hello, this is Danielle Ireland and you are catching a solo cast of Don't Cut Your Own Bangs. And I wanted to hop on quickly because I had a killer session with a client that had some awesome takeaways that I think everybody could benefit from hearing and I've had a lesson repeatedly coming up in my life that also mirrors what my client was experiencing. [00:00:31] And I think the. The two stories together may offer something to you. So that's the hope. That's what we're gonna do. And the other thing I wanted to do was reintroduce the intention and the concept of this podcast, which is to make big feelings, feel less scary and more approachable, interpreting the information of our emotions to help guide us. [00:00:54] Into making the next right step for ourselves. Shrinking the gap between knowing what we feel and knowing what we wanna do with that feeling is where a lot of tension lives. So I wanna help shrink that gap, and then I wanna do it in a way that helps us feel light and. Maybe even have some knowing laughter in the face of our big feelings, because when we are met with truth, there's an opening and expanding clarity, and sometimes there are tears, which I think can keep people maybe stuck from looking at them because we don't wanna cry, which I get. [00:01:27] But the other thing I wish everyone could experience is the deep, profound belly laugh that happens in therapy sessions, in treatment rooms, in group therapy, in addiction groups, in. The profoundly just meaningful, vulnerable conversations between friends. The feelings we so often run from are the birthplace of a deeper, more meaningful connection and so much laughter and joy, and that's the hope here. [00:02:03] I want to have conversations like that with my guests. I want to have conversations like that with you. [00:02:08] [00:02:12] [00:03:27] ​ [00:03:30] I wanna offer a couple of stories, a couple of key takeaways, and then we're all gonna go on with our day. The process of learning, the process of learning is always the same. The process of learning is always the same, and I'm saying this multiple times for myself as much as anyone else because it seems particularly for me when it comes to technology. [00:03:55] I have a story about myself in approaching tech. My story is technology is hard and I'm not good at technology and I don't always read directions, and then I get tech sweat and I get in my head and I either want to abandon the tech altogether, I wanna abandon the project altogether. I wanna distract myself with something else more familiar and comfortable, which working from home can be chores or I'll find a way to busy myself to avoid the thing that makes me so deeply and profoundly uncomfortable. This story that I've been telling myself about tech, I have also disproven and I have plenty of evidence to the contrary many times over. [00:04:34] This isn't about unpacking the story or worrying about where the story comes from. That can be another podcast for another time. But today it is about looking at the process of learning. It is always the same. It is often uncomfortable. And I have a story about a client who has gone through in her own way, a similar iteration with my tech story, with relationships and it's different experiences, but the lesson and the through line of what it really means to learn something new about yourself and carry that information forward. [00:05:13] It's a simple process to say. It is harder to see when it's happening to you, and that is my hope in sharing it with you here today, is that you can see yourselves and my story or in an aspect of my clients, and then apply it to yourself and it won't be so hard for you when it comes up. [00:05:30] The process of learning starts with a question, a problem, or an obstacle. The question of how do I figure this thing out in my case? I have been converting my podcast to video. Very exciting. Hello, if you're watching, thanks for watching. Converting the podcast to video has added many layers of new technology and excerpt cut to me excessively sweating in a corner, thinking about how in the hill am I gonna figure this out? [00:06:00] Every podcast I have had a new challenge. I've met the challenge and I figured it out. And also every podcast I'm looking at the previous one, thinking, oh God, I could have done that. I could have done that. And this particular challenge for me earlier this week was I had recorded it in Zoom. [00:06:18] There was an issue I didn't save it in the way that I needed to save it, to make it more manageable and malleable. So I'm left with a block of video that is a very thin landscape within a landscape, which is not ideal, and had to find several workarounds to make it look correct in the format of. [00:06:42] The YouTube channel. And then of course it can't be the same like every credit card machine has its own freaking process. Had to figure out how do I then get it to convert into clips that look appropriate for social media? Because social media doesn't want it horizontal, they want it vertical. [00:07:02] I'm kind of embarrassed to admit it, but I'm pretty sure this is not an exaggeration. It took me about three hours to figure out a workaround with the raw material of the video I had and how to get it to actually fill the horizontal space for the YouTube channel correctly and then figure out how to work around, flip it and reverse it and make it work for the vertical. [00:07:25] I am just grinding my gears, trying to figure this out, but to bring it into the process of learning is the same every time. It started with, I have a problem and my problem is my video isn't filling out the view of the format correctly. [00:07:42] How do I do that? How is a great question. Not, why can't I figure this out? Why isn't this working? Why does this always happen to me? But once I'm in the process of learning, it almost always starts with a what if? What if this were possible? How could I make it possible? What do I need to do? [00:07:59] What And how are great questions to activate this process if you're stuck in a spiral? But since we're in the process of learning itself. It starts with a how? How do I figure this out? That led me to a series of Google searches and YouTube videos, and then my brain was saturated with information. Then I try to take that information and distill it into figuring it out one slow, heavy click of the keyboard at a time. Little by little, I'm actually starting to get something that looks closer to the way that I want it to look and. [00:08:33] Just side note, it still looks like amateur hour in comparison to people who have been doing this for a really long time. But I'm also super proud of myself. Both things can be true. I can be an amateur and a novice, which I am in many ways, and I can also be really proud of what I've learned so far, which has been a fuck ton. [00:08:49] I have something that's much closer to what I wanted the end product to be. And I figured out actually some really cool functions within the software that I use called D Script to try to record my video podcasts. [00:09:03] I figured out a lot of interesting workarounds and tools and functions that I would've otherwise never known existed had I not tried to solve this problem. So the process of learning is always the same, only always the same. Forever. It starts with a problem, an obstacle, a need. Then it leads to a question, a form of curiosity. [00:09:26] How would I approach this? How could I figure this out? What if I was able to do this? Is it possible for me to do this? And then I go through the process, the next step after the question is where 90% of the discomfort lives. Because you're actually muscling through something brand new that you've never done before. [00:09:47] Postulating a question that actually is almost more romantic and fun. It's brainstormy. Not that there can't be energy and output put into the question, but in the

    24 min
  4. We’ve got you: The Inspiring Journey of City Moms founder, Jeanine Bobenmoyer

    4 AUG

    We’ve got you: The Inspiring Journey of City Moms founder, Jeanine Bobenmoyer

    Join me, Danielle Ireland, on this week’s episode of Don't Cut Your Own Bangs as I chat with Jeanine Bobenmoyer, the founder of City Moms. Jeanine shares her journey from feeling isolated in a new city to building a thriving community for moms that is expanding nationwide. We dive into the power of community building, the importance of saying 'no,' and how City Moms grew from a local network to a national movement. This conversation is filled with heartfelt moments, laughter, and invaluable lessons on self-trust and service to others. Tune in to learn how Jeanine's mission evolved and how you can connect with this incredible community of supportive moms. Don't miss Jeanine's own 'Don't Cut Your Own Bangs' moment—it's a story of transformation you won't want to miss!   00:00 Introduction and Guest Overview 01:11 Jeanine's Background and City Moms Origin 02:46 Early Challenges and Community Building 04:39 Meeting Sarah and Business Growth 10:32 Drew Barrymore Show and Indianapolis Love 13:54 Content Strategy and Community Engagement 20:59 COVID Impact and National Expansion 23:05 Expanding the City Moms Community 24:17 Building a Female-Led Team 26:15 Listening to City Moms 28:50 Storytelling Over Sales 36:02 Launching a New Membership Experience 38:32 A Personal Story of Change 50:11 Conclusion and Final Thoughts   RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE TO “DON’T CUT YOUR OWN BANGS”  Like your favorite recipe or song, the best things in life are shared. When you rate, review, and subscribe to this podcast, your engagement helps me connect  with other listeners just like you. Plus, subscriptions just make life easier for everybody. It's one less thing for you to think about and you can easily keep up to date on everything that’s new. So, please rate, review, and subscribe today.    DANIELLE IRELAND, LCSW I greatly appreciate your support and engagement as part of the Don't Cut Your Own Bangs community. Feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or anything you'd like to share. You can connect with me at any of the links below.   Connect with Jeanine: Website: www.thecitymoms.org Join our membership waitlist: https://thecitymoms.org/join-waitlist  Instagram:@thecitymoms TikTok: @thecitymoms Pinterest: @thecitymoms  Connect with Danielle: Watch the show on YouTube Instagram The Treasured Journal Wrestling a Walrus Transcript [00:00:00] [00:00:08] Hello. Hello, this is Danielle Ireland and you are catching an episode of Don't Cut Your Own Bangs. [00:00:13] And today I have the opportunity to sit down with city moms founder, janine Bobmeyer. Janine is a mom of teens, a yoga addict, a Michigan native, and an avid reader. Her dream vacation includes hiking in national parks with her family and a cup of hot chai. And do we get into the tea in this episode? [00:00:34] But RT is super heartfelt, heart led, and based on community building and vulnerability. If that's the stuff that you're into, then oh, you are gonna love this conversation. Of all the things I took from this episode, what Janine embodies and what you are able to learn from as well is what it means to trust yourself, and that in the process of honoring yourself, giving a wholehearted loving no or saying yes to adventure, it is leading you to something that is not only in service of you. [00:01:09] But in service of others. Janine has founded a community city moms and started as a local community that she built based on her own need in Indianapolis. But it has grown and it is popping up in cities all over the country. We get into the early days and please stay tuned if there was ever a, don't cut your own bang moment to really not wanna miss. [00:01:31] This is a good one. It actually, it bookends the episode perfectly because we start by talking about her business and the community and company that she started, but we understand the why, the deep, profound, heartfelt, why that inspired it all. What I believe to be true that when we act in service of ourself it ultimately rises everybody up with you. [00:01:56] Everything we have leaving up to it is also just equally beautiful, sweet, funny, and endearing. [00:02:03] Thank you for being here. Thank you, Janine, for this beautiful conversation. And I can't wait for you to sit back, relax, or put in your AirPods and go for a walk however you like to listen and enjoy. ​ [00:02:18] Danielle: Janine Bobmeyer. It's such a pleasure to have you on the Don't Cut Your Own Banks podcast. You are the chief executive officer and co-founder of City Moms, and it is the largest growing lifestyle brand in the Midwest. [00:02:31] So I am just so honored to spend some time with you and share all of what you do and what you offer women and mothers in the Midwest, to the Don't Cut Your own Bangs. Listeners, thank you for being here. [00:02:43] Jeanine: Thanks for having me. I'm so excited to be here. [00:02:46] Danielle: Yeah, so fun fact on how we connected, if I'm remembering this correctly, a couple of years ago, city moms reached out to me to feature Don't cut your own bank podcast in, one of your, articles or newsletters just featuring local podcasts in Indie. [00:03:03] And that was so lovely. That was at a time where I was just starting and didn't know who was listening. It was such a, it was so validating and a real confidence boost for me. So I first wanna just say thank you. [00:03:14] Jeanine: Oh my gosh, I'm so glad I remember that article. We were. [00:03:18] Pulling, I think it was the top 10 podcasts you should be listening to in Indianapolis. Specifically founded by females. And you were one of the first that came to mind, because I know you were just launching at the time. You were like, well, hello. Of course you need to be listed on this. [00:03:32] Danielle: When you're just getting something off the ground, there is such a. There's so much space between where you are, right, where you imagine yourself to be or where you wanna be. [00:03:43] And whatever you can do to just keep getting one foot in front of the other, or even getting started takes so much energy and it's vulnerable. And so you and your best friend and business partner Sarah Hawker, are sitting on top of this really beautiful community that you have built. I think community building is just a magic skill. [00:04:06] And so I wanna go back to the early days of City Moms. You have some language on your site that I love. You need a village. We have it. Yeah, I was thinking that we don't need super women. We need supported women. Right. [00:04:20] I've also learned that what we offer others usually starts with the healing we need it. And so you're a mom of teens now? Yeah. So can you tell me a little bit about like the origin of city moms and how you went from I'm imagining having a good idea with your girlfriend to sitting where you're sitting today, being featured on the Drew Barrymore show. [00:04:39] Jeanine: Yeah, I was new to Indianapolis in 2011, so we had moved to the city from Detroit. I'm originally from Michigan, but my husband's from Indy. And in moving here to be closer to his family, I didn't know anybody. And you know, my husband wonderfully, having grown up here, has a lot of friends that are still here, but he's like, let's go out with Davis and let's have, lunch with Johnson. [00:05:02] I was like, I don't wanna do any of that, like . I'm a mom and at the time I had a 1-year-old and a 4-year-old. So you're just trying to keep, your life together in those moments of motherhood anyway. So to be in a new city, and just not know One Soul was really, I mean, just adds more challenges on top of what you're already facing. [00:05:20] Danielle: Mm-hmm. [00:05:20] Jeanine: So we had been here and just before I moved, a friend of mine in Detroit said, have you checked out Meetup? And I was like, no, what is this? And so she's telling me about Meetup and you can go on, you can kind of filter based on your interests and find a local community. And so I did and I found a couple moms groups that were in the Indianapolis area. [00:05:43] I found that, most of the majority of moms communities that we find really across the nation, even today, are tied to one of two things. It's churches [00:05:51] Danielle: or it's schools. [00:05:52] And we [00:05:52] Jeanine: didn't have either. I decided that that was the moment to potentially launch, my own community. [00:05:58] One that was just open to all moms across Indianapolis, that didn't have those specific kind of school or church affiliation, and we had a hundred members sign up on the first day. [00:06:09] Danielle: Whoa. I I have to pause for just a moment. Yeah. So you were seeking to meet your own need. Yes. And I find that so interesting that's really telling about you. [00:06:20] Just as a person and how you move through the world is you saw a gap for your own experience and then immediately connected it to what? Like, how do I expand this beyond me? Yes. As opposed to like, how do I find my community? How do I find my people? You're like, oh, there aren't people or communities, so I'm gonna build one. [00:06:40] That's really interesting. [00:06:42] Jeanine: Yeah. And for me it was because, I desperately needed community. I desperately was seeking that out. I had never been, shy to creating that myself in prior iterations. I was coming out of the advertising industry in Detroit and even in this really large advertising agency, had found my little corner of people. [00:07:04] At the time, had founded a tiny, I forget exactly what we called ourselves, but we were almost like our cheerleading community of the agency itself, where we started to put on little events for this large agency. And it started just because, we saw that at the workplace, it was just constant go, go, go. [00:07:21] In advertising. And there wasn't that pause to connect with, you know, your your desk mate or a team member.

    51 min
  5. "Magic saved my life," with John Kippen: a tumor, a trickster and TRUE healing

    28 JUL

    "Magic saved my life," with John Kippen: a tumor, a trickster and TRUE healing

    In this episode of 'Don't Cut Your Own Bangs,' host Danielle Ireland introduces John Kippen, a resilience and empowerment coach, magician, and motivational speaker. John shares his incredible journey of overcoming a life-threatening brain tumor and how it transformed his life and career.  Throughout the episode, John discusses his healing journey, the power of vulnerability, and the importance of facing one's limiting beliefs. He also reveals the origins of his unique phrase 'impossible really means I am possible' and offers a special gift to listeners. Tune in to uncover valuable wisdom nuggets and be inspired by John's story of triumph over adversity.   00:00 Introduction to the Episode 00:40 Meet John Kippen: A Multihyphenate Talent 01:23 John's Life-Altering Diagnosis 05:46 The Surgery and Its Aftermath 08:04 The Road to Recovery 13:30 Embracing the New Normal 17:29 The Power of Truth and Magic 29:14 The Power of Magic and Connection 29:31 Introducing Treasured: A Journal for Self-Discovery 30:44 The Magic of Personal Connection 32:59 Overcoming Personal Struggles Through Magic 34:38 The Journey to Self-Acceptance 35:42 The Importance of Asking and Vulnerability 50:24 The TED Talk Experience 54:34 Final Thoughts and Encouragement   RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE TO “DON’T CUT YOUR OWN BANGS”  Like your favorite recipe or song, the best things in life are shared. When you rate, review, and subscribe to this podcast, your engagement helps me connect  with other listeners just like you. Plus, subscriptions just make life easier for everybody. It's one less thing for you to think about and you can easily keep up to date on everything that’s new. So, please rate, review, and subscribe today.    DANIELLE IRELAND, LCSW I greatly appreciate your support and engagement as part of the Don't Cut Your Own Bangs community. Feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or anything you'd like to share. You can connect with me at any of the links below.   JOHN KIPPEN: https://www.ted.com/talks/john_kippen_being_different_is_my_super_power_magic_saved_my_life   https://www.johnkippen.com   DANIELLE IRELAND, LCSW Website: https://danielleireland.com/ The Treasured Journal: https://danielleireland.com/journal Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/danielleireland_lcsw TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dontcutyourownbangspod?_t=ZP-8yFHmVNPKtq&_r=1 Transcript:   John Kippen Edited Interview [00:00:00] [00:00:07] Hello. Hello, this is Danielle Ireland and you are catching an episode of Don't Cut Your Own Bangs. And today I have the great pleasure of introducing you to someone I can now call a new friend John Kippen. John is a multihyphenate. He has had quite a life and he's an excellent storyteller. So this episode you're gonna wanna buckle up. [00:00:31] It is so good. Get those AirPods in, go on your walk, get safely in your car, get ready to listen because this is just an absolutely beautiful episode. But let me tell you a little bit about John. John is a resilience and empowerment coach. He was and is the CEO of a very successful IT company. [00:00:49] He was a main stage performer at the Magic Castle in Los Angeles, so if that just gives you a little insight, is the level of his magic. He is a motivational speaker. He's a life coach, and. He has a TED talk that has received over a million views. And the heartbeat of this TED talk is how he triumphs over tragedy with a diagnosis of a tumor the size of a golf ball that is separating his brainstem and the procedure he needed to save his life, changed his life forever. [00:01:23] Doing the work of healing does not come easily to anyone, but as John so beautifully puts in this episode, if John can do it, you can do it. He's using his stories, his vulnerable and raw experiences, and talking about not only what happened to him, but how he moved through the impossible. [00:01:45] He actually coins a phrase that I love and I'm going to keep. Which is that impossible really means I am possible. So the ultimate magic trick, the ultimate illusion is what your limiting beliefs are about yourself, and how do you use facing those fears and those limiting beliefs to transform your life. [00:02:08] And in John's case, he takes that healing and offers it as a gift to us. As listeners to his clients and his coaching practice to the readers of his book, he has authored a book The Forward by None other than the Jamie Lee Curtis from all of the places. You know her most recently. The Bear where she won an Emmy, but everything everywhere, all at once. [00:02:32] She and John are buds, and she believes in him and believes in his work, and as a champion of that work, it just adds a little extra sparkle and fairy dust to the beautiful work that he's already doing to say that he's been vetted by someone who is so sparkly and magnetic and also deeply entrenched in holding space for the truth and honoring the truth. [00:02:52] This is a heartfelt episode, so what I would recommend. If you're in a place to do so is you might wanna jot some notes down because John drops some beautiful wisdom nuggets in this episode. And the book that he authored is playing The Hand You're Dealt. And what I wanna share too, we talk about it in the episode, but I wanna highlight this 'cause it's really important. [00:03:12] John is giving everyone who listens to the episode a free gift, but it is not linked in the show notes. It is only available to those of you who listen. It's a special little surprise embedded in the episode that you have to listen to find, but it is a free gift from him to you. So without further ado, get ready to sit back, relax, and enjoy the beautiful wisdom of John Kippen. [00:03:35] ​ [00:03:36] Kippen, multihyphenate resilience and empowerment, coach magician, keynote speaker, author, and all around. Nice guy. Thank you for joining me today on the Don't Cut Your Own Bangs podcast. [00:03:47] Danielle: Hollywood legend wrote the forward of his beautiful book, playing the Hand You're Dealt Forward by the one and Only Take It Away, John, Jamie [00:03:58] John: Lee Curtis. [00:03:59] Danielle: Jamie Lee Curtis. Yes. So you have to stay and listen to the entire episode because he's going to tease out a special little giveaway that will only be revealed in the audio. [00:04:10] So you gotta listen. It's not gonna be linked in the show notes, folks. So buckle up, sit down. This is gonna be a great episode with a fun gift for you, a special little dose of magic hidden inside. So, John, you, I mean, all the different fun things that we listed about what you do. You're a magician, you're a motivational speaker, you're a coach. [00:04:30] What I know doing the work I do as a therapist is the skills and trade that you're building your life on. Those were skills that they were. Hard one, like nobody chooses, in my opinion and in my experience, no one chooses to go into a helping profession that hasn't needed help in their life. It's like the, our healing becomes our medicine. [00:04:54] And I really wanna learn about not just what you offer, but your healing journey that put you in the unique position you're in to do the work you do. So, welcome and I'd love to hear from you. [00:05:05] John: So just quickly, the Reader's Digest version of my backstory. Grew up Los Angeles, middle class family, two great parents loving, no sisters or brothers, had everything I needed. [00:05:18] They sent me to a nice school and, I got into theater, started doing theater, in college. I studied theater and became the big man on campus because pretty much I grabbed every opportunity that presented itself. Started a computer company out of college. 'cause I'm a creative problem solver. [00:05:38] That's the thread that goes through everything I do in my life. [00:05:42] Mm-hmm. [00:05:42] John: I look at a problem, I say, how am I gonna solve that? [00:05:45] Mm-hmm. [00:05:46] John: And then in June of July of 2002, I was diagnosed with a four half centimeter brain tumor called an acoustic neuroma. [00:05:55] Danielle: Yes. And this was, so it was slowly severing your brainstem? Correct. [00:05:59] John: It was displacing the brainstem. Causing not only hearing issues, but dizziness upon standing or walking. [00:06:07] Mm-hmm. [00:06:08] John: I had to have something done with it. I would not have survived. [00:06:12] Mm-hmm. [00:06:14] John: And. It was a whirlwind , I went and saw the doctor who finally diagnosed it after seeing him the MRI films, and he, he had no bedside manner. [00:06:25] I remember sitting on the examining room table, right. And the, the tissue paper is crinkling under my butt. Mm-hmm. I could feel the, I could sense the temperature. I'm heightened sensitivity. [00:06:37] And he looks up at the MRI after talking to a neurosurgeon, and he turns around and says, John, you have a four and a half centimeter brain tumor. [00:06:46] It's killing you. We're operating you on Friday. You're gonna go deaf in your left ear, and there's a possibility for some facial weakness. We're gonna do everything we can to prevent that. And he left [00:07:01] Danielle: the room. So he knew, and in his own. Brash in abrupt way, essentially prepared you for the outcome and challenges that would come assuming the surgery was a success? [00:07:17] John: Yeah. He is a world renowned acoustic neuroma surgeon. He's one of the guys you go to, when you have this kind of tumor and that's all he does. Wow. But he literally left the room and I'm sitting there and I didn't bring anybody in and [00:07:31] yeah. [00:07:32] John: A tip to anyone who's potentially going in for a serious diagnosis. [00:07:36] Yeah. [00:07:37] John: Bring a friend or a family member. [00:07:39] Because it goes in one ear and out the other, you're in shock. Right. Right. When you get home and you say, wait a minute, he said that surgery gonna be four hours or 14 hours or

    58 min
  6. What is your frustration telling you? A solocast.

    21 JUL

    What is your frustration telling you? A solocast.

    In this solo episode of 'Don't Cut Your Own Bangs,' Danielle Ireland dives deep into the often overwhelming world of frustration. With recent personal anecdotes, Danielle tells you how to interpret and process frustration to improve relationships with others, and yourself - through self-reflection, journaling, and open conversations. Learn how to turn frustration into a guiding force for personal growth. Jump into the episode with Danielle for insightful, real-time processing and discover how to handle life's inevitable hiccups! 00:00 Introduction and Purpose of the Episode 00:32 Understanding and Processing Frustration 01:09 Personal Examples of Frustration 04:05 Methods to Address Frustration 10:19 Journaling and Self-Reflection 11:29 Recent Frustrating Experience 15:39 Final Thoughts and Conclusion RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE TO “DON’T CUT YOUR OWN BANGS”  Like your favorite recipe or song, the best things in life are shared. When you rate, review, and subscribe to this podcast, your engagement helps me connect  with other listeners just like you. Plus, subscriptions just make life easier for everybody. It's one less thing for you to think about and you can easily keep up to date on everything that’s new. So, please rate, review, and subscribe today.    DANIELLE IRELAND, LCSW I greatly appreciate your support and engagement as part of the Don't Cut Your Own Bangs community. Feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or anything you'd like to share. You can connect with me at any of the links below.   Connect with Danielle: Watch the show on YouTube Instagram The Treasured Journal Wrestling a Walrus Transcription [00:00:01] ​ hello? Hello. This is Danielle Ireland and you are catching an episode of Don't Cut Your Own Bangs. A solo cast, a little snack cast. Man, I just had a frustrating situation happen and frustration happens if you are alive on this earth and interacting with other people, places, and or things. So nouns, if you're interacting with this world, you are going to feel this emotion. [00:00:23] You're gonna have this experience of frustration. And so I thought, let me hop on, let me channel this energy into something productive. 'cause it always makes me feel better about it. And we're gonna process in real time so let's talk about frustration. Let's talk about what frustration is telling you, what you can do about it, how you can process or explore it through a conversation or a journal. Using emotions and interpreting them like information , because they are, our emotions are our internal compass, our internal guidance system, and the way we emotionally respond to life is information that is, it's like a roadmap guiding us through the next right step. [00:01:04] So together we're gonna talk about what frustration is. What you can do about it, what it could be telling you. I'll share a little bit about what my frustration was recently. And I have another example too that's a little less fresh. But I think we can get conceptual, but then we also need to see it in context to really understand it. Frustration is always telling you something. It is always telling you something. It's never standing alone. You're never just frustrated. There is always, I am frustrated because I'm frustrated and feeling blank. It's always informing something every single time. [00:01:40] Oftentimes, especially if we're talking about relationships frustration is generally connected with either the other person, this other person didn't meet a need that they did or didn't know you had? [00:01:53] And that's fricking frustrating. [00:01:54] But either way, the frustration still stands. So it can either be informing something about a relationship. Someone canceling plans, someone changing plans last minute, someone no showing, someone ghosting you and not talking to you, or, somebody maybe. [00:02:08] Making jokes that you don't find particularly funny. Using sarcasm as a way to avoid having a real conversation. These are the examples that are fresher in my mind, but you can expand upon it in your own. Then there's also within frustration, there's the external interpretation, and then there's also an internal one, which is I am not doing something. [00:02:31] Necessary for me. I'm not speaking a truth out loud that needs to be said. I am not, either making time or space for myself in a way that's good for me. Sometimes frustration can come from. The emotion for me, for example, I was just talking to my husband the other day about the last family trip we took, I experienced a lot of frustration on that trip and what I know now more than I did. [00:02:57] Then again, frustration right before growth, right before expansion, right before clarity. Even though logically and cognitively, I knew that this is a family trip, not a vacation. You may or may not get downtime for yourself, but you do have help and resources. [00:03:14] So take the time where you can, your kids are gonna be okay. Everyone is gonna have their own experience. It's not your job to make sure everybody's happy, fulfilled, and it's not your job to make sure that nobody feels any discomfort. About every 15 minutes I was up checking on the kids. [00:03:29] I felt like I was the. Ticker time monitor of, okay, it's 30 minutes before snack. It's, 45 minutes before nap. And so my mind could never turn off and I never felt rested. I didn't believe that there was a way that I could make time or space for myself. And I'll be honest I didn't go into the trip thinking to myself that, it is your job to make sure everyone is happy, comfortable, and settled. [00:03:56] But what I felt on the trip was this frustration, irritation. I was irritated at everyone. I was exhausted. I felt trapped. So I used the method that I'm gonna talk about here to try to. Get a better look at what my frustration was informing, which has really empowered me for , weekends with the family or it, it's made the, I have had much better experiences since this particularly frustrating family trip because of what I now know through processing the frustration. [00:04:28] I wanna share this one with you. So I'm feeling frustrated about. Blank. Not getting time for myself, not being able to feel like I can step away, feeling like I have to be responsible all the time. I feel trapped. So the first thing is I'm frustrated about, and then you specify the element that is frustrating. [00:04:47] Then identify the emotion. I feel trapped. So when I sit with that and I get curious about the emotion of feeling trapped, well, where is that coming from? So this is another statement that I wanna offer you, that saying this aloud when the frustration as you're funneling through the process of understanding your frustration and what it could be informing for you. [00:05:12] The thing that I like to say to myself in a journal or out loud is some version of this, make it your own, knowing that I can never change other people and that I am the one who is responsible for me, I can. I want, I need, I will, and I use those sentence stems, but in some version of this process, after letting myself name the frustration exactly in the way I feel it. [00:05:40] I'm frustrated at so and so for never seeming to pick up the pace when, , knowing what needs to happen with the kids' schedule. I'll be as specific as I need to be. I'll vent, complain. Say it exactly how I feel it, and then ask another layer, right? So there's, that's the bob, and then the lure, I feel trapped because if I really look at the truth of that, I'm, I'm not trapped. [00:06:06] I'm at a family trip at a resort, in many cases if I really sit with that and open and access curiosity. There were many times where people were asking me, what do you need? Do you wanna go do blank? Do you wanna go do blank? And I was so caught up in my own narrative at the time that I felt trapped and I felt like I couldn't say yes. [00:06:29] And so who, who's responsible for that? Me. I can hold the discomfort of accepting help I want. To have 30 minutes to read a book uninterrupted. I want to go for a walk by myself on the beach. I need to exercise the practice of identifying my needs before jumping in and rescuing. And I'm using, I'm using air quotes here when I say rescuing, rescuing everybody from feeling any discomfort, because that's not my job and I will. [00:07:07] Be a better steward for myself in these moments. And then, then I could even if I wanted to take that context into a conversation with somebody and. Brainstorm. Okay, what could that look like in reality? So what would be a little commitment? Every morning I'm gonna give myself this 15 minute block, this 20 minute block. [00:07:32] I will commit to letting that be inconvenient for someone. The point is that your frustration is valid. Your frustration is real, it is being experienced by you. Therefore, the resolve, the action, the places you go, the conversations you have, or just the new informed way that you have of moving forward with that, it's uniquely yours. [00:08:01] That doesn't mean don't talk about it, don't share it with others, but it means that your frustration is yours and you are the steward. Of your wellbeing. So taking that responsibility lovingly and kindly can really help what not only make you feel more free to move through the world in a way that actually serves you. [00:08:22] It also makes you, I think, a safer partner, a safer friend, a safer ally coworker to other people because the more you know that you can identify your own needs. The easier it is to communicate them and honor them, even if I am the only one feeling frustrated by feeling trapped, going back to my example, the other people on the trip, even though they didn't know how I was feeling, maybe they didn't even know I was frustrated, I'm sure they could tell I wasn't operating at my best. [00:08:53] I might have been more clipped, more short, more, , t

    20 min
  7. Unlock the Power of Self-Validation. A solocast.

    14 JUL

    Unlock the Power of Self-Validation. A solocast.

    Unlock the Power of Self-Validation    Inspired by a recent therapy session, in this solo episode of 'Don't Cut Your Own Bangs,' Danielle Ireland explores the practice of self-validation. She shares insights on how to validate your own experiences, calm your nervous system, and push back against self-doubt. The episode includes practical examples, journaling tips, and real-life applications, making it a valuable resource for anyone looking to strengthen their self-awareness and emotional well-being.   RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE TO “DON’T CUT YOUR OWN BANGS”  Like your favorite recipe or song, the best things in life are shared. When you rate, review, and subscribe to this podcast, your engagement helps me connect  with other listeners just like you. Plus, subscriptions just make life easier for everybody. It's one less thing for you to think about and you can easily keep up to date on everything that’s new. So, please rate, review, and subscribe today.  DANIELLE IRELAND, LCSW I greatly appreciate your support and engagement as part of the Don't Cut Your Own Bangs community. Feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or anything you'd like to share. You can connect with me at any of the links below. Connect with Danielle: Watch the show on YouTube Instagram The Treasured Journal Wrestling a Walrus   00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview 00:12 Understanding Self-Validation 01:00 Practical Examples of Validation 02:12 Benefits of Validation 03:11 Self-Validation Techniques 05:39 Journaling for Self-Discovery 06:49 Client Story and Real-Life Application 07:57 Navigating Uncertainty with Self-Validation 10:22 The Power of Truth in Self-Validation 15:41 Children's Book and Emotional Education 16:56 Conclusion and Listener Engagement   Self Validation Solocast [00:00:00] Danielle: Hello. Hello. This is Danielle Ireland and you are listening to Don't Cut Your Own Bangs. And today I'm coming at you [00:00:07] Hello. Hello, this is Danielle Ireland and you are listening to Don't Cut Your Own Bangs. And today I'm coming at you with a tasty little treat, a little snack of a solo cast, we're gonna talk about validating the self, how this is a practice that you can do on your own, in your mind, in a journal. You can take this anywhere with you, and it is a fabulous tool to regulate the nervous system. [00:00:32] To calm down the chatter of self-doubt, those that overwhelming spiraling self-talk that we can get lost in. And I'm gonna talk about what validation is and what it's not, and how you can actually practice this in your own life. It came out of a really powerful therapy session that I gave this week, and almost as soon as I signed off of that call, my first thought was, oh dang, I need to share this. [00:00:56] So here we are validating the self. Simply put it is naming your experience. If we were thinking about it in terms of relationships, if it was me communicating with somebody else, validation is that I can hold space. I can see the reality and the truth of your experience, and I can honor that as true for you. [00:01:22] So for example, if. With my four, my 4-year-old daughter, for example, I can see for her experience, you really want a Popsicle. You really want a Popsicle right now, and I'm telling you it's time to go down for a nap. You're really upset that I told you you're not gonna get a Popsicle, and I can see how hard that is for you. [00:01:43] I'm validating that you are having an emotional experience that is different from me. In this moment, even though we're having, we're in the same room, right? We're breathing the same air, but you're having a very different experience than me, and I can see that is true and that is real for you. That is just a silly, small example. [00:02:05] Although it's based on very real, very real experiences. But that is how we can offer validation for somebody else. The benefit of doing that for someone else is it lets them know that they're not crazy. It's not just in their head. It's all of the invalidating language that I'm sure we are all very familiar with. [00:02:26] Like you're being dramatic. You're being over the top. Calm down. It's not that big a deal. You just need to get over it. You're not being logical, too emotional. Those are all ways that we can be invalidated, that we have been invalidated, and that we can invalidate somebody else. So to repeat what validation is, is I can see the truth of your experiences based on the circumstances that are before you. [00:02:55] You, there's something you really want. There's something that you didn't get your experiences, you're disappointed and upset. You're telling me you don't wanna go to bed, and I can see that is true for you, and I can hold space for myself for having a different experience. So now we're talking about validating the self, and I'll talk about how you can also do that outside of an interaction with somebody. [00:03:18] In my experience, my daughter's upset. She's screaming about a Popsicle. She's telling me she doesn't wanna go down for a nap. She's telling me she's not tired. And then here's my experience. Here's what I know. What I know is it's 1230 I. You normally go down for a nap at 12, you're already getting tired. [00:03:36] I've seen you rubbing your eyes. I've been down this road with you many times before. I know it's hard for you to stop having fun when you wanna keep having fun, and I also know I'll pay for it later. If I don't get you down for a nap. There's likely gonna be a meltdown later. So my experience is I'm witnessing the emotional eruption and upheaval. [00:04:00] Of having to tell you, no, you can't have a Popsicle, and yes, you are going down for a nap. That's stressful for me. This isn't what I want either. What I want is to just give you what you want so that I can go chill and read my book [00:04:14] I don't wanna deal with a tantrum. This is hard for me to, I know that it's the right thing to do, so I'm going to do it anyway. And I also know that you are for. And your brain is only developed four years, and your job is to want what you want. And my job is to do the best I can to take care of your beautiful brain and body. [00:04:35] So I can honor that. That is my experience, and I'm not making her responsible for my experience because she's entitled to have her own. And it's very different than mine, even though we're breathing the same air, we're in the same space. I can regulate myself and I can regulate my own nervous system. [00:04:53] By honoring, you're doing what you know is right, you're doing the best you can in this moment. You're frustrated too. You're disappointed too. You don't like dealing with this either. You wish this were easier, all of those things that are true. And each time I allow myself to acknowledge the truth of my experience to myself, even if it's just in my own mind. [00:05:19] I can feel what I actually physiologically experience, I physically experience like tingles in my legs. That must be a way that my nervous system is letting me know that it's calming down, but I breathe and I'm speaking the truth for myself to myself. That always puts me in a clearer frame of mind. [00:05:39] If you've ever wanted to start a journaling practice but didn't know where to start, or if you've been journaling off and on your whole life, but you're like, I wanna take this work deeper, I've got you covered. I've written a journal called Treasured, a Journal for unearthing you. It's broken down into seven key areas of your life, filled with stories, sentence stems, prompts, questions, and exercises. [00:05:58] All rooted in the work that I do with actual clients in my therapy sessions. I have given these examples to clients in sessions as homework, and they come back with insights that allow us to do such incredible work. This is something you can do in the privacy of your own home, whether you're in therapy or not. [00:06:17] It has context, it has guides. And hopefully some safety bumpers to help digging a little deeper feel possible, accessible and safe. You don't have to do this alone. And there's also a guided treasured meditation series that accompanies each section in the journal to help ease you into the processing state. [00:06:36] My hope is to help guide you into feeling more secure with the most important relationship in your life, the one between you and you. Hop on over to the show notes and grab your copy today. And now back to the episode. [00:06:49] Danielle: so in this session with a client where this concept came out, this was one of those moments where. My client, had just made a really, really hard decision about her life and her family, and she was in that really tender early stage of making a new decision where there's a fork in the road and you're starting down this new path based on the new choice that you've just made. [00:07:18] You're not so far down the road. It's like you're almost walking parallel paths before they really start to split off into a v and I'm making these new steps forward, but it's hard and it's scary and it's new. [00:07:33] This is definitely unknown. And then I can still see the well worn path next to me that I. Could have been on if I had just stayed the same. And it's in that space where validating the self can be. If you find yourself in a similar couple steps past a fork in the road moment, this too may be really impactful for you. [00:07:57] And it's not about knowing. The outcome of your choice, because that is impossible. It's so easy to just try to get our hooks into something that feels safe and sturdy and stable. But all you know, I'm here. I've made this decision. This is hard. This is scary, this is new. [00:08:22] And even though you're not making a false promise to yourself, and you may actually be admitting something that's hard, like this is really challenging, I feel really uncertain.

    18 min
  8. Exploring the Wild With Eli Martinez: Diving With Sharks & Embracing the Call of Adventure

    7 JUL

    Exploring the Wild With Eli Martinez: Diving With Sharks & Embracing the Call of Adventure

    In this episode of 'Don't Cut Your Own Bangs,' Danielle Ireland interviews adventurer and SDM Diving owner Eli Martinez. They discuss his unique career leading land and ocean safaris, dispelling myths about predators, and the connection between exploring the wild and self-discovery. Eli shares his journey from aspiring bull rider to renowned wildlife guide and photographer, emphasizing the therapeutic and transformative power of nature. Together, they explore how experiencing the wild fosters understanding, empathy, and personal growth. RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE TO “DON’T CUT YOUR OWN BANGS”  Like your favorite recipe or song, the best things in life are shared. When you rate, review, and subscribe to this podcast, your engagement helps me connect  with other listeners just like you. Plus, subscriptions just make life easier for everybody. It's one less thing for you to think about and you can easily keep up to date on everything that’s new. So, please rate, review, and subscribe today. DANIELLE IRELAND, LCSW I greatly appreciate your support and engagement as part of the Don't Cut Your Own Bangs community. Feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or anything you'd like to share. You can connect with me at any of the links below. Connect with Eli: Book an adventure HERE - https://sdmdiving.com/ Instagram Connect with Danielle: Watch the show on YouTube Instagram The Treasured Journal Wrestling a Walrus 00:00 Introduction to the Podcast and Guest 00:13 Eli Martinez: The Adventurer's Journey 01:21 Connecting with Nature and Overcoming Fear 02:18 Building a Dream Career 05:59 Diving into the World of Sharks 12:16 The Power of Social Media and Storytelling 17:59 The Importance of Conservation and Ecotourism 21:40 Personal Growth Through Wildlife Experiences 28:40 Connecting with Nature and Self 29:07 The Lion Tracker's Guide to Life 29:38 Struggles with Anxiety and Self-Doubt 31:04 Emotional Awareness and Growth 32:00 Transformative Experiences in the Wild 35:03 Launching Shark Diver Magazine 35:55 Shifting from Magazine to Excursions 40:49 Dispelling the Predator Myth 48:28 Curiosity and Career Pivots 53:30 Conclusion and Final Thoughts Transcript Eli Martinez Podcast Interview [00:00:00] Danielle: Hello. Hello. This is Danielle Ireland and you are listening to Don't Cut Your Own Banks and Today's Guest. this has been a long time coming for me. I am so excited beyond excited to introduce Eli Martinez. Eli is an adventurer. [00:00:14] He's an explorer, he's an operator and owner of SDM Adventures. It's a group that leads land and ocean safaris. If you have ever seen these wild otherworldly images of people swimming with humpback whales, swimming with orca whales, swimming with crocodiles, swimming with anacondas. There's a good chance that you've stumbled across his images because he is one of the few, right? [00:00:42] It's a pretty small pool of people who make a living doing what he does, Images, they grab your attention, they hook your imagination. But it being on a screen, it's easy to think, well, that's so far removed from my life. what value is there in that for me? Like that's a cool image. But the internet has lots of cool images. [00:01:00] There's a couple of important distinctions and what I think makes this episode so special. What we talk about is dispelling the predator myth and my work as a therapist and his work as a safari guide. They don't seem too related, but there was one common thread that came out of this episode that it's gonna stick with me for a long time. [00:01:21] He's guiding people into the natural world to feel connected to the natural world in a deep and profound way. And when anybody sits with their emotional space. With their feelings. Feelings of discomfort, fear, terror, trauma. That's really hard to do and hard to hold. But when you do and access curiosity, you begin to tap into your true nature. [00:01:49] Your intuition, and so Eli might be talking about sharks and the deep ocean, and I might be talking about feelings, but there is a common thread in language here that makes this episode already one of my favorites. I can't wait for you to hear his story because not only is the work itself that we spent a lot of time talking about, fascinating. [00:02:10] He leads people on wildlife safaris in the ocean, on land. I mean, it's just. What a cool, amazing job. But he built that job. There wasn't an application for him to fill out. He built this from the ground up and there were stumbling blocks, missteps and pivots along the way, and he shares those with us. [00:02:30] So not only can we learn about how could I build a dream that I didn't know was possible, you also have the benefit of. Really getting a sense of what is it like, what is the value, what is the purpose? And I would argue where is the healing in connecting with the natural world, whether that's through a hike or through looking out your window. [00:02:53] And as he states a couple of times, just watch a sunset. Really watch a sunset. So I'm gonna save that. I'm gonna leave that for you there. Thank you for being here. You're gonna love this episode. Welcome, Eli Martinez. [00:03:08] [00:04:18] Danielle: Eli Martinez, thank you so much for being here with Don't cut your own bangs. [00:04:23] This is not the first time we've met, but this is the first time we've done a podcast together and I am like the little kid in me who wanted to be a marine biologist when she first knew what dolphins were. [00:04:34] This feels like just she feels so greedy with excitement to talk to someone who has made a living, being an adventure traveler and swimming with animals and interacting with animals all over the world. So I'm very excited to talk to you. [00:04:47] Eli: Actually, I was a little self-conscious about it because of, because of your background in psychology. [00:04:52] I'm like, okay, all right. where do I start? [00:04:55] Danielle: You know what? Yes. your family actually told me to schedule this podcast interview so that we could really get into what makes Eli tick. No, no, no, no, no., This is a celebration what I'm curious about personally, not just professionally working as a therapist, but I love understanding what leads people down, whatever path they end on. [00:05:16] And probably a lot of that is because I mistakenly thought during my twenties that you went through the school system. You graduate with a degree, you start working in that career, and you follow all of the steps to be a good. Citizen and that was not my path, and it was a lot more twisty and turny and there were a lot of pivots and I can see that now as of value. [00:05:43] But, in those moments where I thought I knew what I was going to be doing and life took me in a different direction, it. Knocked me down pretty hard I think there were a lot of moments where I felt like I was failing or wasn't doing it right, using air quotes of whatever it is. [00:05:59] And so someone like you who, are a storyteller, explorer, wildlife photographer, and have spent your life chasing the wild. you lead ocean and land wildlife, safaris. I love that distinction. Ocean and land, wildlife safaris. [00:06:15] There is not, you can't go to high school and then college and then just start doing what you're doing. There's no Reddit, there's no LinkedIn interview that you can fulfill to make that a career. You had to chisel that together. And so I really wanna understand that more. how you built this dream. [00:06:36] What seems from afar, like a dream life? And I'm sure it is many days, but I wanna know how you did it. [00:06:43] Eli: animals have always been like my first love, as a child, I can remember my first toys were animals. my dream as a child was to become a wildlife veterinarian. that was the only way I knew that I could actually physically be around animals that, 'cause I had no idea about wildlife guiding or photography or storytelling [00:07:05] So veterinarian was the only way I could get close to a zebra or a giraffe. And I said, that's what I want to do. So as a child, that was like that one dream that I had. And of course, life gets in the way and I went to a completely different route. I actually went to school to be a motorcycle mechanic. [00:07:23] So what? [00:07:24] Danielle: Yeah. [00:07:24] Eli: That's [00:07:25] Danielle: definitely a different route. [00:07:26] Eli: Yeah. No, it was, I fell in love with race bikes and I wanted to travel the world. look, me being a mechanic for race teams, that was my thing. I love motorcycles, but I like wrenching them. I like working on them more than I like writing them for, it's just my DNA, just how I like to be. [00:07:43] Fast forward a bunch of years, I fell in love with shark diving. I went scuba diving and on my very first. Dive. I saw a shark and it terrified me. It excited me. filled me with everything that I enjoyed about wildlife to begin with. [00:08:00] And it was coming out of the water that I realized I knew absolutely nothing about sharks. Everything I thought I knew was wrong. [00:08:09] Mm-hmm. , [00:08:10] So I, came outta the water that day and I was just completely fascinated, really obsessed with learning more about sharks. So I, I bought every book I could find. [00:08:20] I read as much as I could about them, and I just was like, I gotta get in the water with them some more. And it was on my very first, travel. I went to The Bahamas and it was on that experience is. What got me on this path that I'm on today was just like, I want to dive with sharks. I want to travel to exotic places. [00:08:41] I want to meet amazing people, [00:08:43] Danielle: How do you wait? Do okay? I, okay, so we're gonna get to the how. So you fell in love, and now it's the how, but I wanna go back. Do you remember the first shark, like in your, can you access that memory and do you know the shark? [00:08:55] I can. What

    55 min
See All (74)

Trailer

About

The space between where you are now and where you want to be can feel daunting and lonely. This podcast is the remedy to comparison and feeling like everyone else has it figured out but you. Each episode contains personal insights from her work as a therapist and taking a deeper look at the messy middle between before and after stories. Danielle wants to help you make big feelings feel less scary, easier to understand and approaching them possible. And, wherever possible - to laugh as much as possible.

Information

  • Creator
    Danielle Ireland
  • Years Active
    2018 - 2025
  • Episodes
    74
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2025
  • Show Website
    Don't Cut Your Own Bangs

You Might Also Like