Finding Your Best Self Episode 8

In Episode 8 Tracey talks about her initial attempts at coparenting with Gary and how things didn't really go as planned at all.

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Show Notes: 

Co-Parenting

I was recently interviewed on a podcast about loss and grief Check it out here!.  During the interview, the lovely podcast host asked me if it helped to write about what happened to me all of those years ago when I went through the terrible loss of my marriage and the way of life that I thought would always be mine.  And the truth is, it really does help, but all of that stuff that I have talked about, all the stuff that has happened between Gary and I is really so long ago that I am over it.  Sure I get riled up telling the stories, and it churns me up a bit when I have a friend or one of my besties from my Facebook group contacts me and are going through the same thing, but overall, I have come out the other side.  I’m good.  Really.

There is one exception to that rule though.  The part that isn’t behind me yet is the part that pertains to my kids.  Although my marriage was dissolved in a courtroom after two and a half years of battle almost six years ago now, I am still the mother of these two amazing people, and he is still their father.  And co-parenting with Gary, well it has never been easy.  I have been putting off talking about this, because it is still really real, and really raw.  And while talking about everything else is easy, it’s old news, talking about my kids and what they are currently going through is fresh, and it’s painful.  I can be somewhat impartial with the rest, but with this stuff, this is not something I feel magnanimous about…I will do the best that I can.

Custody situations can vary.  I was lucky enough to be awarded sole physical custody of my kids and only joint legal custody.  Legal custody relates to decisions surrounding healthcare, religion, and schooling.  So a few years ago when my son was being brutally bullied in school and I wanted to pull him out and let him do school online, I was vetoed and there was nothing that I could really do about that.  But the sole custody part was a huge bonus for me.  And a real life saver, which I will explain here in a moment.

But first let’s go back to 2009.  The very first weekend after we moved over the river and through the woods to the poopy brown house, the kids had their first “visitation” weekend with Dad.  I was kind of a wreck and couldn’t wait to get them back.  And before I even went to pick them up I got a call from my then best friend, who lived across the street and had spent some time with my daughter when she had come over to play that day.  She warned me that I was going to hear some news from the kids that I wasn’t going to like.  While the two little girls were chatting and playing, my daugh