Happy Polydays Poly Philia

Marjani Lane (@marjanilane) is one of the most well-known Black polyamorous educators and is a hugely important voice in the community when it comes to pro-Black polyamorous activism. To round off this season, we discuss Marjani’s life as a queer, disabled polyamorist, as well as several controversial, hard-hitting issues in the Black polyamorous and polygamous communities:

- why Marjani believes that people can be polyamorous cheaters, and that solo polyamory is a life philosophy rather than a specific lifestyle

- how Marjani’s physical disabilities and diagnoses of ASPD and OCPD affect how they practice polyamory

- The distinction between fluid bonding and fluid exchange, and how some Black polyamorists do not feel that mainstream polyamory terms were made for them or with them in mind

- How the Black community’s idea of polygyny and the goal of “building an empire” to “save” the Black community ultimately tie back to white supremacy, misogynoir and a struggle with identity and acceptance

- Queerphobia and ableism in the polyamorous community, and how the idea of “usefulness” serves a pro-capitalist, pro-natalist agenda that comes at the expense of the marginalised

and much more.

EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

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Leanne (@polyphiliablog): Instagram | Facebook | Tiktok | Twitter | Youtube | Patreon | Website | Shop

Marjani (@marjanilane): Instagram | Clubhouse | Tiktok | Facebook | Website

CW: emotional abuse, eating disorders

In this harrowing, vulnerable episode, Morgan of @chillpolyamory shares her experiences in a cult from the age of 15-21, how she left and unpacked all the internalised shame and guilt around her sexuality, and went on to embrace an open, polyamorous life. We discuss:

 - the parallels between high-control groups and certain oppressive religions, and the harm that causes to one's psyche

 - how content creation has enabled Morgan to deal with her trigger around public humiliation head-on

 - how kink has been a healing way for Morgan to safely and temporarily give up control (and why a 24/7 dynamic is not for her!)

 - a surprisingly positive parallel between cults and the polyamorous community?

and much more.

EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

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Leanne (@polyphiliablog): Instagram | Facebook | Tiktok | Twitter | Youtube | Patreon | Website | Shop

Morgan (@chillpolyamory): Instagram | Patreon | Website

Abuse happens in all kinds of relationships, and non-monogamous people are no different. Claire from @polypages and I discuss:

- The Duluth Model of the power and control wheel as applied to abusive polyamorous dynamics

- Whether the book More Than Two by Eve Rickert and Franklin Veaux should still be recommended as a polyamory introductory text

- Why toxic positivity culture is harmful and does a disservice to the polyamorous community

- Why non-monogamous people are more susceptible to abusive dynamics due to the lack of societal support available and toxic behaviours being brushed under the carpet as "jealousy issues to work through"

- How Claire arrived at solo polyamory as the best fit for her life

and much more.

EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

FOLLOW US:

Leanne (@polyphiliablog): Instagram | Facebook | Tiktok | Twitter | Youtube | Patreon | Website | Shop

Claire (@polypages): Instagram | Tiktok | Twitter | Website | Polyamory Day Event

Michelle Hy's polyamory advocacy work (@polyamorouswhileasian) on the political intersection between relationships and race, sex positivity, and body neutrality is well known to many. In this episode we discuss:

- Michelle's very sudden introduction to polyamory at 18 years old

- Misconceptions in mainstream polyamorous narratives

- Handling boundaries and expectations with Asian parents

- Why my mother is less accepting of my bisexuality than my cousin's lesbianism

- Handling fetishisation of Asianness in dating, and where we draw the line between attraction and exoticisation

and much more.

EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

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Leanne (@polyphiliablog): Instagram | Facebook | Tiktok | Twitter | Youtube | Patreon | Website | Shop

Michelle (@polyamorouswhileasian): Instagram | Website

What do purity culture and mononormativity have in common? I speak with @puritytopolyamory as she shares her fascinating story of moving from the oppressive Evangelical Christian religion to solo polyamory. We discuss:

- How purity culture is rape culture, and why it is particularly damaging to people socialised as women

- Why the many changes that occur in the opening up process lead to so many previously monogamous relationships failing at no fault of their own

- How Christianity and polyamory can be reconciled, but not purity culture and polyamory

- Why both of us no longer identify as demisexual

and much more.



FOLLOW US:

Leanne (@polyphiliablog): Instagram | Facebook | Tiktok | Twitter | Youtube | Patreon | Website | Shop

PTP (@puritytopolyamory): Instagram | Twitter | Podcast

How is polyamory influencing current and future generations under late-stage capitalism? Join myself and Nayeli (@antimononormative), who are both Gen Z, and younger millennial Sky (@femmmeow) as we talk about how modern monogamy is influenced by the commodification of intimacy under capitalism, colonialism and heteropatriarchical forces. We discuss:

- Sky's upbringing in the Scientology cult and how her embracing her queerness led her to question monogamy and relationships

- Nayeli's radical abolitionist stances on basically everything, and her coining and explaining the terms "late-stage mononormativity" and "mononormativity reformist"

- How the rise of non-monogamy was directly caused by the COVID-19 pandemic, and was not a coincidence!

- How we are all absolute stans of Esther Perel and her work

and much more.

EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

FOLLOW US:

Leanne (@polyphiliablog): Instagram | Facebook | Tiktok | Twitter | Youtube | Patreon | Website | Shop

Nayeli (@antimononormative): Instagram | Tiktok | Twitter

Skylar (@femmmeow): Instagram | Twitter | Tiktok | Website