Kendall‪.‬ Kendall Johnson

  In this ep, I share an emotional voice message from when I knew I had to leave pro soccer and focus on my healing. I honestly didn’t realize how much I was hating soccer at the time, until my concerning brain scan forced me to step away.   
I packed up from Utah, and as soon as I landed in Portland, I embarked on a camping road trip with my friends Paige and Keelin (who have both been on the pod, ep. 38 and ep.58) to Lake Tahoe. I was asked to be a crew member for Paige who was running in the Western States, one of the most highly coveted 100-mile races in the world (that only psycho people ((I love psycho people)) choose to be a part of). 
I share another voice message (that at the time, I saved in my phone as "pep talk be you do you f**k others") I recorded from the trip that starts with me feeling really unsettled in my body, questioning WTF I am doing with my life. And then, by the end of it, I’m delivering an animated pep talk to myself about how fucking weird I am, but that’s okay, and suppressing our weird is what causes our pain. It makes me LOL and I hope it makes you LOL too. Or get hyped. Or both.
Enjoy! 
More musings and mentoring here: http://kendallperiod.com

Today’s plog is a journeyyyy. I start off sitting in a chair, looking up in the stars, sharing where I’m at in life and what exactly is a “plog.” I  then tell the story of when I was playing pro soccer, dealing with severe concussion symptoms, and participated in an intensive stay at a concussion clinic. At the end of the clinic, I meet with the doctor who revealed to me some results on my brain scan that completely changed my life as I knew it. I inserted the actual conversation w/ this doc, as well as other raw audio messages.  Heads up, I cry. This is saying a lot, considering that I was a clogged sink when it came to emotions at the time.
I then go back to the stars and share a bit more about the unconventional healing route I’ve gone on to step further into my fullest expression and to heal my physical concussion symptoms.
My website: www.arrowliving.com

In today’s episode I interview brave human being and pro soccer player Sydney Miramontez. 
Sydney and I met playing for the Utah Royals together. Before a few weeks ago we had no idea that, at the time, we were both secretly struggling with our own eating disorders. 
In our conversation, Sydney opens up about her unhealthy relationship to food and exercise. She shares how it all started and tools that helped her to work through it.
I personally am most fascinated by the role that birth control played in her journey and how it wreaked havoc on her body. 
She dives into how her own research and intuition led her to discover the pill’s negative side effects and how much it just straight up sucks for women’s hormones. 
If you stick to the end, I was a sneaky lil beezy and continued recording our convo after our interview ended, and it gets juicyyyyy. We talk about the power of periods, how they are deeply misunderstood and could literally be utilized to teams' advantages. Sydney also shares about what it was like sharing her story publicly for the first time. 
 I’m so thankful for Syd’s vulnerability.  I know there are so many female athletes who are struggling with their relationship to food, exercise, and their body, it’s simply just not talked about.  If this is you, you are not alone! 
Follow Sydney on instagram 
Follow Arrow Living on instagram
ArrowLiving.com

I hated my body, but now I love it and it weirds me out
 
 
Today’s episode is a follow-up of my last one on how I healed my “disordered eating.” In particular, I dive deep into my tumultuous relationship to my body.
 
From bed-ridden concussion symptoms, to digestive issues, disordered eating, to hating what stared back at me in the mirror… my relationship to my body has been through the ringer. For so long, I viewed my body as the thing that was holding me back from doing the things I wanted to do in my life. I felt like a caged animal. A hermit crab, superglued to its shell, sporadically tortured by random emotional and physical sensations, with no place to escape. 
 
When I started learning about the nervous system, everything changed. 
 
In this episode I talk about:
-why over-achieving affected my confidence in my body 
-the misconception that being positive about your body is healing
-going from hating my body to being at peace with it
-how I’m losing weight working out less and eating more
 
And more. 
 
Enjoy :) 

In today's episode, I go in depth about how about how I healed my "eating disorder'. I share how it all started, the shame I felt for binging in secret , resources that helped, and the book that changed my life and got me to the other side. 
Read the written article HERE
One on one mentoring HERE

I have something on my heart that I’ve wanted to share about  for years, but it felt too shameful to reveal while I was going through it. 
I had binge eating disorder. 
“Binge eating disorder” feels like three measly words that don’t encapsulate the hell my body went through during this experience. 
For 7 years, food consumed my life. What started with the pure intention to heal digestion issues, quickly and also slowly spiraled into being about so much more. Eating was about my livelihood.  I held this belief that if ate perfectly, then I would heal my concussion, I would get the body of my dreams, attract my soul mate and, most importantly, I would be able to get back to playing soccer like myself. 
Food thoughts consumed my life. I attributed my lingering concussion symptoms to not being strict enough with my diets. 
I know now, that this is complete and utter nonsense. But, fuck, when you’re in it, it’s a dark and shameful place.  Because you don’t know why you can’t stop your binging, especially when it’s the thing you loathe about yourself the most. I’ve never felt more out of control. 
I share this story with so much compassion for myself and anyone who resonates with it. I believe that disordered eating and body image issues are way way way more prominent than we know. Especially, in the female athletic world.
I’ll be sharing how I got to the other side in the future, but for now, here’s a piece where I recount a day in the life of my eating disorder,  when I was in the thick of it. 
Sending love to anyone who relates and I hope you know that every part of you is pure magic. 
Link to read and/or listen to my story in the bio @arrowliving 
xx Kendall