The Self Aware Leader with Jason Rigby Jason Rigby

Hey Self-Aware Leaders,
Today's episode is a special one, inspired by a recent conversation I had with a friend who's leading a team through some major uncertainty. It got me thinking about a powerful concept I stumbled upon in the Harvard Business Review: the importance of developing a clear vision when managing ambiguity.
Now, I know what you're thinking – "Vision? That's easy to say, but how do I actually create one when everything feels up in the air?" Trust me, I get it. As leaders, we're constantly navigating the unknown, and it can be tempting to just react to whatever comes our way.
But here's the thing: when we don't have a clear vision, we're like ships without a rudder, tossed about by the waves of uncertainty. We lose sight of our goals, our values, and what truly matters. And that's when things can really start to unravel.
So, what does it mean to develop a clear vision in the midst of ambiguity?
It's about more than just setting a goal or having a plan. It's about defining what success looks like for you and your team, even when the path forward is unclear.
I love the example they shared in the article about parents trying to raise "good kids." The definition of a "good kid" is different for every family. For some, it might mean academic success, while for others, it might mean strong family connections or athletic achievements. The key is to identify what matters most to you and use that as your guiding light.
So, how do we do this in our own leadership roles?
Here are a few self aware questions to get you started:
What are the core values that guide your decision-making?
What does success look like for your team, your organization, or even your personal life?
How can you align your actions with those values and goals, even when faced with uncertainty?
Once you have a clear vision in mind, it's like having a compass that points you in the right direction, no matter how turbulent the waters get.
Remember, a vision isn't a rigid plan. It's a flexible framework that allows you to adapt and adjust as new information emerges. But it's also a powerful tool that can give you the confidence and clarity you need to lead with purpose, even when the path ahead is uncertain.
So, my fellow self-aware leaders, let's commit to developing a clear vision, not just for our organizations, but for our own lives. Let's embrace the unknown with courage and clarity, knowing that we have the power to create our own success.
Until next time, keep leading with awareness!

Hey friends,
I've been pondering a quote by Dennis Waitley lately, and it's got me thinking about the language we use as leaders – and how it shapes our reality.
Waitley said: "Winners say, 'I must, I can, I will.' Losers say, 'I should have, I could have, I wish I had.'"
Now, before you roll your eyes at another motivational quote, hear me out. As someone who's committed to the journey of self-awareness and higher thinking, I believe this quote offers a powerful insight into the connection between our thoughts, our words, and our results.
The Inner Dialogue of a Winner
Think about the winner's language for a moment:
I must: There's a fire in this phrase, a sense of purpose and urgency. It speaks to a deep-rooted belief that the goal is not just desirable, but essential.
I can: This is pure confidence, a trust in one's abilities and resilience. It's the voice that says, "Challenges are opportunities for growth, and I'm up for the task."
I will: This is the ultimate commitment, a vow to take action and see it through. It's a recognition that our choices and efforts are what drive our progress.
This is the kind of self-talk that propels us forward, that empowers us to create the reality we envision.
The Trap of the Loser's Language
Now, let's shift gears and look at the loser's language:
I should have: Ah, the familiar sting of regret. This phrase anchors us in the past, replaying missed chances and what-ifs.
I could have: This is the voice of unfulfilled potential, whispering about paths not taken and possibilities left unexplored.
I wish I had: This is the final surrender to longing, a resignation to a reality that feels out of reach.
While these phrases might seem harmless, they can create a mental and emotional prison. They keep us trapped in a cycle of self-blame and inaction, preventing us from moving forward.
Rewriting Your Script
So, how do we shift our internal dialogue from loser to winner? It's not about denying the past or ignoring our shortcomings. It's about choosing a more empowering narrative:
Awareness: Pay attention to your thoughts and words. Notice when you slip into the loser's language and gently challenge those patterns.
Reframing: Replace those self-defeating phrases with more positive affirmations. Instead of "I should have," try "Next time, I will." Instead of "I could have," declare "I am capable."
Action: Turn your words into reality. Take steps towards your goals, even if they're small ones. Every action reinforces your commitment and strengthens your belief in yourself.
The Choice is Yours
Remember, you have the power to choose the story you tell yourself. The words you use matter because they shape your perception of reality. By consciously shifting your language, you can unlock a new level of self-belief and create a life that truly reflects your potential.
As always, I'm here with you on this journey of self-discovery and growth. Keep leading with awareness, my friends!

If you're a leader – whether you're running a business, managing a team, or simply leading your own life – I've got a question for you:
Have you ever felt torn between what you know is right and what others expect of you? Have you been called "stubborn" or "difficult" because you refuse to budge on your core beliefs?
If so, you're in good company. I've worked with some incredibly successful people, from startup founders to Fortune 500 CEOs, and I can tell you – the best ones share a common trait: they are uncompromising in the pursuit of their goals.
What Does It Mean to Be Uncompromising?
Now, before you roll your eyes and think I'm talking about being bullheaded or inflexible, let's get something straight: Being an uncompromising leader isn't about ignoring feedback or steamrolling others. It's about having a rock-solid sense of purpose and the courage to stay true to it.
Think about it:
Vision: Uncompromising leaders have a clear, vivid picture of what they want to create. They don't just see the present, they see the future potential.
Values: They know what they stand for, what's non-negotiable. This is their moral compass, guiding them through tough decisions.
Grit: They're not afraid to stand alone when necessary. They have the guts to say "no" to opportunities that don't align with their vision, even if it means facing criticism.
Why It's Not Easy (But Totally Worth It)
Let's be real, this path isn't always a walk in the park. Being an uncompromising leader means:
Facing Doubt: People will question you. They'll tell you you're wrong, that it can't be done. You'll have to find the strength to trust your gut.
Making Tough Calls: Some decisions will be unpopular. You might have to cut ties with people or projects that aren't serving your vision.
Constantly Learning: You'll need to be self-aware, always seeking ways to improve and adapt while staying true to your core.
So, How Do You Get There?
Dig Deep: What makes you tick? What are your non-negotiables? Get crystal clear on your values and priorities.
Craft Your Vision: What do you want to build? What impact do you want to make? Paint a detailed picture of your future.
Build Your Tribe: Surround yourself with people who get it, who will support you, challenge you, and call you out when needed.
Take Bold Action: Don't just dream, do. Start small if you have to, but keep moving forward. Learn from your mistakes and adjust along the way.
The World Needs Your Uncompromising Leadership
If you've ever felt like an outsider because you refuse to compromise your values, know this: You're not alone, and you're not wrong. We need more leaders who have the courage to stand for something, to create positive change in a world that desperately needs it.
Embrace your uncompromising spirit. It's your superpower.
What are your thoughts on uncompromising leadership? Share your stories and experiences in the comments below!
Until next time, keep leading authentically.
 

Welcome to the Self Aware Leader Podcast with Jason Rigby. In this episode, we have the pleasure of hosting Scott Freidheim, author of "Code of Conduct," a memoir and guide to crafting your own principles in an increasingly complex world.
Scott takes us on a journey through the extraordinary highs and challenging lows of his life, from the boardrooms of Wall Street to the personal brink of bankruptcy. Through tales of adversity and triumph, close encounters with global leaders, and life-changing moments of clarity, Scott distills 32 chapters of noble tenets and moral insights.
In this episode, we explore several key themes from Scott's book:
Bravery: Scott shares his harrowing experience during the 9/11 attacks and the critical decision-making moment that likely saved many lives.
Gratitude: We discuss the profound impact of first responders and the importance of recognizing their selfless service.
Compassion: Scott reflects on a haunting encounter with mental illness and the need for a compassionate approach to mental health.
Humility: We explore Scott's journey from aggressive collegiate soccer player to a leader who understands the value of humility in personal growth and success.
Ethics and Accountability: Scott shares stories that highlight the importance of ethical leadership and personal responsibility in the face of challenges and setbacks.
Strategy and Relentlessness: We dive into Scott's experiences at Kenmore and ettain group, discussing the role of strategic thinking, leveraging partnerships, and persevering through adversity.
Throughout the episode, we reflect on the essence of living deliberately, inspired by the resilience and insights of Scott Freidheim's remarkable journey. This conversation isn't merely about listening to a captivating story; it's an invitation to reflect on your own values, consider what drives you, and deliberate on how you navigate the freedoms and trials of life.
Join us as we explore the wisdom and perspective needed to forge your own path, guided by the principles and experiences shared in "Code of Conduct."

We've all been there. Those moments as leaders when a project stalls, a key team member leaves, or that big initiative feels like it's crashing and burning. It's so easy to slip into a spiral: frustration, blame (at others or ourselves), and a sinking feeling of helplessness. That's the victim mentality, and as comfortable as it seems in the moment, it's incredibly destructive to our leadership.
The Trap: How We Give Up Our Power
Here's the thing about playing the victim: we surrender. We convince ourselves that our fate is out of our hands – bad luck, unfair bosses, you name it – anything but ourselves. Thoughts become a chorus of "I can't...", "This always happens to me...", or "Why bother, it's pointless...". It feels easier than taking a hard look in the mirror, but make no mistake, this is us putting ourselves at the mercy of every setback.
We all want to feel in control as leaders. The victim mentality is the illusion of control, where it's somehow safer to wallow than to confront the hard choices ahead. Yet, the very act of choosing this mindset robs us of the true power we hold to shape our path.
My Own Victim Trap (and Yours Too, Let's Be Honest)
Let me get real for a minute. Early in my career, I had a boss who micromanaged everything, undermining my confidence at every turn. It was the perfect breeding ground for a victim mentality. I could blame her for my lack of progress, for feeling stifled and unseen. It WAS unfair...and it was also a dead-end. The day I decided enough was enough, wasn't about her changing. It was about me.
Steps to Break the Cycle
True leadership – the kind that changes teams, organizations, and even ourselves – demands we break free from this trap. Here's what's worked for me, and countless other leaders I've coached:
Awareness is the Antidote: Catch yourself playing the victim. What are those inner monologues, the excuses? Journaling can be powerful here. Get brutally honest about the stories you tell yourself. This isn't about self-judgment, it's about seeing the pattern.
Reframe to Empower: Those negative thoughts? Don't try to silence them, retrain them. "I can't present to this group" becomes "I need more prep to feel confident with this crowd". Instead of "why me?", ask "What might this experience teach me to become a more resilient leader?"
You Do Have a Choice: We can't control everything, but response is always OURS. Taking responsibility doesn't mean being at fault. It means owning the fact that YOU can chart the course ahead, even if that's course-correcting from a mess.
Your Tribe Matters: Mentors, a peer group, even a therapist – we weren't meant to tackle this alone. Find people who get real about leadership struggles and genuinely believe in you, even when you don't.
Spirituality as a Strength (If It's Your Thing): For me, meditation and affirmations help quiet those self-critical voices. Others find strength in a sense of larger purpose. If spirituality plays a role in your life, let it be an anchor when the seas of leadership get stormy.
Resilience: The Muscle We Build: Every time you fall flat, get back up, and dust yourself off, you're growing this muscle. Failing is how we learn. Embracing that is how we become unstoppable.
This Isn't Easy, But It's ESSENTIAL
There will be days the victim mentality whispers sweet nothings of surrender. That's when these steps become a lifeline. True power as a leader is not the absence of challenges, but our ability to meet them, learn, and rise stronger on the other side. The world needs more of that kind of leadership, don't you think?
Let me know in the comments – what's been YOUR biggest victim mentality trap?
 

Dear Self Aware Leaders
Just this week, I stepped onto a plane headed for a much-needed work trip. As the familiar safety briefing began, the flight attendant's voice caught my attention. "Remember," she said, "in case of an emergency, please secure your own oxygen mask before assisting others." Her next words hit me with newfound resonance: "...even though this trip is to Miami, I don't want to see any of you underwater."
It was a playful reminder, but it struck a deeper chord. In the heart of leadership, amongst its demands and the noble drive to serve, lies a paradox: we must sometimes withdraw to truly give. We all know the flight attendant's instructions—secure your own oxygen mask before assisting others. But as leaders, do we truly live this principle?
I believe nurturing our own spirit is the most generous act we can perform for our teams and the world we seek to impact. When we deplete ourselves, it's not just our personal energy that suffers. Our clarity dims, our empathy wanes, and our ability to inspire becomes strained. Without meaning to, we may offer a diminished version of our leadership potential.
Yet, when we prioritize our own wellness—not as a luxury but as a sacred responsibility – something profound happens. We refill our inner reserves. Just as a wellspring nourishes the land, we become sources of resilience, wisdom, and unwavering compassion for those we lead.
So, how do we nurture ourselves, especially in demanding roles?
Title: Dear Exhausted Leader: It's Time to Put YOUR Oxygen Mask On First
Dear Self Aware Leaders
Just this week, I stepped onto a plane headed for a much-needed work trip. As the familiar safety briefing began, the flight attendant's voice caught my attention. "Remember," she said, "in case of an emergency, please secure your own oxygen mask before assisting others." Her next words hit me with newfound resonance: "...even though this trip is to Miami, I don't want to see any of you underwater."
It was a playful reminder, but it struck a deeper chord. In the heart of leadership, amongst its demands and the noble drive to serve, lies a paradox: we must sometimes withdraw to truly give. We all know the flight attendant's instructions—secure your own oxygen mask before assisting others. But as leaders, do we truly live this principle?
I believe nurturing our own spirit is the most generous act we can perform for our teams and the world we seek to impact. When we deplete ourselves, it's not just our personal energy that suffers. Our clarity dims, our empathy wanes, and our ability to inspire becomes strained. Without meaning to, we may offer a diminished version of our leadership potential.
Yet, when we prioritize our own wellness—not as a luxury but as a sacred responsibility – something profound happens. We refill our inner reserves. Just as a wellspring nourishes the land, we become sources of resilience, wisdom, and unwavering compassion for those we lead.
So, how do we nurture ourselves, especially in demanding roles?
1. Embrace Sacred Pauses: Carve out dedicated moments in your day for stillness—even a few minutes of mindful breathing or a walk in nature. These aren't indulgences, but the very act of replenishing the well from which you give.
2. Discover Joy's Power: Actively fill your life with what brings you true joy. This isn't about frivolous escapes, but honoring the unique things that light up your soul. A joyful leader radiates inspiration.
3. Boundaries as Love: Saying 'no' with grace can be the most loving act. It protects your energy for the tasks that truly need your unique leadership. Train yourself, and your team, to respect your boundaries.
4. Seek Growth with Humility: There's always more to learn, more ways to see. Embrace a beginner's mindset, seek out mentors, engage in personal development. This isn't about striving, but expanding your capacity to serve.
5. Honor the Body Temple: Your body is integral to your leadership. Mindfully