PodCastle

Escape Artists Foundation
PodCastle

PodCastle is the world’s first audio fantasy magazine. Weekly, we broadcast the best in fantasy short stories, running the gammut from heart-pounding sword and sorcery, to strange surrealist tales, to gritty urban fantasy, to the psychological depth of magical realism. Our podcast features authors including N.K. Jemisin, Peter S. Beagle, Benjamin Rosenbaum, Jim C. Hines, and Cat Rambo, among others. Terry Pratchett once wrote, “Fantasy is an exercise bicycle for the mind. It might not take you anywhere, but it tones up the muscles that can.” Tune in to PodCastle each Tuesday for our weekly tale, and spend the length of a morning commute giving your imagination a work out.

  1. 2日前

    PodCastle 881: How to Steal the Plot Armor – PART ONE

    * Author : Luke Wildman * Narrator : Hollis Monroe * Host : Matt Dovey * Artist : Eric Valdes * Discuss on Forums Previously published in Writers and Illustrators of the Future, Vol. 37 Rated PG How to Steal the Plot Armor – PART ONE by Luke Wildman   The day before it started, I had to chase off three more heroes with a stick. I swear, winter is the worst season for them. You get a few enterprising farm boys during the spring and summer, and fall’s the time for disinherited princes looking to reclaim kingdoms that their uncles stole from their murdered fathers, but winter is when the big ones arrive. There’s nothing worse than sitting down in front of the hearth, a tome on your knee and a tankard of ale at your elbow, all cozy while the blizzard howls outside — and hearing a knock at the door. You’ll have no peace till you open it. When you do, you’re greeted by the sight of a hulking, smelly barbarian, snow clinging to his fur cloak, sword bigger than your leg strapped over his back, with a story of an omen-prompted journey into the mountains to seek one who will tutor him in magic, or guide him to hidden paths, or interpret runes on an ancient map, and might you be that one? And, of course, you are. Try to deny it and he’ll point out that the prophecy specified the man he sought would be holding a tome and a tankard, and would be venerable of years, knobby of knees, bearded of chin, and dark-skinned as the night. Really, they might leave out the knobby knees part, just once. Do they think I have no feelings? Over my lifetimes, I’ve developed quite the repertoire of tricks for sending heroes away. They never catch on that a person living in a shabby cottage at the highest pass of the most remote mountain in the farthest corner of the world might not want to be bothered, the insensitive jackanapes. So I always had to use other strategies. The beginner’s mistake is thinking rigor alone will deter your average hero, but it only encourages most of them. Their eyes light up when you swear to only take them on as a ‘prentice if they descend into the Tomb of the Necromancer and steal the ruby eye from the idol of Ang’Vel’Nazsh. If they survive this perilous deed, then you really can’t put them off. No; the secret is to give them dishonorable, icky chores, like cleaning your chamber pot or mucking out your pigsty. That usually works. Unfortunately, there’s a breed of hero that revels in humiliation, and might, I shudder to add, even be a bit turned on by it. Such a one was the young gallant who galloped into my life that winter day. It was one of those bright, cold mornings when life in the mountains feels almost a treat, the pines resplendent with icicles and the snow an unbroken field of dazzling white. He arrived while I was hobbling on my staff from the barn to the cottage, having just fed the old nag. I focused on my footing, and so didn’t immediately notice the rider dismounting outside my door. “Hail, honored wizard!” the man called, startling me half out of my wits. “Lo, I have ridden many weeks and endured many perils to seek you.” I sighed as I looked him over. He had the usual shaggy golden hair and storm-blue eyes, the usual disregard for animals (his poor horse was half dead), and the usual lack of sense when it came to dressing for the weather, clad as he was in silver armor that glittered with frost, and a thin cape of purple silk.

    26分
  2. 2月25日

    PodCastle 880: TALES FROM THE VAULTS – Kiki Hernandez Beats the Devil

    * Author : Samantha Mills * Narrator : Sandra Espinoza * Host : Matt Dovey * Audio Producer : Devin Martin * Discuss on Forums Previously published by Translunar Travelers Lounge and as PodCastle #639. Rated PG-13 Kiki Hernández Beats the Devil By Samantha Mills Kiki Hernández, rock legend of the Southwest, had seven devils on her tail. They scurried through the roadside scrub, not even trying to sneak. She could hear their scrabble-claws and clacker-tails, their dripping maws and teeth. If they were trying to round her up for a crossroad deal-making, they were going about it all wrong. That’s what happened when devils got hungry. They made mistakes. Kiki hummed as she walked, watching eddies of dust form tornadoes on the road ahead. It was a swagger of a walk, born of a perfect record: Kiki 72, Devils 0. She would have been bored, if she hadn’t been so eager for an encore. “Come on out!” she hollered. They tumbled forth in a gray-green tangle of many-jointed limbs, an acrid smell preceding them: sulphur and grave dirt and candy apples stuffed with razorblades. Their voices tangled like a nest of snakes: Are you hungry? Are you thirsty? Are you vengeful? Are you sad? For a moment she felt it—the thirst like three weeks eating salted pork, the grief that could only end in retaliation—and then Kiki popped open her molded-plastic carrying case and pulled out her guitar: Mona Lisa. Mona Lisa was fierce. She was raw. She was a fine-tuned devil-killing music monster. They never stood a chance. Kiki laughed, high and wild, as her fingers danced through “Voodoo Child”—acoustic, sadly, but that was the state of the world these days. In Kiki’s head she was rocking steel strings and a hundred watts. She was playing to a crowd of twenty thousand and crushing it. The first trio of devils hit a solid wall of sound and crumpled, bloody and squealing, to the earth. The others skittered away, and she chased after them, shouting, “Come back, you cowards!” She needn’t have worried. They raced for the crossroad, so desperate they didn’t even notice what was waiting for them there. Kiki’s hellhound. He was short and squat, with the jowls of a Neapolitan Mastiff and the blue-black coat of a Friesian horse. He had curling horns for ears and deep pits of flame for eyes, and he swallowed those devils in two bites apiece. “Ozzy!” Kiki scolded. “What did I say about wandering off?” He slumped hard against her leg, whining, and she pulled out a spare bone pick to loosen the gristle from his fangs. He let out a particularly un-hellish yip when she accidentally jabbed his gum. “Well next time don’t chomp them around the ribs!” she said. “Honestly, Ozzy…” He tilted his head for scratches, and Kiki complied. She was still flush with the high of performing, the heart-fluttering, head-buzzing, loose-muscle happiness that only came from a good tune. It didn’t matter if there was no audience. She had Ozzy. And then a voice like rotting garbage slithered down the breeze: “Isn’t that just too sweet to stomach?” Kiki spun, guitar drawn against her belly. An enormous toad-like devil was sitting on top of an overturned city bus, wide and squat and green, with a short, sharp horn protruding from the center of its forehead. A nasty wall of cacti stood between them, holding the beast out of guitar range. That bit of foresight was alarming.

    42分
  3. 2月18日

    PodCastle 879: The Tawlish Island Songbook of the Dead

    * Author : E. M. Linden * Narrator : Louise Hewitt * Host : Alasdair Stuart * Audio Producer : Eric Valdes * Discuss on Forums PodCastle 879: The Tawlish Island Songbook of the Dead is a PodCastle original. Content warnings for grief, infant death, and a reference to suicide Rated PG-13 The Tawlish Island Songbook of the Dead E.M. Linden   The living have been leaving Tawlish for centuries; this evacuation is only the latest and last. There are good reasons for it: the freshwater spring gone brackish; the water, always encroaching; the colicky, relentless wind. No schools for the children. No doctor. We should have seen it coming, but sometimes we forget what the living need. We cannot cross salt, so we watch from shore. Our loved ones and descendants wade into the sea. The men strain to hold the boats steady against the waves. Everyone’s weighed down by possessions, a village crammed into sacks and lifeboats. Spoons, spindles, fish-hooks, balls of yarn. A clothes-peg doll in a twist of old apron. Seabirds’ eggs wrapped in blankets: habits ingrained by generations of scarcity. They’ve even dug up their potatoes. Katie Zell’s mother is already on the boat. The songbook is tucked inside her jacket. Thirty-seven people. Only some of them look back. They leave cold firepits and fulmar bones, middens, empty crofts with the thatch already collapsing. Sheep they’ve blessed and turned loose to fend for themselves. And us. The dead of Tawlish. Katie Zell’s father has been dead longer than she’s been alive. Before he drowned, he’d hoped to sing her lullabies: the ones he sang to her older brothers, the ones his grandparents sang to him. Now, in farewell, he rests his hand briefly on her curls. Most of the living are oblivious to the dead, but the Zells are a noticing kind of family. Katie raises her hand to his; perhaps she mistakes the cold brush of it for sea-spray. It’s enough. He smiles. That’s all there is time for: Katie’s uncle lifts her from the shore, over the churn of the sea, and seats her next to her cousin on the boat. Old Maureen Stornaway is furious, sees evacuation as defeat. She clenches a knuckle of island rock in her pocket. Tiny luminosities watch her from shore: the ghosts of three of her children. She strains her eyes and peers back through the sea-mist. Maybe something shines there. After decades of loss, of wishing them still with her, this is the first and last time that she almost makes them out. The rector, smug, takes nothing. He doesn’t need to. He has a house on the mainland, and — as far as he’s concerned — he’s saved thirty-seven souls. A Tawlish tradition: the living and dead send each other gifts. The living give tobacco and carved pipes, posies of sea-vetch, griddle-cake. Packets of seeds for Lizzie Knell. Wooden rattles and teething rings. Handkerchiefs embroidered with our names. They slip our gifts into the flames so that they’ll cross over to our side. Burnt offerings. The wind chases the sparks out of the sky. The gifts arrive smelling of smoke. Our gifts are less generous. All we can send are dreams. Tonight, all together, we dream safe passage for the living. Grudgingly, because they’re abandoning us; jealously, because we want them here: their songs and laughter reminding us who we are, their bones buried beside ours in the thin Tawlish soil. We dream them returning.

    42分
  4. 2月11日

    PodCastle 878: The Carving of War

    * Author : Somto Ihezue * Narrator : Mofiyinfoluwa Okupe * Host : Matt Dovey * Audio Producer : Devin Martin * Discuss on Forums Previously published by Tor – Africa Risen anthology   Content warnings for violent murder and the death of an animal Rated R The Carving Of War By Somto Ihezue   Odili was a child when Nkeala, her grandmother, died. All she remembered of her were her braids, a tangle of clouds that reached for the floor. She remembered her eyes, how they swallowed her face. To look into them was to be lost in a vastness. It was to find eyes — owl eyes, bold eyes, brown eyes — staring back at you. Most of all, she remembered her kindness, an unending sea. Nkeala had been dìbìā — keeper, to Idemili; the roaring python, they who drowned oceans, mother of mothers. At the birth of time, Idemili, like beads dancing on a fragile waist, had wound herself around the clans of Obosi. Out of her mouth, the Eke River poured, its brooks and streamlets giving sustenance to the corn in the farmlands, the antelopes of the wild and the Irokos that split the sky. Odili’s family was bound in perpetuity to Idemili. With her grandmother’s passing, the fanged staff fell to her mother, Adaugo. In the past, a few keepers had met their fate with defiance. Odili’s great-great grandfather, Agbadike, had refused the staff when it passed to him. Setting the shrine of Idemili ablaze, he invoked the ritual of blood in a bid to sever the bond that tethered his life to the deity. Three days after, a breadfruit fell from a tree and split his skull in half. Like moth to fire, Adaugo embraced the mantle of keeper. Before her twelfth birthday, she could already perform the passage rites of ancestors. Beneath the glow of a horned moon, she’d slay a ram, its body thrashing beneath her knee. Immersed in its blood, she’d wade into the Eke, bridging the fold between the living and the dead. Ancestors past would come walking through her, blessing and cursing the ones they left behind. When she was heavy with Odili, Adaugo ventured into Idemili’s mouth and emerged unscathed, spirit water coursing through her veins. One of the dwindling few, Adaugo knew the words to the eternal utterances and the anchors that held them. The clans of Obosi had revered Nkeala; Adaugo, they feared. She was power unbridled, her dedication to Idemili undying. Like her mother and keepers before her, Adaugo stayed unwed. “We are the rage of Idemili, unburdened by the constraints of love and companionship,” she’d remind Odili, “We are fire and water, we are rain and lightning, our bodies are nothing but vessels.” Still, keepers were mandated to bear offspring and preserve their line. Without a present father, a mother who in all entirety was of another realm, Odili roamed the village unchecked, her python familiar slithering beside her. More than a companion, it had become a parent, regurgitating rabbits and bush rats for her to roast and eat. When the first missionaries came to their village, Odili was drawn in by their flaky bread and the trinkets that hung from their neck, how they shimmered in the light. At the rooster’s crow, she’d run into the village, into the shack that doubled as a chapel, to watch the priests bless communion, to watch Edward. Edward was a mass server and Edward was beautiful. With her eyes, she’d follow him and when he caught her stare,

    31分
  5. 2月4日

    PodCastle 877: The Hand That Feeds

    * Author : Louis Inglis Hall * Narrator : Pippa Alice Stephens * Host : Matt Dovey * Audio Producer : Devin Martin * Discuss on Forums Previously published by The Colored Lens   Content warning for the death of a child Rated PG-13 The Hand That Feeds by Louis Inglis Hall   Last Christmas a mermaid died in the school swimming pool. It was only a small pool, built up at the sides with wooden panels, more like a tank for training children in. That meant it froze over very easily, but a mermaid couldn’t know that. It stood in a courtyard in the shadow of the school, and the sun reached it only at rare intervals. Behind it lurked a stone and sulking outhouse, pebbledash walls lashed together with a corrugated plastic roof. In its damp darkness the children undressed, and tripped, and snapped tight, powdered rubber caps over their skulls. Under its benches something black grew wetly out towards them. It was the hut that Freya hated most of all. Miss Wallace had caught Archie Dorrick from Upper Third belting down the corridor but she hadn’t told him off, not properly, just asked him why he needed to be rushing so quick. He said there was a mermaid dead in the pool, that it must have happened in the holidays, and Miss Wallace was so interested that she didn’t ask Archie why he had been down there on his own, which was definitely cigarettes. Miss Wallace was young and pretty and was allowed to wear any jumper she liked, unlike Freya, who was a pupil and had to wear a plain grey one like everybody else. Miss Wallace also had colourful bracelets on her arms and hair that rose up above her head and fanned out like branches. When she moved they swayed about her; the bracelets and the hair both. In the older years they had a teacher for English and a teacher for history and a teacher for comparative mythography, but Freya was only nine so Miss Wallace was her everything teacher, and she needed no other. Freya’s last teacher had been Mr Heagerty, who had folded himself into a corner of the classroom, spiderlike, and spoke to them only in riddles. His interest in the outside world was oblique at best, and he’d never once worn a bracelet or even a colourful tie. For Miss Wallace, the outside world was the whole point, it was something to push both your hands into and wiggle about. That was why Class 7C were allowed to follow her, symmetrical grey cygnets, through the hall and out the fire escape and down the iron stairway that led to the pool with the mermaid in it. The ice was frozen over most of it, a thin sheet, breakable. One arm punctured the surface, a long, grey-brown javelin that reached up and out and seized around the metal rung of the ladder in a tight fist. Frost followed up it and caught on the trail of fine hairs that sloped along its back. Freya couldn’t see down below the ice; Miss Wallace had them at a distance, she had first dibs on exploration. Freya jostled her way to the front of the group. She knew she had to be as close as was allowed. Miss Wallace stared down at the mermaid, and her hair quivered, and her breath came out in clouds. Below her the arm was stiff, and quiet, and altogether too close to her throat. In the end it was Juno Clarke who asked the question that held them all close with a ferocious anxiety. Juno asked if Miss Wallace was sure it was really dead, and Miss Wallace said yes,

    36分
  6. 1月21日

    PodCastle 875: Last Ritual of the Smoke Eaters

    * Author : Osahon Ize-Iyamu * Narrator : Takudzwa Sharon Kirimi * Host : Matt Dovey * Audio Producer : Devin Martin * Discuss on Forums Previously published by Lightspeed Magazine Content warnings for grief and the death of a spouse Rated PG-13 Last Ritual of the Smoke Eaters By Osahon Ize-Iyamu   I didn’t want to eat Joshua, but he turned into dust, and the way things go in Carucchi village is that if someone turns into ashes you inhale them till there’s nothing but smoke in your lungs and redness in your eyes. Sometimes we have to eat people to make us less lonely. I didn’t want to do it, but Joshua named me as his eater, so my entire village forced me down on the floor and told me it was necessary. Great-aunty Chinny held my hands and made me inhale his smoke till his entire presence was roiling through my body like the last movements of a dragon. When Joshua had finally settled in my body, he felt like a weight in my throat.   Joshua and I used to play by the riverside all day and night. This was before his death and before he left and before the inhalation. This was before him telling me he loved me (he always loved me). The riverside was considered to be one of the safest places in our village, the place were youth could go to avoid the dreaded dragon’s breath and the insecurity of the nation and the fear of living life in worry. The river was thought to be some anti-dragon zone, and it was believed that if we stayed there long enough, we would prevent our own deaths. We could hold space for our futures, laugh and sing and love once again, and we could hold on another day longer. Joshua was always an adventurer. He would wade through the water like he was fighting the biggest smokebeast dragon, splashing through the river like he was slicing through its depths like a sword. He couldn’t swim properly, but when he waded all the way to the deeper parts of the river he would drag me in, as if I were his life craft. We would laugh and he would tease me for being silly and I would chase him around the water, screaming at him for getting me wet. As if no one ever went to the riverside without knowing they’d be soaked. As if wetness wasn’t everyone’s private rebellion against the heat of the dragon. On the river shore, after we had finished playing and we were waiting for our clothes to finish drying on rocks nearby, Joshua told me he was going to join the soldiers leaving for war. He didn’t even let me speak with the way he blurted it out — he was so adamant about it, because he knew I always interrupted him. I was going to tell him that he didn’t have to go because his family were always fighters, that he didn’t have to be a hero by being a warrior, that sometimes being a hero means staying home, but you could tell he’d been thinking about it forever and he’d made up his mind. Come a fortnight from that day, the Carucchi soldiers would be raging war against the ferocious dragon territory of the East, and no one would be able to stop them. I could see the pride in his eyes when he told me. I didn’t want him to leave, but everybody has their own personal ways of fighting, of dealing with a life under despair, and I didn’t want to stop his. I sat with him in silence, waiting for our clothes to dry on the rocks. I held his hands the whole time, my own private prayer that he would return after his departure,

    39分
  7. 1月14日

    PodCastle 874: The Husband

    * Author : P.C. Verrone * Narrator : Eric Valdes * Host : Matt Dovey * Audio Producer : Eric Valdes * Discuss on Forums PodCastle 874: The Husband is a PodCastle original. Content warnings for sex, violence, and references to the death of a spouse Rated R The Husband By P.C. Verrone   He has never taken a man for a wife before. This becomes clear as he introduces me to his other wives. The youngest wife bristles and the wife with the long, dark hair avoids meeting my eye. The tallest wife just looks from him to me and nods. Her face betrays no hint of hospitality. They are aware that he and I have exchanged vows, exchanged fluids. However they may feel, nothing can be done about it now. He has chosen me. He wants a feast to celebrate. We order delivery. When the driver arrives, the youngest wife invites him into the house. She is beautiful and coy, and the driver is stupid. As soon as he steps inside, our husband sinks his teeth into the man’s neck. At the sight of blood, my eyes fill with red. I leap at the body in our husband’s arms, but a sharp jab in my rib sends me tumbling to the floor. The youngest wife tucks her elbow back against her side as she devours our victim’s clavicle. I reach for a wrist, a thigh, but the wife with long, dark hair kicks me away. The tallest wife glowers at me, lapping at the driver’s neck, inches from our husband’s lips. I can only suck the capillaries from the man’s toes. If our husband notices, he does nothing. As the sunrise approaches, all five of us descend into the cellar. Four pine boxes glimmer in the scant moonlight. The other wives climb into their own, but he invites me to sleep in his. My fingers dig into the silty soil of his homeland spread across the bottom. In the tight space, he undresses me with ease as I nip at the last vestiges of the delivery boy’s blood on his lips. The sex only partly quenches the starvation in my belly. Afterwards, he snores gently against my back. My nerves are so giddy, I can hardly sleep. It was meant to be a routine inspection. Some young couple had purchased the old Anderson widow’s place, so I was sent to assess the property. It had lain empty for sixty years, but lately any listing with four walls and a roof was getting snatched up. The agency notified me that they hadn’t located the key for the cellar, so they’d be sending somebody to get me in. The only access to the house was a mile-long unpaved road off the highway, which eventually led to the state park. As I turned onto the dirt road, the roar of traffic hushed beneath rustling leaves and chittering birds. Under the heavy tree cover, I could hardly tell that the sun was setting. Just when I worried that I had somehow taken a wrong turn, the trees opened up to unveil a small workman’s cottage. Taking in the sturdy wood walls and pre-war pragmatism of its design, I was struck by a pang of envy. This house had some history to it, nothing like my prefab “dream home” cluttered with trendy appliances. From the outside, the house seemed shockingly well kept. The new homeowners would be pleased to hear that. When I met him inside, I assumed he was the locksmith the agency had sent, though his formal suit made it seem like he was showing the house rather than unlocking a basement. Dark, slick hair, pale skin, and those eyes. When I shook his hand, something skittered around my ribcage. I don’t remember a thing about the assessment.

    51分

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番組について

PodCastle is the world’s first audio fantasy magazine. Weekly, we broadcast the best in fantasy short stories, running the gammut from heart-pounding sword and sorcery, to strange surrealist tales, to gritty urban fantasy, to the psychological depth of magical realism. Our podcast features authors including N.K. Jemisin, Peter S. Beagle, Benjamin Rosenbaum, Jim C. Hines, and Cat Rambo, among others. Terry Pratchett once wrote, “Fantasy is an exercise bicycle for the mind. It might not take you anywhere, but it tones up the muscles that can.” Tune in to PodCastle each Tuesday for our weekly tale, and spend the length of a morning commute giving your imagination a work out.

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