9. Steve - "Not that I really believe in luck, either. I just believe life is what it is."

Queerstake

Here’s the recipe for today’s steak:

-1 dash of BYU (Brigham Young University, the Lord’s favorite school.)

-1 chopped Mission President (leaders of a mission area who are in charge of up to 600 missionaries.)

-3 Bears (A larger, harrier gay man.)

-2 Cubs (A younger bear, I’m really not sure why you were expecting anything else)

-1 Otter (Leaner guys with body hair and scruff. Like a petite version of a Bear or Cub.)

-2 pairs of Garments (The “Magic Mormon Underwear” non members may often hear or joke about. Older members who have gone through the temple wear temple garments as a reminder of their covenants made to God in the temple.)

-28 oz. whole peeled “Eternal Smile” (Garment tops for men have a few different styles including the crewneck, the v neck, and the swoosh, which is often called the eternal smile. Chances are if you know a member you’ve noticed the swoop neck through a tee or a white dress shirt of his. Nobody knows why some men think the visible swoop neck under a diaphanous white shirt is a good fashion choice but whatever. I’ve probably done it.)

-1 Confession to a Bishop and 3/4 of a confession to a Mission President (Bishops and Mission Presidents conduct worthiness interviews with members and missionaries to see if they are still worthy for the sacrament or to enter the temple. Sometimes members go to their leader on their own to confess a sin. Consequences on any given sin depend on the leader and the sin.)

Blend ingredients in a food processor. Pour over steak and grill between the hours of 6:27 - 6:57 pm, making sure the meat is exposed to plenty of sunlight.

Podcast art provided by Briton Groesbeck.

Music provided by Pink Pocket Squares (Dave Supplee & Mika McIntosh)

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