Should I Give Advice

Our Life Choices

Giving advice comes with a sense of authority.

It feels good when someone comes to confide in us with their trust.

We feel empowered as we discuss the decisions and choices of others while we allow ourselves that little gratification of feeling wise.

I'm sure you have been on both sides, whether you were asking or giving advice.

Communicating our decisions and elaborating on our thoughts with others is a healthy practice.

However, the question is, "does confiding in others for our life choices give us better results in the long run?"

The Trusted Advisor

Change is part of life, but often it is uncomfortable because it can affect our sense of identity.

When making a tough decision, it is common to seek help from a trusted advisor.

The problem with being the advisor and giving advice is that people will make a change or do something, only if they want to. The change needs to be their decision.

You cannot make anyone do anything.

In a world where free will and justice exists, individuals ultimately make their own choices and decisions.

The role of an unbiased advisor is to listen and lend an ear rather than project their personal opinion.

Asking probing questions and allowing the advisee to air their thoughts is more valuable than telling people what they should do.

A great listener is a sounding board to amplify their voice and empower the individual to elaborate and express their concerns.

Ramifications of Avoiding Responsibility

Who is to blame when the consequence of our actions creates further problems?

It's easier to point fingers rather than take responsibility.

Advice seekers shift the onus of their choices on others because they believe "that is what you told me to do, and it didn't work, so you were wrong!"

Most of the Consultant Industry operates in a manner where blame can be easily shifted to a third party.

As an example, If you, the advisor, told me, the advisee, that it was a good idea to start this or pursue that, then it is the advisor's fault that I failed because it didn't turn out in my favour, right?

There lies the fallacy. A person who asks a thousand people's opinions before they act, usually blame others when they fail. 

Of course, there are exceptions to advising people in certain circumstances when they have absolutely no idea what to do.

However, if we can be honest with ourselves and venture deep inside our conscious thoughts, we all know the answer to our problems without external solutions.

Blame Insurance

Many people use advice as a sense of insurance to abscond from responsibility.

"It wasn't my fault. They suggested it" is a common phrase for blame brokers who take out insurance policies on their decisions.

If you detect this behavioral personality, beware of becoming the advisee’s blame insurance or scapegoat.

It becomes easy in hindsight to blame the advisor, for failed advice, when the reality of the situation is that you made a choice.

The blame game is difficult to avoid and is a slippery slope once you start sliding.

The question is then, what do you do when someone comes to you for advice?

How do you shift the responsibility back to the person who will ultimately need to decide for themselves?

My answer might seem crude, and honestly, it is.

The Devils Advocate

One of the best things you could do for someone who seeks advice is to challenge their concept or ideology.

Saying, "No, I don't think it will work." is hard to do, but it is the medicine that they need.

Tell them their idea is terrible, it will never work, and there is no poin