哪些建议看似有益实则“有毒”？可以大众但不能从众...

 主播：Flora（中国）+ Erin（美国）

 歌曲： I Count on Me

今天我们要聊一个非常有趣并且比较深刻的话题，关于一些看似流行但其实可以被视为toxic (有毒) 的建议。

Today, we’re unpacking some of these popular “toxic” suggestions and exploring a healthier, more realistic way (更健康、更现实的方法) to approach them. 

This isn’t to say all advice is bad (并不是说所有的建议都是不好的), but it’s crucial to recognize when advice doesn’t quite apply to your own situation. 

01. “Just be yourself.” 做你自己。

It sounds positive. 但是这句话省略了一个非常重要的premise（前提）that is you’re already self-aware and respectful of others (你建立了自我意识和对他人的尊重). The problem with this advice is that it implies any version of yourself is perfect (任何时候的你自己都是完美的) just as it is.

But personal growth is about identifying areas where we can improve, not just accepting everything at face value (从表面上看). Growth is about learning, progress and transformation (转变) and going beyond yourself. 片面地理解这句话可能会lead you astray (让你误入歧途)。

So, instead of using “be yourself” as a blanket excuse, think of it as “be the best version of yourself (做最好的自己).” Ask yourself, “Am I truly living up to my potential (发挥了我的潜力吗)? Is this really my best self?”

02. “Show them what they’re missing.” 做出点什么让他们看看。

This is the idea of proving others wrong by showing them you can succeed. 但是如果你的动力是建立在向别人证明自己的基础上，actually the mindset can become toxic.

If your motivation is solely to get validation (仅仅是为得到认可) or prove something to others, then your success isn’t really for you (你的成功不是真正为了自己), is it?

Live for yourself, guys. If you think their assertions (断言) are ridiculous and toxic, just stay away from them. Not all people are careful with their words (审慎发言), but you don't have to take responsibility for their mistakes.

一种更健康的说法是“Achieve your goals because they matter to you, not as a form of revenge or validation.” Let your accomplishments be something that fulfills you—not something that proves a point (而不是证明观点的东西).

03. “Why are you sad? You have everything to be happy about.” 明明有值得高兴的一切，为什么要难过呢？

Flora thinks, to a certain extent, the person who said it is demeaning other people's emotions (贬低别人的情绪). Because no one can fully empathize with someone else (完全感同身受), we never have the right to judge how they really feel.

It implies that external circumstances should control your emotions (意味着外部环境应该控制着你的情绪). 但是情绪并不是这样运作的。This kind of advice can make people feel ashamed of their sadness. But it’s just a natural emotion. So don’t ignore and disrespect your true feelings.

We should recognize that it’s okay to feel down even if things seem fine on the surface. Emotions aren’t something you can rationalize away (合理化)—they’re valid and deserve to be acknowledged (值得被承认).

Instead “Allow yourself to feel what you feel without judgment. Acknowledge it and give yourself the space to work through it.” Then your emotions feel taken care of. Sometimes you think that ignoring your emotions will save you more time, when in reality it will only accumulate more problems (积累更多的问题).

04. “Follow your passion.” 跟随你的激情。