Coach Lee

Coach Lee
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Coach Lee

Coach Lee is a world-renown relationship coach who helps people get an ex back after a breakup, save a marriage, and become more attractive. Lee has coached people in relationships since 2000. His website is https://MyExBackCoach.com and includes hundreds of articles and videos. Lee has lectured at Pepperdine University and others, is a TED educator on the science of breakups, and has been interviewed by major media including The New York Times, USA Today, The Today Show, New York Post, Men’s Health, L.A. Business Journal, Cosmopolitan, Daily Mail, Metro UK, Bravo TV, Yahoo Lifestyle, Glamor, and MSN among others. Lee uses real-life experience with breakups along with his work for 20 years providing relationship-recovery coaching. He has multiple certifications for relationship coaching & consulting. Get information on his Emergency Breakup Kit & Emergency Marriage Kit at MyExBackCoach.com. SUBSCRIBE to this podcast as well as on YouTube at https://youtube.com/myexbackcoach so you don’t miss videos on saving relationships, keeping love strong, and the science of attraction. INSTAGRAM @RealCoachLee

  1. 3 DAYS AGO

    "If" by Rudyard Kipling Read by Lee Wilson

    "If" is a poem by English poet Rudyard Kipling, written circa 1895 as a tribute to Leander Starr Jameson. It is a literary example of Victorian-era stoicism. This is a reading by Coach Lee, especially encouraging young men. If you can keep your head when all about you       Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,   If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,    But make allowance for their doubting too;   If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,    Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,    And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise: If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;       If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;   If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster    And treat those two impostors just the same;   If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken    Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,    And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools: If you can make one heap of all your winnings    And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,And lose, and start again at your beginnings    And never breathe a word about your loss;If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew    To serve your turn long after they are gone,   And so hold on when there is nothing in you    Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’ If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,       Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,    If all men count with you, but none too much;If you can fill the unforgiving minute    With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,   Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,       And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

    2 min

  2. 3 DAYS AGO

    Should You Give Up On Getting Your Ex Back?

    Deciding whether to move on from an ex can be challenging. Many grapple with the emotional turmoil of a breakup, questioning whether waiting or trying to get back together is worth it. Below are some key considerations to help you navigate this decision. 1. Ask the Right Question: Should You Try to Get Them Back?Instead of asking if you should give up, ask if your ex is worth the effort. Reflect on their behavior during and after the breakup. If they left without trying to resolve issues or walked away over trivial matters, this could indicate they aren’t a good partner. A strong partner shows commitment and resilience. If they leave at the first sign of trouble or fail to communicate, it may not be wise to invest more time and energy into them. Imagine a friend describing your ex’s actions—what advice would you give them? Often, viewing the situation from a detached perspective can provide clarity. 2. Consider If There’s Someone ElseIf your ex is with someone new, it’s critical to assess the situation. This doesn’t always mean reconciliation is impossible, but it does complicate things. When someone quickly enters a new relationship, they may be in the infatuation phase, also known as limerence. This stage is characterized by intense emotions and a lack of rationality, but it always fades. While waiting for limerence to end is an option, it’s important to evaluate whether this person is worth the wait, especially if they’ve shown a pattern of leaving when the initial spark fades. 3. Examine Their Breakup HistoryYour ex’s relationship patterns can provide valuable insights. If they’ve repeatedly been the one to end relationships without returning, this could signal a habit of avoiding commitment or leaving at the first sign of difficulty. Conversely, if they’ve tried to work on past relationships, it may indicate they value commitment and are open to reconciliation. However, if their history suggests a tendency to move from one partner to another, you could be at risk of being another chapter in a repetitive pattern. 4. Evaluate Blame Dynamics in the RelationshipIf your ex frequently blamed you for every issue without taking accountability, this could indicate entitlement or immaturity. Healthy relationships involve both partners acknowledging their contributions to problems and working together to resolve them. Some people confuse the peaceful, stable phase of a relationship with boredom and leave in search of excitement. If your ex left for such reasons and placed the blame entirely on you, it’s worth questioning whether they have the maturity to sustain a long-term partnership. 5. Reflect on Times You Considered LeavingRelationships are rarely perfect, and it’s common to experience moments of doubt. If you previously thought about leaving your ex but chose to stay and work through issues, this demonstrates your commitment. However, if your ex left without making similar efforts, it may indicate they lack the dedication required for a healthy relationship. Consider whether the relationship was as strong as you remember. Often, the pain of loss makes people romanticize the past and forget the challenges they faced while together. Reflecting on your own doubts can help you assess whether reconciling is truly in your best interest. Moving ForwardWhile some of these points may seem discouraging, they are meant to provide clarity and guide your decision-making. Many relationships do survive breakups, but it’s crucial to approach the situation with your eyes open. Give yourself time—at least three months—to process your emotions and gain perspective. During this period, focus on self-reflection and personal growth. Once the initial intensity of your feelings has subsided, you’ll be better equipped to decide whether to continue pursuing your ex or move on. Remember, your worth isn’t determined by someone else’s willingness to be with you. If your ex fails to recognize your value, it’s thei

    16 min

  3. 6 DAYS AGO

    Your Ex Feels Loss LATER

    When Your Ex Begins to Feel the Impact of Loss: Exploring the Shift in Emotional Dynamics After a Breakup Breakups bring a challenging range of emotions. Typically, one person may feel caught off guard and devastated, while the other may seem to hold all the power. However, the emotional dynamics between the one who initiated the breakup and the person who was left behind can shift significantly over time. Known as “role reversal,” this transition often surprises both individuals, flipping the feelings of control and relief into unexpected emotions like regret or even a deep sense of loss. This article explores why this emotional shift happens, how it unfolds, and what steps you can take to navigate this new landscape with strength and clarity. Get the Emergency Breakup Kit at https://MyExBackCoach.com/ebk  1. Control Versus Loss: The Initial Breakup DynamicWhen a breakup happens, the person who initiates it is often in a position of power. This individual has likely spent considerable time processing their decision internally, possibly weighing the relationship’s pros and cons before making the choice to end it. When the moment comes, they may present their reasoning with confidence, leaving little room for the other person’s input. For the person who is on the receiving end, this is profoundly disempowering. Being left without a say in the decision can create a sense of helplessness. The partner who wanted to stay together is suddenly forced into a reality they didn’t choose, dealing with a mixture of heartbreak and a lack of control. This imbalance of power and emotion places the two people on opposite ends of the spectrum: the one who left feels free and in control, while the other is grappling with overwhelming feelings of rejection and powerlessness. This initial divide often sets the stage for a major shift in emotions down the road. 2. Early Feelings of Validation vs. the Sting of RejectionAfter a breakup, the person who initiates it often experiences a wave of self-assurance, especially if their former partner expresses a desire to reconcile. Observing the other person’s hurt and longing can give the initiator a sense of validation, making them feel valued and significant. This can even create a temporary boost in self-worth, reinforcing their choice to leave as they interpret it as a reflection of their desirability. However, for the person who was left, it’s a completely different experience. Rejection cuts deeply, often shaking self-esteem and bringing up doubts about personal worth. While the one who left feels a sense of power, the one left behind is left questioning their value, attractiveness, and what went wrong. For the person who initiated the breakup, the initial sense of validation can feel like an “elevation,” as if they’ve ascended to a new level of self-importance. They might even start seeing other potential partners as “options” rather than people. Meanwhile, the person who was left behind is struggling to make sense of it all, facing a much more painful version of reality. 3. The Ambiguous Excuses: A Shroud of Self-DiscoveryIn many breakups, the person initiating the separation often uses broad, personal excuses like, “I need to work on myself,” or “I’m going through a tough time.” These explanations are difficult to question because they seem introspective and sincere. However, these reasons are often surface-level justifications covering deeper emotions—such as waning attraction, diminished interest, or a lack of motivation to keep working on the relationship. These “self-discovery” justifications allow the person who left to avoid taking full responsibility for the breakup, cloaking their decision in terms that sound thoughtful rather than superficial. For the person left behind, these vague reasons create even more confusion. They’re left wondering why they couldn’t “work on themselves” within the relationship or support their partner through t

    20 min

  4. 9 NOV

    The Breakup Should COST Your Ex

    Making the Breakup Impactful for Your Ex: Steps Toward Potential Reconnection Emergency Breakup Kit at https://MyExBackCoach.com/emergency-breakup-kit Breakups often leave one person holding all the cards, typically the one who initiates the split. If you’re hoping to reignite the relationship, it’s crucial to understand that your ex needs to feel the cost of the breakup on an emotional level. Without this sense of loss, they may never fully understand what they gave up. In this guide, we’ll explore why creating a meaningful sense of consequence can influence their willingness to reflect on and possibly rekindle the connection. 1. Change Stems from Discomfort People generally avoid change until their current situation becomes too uncomfortable to bear. In relationships, this idea means that your ex may need to face the reality of being without you before they consider getting back together. Chasing or trying to convince them to return only reduces the discomfort they might otherwise feel, giving them a way to bypass the emotional reality of their decision. By stepping back and using a period of no contact, you allow your ex to feel the impact of the breakup. This distance can help them realize what it means to lose you and may even create a sense of uncertainty that challenges their original assumptions about ending things. 2. Balance the Power Dynamic At the point of separation, your ex likely felt they had control over both the relationship’s direction and the situation. They may have even felt they could come back whenever they wanted. Your goal should be to counter this sense of control by asserting your own boundaries and refusing to react emotionally or desperately. Maintain Dignity Through Distance: The period of no contact serves as a silent declaration of self-respect and composure. By withholding contact, you show your ex that you won’t accept being taken for granted and that you’re fully capable of thriving on your own. The quiet resolve may prompt them to think, “Are they really moving on?” or “Have I made a mistake?” Act in Unexpected Ways: If your ex thinks they know exactly how you’ll react—likely with clinginess or persistence—surprise them. Remaining composed or moving forward with confidence sends a message that you’re perfectly fine without them. This shift disrupts the original power dynamic and encourages them to rethink their decision. Emergency Breakup Kit at https://MyExBackCoach.com/emergency-breakup-kit 3. Embrace the Power of Mystery When a person acts predictably, they’re easy to understand. After a breakup, your ex likely thinks they know exactly how you’ll behave, and they may assume you’ll be single or consumed by thoughts of them. Showing them otherwise can be a valuable tool. Display Resilience in Your Own Life: Rather than allowing the breakup to control you, focus on activities that show personal growth. Pursue new hobbies, enjoy time with friends, and live life with genuine positivity. This behavior, when shared subtly, can prompt your ex to reconsider how they view you and the end of your relationship. Show that You’re Not Reaching Out: Most people expect some degree of pursuit after ending a relationship, especially if they were the ones in control. When you maintain distance, you create an aura of mystery. With no frequent updates or outreach, your ex may start questioning what you’re up to and whether they fully understood their feelings for you. 4. Let Them Question Whether Too Much Damage Was Done An important factor in creating a sense of emotional consequence is letting your ex wonder if the breakup might have made it impossible to reconcile. If they’re uncertain about where you stand, they may start reflecting on whether they’ve lost their chance with you altogether. This uncertainty can act as a catalyst, making them reconsider the decision to end things. Give Space for Reflection: In silence, you allow your ex to fill in the g

    11 min

  5. 5 NOV

    No Contact, Now What?

    No Contact: Now What? When going through a breakup, many people understand the importance of giving space, or as I call it, going "no contact." However, once you're in no contact, the question becomes, now what? In this article, I’ll help guide you through the next steps, whether or not your ex decides to reach out. Get Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit at https://MyExBackCoach.com/emergency-breakup-kit 1. When Your Ex Reaches OutThe biggest question I hear is, What should I do if my ex contacts me? This is a pivotal moment, as it usually indicates they're feeling unsure about the breakup. They may be open to reconnecting but are likely still on the fence. Here’s how to handle it: Stay Calm and Avoid Pressure:When your ex reaches out, do your best to remain calm. Avoid pressuring them, both emotionally and in conversation. It’s normal to feel excited, but expressing too much eagerness could overwhelm them or make them feel obligated. Instead, keep things light and casual. Avoid Emotional Conversations:Try to steer clear of heavy discussions about the breakup, especially in the first interaction. They know you’re not together, and reminding them of it can trigger feelings of guilt or discomfort. If they ask how you’re doing, keep your response light. “I’ve been alright, and things are getting better,” is often enough. Changing the subject after this brief response can keep the interaction positive. Prepare a List of Neutral Topics:It’s a good idea to pre-plan some questions or topics to discuss that don’t involve the breakup. Having a few in mind will help you keep the conversation smooth and reduce the risk of an emotional slip-up. 2. Create Opportunities for Face-to-Face InteractionOnce you've reestablished contact, aim for a face-to-face meeting if it feels natural. The goal is not to pressure them into this, but to look for subtle cues that suggest they might be open to meeting. Here’s how to go about it: Gauge Their Openness:If your ex hints at a get-together or seems receptive, you can test the waters with a light suggestion like, “Maybe we can grab coffee sometime to catch up.” If they’re interested, they’ll respond positively. If they hesitate, back off and give them space. Keep it Short and Leave Them Wanting More:When you do meet, make sure to end things on a high note. Keep the meeting to around 45 minutes to an hour. Leave while the interaction is still enjoyable, so they walk away wishing it had lasted longer. This helps create a positive memory of the interaction, encouraging them to reach out again. 3. What to Do if Your Ex Does Not Reach OutIf weeks or even months pass and your ex doesn’t reach out, you’ll need to make a decision. Many people find this silence difficult, but it can also serve as a valuable indicator of your ex’s level of interest. Consider Their Level of Investment:Ask yourself: Is this person showing the qualities of a committed partner? If someone truly cares, they will likely reach out within a reasonable period of time. If they don't, consider what that says about their willingness to invest in a relationship with you. Decide Whether to Reach Out for Closure:Some people feel they need to reach out for closure. If that’s the case, keep your message simple, such as, “I hope you’re doing well.” A statement like this doesn’t apply any pressure for them to respond. If they reply, you can take the conversation further. If they don’t, you have a clear answer and may find it easier to move on. Weighing Your Options:Long periods of no contact can be revealing. If you’re nearing several months or even a year without hearing from them, it’s important to consider whether they’re truly the right person for you. Relationships should involve mutual investment, and if they’re comfortable without any contact, you might be better off moving forward. 4. Building the Face-to-Face ConnectionIn some cases, getting to a face-to-face meeting after your ex h

    18 min

  6. 1 NOV · VIDEO

    Your Ex Feels The Loss LATER

    When Your Ex Begins to Feel the Impact of Loss: Exploring the Shift in Emotional Dynamics After a Breakup Breakups bring a challenging range of emotions. Typically, one person may feel caught off guard and devastated, while the other may seem to hold all the power. However, the emotional dynamics between the one who initiated the breakup and the person who was left behind can shift significantly over time. Known as “role reversal,” this transition often surprises both individuals, flipping the feelings of control and relief into unexpected emotions like regret or even a deep sense of loss. This article explores why this emotional shift happens, how it unfolds, and what steps you can take to navigate this new landscape with strength and clarity. Get the Emergency Breakup Kit at https://MyExBackCoach.com/ebk  1. Control Versus Loss: The Initial Breakup DynamicWhen a breakup happens, the person who initiates it is often in a position of power. This individual has likely spent considerable time processing their decision internally, possibly weighing the relationship’s pros and cons before making the choice to end it. When the moment comes, they may present their reasoning with confidence, leaving little room for the other person’s input. For the person who is on the receiving end, this is profoundly disempowering. Being left without a say in the decision can create a sense of helplessness. The partner who wanted to stay together is suddenly forced into a reality they didn’t choose, dealing with a mixture of heartbreak and a lack of control. This imbalance of power and emotion places the two people on opposite ends of the spectrum: the one who left feels free and in control, while the other is grappling with overwhelming feelings of rejection and powerlessness. This initial divide often sets the stage for a major shift in emotions down the road. 2. Early Feelings of Validation vs. the Sting of RejectionAfter a breakup, the person who initiates it often experiences a wave of self-assurance, especially if their former partner expresses a desire to reconcile. Observing the other person’s hurt and longing can give the initiator a sense of validation, making them feel valued and significant. This can even create a temporary boost in self-worth, reinforcing their choice to leave as they interpret it as a reflection of their desirability. However, for the person who was left, it’s a completely different experience. Rejection cuts deeply, often shaking self-esteem and bringing up doubts about personal worth. While the one who left feels a sense of power, the one left behind is left questioning their value, attractiveness, and what went wrong. For the person who initiated the breakup, the initial sense of validation can feel like an “elevation,” as if they’ve ascended to a new level of self-importance. They might even start seeing other potential partners as “options” rather than people. Meanwhile, the person who was left behind is struggling to make sense of it all, facing a much more painful version of reality. 3. The Ambiguous Excuses: A Shroud of Self-DiscoveryIn many breakups, the person initiating the separation often uses broad, personal excuses like, “I need to work on myself,” or “I’m going through a tough time.” These explanations are difficult to question because they seem introspective and sincere. However, these reasons are often surface-level justifications covering deeper emotions—such as waning attraction, diminished interest, or a lack of motivation to keep working on the relationship. These “self-discovery” justifications allow the person who left to avoid taking full responsibility for the breakup, cloaking their decision in terms that sound thoughtful rather than superficial. For the person left behind, these vague reasons create even more confusion. They’re left wondering why they couldn’t “work on themselves” within the relationship or support their partner through t

    20 min

  7. 19 OCT · VIDEO

    Getting Mixed Signals From Your Ex?

    Read the full article, "Getting Mixed Signals From My Ex" at https://myexbackcoach.com/getting-mixed-signals-ex-boyfriend-girlfriend/ How to Handle Mixed Signals from Your Ex: A Balanced Approach to Getting Them Back If you've ever been on the receiving end of mixed signals from your ex, you know how confusing and frustrating it can be. One moment, they seem interested in rekindling the relationship, and the next, they pull away, leaving you in emotional limbo. This push-pull dynamic is a common experience for many people who are trying to get their ex back. In this article, we’ll explore why your ex might be sending these mixed signals and how you can respond in a way that maximizes your chances of reuniting with them. Understanding Mixed Signals from Your ExWhen your ex sends mixed signals, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. One day, they might text you out of the blue, make plans to meet up, or even flirt. The next day, they could be distant, not respond to your messages, or cancel plans. It’s a rollercoaster that leaves you wondering whether you should stay hopeful or move on. Before diving into the specifics of what to do, it’s important to understand that mixed signals usually stem from confusion—both yours and your ex’s. In most cases, your ex isn’t intentionally playing games with your emotions. They are likely dealing with their own internal struggles, trying to figure out whether getting back together is the right decision. Why Exes Send Mixed SignalsThere are several reasons why your ex might be sending you mixed signals. These are a few of the most common: Confusion About Their FeelingsBreakups are rarely straightforward. Even if your ex was the one who initiated the breakup, that doesn’t mean they are completely certain about their decision. The period following a breakup is often one of emotional turmoil. They might miss you and the relationship at times, but they’re unsure if rekindling things will be the right long-term decision. This internal conflict can manifest as mixed signals, where they show interest one day and retreat the next. Fear of RejectionEven if your ex wants to get back together, they may be afraid of how you’ll react. They might worry that you’re angry, hurt, or indifferent, which can make them hesitant to fully commit to reaching out. Fear of rejection can lead to tentative steps toward reconciliation followed by sudden withdrawal if they sense that things aren’t going exactly as planned. Not Knowing How to ReconnectSometimes, your ex simply doesn’t know how to initiate a full reconciliation. They may feel awkward about what to say or do, especially if they were the one who ended things. Mixed signals could be their way of testing the waters—reaching out in small ways to see how you’ll respond before making a bigger move. Rebound RelationshipsIf your ex is in a rebound relationship, their mixed signals could reflect their struggle between their new partner and lingering feelings for you. They may reach out to you because they miss you or aren’t entirely satisfied with the rebound. However, their mixed signals arise because they are still trying to figure out whether to pursue the new relationship or return to the familiarity of your relationship. Keeping You as a Backup PlanIn some cases, your ex might be trying to keep you on standby, just in case their other romantic options don’t work out. This doesn’t necessarily mean they are doing it maliciously, but they may reach out sporadically to make sure they can still reconnect with you if they decide to. This is often where backup plan mode comes into play, and it’s something you should be cautious of. What Not to Do: Avoid Over-Pursuing or Over-ExcitementNow that you have some insight into why your ex might be sending mixed signals, the next step is to ensure that your own responses don’t make things worse. One of the most common mistakes people make is becoming too eager when their ex shows signs of inte

    15 min

  8. 17 OCT · VIDEO

    "If" by Rudyard Kipling. Read by Coach Lee Wilson

    Rudyard Kipling’s poem "If" is a classic piece written nearly a century ago by the British poet. In the poem, Kipling offers a series of guiding principles, directing his son—and by extension, all of us—on how to live life to the fullest. The poem emphasizes the importance of perseverance, discipline and personal growth. It encourages resilience in the face of life's challenges, reminding readers to persevere through adversity and always strive to rise above tough situations. "If you can keep your head when all about youAre losing theirs and blaming it on you,If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,But make allowance for their doubting too;If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;If you can meet with Triumph and DisasterAnd treat those two impostors just the same;If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spokenTwisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:If you can make one heap of all your winningsAnd risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,And lose, and start again at your beginningsAnd never breathe a word about your loss;If you can force your heart and nerve and sinewTo serve your turn long after they are gone,And so hold on when there is nothing in youExcept the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,If all men count with you, but none too much;If you can fill the unforgiving minuteWith sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!" Coach Lee - https://LeeWilson.org https://MyExBackCoach.com https://MarriageRadio.com

    2 min
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About

Coach Lee is a world-renown relationship coach who helps people get an ex back after a breakup, save a marriage, and become more attractive. Lee has coached people in relationships since 2000. His website is https://MyExBackCoach.com and includes hundreds of articles and videos. Lee has lectured at Pepperdine University and others, is a TED educator on the science of breakups, and has been interviewed by major media including The New York Times, USA Today, The Today Show, New York Post, Men’s Health, L.A. Business Journal, Cosmopolitan, Daily Mail, Metro UK, Bravo TV, Yahoo Lifestyle, Glamor, and MSN among others. Lee uses real-life experience with breakups along with his work for 20 years providing relationship-recovery coaching. He has multiple certifications for relationship coaching & consulting. Get information on his Emergency Breakup Kit & Emergency Marriage Kit at MyExBackCoach.com. SUBSCRIBE to this podcast as well as on YouTube at https://youtube.com/myexbackcoach so you don’t miss videos on saving relationships, keeping love strong, and the science of attraction. INSTAGRAM @RealCoachLee

Information

  • Creator
    Coach Lee
  • Years Active
    2021 - 2024
  • Episodes
    100
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Copyright 2024. All rights reserved.
  • Show Website
    Coach Lee

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