Insomnia Coach® Podcast

Martin Reed, MEd, CHES®, CCSH
Insomnia Coach® Podcast

Welcome to the Insomnia Coach Podcast. My name is Martin Reed. I believe that by changing how we respond to insomnia and all the difficult thoughts and feelings that come with it, we can move away from struggling with insomnia and toward living the life we want to live. In this podcast, I share insomnia success stories featuring people who ended their struggle with insomnia. New episodes are released monthly.

  1. 31 OKT

    How Irina went from feeling enraged at the idea of accepting insomnia to embracing it and ending her struggle with sleep (#64)

    Irina's struggle with insomnia began when she experienced a night of no sleep. This created fear and confusion and Irina worried that something serious was going on — that something might be broken in her brain. The more she tried to make sleep happen, the more pressure she put on herself to make sleep happen, the more elusive it became. Irina tried medication but that left her feeling unrefreshed and didn't deal with the hyperarousal and increasing levels of anxiety she was experiencing. Turning to cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-I), Irina found sleep restriction helpful in the short-term because it helped her rediscover the reassuring sensation of sleepiness rather than fatigue and exhaustion. Unfortunately, the CBT-I technique of stimulus control which involves leaving the bed when awake at night backfired because she was someone who loved spending time in bed — so getting up felt like a punishment and something that raised the stakes at night. She ended up putting more pressure on herself to make sleep happen and that, in turn, made things more difficult. The turning point came when Irina committed to an approach that didn't involve actions geared toward trying to make sleep happen. Although she was originally outraged at the idea of accepting the presence of insomnia and all the difficult thoughts and feelings that come with it, the fact that so many people who had recovered from insomnia were telling her it was the only thing that worked for them led her to commit to this new approach. Acceptance was not easy but ongoing practice helped Irina build skill in experiencing insomnia with less struggle. She became less attached to the idea that she needed to make a certain amount or type of sleep happen. She became more comfortable experiencing difficult thoughts and feelings. The focus of her attention expanded and, as that happened, the power and influence of sleep and insomnia shrunk. Irina let go. She allowed the full range of human thoughts and feelings to come and go as they chose. She gave sleep the opportunity to take care of itself while she took care of doing things that helped her live the life she wanted to live. And, that's exactly what happened.

    1j 26m
  2. 29 JUL

    How Bryan recovered from insomnia by putting less effort into sleep and more effort into living his life (#61)

    When Bryan got sick he experienced an entire night of no sleep for the first time in his life. He didn't sleep the next night, either. When his sleep didn't get back on track, Bryan started to believe that he had lost the ability to sleep and that belief generated a lot of anxiety. As sleep consumed more and more of his energy and attention, Bryan started to withdraw from life. His relationships suffered as sleep became the center of his universe. Bryan found that the more he tried to make sleep happen, the more difficult sleep became, the more anxiety he experienced, the more likely he was to engage in actions that didn't reflect who he was or who he wanted to be, and the more difficult everything became. And yet, as a driven problem-solver, he continued to try. Things began to change for Bryan when he accidentally fell asleep. When he fell asleep even though he didn't do anything to make sleep happen. There was no trying. No effort. No rules. No rituals. No medication. No supplements. Bryan realized that he hadn't lost the ability to sleep after all — and that he didn't need to do anything to make sleep happen. This insight didn't get rid of Bryan's struggles overnight but it prompted him to change his approach. He started acting in ways that served him and the life he wanted to live, rather than sleep. When difficult nights showed up, he would remind himself of the better nights (and how they required no effort or intervention). Then, he would refocus his attention on what he could control by doing things that mattered to him — actions that kept him moving toward the life he wanted to live, independently of sleep. With this approach, sleep started to lose the power and influence it once had over his life. In Bryan's own words, as he started getting his life back to normal, his sleep started getting back to normal, too.

    1 jam
  3. 29 JUN

    How Emily transformed her sleep by accepting insomnia and committing to meaningful daily actions (#60)

    Emily's insomnia struggle began around four months after the birth of her baby. Even though her daughter was sleeping well, Emily was finding it really difficult to fall asleep. She started to get nervous and anxious as her level of exhaustion intensified. When the medication prescribed by her doctor didn't work, Emily started to get really concerned. She started researching solutions but found that the more she tried to fix her sleep, the more difficult it became and the more stressful things got. Emily's anxiety intensified to the point where the arrival of bedtime would lead to a racing heart and a sense of panic. It felt like her body was preparing for a marathon while she wanted to get a good night of sleep so she could be the mother she wanted to be for her daughter. Emily's transformation began when she changed her approach to sleep and her response to insomnia. She reduced the amount of time she allotted for sleep to more closely match the amount of sleep she was getting on an average night. She started to do something more pleasant whenever she found herself struggling with being awake at night. She stopped calculating the amount of sleep she was getting each night and she began to look at sleep with less judgement and more neutrality. Instead of trying to fight or avoid her racing heart and the anxiety, she surrendered to them — she acknowledged their presence and allowed them to exist. And, she committed to doing things that mattered, even after difficult nights and even when she felt exhausted. Emily surrendered to whatever might happen each night — and this freed her from the pressure she was putting on herself to generate a certain amount or type of sleep and allowed her to move away from the struggle that came from trying to control her thoughts and feelings. Today, Emily goes to bed sometime around 11 at night and wakes naturally around seven in the morning. Sleep is no longer a concern or a focus. Her focus now is on living the life she wants to live.

    1j 9m
  4. 31 MEI

    How Kirstin rediscovered her natural ability to sleep after feeling completely dependent on sleeping pills (#59)

    Kirstin began using medication every now and then to help her sleep on Sunday nights. When she faced a big personal challenge that made sleep more difficult, she started to use it more often. The plan was to take a small dose to get her through that difficult period and then stop the medication because she didn't want to be reliant on something to help her fall asleep. Unfortunately Kirstin found that when she tried to stop taking the medication, sleep didn't happen. She went without sleep for three or four days straight before reaching for the medication in a desperate attempt to make sleep happen. Kirstin developed the belief that she couldn't sleep without medication and this created a lot of panic, distress, and confusion. Kirstin became obsessed with sleep. All she could think about was insomnia. Her days were filled with researching sleep remedies and experimenting with sleep-related rules and rituals. Nothing worked. Kirstin tried to stop herself from thinking about insomnia. That didn't work either. As nighttime approached she would get extremely nervous, scared, and upset. People tried to be supportive but nobody understood what she was going through. Things changed when Kirstin came across the Insomnia Coach podcast and realized that she wasn't alone. As she listened to the stories of others, insomnia started to feel less mysterious. At this point, Kirstin started to reclaim her life from insomnia. She made and followed through on daytime plans, regardless of how she slept. She prepared for difficult nights in advance so she had alternatives to struggling and battling all night long. She abandoned all her sleep efforts, rules, and rituals. She allowed all the difficult thoughts and feelings she was experiencing to exist — she acknowledged them and allowed them to come and go as they pleased. She practiced being kinder to herself. Kirstin's journey was not easy. She experienced ups and downs. When things felt difficult she made the conscious effort to focus on actions that would keep her moving toward the life she wanted to live and the relationship with sleep she wanted to have. Kirstin is also applying many of the skills she gained from her experience with insomnia to other parts of her life. And, she is sleeping without medication.

    1j 10m
  5. 30 APR

    How Summer let go of trying to control her sleep, her thoughts, and her feelings — and regained control over her life (#58)

    When Summer experienced consecutive nights of insomnia, sleep started to consume her life. She started taking time off work and she began endlessly researching sleep. Summer felt that if she could get rid of anxiety and stress things would improve — but this led to even more of a struggle as Summer went to war with her mind. Sleep became an obsession. It was all she could think about. Summer felt as though she was losing control. She felt helpless. She started to blame herself. It was becoming increasingly difficult for her to live the life she wanted to live. The more Summer tried to fix her sleep, the more she seemed to struggle. Sleep-related rules and rituals didn't work. Changing her diet didn't work. Changing the temperature in her room didn't work. Trying to eliminate blue light didn't work. Ultimately, what worked for Summer was not trying. She realized that she couldn't control sleep. And, by no longer trying to make sleep happen, she started to struggle less with sleep and she had more energy to live the life she wanted to live. Summer also started to be kinder to herself. She stopped trying to fight or avoid the thoughts her mind would generate as it did its job of looking out for her. She acknowledged her thoughts and feelings and allowed them to come and go. She expanded the focus of her attention. She spent more time with friends. She lived by her values. Summer stopped trying to control sleep and she stopped trying to control her thoughts and feelings. As a result, sleep no longer controls Summer's life. Thoughts and feelings no longer control Summer's life. Summer controls her own life.

    1j 9m
  6. 26 MAC

    How Nina overcame insomnia by embracing wakefulness and dropping the struggle (#57)

    Nina typically dealt with occasional periods of sleep disruption by taking some form of over-the-counter medication. When she fell pregnant this was no longer an option. Work stress seemed to make sleep more difficult and so Nina stopped taking on work. Her sleep would improve but every time she started working again, she struggled with sleep all over again. At this point, Nina thought her ongoing struggle with sleep might be down to pregnancy hormones and yet, after giving birth, her sleep seemed to get even worse. Nina tried to make sleep happen by consuming alcohol, taking supplements, and meditating. She tried hypnosis. Her doctor prescribed her medication but the side-effects were awful. Nothing worked and Nina felt stuck, she felt scared, and she didn't know what to do. Then, Nina found the Insomnia Coach podcast. She realized she wasn't alone. That there was hope. When we started working together, Nina started to make changes. She started to do things that mattered each day, even after difficult nights and even when that felt really difficult. Instead of struggling with being awake during the night, she planned and engaged in activities that would help make being awake feel a bit more productive or a bit more pleasant. Nina gave herself permission to be awake. She was kinder to herself when things felt difficult. She stopped trying to get a certain amount or type of sleep. She focused on actions that would help her get her life back from insomnia rather than continuing to battle with insomnia. Nina's journey was not easy. There were setbacks. She went back to sleeping pills from time to time. Today, Nina is back at work. She enjoys her bed again. She is being the mother she wants to be. She has her life back from insomnia.

    1j 4m

Perihal

Welcome to the Insomnia Coach Podcast. My name is Martin Reed. I believe that by changing how we respond to insomnia and all the difficult thoughts and feelings that come with it, we can move away from struggling with insomnia and toward living the life we want to live. In this podcast, I share insomnia success stories featuring people who ended their struggle with insomnia. New episodes are released monthly.

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